Liberated
by DXM Junkie
Summary: After running away from stifling isolation Roxas meets a quirky musician. He transforms from a stoic brat to a confident menace. Akuroku/Zemyx/Cleon. Mature.
1. Truth is stranger than fiction

Liberated

Part I. _Truth is stranger than fiction._

By DXMJUNKIE

WARNING: This story is for mature audiences. All characters, songs, and references to copywritten material are obviously not mine and I take no claim in ownership. This story was not produced for monetary gain.

XXX

When Roxas first got to college, he'd been overwhelmed. The college he was attending – the University of Wisconsin-Madison – was fucking huge.

The college proper took up most of the city around the capitol, and was so spread out that it took Roxas nearly two hours to find the buildings his classes were in, let alone the individual classrooms. It was radically different from the small-town atmosphere of his home.

He moved into the on-campus dorm Tripp Hall with only three suitcases of stuff. He was far away from home for the first time, in another part of the country, and he was scared stiff.

Hundreds of faces blurred together and he didn't know a single person. He was used to knowing everyone around him. The islands on which he grew up were remote, tiny, and the natives had been tight.

But leaving home left him vindictive. As if the bitter parting wasn't enough, he couldn't get used to the new ways of living. It wasn't warm and tropical in Wisconsin and it was humid in an odd way. The dorms were muggy and unbearable. The cities atmosphere seemed unfriendly yet liberal. The campus had a scholarly feel and everyone seemed too busy.

Nighttimes were overrun with people shouting and running around and he couldn't find any peace and quiet. He wasn't used to so much noise at all hours of the day. Even with earplugs the shouts of college kids woke him up.

His roommate turned out to be a hyper band nerd named Demyx. Demyx's half of the room was filled with instruments and band posters. Roxas was initially worried about getting along with the kid since their personalities were so oppositional, but Demyx had a car and Roxas needed to get basic living supplies.

Demyx had offered to drive Roxas to Walmart and the art store Penco so he could spend the money he'd saved back home on pricey canvases and watercolor paints. Roxas quickly learned that Demyx talked nonstop, but it reminded Roxas of his brother and Roxas found an odd comfort in the rambling. Plus, Demyx was an easy person to be friends with and Roxas was sure he really needed friends at this point.

Roxas entered college as an undecided art major and would be taking general studio classes. Demyx was in the School of Music and he was one year older than Roxas. Because Demyx already lived in Madison for a year he was able to show the blond around town and explain to him some of the traditions on campus. Roxas let all the information seep in slowly, but he still felt out of place in this strange new world. He suddenly had all this free time that he didn't know what to do with.

Posters were slung around campus with slogans such as, "_Recall Scott Walker_," and Roxas didn't understand a word of them. There were demonstrations every night on the capitol lawn, and the whole city was politically charged. Roxas had never met so many people his age that would read the newspaper and talk about foreign issues. It initially made him feel like a small-town hick.

The slang his dormmates used was unfamiliar, and when he asked questions about it he quickly became embarrassed at the incredulous reactions. These students all seemed to function on another level from Roxas, who was used to slow and relaxing afternoons.

Class started as a blur with the weeks passing swiftly. Roxas wasn't talkative by nature but managed to make a few friends. He met a girl named Xion in his Art History course, and a found quiet companionship with a guy called Zexion from his floor in Tripp Hall.

Roxas fell in love with college life.

He started to love living around so many other people, he enjoyed the nonstop events and the random musicians who would play on State Street. State Street was filled to the brim tons with shops that sold weird stuff, and sometimes when he and Dem were bored they would peruse merchandise even if they couldn't afford anything. Madison contained so many bookstores and he would sit in them for hours with Zexion, absorbing ideas companionably. With Zexion he never felt like he needed to fill the silence. They could sometimes sit together for a whole day and not utter a single word.

Roxas's only hobby back home was skateboarding. As it turned out, Xion loved skateboarding too, and since she was a year older she knew all the best skateparks. She had a moped so every Saturday they would wake up early and drive to McFarland and skate until their whole bodies ached.

Dem was social to a fault and it wasn't until nearly a month into school that he finally managed to drag Roxas to his first party. On the Destiny Islands – Roxas' hometown – there were parties of course. But they were small get-togethers and most people didn't drink. Drinking was something viewed as a taboo because most people he knew were athletes, and they didn't want to ruin their bodies.

However in Madison parties were wild on an unimaginable scale. Most of the houses around campus had balconies which students would throw events on. Leading up to State Street on an average Thursday you would find hundreds of people drinking around town. This made Roxas apprehensive of even going out because he hadn't really sipped any alcohol before and he didn't want to appear naïve.

But Dem wouldn't shut up about it for nearly two weeks and kept mentioning how Roxas was a stick in the mud that never had any fun.

Roxas found no retort for this and finally relented. If only so Demyx wouldn't think he was a loser.

So Roxas, an eighteen-year-old freshman at UW-of-M, went to his first college party.

Our story starts here.

XXX

Roxas was nervous as he stood on the doorstep outside what was obviously college housing. He could tell because paint peeled off the wood siding and the front porch was littered with dingy mismatching furniture. A bike was locked against the metal gate in front.

Demyx knew the tenants who rented this house, he was in the same band with them, but Roxas was always nervous when he met new people. Demyx assured him before they left the dorms that he would get along well with the people in his band, and that they would be friendly. He also assured Roxas that nobody would force him to drink if he didn't want to.

The blond could hear noise emitting from the party outside. The music was blaring through open windows, the sound of laughter echoing across the empty lawn.

Roxas pulled his sweatshirt tighter around him as Demyx opened the door and strolled inside confidently. Roxas was startled when Dem didn't knock first, but figured that nobody within the house would be able to hear knocking anyway.

There had to be at least twenty-five people crammed into the small place, each student held a bottle of beer or a red cup in hand. A beer pong table was set up in the dining room right across the hall with another set of people rapidly flipping cups on a coffee table. Demyx automatically went over and started mingling with the kids flipping cups which left Roxas to stand awkwardly by the front door. He shifted his weight nervously, unsure of how he should proceed.

A tall girl with blonde hair shoved passed him and shut the door with a bang. She spun around and glared down at him aggressively.

"Hey short shit, close the fucking door when you get somewhere." The blonde told him in a bitchy tone.

Roxas shook his head despondently, "Sorry," he mumbled in her direction with a lost expression.

The blonde studied him for a moment before sighing and explaining, "It's alright, sorry to snap at you like that. It's about cops, okay? There are a couple underagers here and the fuzz are more likely to burst in if the door is wide open. Visual evidence, you know?"

Roxas nodded again before softly responding, "Oh."

The girl held her hand out and gave him a tilted frown, "Yo, I'm Larxene."

Roxas took the hand and quietly murmured his name. The girl finally cracked a smile.

"Not the talkative type, huh? Weird since you're here with Dem. He barely knows how to shut the fuck up."

Roxas shyly smiled back. He completely understood that sentiment.

"C'mon short shit, let's get you a drink." Larxene grabbed his wrist and Roxas was suddenly being pulled through a labyrinth of rooms down a set of stairs and into a sweaty basement. Strobe lights were set up in the corner with a fog machine blowing smoke. It was hard to see, everyone around him was a lot taller. Roxas coughed at the heavy smell of cigarettes, his eyes watering.

Larxene pulled him over to the bar in the back corner. She turned back, "Got five bucks?"

Roxas nodded before pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. He didn't really want to drink but he also didn't want to look like a loser. He handed her the money.

"Axel you asshat! Come get me a fucking cup!" Larxene shrieked across the bar, her strong voice easy to hear over the music. She slammed his five-dollar bill on the makeshift table.

A redheaded guy glanced up while smirking, meandering past the other bartender and leaning over the bar. Roxas peered up at him silently; he really liked the man's jade eyes. It reminded him of the ocean after a storm all vibrantly green and eerie.

"Who's this little lost frosh?" Axel asked, making his tone friendly when he saw how skittish the boy appeared. Like a herded sheep far away from the flock, Axel thought the innocent expression was cute. Larxene roughly swatted Roxas's back, catching him by surprise.

"This is Dem's new dormmate, Rocks-ass." She informed Axel, amused that Roxas gasped for breath. Roxas glared up at her when she slaughtered the pronunciation of his name.

"Um, it's Rox-us," Roxas told them, raising his voice so he could be heard over the crowd. Axel reached under the bar and after a moment started mixing liquors together with an expert ease.

"You don't strike me as a beer person," Axel told him with a disarming smile.

Larxene quirked an eyebrow at his expression and finally rolled her eyes. '_Oh, great_,' she thought to herself, '_another easy conquest. Well, at least someone's getting laid_.' She twirled around and promptly strode away, heading up the stairs without a glance back. Roxas was decidedly uneasy. He was now in a stranger's basement – at a party no less. The people back home would never believe this.

Axel pushed a drink across the bar which returned Roxas's attention to him. It was in a red cup and Roxas slowly took it, cautiously sniffing the mixture. Didn't common sense dictate that you shouldn't drink anything someone else made? He finally glanced up Axel, who he was internally calling the giant.

"It's a tequila sunrise. Tequila, limejuice, orange juice, and I added some strawberry grenadine so it won't taste strong." He told Roxas with the same friendly nonchalance.

Roxas nodded while he peered down into the cup, figuring that at least he knew what was in it. Roxas saw the redhead duck under the boards of the bar and stand next to him. His hands looped casually in his front pockets, and Roxas was struck by how_cool_ this lean guy was. He was wearing a ripped black band shirt, tight jeans, studded belts, and three necklaces. He held himself in a cocky manner and was incredibly tall.

"I'm Axel, one of your roommates band-buddies. I play the electric guitar and do some vocals." The redhead informed Roxas (not that Roxas even asked).

Roxas was unsure what to say so he took a small sip of the drink. It tasted… well, delicious. Way better than he thought alcohol would taste. Axel smiled at the look of delight that flickered across the smaller boys face, and watched him down another longer sip.

Axel bent at his waste so they were eye level, "Wanna head upstairs? Chat for a little while?"

Roxas nodded again before trailing after Axel absentmindedly. He wasn't sure why he was blindly following this guy but something about the easy way Axel talked made Roxas feel calm. And anything was better than the smoky basement.

Axel plopped on a couch in the living room. He high-fived a man with dreadlocked hair before scooting over to make room; Roxas dropped down beside him.

"So what major are you in?" Axel asked conversationally.

Roxas thought about it for a long moment, "Art undecided."

"… Not really the talkative type, hmm?"

Roxas huffed down at his cup wordlessly before taking a large gulp.

"Well, that's okay! I can talk for the both of us," Axel said, "I'm Axel McKenna, 21, Scorpio, in the pyrotechnics major under the science wing. I'm getting a minor in graphic design. I wanna blow shit up for a living and then get famous by creating magazines about the stuff I blow up. I really love watching stupid TV shows and going out to the bars and skateboarding. Oh, and I pretty much live for music."

Roxas's eyebrows rose and he tentatively asked, "You like skateboarding?"

Axel nodded enthusiastically. "Oh hell yes, I've been into that since I was a tween. I loved watching Jackass and Viva La Bam, 'cause that skater Bam Margera is the ultimate badass. You've ever seen those shows?"

Roxas shook his head in negation, "My father didn't allow us to watch television."

Axel's eyes became saucers. Internally Axel was relieved to get the kid talking.

"No shit? You poor thing! What did you do for fun?"

Roxas gave a tiny smile, "Skateboarding."

Axel grinned back before reaching out to offer his hand. Roxas stared at the large ring on the redhead's index finger and the spindly tattoo on his wrist before pushing his own hand over.

"So this is your first college party." It wasn't a question.

"How can you tell?" Roxas sounded surprised.

Axel chuckled, running his hand through his hair, "C'mon kid, seriously? You look so nervous! Like someone is gonna come and try to kidnap you."

Roxas frowned, his lips at the edge of the cup. His cheeks felt warm and he wasn't nervous anymore.

"I dunno, just never went to one."

"Never?"

"Never."

Axel whistled before standing up and spinning around. Roxas locked eyes with him anxiously. Had he done something to offend Axel? Was it because of how much of a loser Roxas acted?

Until Axel reached his hand out again, pulling Roxas up from the couch. He smiled, showing white canines.

"Then we better make this night the best!" Axel stated happily, snatching his wrist and pulling him along. Roxas wondered if everyone from the Midwest was this pushy.

They went through the kitchen and up a backset of stairs. The second floor was a lot cleaner, and a lot quieter for which Roxas was thankful. Axel pushed open a door and flipped on a light.

"This is my room," Axel told him as he crossed to a window. With his back facing Roxas he glanced around.

"What are we doing…?" Roxas asked cautiously.

"Giving you the best first college party _ever_, duh. Now down that drink and come with me."

Roxas glanced down to his cup before tipping his head back. He finished the beverage a moment later, feeling tipsy. He watched Axel disappear out the window, motioning with an arm for him to follow.

Roxas normally hated heights but he was woozy from the alcohol so he slung his leg over the divider and clamored out. The wind hit his face so Roxas turned his cheeks away from the icy breeze. There were small blocks of wood nailed to the roof, and he watched Axel climb them.

Roxas heaved up the roof after him, grateful for his sweatshirt.

When he got to the top, Axel put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. Roxas looked around and gasped.

From where this house was positioned he could see the Capitol Building perfectly. Lights bounced off other windows, and it stood white and powerful. Roxas could see the sculptures, the elegant gold motif on the top, and part of the street that circled the building.

"How beautiful," Roxas murmured unintentionally.

Axel barked out a laugh, making Roxas jump frown in embarrassment.

"That's what I think too," Axel responded with a smile, his other arm gesturing to chairs that were nailed down on the far side. Roxas chuckled at the randomness but sat down anyway, watching Axel flip open a cooler.

"Larxene always keeps girly drinks up here." Axel told him, handing him a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade. "This stuff doesn't have much alcohol, so the little lightweight should be fine!"

"Little lightweight?" Roxas echoed with sigh. He barely glanced at the glass bottle before twisting it open, sipping as he turned back to the view.

"How did you know to come on the roof for this view?" Roxas asked.

Axel blinked. That had been the longest sentence the kid had spoken yet.

"Um," Axel thought for a moment, "We moved in last year. Our buddy Xigbar used to live here. Him and his girlfriend at the time used to come up here to fuck."

Roxas blinked, looking around. '_That couldn't be very comfortable_,' he thought.

Axel chuckled at the expression but continued, "Despite its horrid previous reputation as a sex-roof, I really like it up here. Nice and quiet."

Roxas nodded, spooning his arms around his legs. He shut his eyes and didn't answer.

Axel was staring down at Roxas curiously. There weren't too many people Axel had ever met quite like this blond kid. Normally Axel didn't like quiet people, but this kid was fascinating. His countenance was mellow but when he got irritated, such as when Larxene mispronounced his name, his eyes were like razor blades. It was wild.

"You can come here whenever you want," Axel added softly, taking a quick swig of his own drink.

Roxas copied the action, "I would like that."

Axel perked up, "So we can be friends?"

"You want to be friends?" Roxas asked blankly.

"Well, _duh_."

Roxas grinned up at him. Axel felt his breath hitch. The shyness that Roxas had been wearing was gone and his blue eyes were sparkling. He laughed softly and looked very pleased. Axel felt inexplicably proud of himself.

Axel put his thumb up to his mouth for a moment, before asking, "Have you ever smoked?"

Roxas blinked in surprise, "What? Cigarettes? No."

Axel chuckled and leaned forward, "No, not cigarettes. Weed."

"Like marijuana!" Roxas yelped. "Um, no, never."

"Have you ever wanted to?" Axel prompted, oddly curious.

Roxas frowned as he thought about it. He knew about weed of course, from that drug course he'd taken back in high school. The gateway drug, the teacher had called it.

Axel laughed again but it was a nervous sound. "Don't feel obligated to, dude! It's no big dealeo if you don't want to-"

"What? You have weed on you?" Roxas hedged.

Axel nodded balefully, "Larxene and I bought an eighth today from my other blond buddy. But I shouldn't have mentioned it. You're a little froshy, of course you haven't done that."

Axel was embarrassed, his cheeks flushing. He felt like an idiot for exposing the innocent kid to something incredibly illegal. Roxas watched him carefully, transfixed. Axel had such a different array of expressions. His face gave away everything he was thinking. Roxas wanted to see more of them.

"I'm sorry if you think people who do that are… like, stupid or whatever." Axel continued.

"I'll try it." Roxas firmly stated. Axel blinked, shaking his head quickly.

"No, no! Sorry, you don't have too-"

"Axel."

Axel blinked at the sound of his name. Apparently Roxas wasn't the sort to forget names.

"I'll try it. I need to experience more things. People can't grow up if they don't do things that scare them, or make them nervous." Roxas slowly explained, taking a few more sips of his drink.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, I won't die, right?" Roxas was dead serious.

Axel laughed openly at that sentiment. Roxas began to appreciate how full the older boys laugh was. It held nothing back.

"Bwahaaaa! No way, you won't die!"

"What will it feel like?" Roxas queried as he leaned sideways towards the redhead.

"Um, I guess floaty. You will only need to try a tiny bit to feel it because you've never done it before."

"But we can't do it up here," Roxas promptly informed him.

"What? Why not? We always smoke up here."

"I would fall off the roof on our way back down." Roxas told him with that same stoic expression. Axel grinned again and he leaned forward to brush his fingertips through the blond spikes atop Roxas' head.

"Okay, let's go to my room."

As they climbed back down the roof, Roxas wondered what he was getting himself into. He could practically hear his brother scolding him for being so irresponsible. Drinking was one thing, but he was about to consume illegal drugs.

Yet, Axel felt oddly safe. He somehow knew that Axel would take care of him if anything happened. He knew that Axel would protect him.

They clambered inside and onto the redhead's bed, which held a strong scent of musk and cologne. Roxas blankly watched Axel pull out a little tin container from atop his bookshelf.

"Cough drops?" Roxas read aloud.

Axel flipped the container open. Inside was a tiny white pipe, a smaller container with what was apparently weed, and a mini-lighter.

"So prepared." Roxas was slightly awed. Did all students at his school have a small cough drop box hiding drugs? Surely not.

Axel rolled his eyes, "Kid, you said you're an art student, right?"

"Yes?"

"Well, get used to being around weed then. Almost all the art and music students smoke. It's just something people do, way better for them than drinking. Dem smokes all the time."

"Demyx does! He never told me." Roxas murmured.

"Well, duh. Normal people don't bring that up in conversation with someone they just met- um…" Axel bit his lip sheepishly.

Roxas smiled up at him and informed him, "You're _so_ not normal."

Axel nodded, "That's probably true."

He handed Roxas the pipe and he took it awkwardly. What was he supposed to do now?

"Put this up to your mouth, I'll light the lighter, and you breath in." Axel told him. Roxas did as he was told, putting the end against his lips. Axel grew very close, his hand cupping the flame from the lighter.

Roxas breathed the smoke in and found that it tasted strange. Very organic. He didn't cough to Axel's surprise. He just kept inhaling.

"Now hold the smoke in your lungs." Axel stated, watching him carefully.

Roxas did so for a moment, before exhaling. Roxas watched the smoke blow beyond Axel's head. Axel quickly tapped the pipe before repeating that process himself.

Roxas watched him in a daze. How strange, he thought, how he felt like he'd always known Axel. Like this wasn't the first night he'd ever met him.

"So?" Axel asked after a pause.

Roxas thought about it, "I dunno."

His voice was quiet when he continued, "I feel very calm and peaceful. I'm glad that I met you tonight, we should go skateboarding. I have a friend named Xion from my art class and we can ask Demyx to drive us to this sweet skatepark with an 80 inch half-pipe-"

Axel began giggling, a cheerfully honest sound. "Wow, never would have guessed that weed would get you to open up more than when you were drinking!"

Roxas blinked and didn't respond.

Axel leaned forward again, his face mere inches from the younger students. His sharp eyes bore into Roxas, but the action didn't make him feel uncomfortable enough to pull away. Axel obviously had a different space bubble than most people.

"You said you like to do things that scare you? Make you nervous?" Axel asked innocently enough.

Roxas nodded. Axel grinned at him.

"Then we are going to be great friends!" He cried happily.

Roxas chuckled before a loud bang pounded at the door and made him jump. Suddenly Demyx appeared in the room, looking pretty intoxicated.

"Axel! You stole Roxas you bastard! I was like, where the fuck did you _go_? I came up here before, I think…" He paused, looking down at his red cup, "And another thing! You smoked up my innocent roommate at his first party, Axel, _really_?" He said the last words as a mocking taunt.

Axel rolled his eyes, "Shut up and close the door, you loud bitch."

Demyx did so with drunken grace, plopping on the bed next to Roxas. Demyx began to ramble, leaving Roxas to his thoughts.

They sat like that for almost twenty minutes, Demyx ranting needlessly. Axel lit a cigarette and seemed content to listen. Roxas rarely spoke, but he could tell that Axel was staring at him. After a while, they decided to head back downstairs.

Roxas didn't really want to go back to the party; he was far more comfortable in the presence of this new redhead and his roommate. Then Axel pet his hair and asked if they could stick together that night. Roxas blushed a little and nodded his agreement.

"Oh~ that's so fucking precious." Demyx was too loud. Roxas glared up at his roommate, the combined use of drugs making him oddly complacent.

"Shut the hell up, Fohawk," Roxas replied with a snarky tone.

Axel burst out laughing as they got down the stairs. Demyx was laughing a moment later and Roxas couldn't help but echo them. Soon they were all grabbing their sides, breathless like fools.

Demyx began to meander back to the living room. Axel grabbed Roxas's arm and pulled him close. Roxas could smell Axel's cologne; it lulled Roxas into a state of security.

"Hey, _Rox-us_," he emphasized, "Can we exchange digits?"

"Digits?" Roxas asked blankly.

"You know, contact information?" Axel pulled out his cell phone. Roxas felt lightheaded.

He fished his phone out of pocket, and they traded. After they exchanged phone numbers the night became a blur for Roxas.

Larxene had mixed him another drink in the basement and he had danced with Axel under the strobe lights. Speakers pounded heady punk music; nobody could understand the lyrics. The students around them were bobbing their heads and thrashing their bodies on the floor in a wild abandon.

Roxas was sweaty, grinding together with these people he'd never met. He had no idea how many people were on that floor, but felt happily anonymous. Nobody knew him so what did it matter if he was hammered and dancing drunkenly?

The only person who existed in his world that night was Axel. Axel's untamable red hair, his heady gaze, his rough voice. Roxas watched him the whole night, entranced. He hadn't known that Axel was doing the exact same thing. So they kept on wildly dancing, laughing, drinking.

They were young, stupidly happy art freaks that night. Roxas had never felt so perfect in his whole life.

XXX

The next morning when Roxas woke up his head was pounding and he wanted a fucking glass of water. He groaned, shading his hand from the light.

A moment later he jumped as his heart spiked in shock. This was most definitely not his room. Frantically looking around, he glanced next to him and saw a head of red spikes pooled against a pillow. His memory flickered back. _Axel._

Dropping his head into his hands, he groaned again softly before climbing out of the bed. He spotted his shoes kicked on the floor and quickly tugged them on. He still felt drunk. What time was it? He didn't care.

After he collected himself Roxas began fishing in his pockets for his phone and wallet. Both were thankfully intact and he flicked his cell open. Two missed texts. Glancing through them he didn't notice Axel roll over and open his eyes.

"Leaving?" Axel asked, unsure what to say. His voice sounded scratchy.

Roxas's breath hitched, nearly dropping his phone in surprise. His eyes locked onto Axel's.

"Um," he glanced back at his phone. It was already eleven a.m. He totally did not feel like going to the skatepark with Xion. He felt bad for betraying the tradition but he was still too intoxicated to properly ride his skateboard.

"No?" He asked doubtfully as a request for Axel to let him stay.

Axel's lips twitched as he rubbed his eyes, "I'll get us some water. You can go use the bathroom; it's down the hall on the left. You remember much from last night?"

"Yes," Roxas told him, before screwing his eyebrows together and amending, "Bits."

"Yeah, sorry about that kid. I knew it was your first party and all but didn't stop you from drinking too much." Axel scratched his fingers through his hair. It was messy now, scrunched from sleeping.

Roxas shook his head, "No, it's okay. I had fun."

Axel nodded, wincing when his own head pounded, "Then let us go get greasy food and copious amounts of caffeine to rid us of our hangovers. Unless you have something else to do?"

"Nope, I was supposed to go to the skatepark with Xion but I'm gonna text her and tell her that I can't make it. I'm sure she will be happy. She kept telling me to get out and meet more people."

Axel quickly climbed out of his bed, "That's the right attitude, Roxas."

The thin redhead threw his shirt off, shaking away his sleep. Roxas watched him for a long moment, before sliding his eyes in the opposite direction. Roxas couldn't help sneak another peek at the slim muscles; Axel's body was covered in tattoos.

Roxas never thought that tattoos were particularly attractive. The tattoos he'd seen on tourists back home were cliché and ugly. But Axel's tattoos were oddly beautiful. He had one on his chest that looked like fire, with flames licking down his torso. Between his hips he had a heartogram inked. Most of the design was covered by tight jeans.

Axel threw open his closet and reached for a t-shirt. Roxas blindly walked out of the room and began to walk across the hall. He didn't want to be caught staring at Axel topless.

He could barely remember the house from last night; he only clearly remembered the roof. After Roxas relieved himself, he washed his hands and stared at his disheveled reflection in the unfamiliar mirror.

He could only imagine what people back home would think if they knew what he had done last night. '_You're a pot smoking, underage drinking, foolish college kid who needs to grow up_,' is what his brother would say. Roxas sighed, washing his face with cool water. He finally met his own gaze in the mirror and gave himself a small smile.

It had all been worth it.

Now he could spend the day with Axel.

Nearly ten minutes later and after pounding two large glasses of ice water, Axel and Roxas stumbled out to the front lawn which was covered in empty beer bottles and crunched cups.

They strode side-by-side down the sidewalk next to the bike lane, both grumbling quietly about the sun. It was a bright beautiful day, not quite fall but still cool. Roxas felt a little grimy to be walking around in the same clothes as yesterday but Axel didn't seem to notice.

Axel lived on West Mifflin Street which was only a few blocks from State Street so they headed left past the Orpheum Theatre and down the block. Axel was rambling in a way that mirrored Demyx. Roxas found himself listening attentively.

They passed Roxas's favorite bookshop when a question finally popped into his head. His brain was sluggish.

"What happened to Demyx last night?"

Axel thought about it for a moment as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. After propping one in his mouth and taking a deep drag, he hummed to himself.

"Hmm, if I recall right Demyx was more hammered than you were, but you kept saying that you didn't want to leave my side last night so Dem headed back to the dorms at like two."

Roxas tried to ignore Axel's second admission, instead stating, "Well, our dorm isn't that far."

"No, but poor Dem probably had to go through past Langdon Street. Fuckin' Coastie Island." Axel told him grimly.

"Coastie Island?" Roxas rolled his eyes; again with the weird names for everything around Madison.

"Haha, I keep forgetting that you're brand new. Coasties are like the uber-preps of UW-of-M. They come from the East or West coast and are spoiled fucks." Axel snorted as he continued, unconsciously flicking on his cigarette.

"They don't have to spend a dime on school so they live in these private residence halls that cost a shit-ton. They wear Bucky t-shirts and huge sunglasses with those ugly Ugg-boots, and black leggings all year round. Coastie Island rubs up right next to Liberal-Artsville, which is where you live."

Roxas slowly absorbed this information, "So why is it bad that Dem went through this Coastie place?"

"Because they probably ridiculed him from the balconies. The coasties are super stuck up. They always make fun of people and have a special kind of fun reserved for bitching about art and music students."

They reached the Brocach Irish Pub, which was on the same block as Capitol Square.

The inside was dim and relaxed; they sat in the back corner. As they ordered food and noisily gobbled it down, the pair talked about anything and everything. Roxas noticed that though Axel did like to talk a lot, he also liked to listen to what Roxas had to say. He would wait patiently for Roxas to think about his answer first, and he always gave thoughtful responses.

After they ate Roxas felt a little nauseous. He'd eaten too fast and his head was still pounding. Axel suggested taking the bus back to his house. Then they could chill in the darkness of his room and watch movies and bum the day away.

That plan sounded perfect to the kid who was in dire need of a relaxing afternoon. He was glad that Axel didn't make fun of him for getting sick after drinking and he was also pleased that Axel seemed to be such an easy friend to have.

They spent the day together inside the Unsafe Zone, which was apparently the name of Axel's house. Axel had three roommates; the blond girl Larxene from last night (who was sleeping off her hangover) and two science students who didn't come home much.

Just as planned they watched four movies back-to-back, smoked a little weed, and simply loafed around. In Axel's company, Roxas felt more talkative than he'd been in years.

XXX

October went quickly. School was beyond hectic but Roxas still found time to hang out with Axel almost every day. Axel's schedule was even worse than his because he was a junior and taking twenty credits, but the redhead would drop everything to go skateboarding with Roxas.

Sometimes they would study together in the main library and afterwards they always shared a quiet drink on the roof. Axel was introduced to Xion, and Roxas found out that Axel already knew Zexion through a mutual friend. Demyx was happy that he liked Axel's company and poked fun at his quiet roommate about it.

In the next month Roxas's group became steady and close; this stability was Roxas's saving grace. He wasn't used to having a full schedule and his classes were murder. But he managed to stay sane and found himself loving college more for the challenge it brought him.

Halloween was upon them and Roxas learned that Halloween in Madison was a _huge_ deal. It was all anyone around him seemed to talk about.

The fashion apparel students were freakishly enthusiastic, Xion included.

He was walking with Xion after their last class of the day. She was ranting again about Halloween, which was a frequent occurrence in the last week. The fashion apparel students took Halloween as a challenge to create the best outfits and have a chance to show off their wicked sewing skills.

"Jeeze Roxas, you need to learn more about the traditions of Madison! Seriously, State Street on Halloween is mega-huge, right behind Mifflin. Thousands of people come from all over the Midwest to show off their Halloween costumes. Well, and to drink. This year I'm doing steampunk!"

Roxas nodded, wondering silently what the hell a steampunk was.

"But hey, be thankful I'm your friend! I talked to Axel and Dem and they both agreed that being a steampunk group would look collectively awesome."

"What's steampunk?" Roxas finally asked.

"Oh, it's like…" Xion's voice trailed away before she slid her blue eyes back to his. "… It's a hard genre to explain; just think Wild Wild West meets rugged technology. I've been working on a couple costumes in my spare time and I have one that would look epic on you."

Roxas's cell chimed in his pocket. He flipped it open and quickly scanned the message from Axel.

"Thanks Xion, for making me a costume. I probably would have just bought one-" Roxas started saying.

Xion shook her head furiously in response. She was clutching her fists tightly and marched forward with conviction, "Fuck that! You're adorable and you're going to wear the clothes I've made for you!"

Roxas sighed in resignation, "Adorable?" He echoed.

"_Totally_ adorable," Axel's voice came from behind them. The pair spun around and saw their tall redheaded friend walking towards them in his casual strut. Something about that strut always put Roxas at ease.

"I was just about to text you." Roxas said, smiling up at Axel with the phone in hand.

Axel grinned back, "Yeah, but I heard Xion from a mile away freaking out about State Street."

"I wasn't freaking out," Xion wailed, facepalming into her hand.

Roxas nodded and comforted quietly, "More like mildly enthusiastic."

Axel chuckled, walking in step with them. "Well, either way, Halloween isn't till tomorrow night. Xion, I was going to ask if you wanna go skateboarding at Downing Park-"

"Nope and nope Axel. Not tonight. This night is far too crucial in regards to my costume preparations. You two should come and try them on. I won't have much time to make alterations tomorrow."

Roxas slid his eyes up to Axel, wondering what the older boy wanted to do.

Axel shrugged, "Well, then can I steal Roxas away for a couple hours? We'll stop back at your dorm later with Dem to try on our costumes."

Xion thought about it for a moment, putting a tiny finger against pursed lips. She finally nodded to herself, "Okay, you have fun boys. I'll check you later." She told them cheerfully, waving slightly as she split paths with them.

Roxas smiled softly at Xion's back before turning to trail behind Axel. Axel adjusted his pace so they could walk together, something that Roxas never failed to notice. Axel could easily walk faster than him but he would always wait for the blonds' shorter strides.

"So, skatepark?" Roxas asked, glancing up at Axel from the corner of his eye.

Axel shook his head, "No, I just said that to get Xion out of our hair for a minute. She was about to drag us with her to try on costumes. I have something even better to do."

Axel gave his cocky smirk before gently tugging at Roxas' wrist. Roxas followed him down an ally, where they made a sharp left turn.

Axel smiled to himself after he glanced back at Roxas. Most people would demand to know where they were being taken; Roxas never cared about stuff like that when he trusted the person he was with. Roxas always seemed at peace with the world, as if nothing could ruffle him.

"Now, okay, this is going to sound crazy right? But, you remember a couple nights ago you said you wouldn't mind a lip piercing?"

Roxas rolled his eyes, he didn't recall saying that. He never understood how Axel could remember random conversations.

"Well, I've got a friend who will do it for free. I'm going to get one too." Axel sounded proud of himself.

Roxas blinked slowly before nodding. A little more than two months ago he would have been freaked out about something like getting a facial piercing. But now, "Okay, let's do it."

"But there's a catch!" Axel stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. He seemed to tower of Roxas, but Roxas never found him intimidating.

"We have to get our hair done too."

Roxas gave him a dry look, raising one eyebrow. "_Get our hair done_? What are we, girls?"

Axel gave him a wounded pout, "No, for Halloween. I've been looking up that steampunk stuff that Xion keeps mentioning. It's pretty fun, actually. We are going to get our hair cut a little so we can gel it up and make our costumes perfect!"

Roxas was incredulous as they started walking again, "You really get into this whole Halloween thing, too, don't you?"

Axel nodded sincerely, "State Street on Halloween is a night to remember. It's one of the biggest parties in the entire United States. Plus, I got you a gift."

"What does a gift have to do with State Street?" Roxas retorted, amused, but Axel just kept pulling him along. They stopped outside a large tattoo shop.

Axel peered down at him, "You're really okay with this, right? You can take the piercing out if you totally hate it."

Roxas nodded, "I'm cool with this. Always try new things, right?"

Axel leaned down a few inches, burying slender fingers in blond spikes. Roxas' hair was soft and Axel loved touching it. Axel grinned in response that was shy, adorable, and happy and it made Roxas's mind skirt away.

'_If only I could memorize that expression,_' Roxas thought.

Roxas always saw himself as expressionless. His brother once told him that, and his father. His classmates could never understand why he was the brooding twin, while Sora was so bright and cheerful.

But the smile Roxas gave in return would have blown them away. It was such a heartbreakingly spunky expression, like a challenge, a dare.

Getting a lip piercing hadn't been the only thing. Axel also insisted that Roxas get his right ear pierced. He wouldn't tell Roxas why, so Roxas assumed it had something to do with his 'gift'.

An hour later, after Roxas made Axel hold his hand while the piercer stuck the needle through his lip, both college students looked noticeably different.

Roxas allowed this girl called Aqua to cut his hair; it was shortened in the back, with three lines shaved into his scalp on the left side of his head. His hair at the top could be easily fashioned into a Mohawk. The guy who pierced them, Terra, informed Roxas that ear-cuffs would really finish off the look he was going for. So Roxas did it, not really sure what look he was going for in the first place. His ear was stinging from the fresh holes, and his lip was swollen, but he didn't care.

Axel's hair was trimmed even shorter than Roxas, with only small spikes of red poking half-hazard. Axel had Terra pierce his lip in the exact same place as Roxas, even adding a cuff to his right ear. Roxas was oddly pleased that they now matched.

When they stood outside after their body modifications, Axel fished out a small package from his back pocket and handed it to Roxas. He lit a cigarette, watching Roxas open the envelope.

Inside a fake ID had Roxas' picture on it, saying he was born in 1989; along with a small chain that had two skull cuffs on either end. He looked up at Axel for an explanation.

"The fake is so we can get into State Street and still drink. The chain is for your costume tomorrow night. You attach either end to your piercings. It will look really cool, I promise."

Roxas laughed, holding the ID up against the sunlight to get a proper look, "Did you get a matching chain too?"

Axel nodded sheepishly. He'd been caught, "Yep."

They strolled away from the tattoo shop, both in a very good mood. Roxas was walking with an absent smile on his face. His new piercings made him look older, less innocent, and more assured of himself. His haircut made him look like a punk after band practice and gave him more confidence. Axel couldn't help but stare.

They arrived at Xion's who for her part had a conniption that they both got their hair done for her Halloween costumes. The costumes weren't finished; both boys could only try on the shirts and trousers.

They scrunched in Xion's tiny dorm-cell and took turns trying on what would be their outfits. Roxas' was a little too big in the shirt area and Axel's pants were too short. Xion beamed at both of them, and told them how amazing it would look once she made the modifications and they got the accessories on.

Roxas stared into Xion's small mirror, admiring his new piercings. He touched the cuff on his right ear gently as Xion and Axel bantered in the background. It was like embracing a new identity. An identity that conformed to the person who he was becoming, not the child he'd been. That identity matched his new best friends; these people whom he already couldn't imagine life without.

That night when he got back to his dormroom he asked Demyx to teach him how to play the guitar. Demyx was thrilled to share his passion of music, of course, but he was equally confused.

"What's this all the sudden?" Dem asked, rolling onto his stomach up on his loft-bed and staring down at Roxas.

Roxas rested his chin on his desk, thinking about it for a long moment.

"Well, you and Axel are both in that band. I figured if I learn how to play, we would all have more to talk about. More in common, you know?"

"Yeah, but you already go skateboarding with Axel and we're roommates." Demyx reasoned, "Why need another connection?"

Roxas dropped his face into his hands, trying to ignore the warmth that blazed his cheeks.

"I just want to hang out with you guys more." Roxas finally mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

Demyx stared down at his fish-print pillow, deep in thought. This was about Axel, he was sure of it. Roxas was oddly attached to Axel since the moment he'd met the pyro.

'_I wonder if he likes Axel_,' Demyx wondered, before saying aloud, "Of course I'd love to teach you to play, Roxas. We can start after Halloween. I'll schedule a practice-room in the music building, I think if we try to play in the dorms some of the other kids are gonna kill us for making such a racket."

Roxas gave him a small smile, nodding shortly as he finally climbed into his bed and pulled the comforter around him. Dem reached over and flipped off the lights.

"So tomorrow is State Street." Roxas stated quietly.

"Yep!" Demyx replied sounding wistful. "It's going to be a night you will never forget. Or at least, hopefully remember most of. Halloween is where you can pretend to be the person you always wanted to be. That's why I love it so much. A great big day of make-believe that is acceptable for adults!"

Roxas buried his face in his pillow, trying to ignore the sting from his lip. He sighed absently, a vision of red hair directly beneath his eyelids.

"We'll take lots of pictures, right?" Roxas asked. "I don't have a camera, but I really need some pictures with you guys. We can put them all over the room, cheer this cell up. For the memories." Roxas's voice was laden with nostalgia.

"Of course. Zexion is coming, and he's going to be bringing his camera. He has a nice Nikon; I think he's kind of obsessed with photography. Plus, he doesn't drink so he'll snap good pictures."

Roxas blinked, startled. "You know Zexion?" He had never told his roommate about his quiet bookish friend. It had simply never come up in conversation.

Dem laughed openly, "Of course I know Zexion. We've been friends since like the first week of classes last year. Same math class, he saved my ass in that course. He told me that you guys go to bookstores together? I could see that, you're on the same wavelength. I thought you already knew since that's how Axel met him."

Roxas tried to imagine Demyx and Zexion together, walking side by side. He could only imagine Dem jabbering away, and Zexion glaring at the ground not wanting to speak.

"Zexion is going to dress as death god or something," Demyx mentioned offhandedly.

"To bad Xion couldn't have made him a costume." Roxas replied.

"No, Zexy is pretty self-reliant. He doesn't let other people do the things he knows he can accomplish," Dem explained. "He absolutely hates to ask for help of any kind."

Roxas rolled over to face Demyx again and said truthfully, "I honestly can't imagine you too hanging out."

Demyx's voice was downtrodden, "I know. That's what Axel always says. We are totally different. But I can't help but really like Zexion, he's so smart and funny. He's always himself, and he always dances to his own music. Well, not that he dances but you get the idea."

Roxas blinked, "Really like?"

Dem sighed, _'If this vibe I'm getting is right,_' he thought. He figured Roxas was a good person anyway, even if he wasn't totally right about this hunch he knew that his roommate wouldn't hate him for it.

"Roxas, I'm not sure if you caught this fact yet, but I'm gay." Demyx informed him matter-of-factly.

Silence.

"Not gay for you of course, haha! I like Zexion, he's my secret crush." Demyx added.

Roxas sat straight up, nearly plowing his head into the ceiling in startled surprise. Demyx flipped the lights back on, staring at his roommate cautiously. He really hoped Roxas wasn't upset.

But on the contrary, Roxas seemed fascinated.

"You are?" He asked. He didn't sound disgusted at all.

Demyx nodded, "I was plenty out in high school, got a lot of shit for it. Got beat up more times than I can count, one of the reasons I went to a liberal school like Madison. Don't have to worry about homo-haters here in Mad-town."

Roxas nodded, twiddling his fingers nervously, "Okay, so you like Zexion. What are you going to do about it?"

Demyx's head dropped to his pillow, "Nothing. Zexion isn't gay. Or at least, if he is he's really good at hiding it."

"How do you know?" Roxas was skeptical.

Demyx gave him a wry look, "Are you serious? My gay-dar of course."

Roxas chuckled nervously; Demyx could tell there was something on his mind.

"…Most of my friends are gay, actually," Demyx continued, hinting heavily as he leaned his weight forward on his blankets.

"…Most?" Demyx rolled his eyes at the sound of blatant _hope_ in Roxas' tone.

"Yeah. Like Xigbar, and Markle. Axel too." Demyx tried to feign nonchalance though his tone was careful and controlled. He didn't want to expose his excitement at the look that flashed across Roxas's face.

Roxas stared at the wall past Dem's head. He seemed to be absorbing this information though he looked anxious.

"Has Axel…" Roxas started, "had boyfriends before?"

"Yep, he dated this guy last year for a little while. They broke it off cause the guy said Axel only cared about the band and school. He didn't like how much Axel partied, bit of a prat really."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Well, it meant that Axel didn't have much time to hang out. Axel said that his next lover should at least have similar hobbies to him."

The blond was silent.

Demyx finally relented, "Roxas, can I ask you something?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you… like Axel?"

Roxas's mouth dropped, he couldn't stop the startled squeak. The answer was already written all over his face, a deep blush staining his cheeks.

"Um, he's my friend. Axel doesn't like me like that!" Roxas insisted.

The musician didn't know anyone could be so naive, "Roxas, Axel didn't hang out with his ex as much as you. He even paid for you to get piercings and a haircut, _and_ bought you a fake ID for Halloween."

"But Axel said those piercings were free."

The dry look Demyx gave him made Roxas aware of how gullible he was. Of course Axel paid for them; he just hadn't said anything. But why would he do that? That must have been expensive. So, what was Demyx implying?

Roxas peered at his roommate, the words forming on his lips. "What are you saying?"

Demyx smiled at him while he reached over to flip off the lights.

"Figure it out, Roxas. You're a clever boy."


	2. Away from home one needs feel no shame

Liberated

Part II. _Away from home, one needs feel no shame._

By DXMJUNKIE

XXX

They hadn't been joking. Madison was packed for Halloween. The streets around the Capital buildings were absolutely covered in people; each wearing costumes that got weirder and weirder.

Roxas was staring at them from the roof of Axel's house, nursing his weak Mojito that Larxene had made. Axel was downstairs in his room, Xion fitting him into his costume.

Roxas could hear the sounds of people chatting; it wasn't quiet up on the roof like normal. The houses next to Axel's had people on every balcony, there were no parking spaces left on West Mifflin.

"Roxas!" Xion's voice floated up to him. He quickly finished his drink before sliding down the roof, popping back into Axel's room with forced grace.

He nearly tripped when he got down because Axel was staring at him anxiously.

Axel had put these strange cog-like earrings in that were slightly gauged. He didn't have his chain on yet. His eyes were decked out in red eyeshadow, his lids outlined in liquid eyeliner. His hair was styled up into a Mohawk, with glitter shimmering from the end of spiked locks. Axel's clothes were tight; pinstripe black slacks that Roxas had already seen and an off-white button-up shirt. Over his chest was a large metal plate that was intricately designed. It went over his shoulder and down his back, looping under his left arm. It looked mechanical, rugged, old school. He had large boots on that made him even taller. Even the boots were decked out with clock-gears. Several elaborate keys on a chain around his neck and a large plastic silver gun completed the look.

Roxas thought he looked incredibly handsome.

"How do I look?" Axel asked, sounding a little unsure.

"Awesome!" Roxas replied enthusiastically, smiling up at him with a slight red-tint to his cheeks.

Axel looked pleased as he turned to the door, "I'm gonna go show Larxene while you put your outfit on. Beautify him, my dear Xion!"

He waved gaily, closing the door behind him. Xion giggled, "God, he wouldn't shut up about you."

Roxas snapped his eyes to matching blue. The words Demyx had said the night before still echoing loudly in his mind, "What do you mean?" 

"Well you got those piercings together so he kept saying how stoked he was that you were going to match, and how your costumes were going to be the best in town tonight." Xion explained, handing Roxas a pair of trousers.

Roxas shimmied out of his pants, not shy around Xion in just his boxers and T-shirt. He slid the black trousers on as Xion handed him a belt. The belt was black leather and looked old. It had silver painted designs all along with a brass buckle. That buckle was fashioned into a key that almost looked like a blade. Roxas slid the belt through the loops of his pants before throwing his shirt off.

After putting on the white shirt of his costume, Xion told him to sit down. She began to pour product into her hands before sifting small fingers into Roxas' hair. She made his Mohawk tilt to one side so that the lines cut into his hair stood out. She handed him a set of earrings and a silver lip-ring.

"Where did you get these?" Roxas asked, looking at the jewelry in his hand.

"I made the one that's going in your ear, Axel had an extra cuff lying around, and I got you the silver lip-ring at Hot Topic." She told him, her back to him as she fiddled with a large metal plate on Axel's bed.

Roxas put the earrings in, "I'll pay you back for the lip ring-"

"Pssh," Xion dismissed him quickly with a wave of her hand. Roxas was embarrassed. He'd been receiving so many gifts recently and it wasn't even close to his birthday.

Roxas reached down into his discarded jeans and pulled out the chain Axel had bought him. He attached either end to his lip and ear, the chain resting against his cheek. He felt very rebellious all the sudden, and glanced in the mirror. He didn't look like himself, he thought.

Xion started to apply make-up, giving Roxas deep lavender eyeshadow. She smeared glitter across his lids after applying the liquid eyeliner. She used mascara on his lashes, taking a weird metal thing and curling them. Xion practically forced the youth to put on lip-gloss (Roxas thought lip-gloss was a little extreme). She then began to fit him with the metal plate, taking belts and fastening them tight behind his back. The plate made it hard for Roxas to move his arm, and it felt heavy, but it was a beautiful piece of art. Xion had painstakingly carved a swirly-motif into the metal, and glued jewels across the shield. She threw Roxas thick black gloves that reached to his elbows, before handing him several bracelets, which he slipped over thin wrists.

To finish off his look she gave his hair a spray of glitter and tied a tight black ribbon around his neck. She handed him a pair of goggles, and motioned for him to put them on his head. Xion finally stepped back and told Roxas to stand up, so she could admire her handiwork.

"Wow," she breathed, "You look epic, Roxas. Those pants make your butt look adorable."

Roxas rolled his eyes, glancing with speculation at his reflection. He did look good, he figured, not_ adorable_, but attractive enough. He looked like he had just jumped out of another era.

"You did an amazing job on the costume," Roxas murmured at Xion, smiling shyly at her through his thick eyelashes.

"Only great models really pull off great clothes." Xion informed in happily, humming to herself.

A quick knock on the door had Roxas's heart pounding. He wondered if Axel would think he was attractive. Demyx appeared in the room, grinning happily.

"Hey, Xion. Wow! Roxas, you look great!" The musician said enthusiastically, motioning for Roxas to twirl around.

"Now we just have to get you all ready Dem. Then I can finally put on my costume." Xion told him, she was already rifling through a large duffle bag and pulling out clothes.

"When is Zexion getting here?" Roxas asked his roommate.

Dem shook his head, "No idea. He works till eight-thirty, which'll give him about a half-hour to get his costume ready. He has his camera and stuff with him, so ETA nine-ish."

Roxas nodded, walking to the door, "Well, I'm going to… go get another drink."

Demyx gave him a wry look, "I see."

Roxas closed the door behind him, leaving a silent room in wake. Demyx glanced over at Xion, she met his gaze with a distinctly raised eyebrow. They both broke into smiles after a long beat.

"Twenty bucks says Roxas confesses to Axel tonight." Xion told him, trying to act nonchalant.

She had known since Roxas had first met Axel that her friend was crushing on the redhead hard. She knew that Roxas wasn't the sort to ever really say such things aloud, but it wasn't hard to tell what with the way the blond always trailed after Axel like a lost puppy.

Demyx gave her a long look before answering, "Thirty says Axel confesses to him first. He's way louder about his feeling than Roxas after all."

They sternly shook hands, starting to gossip about their friends as they put on Dem's costume.

There were probably about fifteen people in Axel's house that night. Less people than normal because they were just pre-gaming; all intended to go to State Street as it got later. Mostly students were mingling upstairs, caught in between smoking ciggs on the front lawn and taking random shots of Baileys.

Axel was easy to spot, he was taller in the boots and his hair was shining under the overhead light. He was casually talking with Larxene, who kept poking him in his armor. Larxene was wearing a Judy Jetson costume from the old TV show (not that Roxas knew who that was). Her hair was pulled back and she had more makeup on than normal.

"You better-" She was saying, before she spotted Roxas. "Roxas! Wow kid, you clean up real nice."

Roxas walked up to the pair, looking a little nervous. He wasn't used to wearing such tight clothes, and he felt self-conscious about his new piercings. Roxas saw the glimmer of Axel's own chain- he must have put it on after leaving his room. Axel reached his hand out, gently tapping Roxas's hair before frowning.

"I think I prefer normal-Roxy hair. It's much softer." The boy intoned.

Roxas finally grinned, "How do I look besides that?"

"Incredibly attractive," Axel answered honestly. Larxene was smirking down at them before she suddenly grabbed Roxas' wrist.

"Lets get this little steampunk something yummy to drink!" She cheered, forcefully pulling Roxas away from Axel. Roxas looked up at Axel helplessly, and he rolled his eyes and gave a weak smile in return.

Something about the way Axel was looking at him made hot liquid pool in his stomach. Axel's green eyes weren't leaving Roxas; they bore into the back of his head.

Larxene pulled him down the steps into the basement. The basement was empty with neither the strobe light nor the smoke machine on. It made the space look completely different, more run-down and dingy.

Larxene slid under the bar, "Did you like that Mojito?"

"Um, I guess. A little bitter." He told her, shifting the heavy arm-plate back into place. He sighed, twiddling his fingers absentmindedly. Larxene hummed quietly in response.

"Are you going to ask Axel out tonight?" Larxene said in a completely casual way. She continued to pour liquor into the mixing cup, adding a dash of sugar.

Roxas was silent, staring up at her with an unfathomable expression on his face. He was obviously not used to direct confrontations. Larxene pushed the finished drink across the bar, leaning down so she was at eye-level. She laced her fingers together and gave him a thoughtful expression.

"Go for it," she told him with an honest smile. It was strange on her normally glaring and sarcastic face.

"Why does everyone suddenly think I'm a homo?" Roxas asked softly, not reaching for the drink. "First Dem, now you."

Larxene rolled her eyes, "Kid, it's not that we think you're a homo. Hell- Demyx **is** homo, flamboyant and shit. We can just tell that you like Axel."

"How?"

"Can we tell?" Larxene finished for him.

Roxas nodded. Larxene put a finger to her lip, "Well maybe it's the way you look at him. It's like your stripping the guy naked with your gaze."

Roxas promptly blushed, mouth wide open, "I do not!"

"Oh yeah, you don't." Larxene said sarcastically. "And you totally don't trail after him like a baby chick, chirping when you get some attention."

Roxas's face was still bright red; he finally grabbed the drink and began to take heavy sips. He felt the liquid confidence go down his throat, it made him more confident. Larxene always mixed amazing drinks, they were never strong.

Roxas slammed the drink down on the table, much to Larxene's surprise. The boy began to talk quickly, which was very out of character.

"Okay, hypothetically speaking, if I _was_ to confess to Axel; what do you think he would do?" Roxas blurted out, glad they were in the basement far away from prying ears.

Larxene smiled again before sliding back under the bar. She clapped him on the shoulder, "Kid, I've known Axel almost my whole fucking life. We were in the same high school, elementary school, preschool y'know, that sort of shit. Judging from how I know that kid… and judging by what you said…"

Roxas was on edge waiting for the response. Larxene could tell, so she let herself draw out her words.

"I would say… go for it…. BUT- you need to go invest in some lube, and quick, cause you'll need it if you confess."

Roxas blinked and echoed, "Lube?"

"Cause judging by the way Axel stares at your ass, he's gonna wanna tear off your clothes like they offended him and fuck you till you can't stand up."

The blush on Roxas's face returned with a vengeance. He was gaping at her in disbelief. Larxene grinned cheekily, that was the perfect reaction she had been waiting for.

"You're just messing with me." Roxas sounded disappointed, though he was still bright red.

"No, I'm actually not. That is exactly what he would do." Larxene finished, turning around and heading up the stairs without another glance.

Roxas blinked and stared down at his half-finished drink on the bar. He was beginning to feel tipsy; his tolerance was still pretty low.

The words that Larxene said were whirling around his head, making him dizzy. So not only did Dem seem to think that Axel might like him back, but Larxene too. The people closest to Axel were both giving him the proverbial thumbs-up.

This brought little comfort.

Roxas had only dated one person in his whole life; a girl named Namine from his hometown. It had been very innocent dating; holding hands after school and catching dinner at the family diner. They had kissed a couple dozen times, and had broken up when Roxas decided to go away to college. Roxas was, of course, a virgin. And he was pretty sure he was a heterosexual.

But he couldn't deny his attraction to Axel. Until Demyx had brought up the whole gay thing, he hadn't even thought much on it. Now that he did, he _was _attracted to Axel, both physically and mentally. He was drawn to Axel like a magnet. To his laugh and his sense of humor and his fucking sexy green eyes-

"Roxas?" Axel's voice broke him from his reverie; he was standing on the last step of the stairs. Roxas gave Axel a strangled expression, like he had just gotten caught stealing candy from the gas station.

"Hey," Roxas said shortly, shuffling his feet.

Axel's eyebrows creased, "You okay?"

Roxas nodded too quickly, too enthusiastically, "Um, yeah! Totally!"

Axel gave him a doubtful glance, but accepted the lie notwithstanding. "You wanna come back upstairs? Both Dem and Xion have their costumes on. Zexion won't be ready to go for another twenty minutes, so I was thinking we could go smoke on the roof before we leave."

Roxas hoped that Axel couldn't hear his heart racing, it was so loud in his own ears, "Yeah, sure, of course."

He trailed up behind Axel, pointedly keeping his gaze from the redheads butt. They went back to Axel's room, which was surprisingly empty.

"Xion is helping with Zexion's closet in Larxene's room, cause she has a full mirror." Axel explained, grabbing his cough drop tin and shimmying his window open.

As they headed up the roof, Roxas couldn't help but sneak a glance at Axel's ass. Oh, it did look wonderful in those pinstripe slacks. '_So,'_ Roxas bit his lip, _'Sexy…'_

They sat down on the chairs and took turns pointing out people on the streets. It was twilight, the sun still just above the horizon. The streets were getting louder, the balcony parties rowdier. Roxas felt like Madison was alive that night, glowing. The pound of feet of pavement was oddly comforting to Roxas.

Axel crossed his legs awkwardly; the metal plate was hard to sit in because it pressed against his sternum. He began packing his pipe slowly, humming to himself. The sun was casting an ethereal glow around his hair, making his eyes stand out. Roxas couldn't help but be drawn to this person, and it made his stomach drop and liquid heat pool deep in him.

"Axel, can I ask you something?" Roxas finally asked, taking the pipe. Axel held the lighter out, cupping his hand around it as Roxas inhaled deeply. Roxas coughed for a minute, his throat still wasn't used to the harsh taste.

"Yeah, ask away buddy." Axel's tone was friendly.

Roxas bit his lip again. He wasn't sure how to bring this up. He had never done something like this before, and he wasn't sure if Larxene and Demyx had just been messing with him. He wondered if they told him to go for it and Axel was actually straight. He didn't want to jeopardize his relationship with the redhead.

"Um, so…" Roxas murmured, trying to collect his thoughts. Axel noticed this expression and was confused by it.

"Are you okay Roxas? You've been acting strange. Are you worried about going out onto State Street? You know that the cops won't mess with you, you have that ID-"

"It's not that," Roxas intoned, "It's about you."

"About me?" That had Axel's eyebrows raised. The boy leaned over, closer to Roxas.

"What about me?" He asked softly.

"Um, well… so Demyx was telling me the other night that he was gay."

Axel nodded slowly. He now understood where this conversation was going. Demyx had probably told Roxas he was gay, and Roxas was trying to not freak out about this new revelation.

"He said… that he had a bunch of gay friends." Roxas continued, the words choking his throat. He felt extremely embarrassed.

"And your wondering if I'm gay?" Axel asked, just as softly. Roxas nodded quickly, playing with the metal plate on his chest.

"Well, the answer would be yes." Axel said flatly, "I've had a couple girlfriends, but last year I realized that I don't swing that way. I just couldn't fall in love with them like I should. I guess I didn't tell you cause I thought you would think that was awkward. You won't… hate me for it, right?"

Roxas locked eyes with him, "Of course not!"

Axel let out an uneasy smile, "Okay, good."

"Um, so…" Roxas trailed off again looking down at his hands.

Axel was silent too; he packed the pipe for himself taking a quick hit. He was glad that Roxas wasn't mad at him, but the silence unnerved him. He didn't want to talk about him being gay, because he felt like Roxas would ask him if he liked anyone. And Axel didn't want to make the kid run for dear life.

"So… do you have anyone you like?"

'_Damn,'_ Axel thought. Before murmuring honestly, "Yes, I do."

Roxas looked at him again, his expression pleading for more information.

"… he's a friend of mine." Axel all but whispered.

"Is it Demyx?" Roxas asked, not really wanting the answer.

"Haha, what? No way! Dem is like obsessed with Zexion, and he's too damn talkative for his own good. Too hyper."

"So you don't like talkative people?" Roxas quipped.

"Well, not particularly." Axel thought about this for a moment, before casually saying, "It's not that I have a type per say, it's really about the person as a whole that I like." 

Roxas nodded, that made sense. "So what is this guy like?"

Axel groaned, scratching his hands through gelled hair. He looked nervous, which was an expression Roxas rarely saw him wear.

"Well, he's… quiet. Thoughtful. Perceptive and kind. We have so much in common and…" Axel trailed off. Roxas blinked. He knew his mind was jumping to conclusions, but a fearful hope was welling in his chest. He really wasn't any of those things, but what if… it was him?

Roxas looked up at Axel anxiously. It didn't look like his older friend was going to say anything else, so he cleared his throat. He had to say something before he exploded. He was usually an expert at keeping his emotions in check, but he felt out of control right now. And oddly brave.

"The person I like is also a guy." Roxas said firmly. Axel let out an exhalation of air he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Oh?" He tried to be nonchalant.

"Yeah. He's… vibrant, and outgoing. And so beautiful," Roxas continued, trying not to meet Axel's gaze. His cheeks were burning.

Axel gulped again, leaning forward, his knee nearly brushing Roxas's thigh. Axel's brain felt fuzzy.

"Yeah?" Axel asked.

Roxas finally met his gaze, and it was like the green eyes were piercing into him. Axel was looking at him with an expression that Roxas couldn't fathom. It was like scalding embers, a deep quiet passion.

Axel saw how scared Roxas looked, but the smaller boy refused to take his eyes off Axel. Roxas looked so perfect in the light, Axel thought. He looked so adorable in his costume. Axel decided it was time to take a gamble.

"Hey Roxas?"

Roxas didn't answer.

"I… well, kid…" Axel hesitated, "I _really _like you. Not in the same way as you like friends, you know? I didn't want to… or rather, I wasn't planning on saying anything… But, I guess I just thought you should know."

Roxas felt his nerves pop; his pulse was thrumming. The words made Roxas feel so wonderful; it made him feel so complete. Axel was waiting patiently for his answer, so Roxas gave it.

Roxas reached out his hand and blinded grabbed Axel's, before giving him the most heartbreakingly happy grin Axel had ever seen the boy wear. His eyes were shining, and he squeezed his fingers tightly. Roxas looked excited, thrilled, and above all… these emotions were aimed directly at Axel.

"I'm the same." Roxas said with conviction.

Axel gaped at him, disbelieving. He shook his head, leaning forward and tapping their foreheads together. Was this really happening?

Axel brought his other hand up to rest on Roxas's cheek, his pinkie finger playing idly with the chain attached to his piercings.

"Roxas, will you go out with me?" Axel asked, his tone pleading. Roxas nodded helplessly, there was no possible way he would say no.

This was probably foolish, Roxas thought. He had only known Axel for two months. They were both men, his family and friends back home would freak the fuck out if they found out. But he didn't care, oddly enough. Because knowing that Axel was his, in any figure of the word… it was astounding.

"Yes," Roxas breathed.

And suddenly Axel was kissing him. His lips were molding against Roxas', and he quickly dove his tongue into the blonde's mouth. Roxas let him pass, trying to mimic the actions. Axel was exploring his mouth with wild abandon, stealing his breathe from him. Namine had never kissed him this deeply, Roxas thought, his eyes fluttering shut.

The kiss ended to gently, Axel finally separating from him. Roxas didn't want that, so he practically stood up and grabbed Axel's face, smashing their lips together again aggressively. He could feel their lip rings clink between teeth.

Axel groaned happily, quickly chucking his cough drop tin back on the ground before spooning his arms around Roxas' trim waist. Roxas was leaning down on his chair, his knee between Axel's thighs.

They kissed for another moment, hard and fast.

"Roxas! Axel! HURRY THE FUCK UP!" Xion voice drifted to the roof, startling them to separate.

Axel looked down at him; he had a silly grin on his face. Roxas couldn't help but mirror that smile, he felt elated. Axel reached over, hugging Roxas to him tightly, kissing his head. Roxas reached his hands up, tapping the metal-plate on his chest.

"Should we tell the guys? Do you mind?" Axel asked him, looking down.

"Well, both Demyx and Larxene were telling me to go for it," Roxas murmured back. "And they are our best friends. It's only right we tell them."

Axel looked surprised, "They told you I like you?"

"Um, no, but they all figured out that I like you." Roxas said shyly, ducking his head down.

Axel grabbed his hand, bringing it up to his lips so he could kiss it. Roxas was watching him with half-lidded eyes. Axel groaned again, that expression on the blonde's face was so erotic.

"Let's go have a night we will never forget," Axel told him earnestly, leaning in for a peck.

They shimmied back down to his room, which was oddly empty. Axel twirled around once Roxas was standing, kissing him quickly before grabbing his hand. Axel snatched his wallet off his desk and they went downstairs together.

Zexion, Demyx, Xion, and Larxene were sitting in the living room. The house was empty besides them. They could hear the sounds of the crowd outside.

Zexion was wearing tight back clothes, with dramatic white makeup on. He had skull chains and belts wrapped down his torso and arms. He had his hair styled so people could see both his eyes, which was odd since he never did that. His eyes stood out, piercing and calm.

Xion had a long brown dress on with an apron that was beaded. It was tied back with a bow. She had this strange hat on her head made of clock-gears and keys. Her necklace, handmade, was intricate and looked heavy. She had fishnet stockings on, and black trench-boots that came up to her knees. Her hair was glittered, and her eyeshadow was the same color as Roxas.

Demyx was shirtless, but with a full metal plate on both sides of his body, attached with leather. His pants were white, with a shimmery fabric. Xion had decked him out in hemp and beads, there were feathers attached to his hair. Demyx had this weird instrument-looking thing strapped around his waist tightly. It dangled against his hip. He had all his piercings in, and looked the very hippie-ish.

Demyx whistled loudly when they came into view, motioning to the couples joined hands. Axel gave him a comforting squeeze.

"Well, well, well! What have we here?" Larxene added. Zexion was staring at them with an odd expression.

Axel grinned like a maniac who just got something he'd always desired, "We're dating!"

Roxas listened to his friends cheer for him, and he felt oddly embarrassed. It was a nice kind of embarrassment though, the kind where you know that your friends will accept you no matter what.

"Yes! I knew it!" Xion was shouting slightly startling the pair.

"So who asked whom out?" Demyx probed.

"Um," Roxas said, "Axel did."

"YES!" Demyx cheered, standing up so abruptly that he nearly knocked over the coffee table. Zexion was staring up at him, Xion looking disappointed.

"You owe me thirty bucks!" Demyx cried, holding out his empty hand to Xion.

Xion cussed, reaching into her purse that was slung around her shoulder while fishing out her wallet and passing the bills over to Demyx.

Axel was rolling his eyes, "You bet on us?" 

Xion nodded sadly, "We knew one of you would crack soon. We figured tonight."

"Yeah, there was so much sexual tension between you two you could spark a fire." Larxene informed them.

Roxas blushed brightly; Axel gave her a stern look. Larxene gave him a cocky smile, her straight teeth showing.

"I'm happy for your guys," Zexion said quietly. Demyx was looking at him, obviously filing Zexion's reaction away.

Roxas nodded, trying to change the subject, "Well, it's already almost ten. We should head to State Street."

"Haha, says the one who didn't even drink before two months ago," Demyx replied. Zexion grabbed his camera, and the group began filing out the house.

It was dark outside now; every person was in costume. There had to be hundreds on the street, they weren't even bothering with the sidewalk. Roxas didn't recognize many of the costumes, but some were very intricate.

A group of girls came bounding up to them from the opposite direction.

"Oohh," they were slurring, "Steampunk! Can we get a picture?"

Axel nodded, pulling his arm around Roxas as the group got their picture taken. Zexion had shied away behind Demyx; apparently he didn't like people taking his photo. Demyx grinned down at his quiet friend; it was obvious to anyone watching that Demyx only had eyes for Zexion.

They began to walk the several blocks to State Street, buying their tickets at the front gate. The groups began showing their ID's, and were given wristbands. Only Zexion didn't receive a wristband; he didn't drink. He was clutching his camera tightly to his body instead.

Roxas was surprised that they hadn't questioned his ID at all. They had merely glanced at it.

Axel was clutching Roxas's hand tightly, weaving them through the crowds. Zexion took a quick picture of them under the Orpheum, Roxas had a blindingly happy expression on his face. Xion was already complaining about how high her boots were, and how her feet were going to kill her later.

Axel lead them to a dingy basement bar, it was packed inside and hard to walk around. They managed to find a booth in the back corner and quickly ordered the first round of drinks.

"To Roxas and Axel and their new relationship!" Demyx toasted, (he had paid for the round using Xion's money).

"To our wild and crazy adventures!" Axel replied.

"To my awesome costumes!" Xion added.

"To sex, drugs, and rock n' roll!" Larxene shouted.

"And to being the best group of friends on State Street!" Roxas finished.

The group clinked their glasses together enthusiastically. Zexion was smirking to himself, clicking a picture. Roxas saw Zexion point his camera at Demyx and snap a quick shot of the musician.

"I'm not going to babysit you guys," Zexion told them seriously as he put the cap on his lens. Dem laughed, shaking his head.

"We wouldn't make you do that." He told Zexion earnestly, ruffling the bookworm's hair. Zexion gave a tentative smile in return.

They began to chitchat about stuff, but Roxas wasn't really paying attention to what they were talking about. He was only aware of Axel, of his large hand, a little sweaty. His fingers were long and slender and fit perfectly into Roxas's. Roxas felt warm, not just from the liquor, but because his whole body was proverbially on fire. Every nerve ending on his body felt alive, sparking him.

Roxas was getting tipsy as they left that bar; the group began wandering up and down on State Street. They stopped at another bar for a round before Demyx eventually herded the group, pulling them towards the capital. He had Zexion's arm in a tight grasp.

"C'mon, hurry up! Cloud Cult is playing in ten minutes!" Demyx told them, walking swiftly in the direction of the giant stages set up in front of the capital.

It was getting much cooler out, but Roxas felt sticky from all the body heat. The crowd was innumerable, Roxas was afraid if he let go of Axel's hand he would lose the man. Axel had his other hand around Larxene's wrist; she was trying to shove a person's costume-wings away from her face.

Xion was tight against Roxas' back, her hands grasping loosely at his shirt. The crowd was a lot taller than the two; Zexion also seemed to be struggling with the crowd, he was clutching Demyx's bare arm tightly with both hands. Roxas felt a little dizzy, so he leaned heavily on Axel's arm. Axel was watching the stage anxiously; Roxas knew he loved the band that was going to play too.

The band got on stage, a group of musicians with numerous instruments. Roxas could see a trumpet, a harp, and a keyboard among others. Demyx was pushing them closer to the stage. Roxas could see the bands faces. Two large blank canvases were set up on either end of the stage. A table of paints was set next to it.

"Are they going to paint during the show?" Roxas asked Axel loudly, trying to get his soft voice over the noise.

"Yeah!" Axel responded enthusiastically. "This band always has two artists from the group paint pictures during the show. At the end they auction them away and give the profits to charities. This group is from Minnesota, but they have a lot of hard-core fans in Wisconsin."

Roxas nodded, watching the group warm up without being connected to amps. The lead singer wasn't very attractive, but he looked friendly and was chatting with the pianist. They looked like any other group of friends, except they were on a giant stage in front of a hoard of people.

Suddenly, the crowd roared, the noise emanating deep into Roxas. The first few chords began to echo across the crowd, and suddenly there was an explosion on stage. Huge streams of confetti shot into the crowd who screamed back so loudly Roxas though his eardrums would burst.

And they began playing,

_"Today is a good day to flex the muscles of the weary,_

_A miracles a miracle even if it's ordinary_

_We will walk on the water even though is seems scary-_

_If someone will show us the way, show us the way-"_

Guitars began pounding chords, the band was laughing as they aggressively jumped up and down. Axel had his hands in the air as he screamed along with the music. Demyx was freaking out, hollering loudly, even Zexion was bobbing his head in time with the music. Xion was brushing confetti out of her hair, grinning happily. Larxene had her eyes glued on the paintings, Roxas could only glance at them when someone ducked (he was too short) but they looked like a mass of colors with no purpose.

"_I shook heals with the man who honestly thinks-_

_He's the grandson of Jesus, with a penchant for pinchies-_

_He served us communion of Cola and Twinkies-_

_Guess everyone's has their own view-"_

Roxas didn't know the lyrics to the song, but the melody was upbeat so he tried to pay attention to the words. This ended up working for him since he was just listening to Axel sing the lyrics instead of the band. Axel's voice was far more attractive.

"_He stood on his soapbox and told us a parable-_

_Of a man with eyeglasses so small they're unwearable-_

_And the moral of the story is it all looks terrible-_

_Depending on what you look through-_

_What you look through-"_

Xion grabbed Roxas's arm and they were soon jumping together. The mass of people were all bouncing in unison, it was loud and rowdy and overwhelming. Roxas had never been to a live concert (aside from watching Axel and his band play that one time), but this was something he had never known existed.

All Roxas knew were the people and the music and the confetti flying around them. He vaguely was watching the reflections of lights on surrounding buildings as he jumped. He was clutching both Xion and Axel's hands tightly. Axel was screaming at the top of his lungs.

"_He said do unto yourself as you'd do unto your neighbor-_

_It's not an eye for an eye; it's a favor for a favor-_

_And it's okay if this world had a billion saviors-_

_Cause there's so many things to be saved-_

_Take my worlds with a boulder of salt-_

_Or blame it on your devil always the scapegoats fault-_

_We're all pointing fingers when it comes to a halt-_

_Could somebody show us the way? Show us the way!"_

Roxas was moving with every beat of the music, he was dancing even though he didn't know how to dance. And the best thing was that he was completely anonymous, nobody was paying attention to him. He didn't have to impress anyone, or project an image.

He felt free to do whatever he wanted, he felt like he could grab Axel and kiss him and never stop and the crowd would just keep rocking to the music. Demyx was throwing his head back in wild abandon, an expression of pure bliss on his face. Zexion was alternately snapping pictures of the stage and of Dem, who didn't seem to notice he was so enthralled with the music.

"I want to see the paintings!" Roxas shouted at Axel. He could only see them if he jumped up really high.

The redhead reached down and picked Roxas up awkwardly, their metal plates were bulky, but he was able to get his view above the crowd for a few ticks. The painting on the left looked like woods, only the kind of woods you would see after an LSD trip. The other was of an old woman who looked misshapen and sad. Axel dropped Roxas back to his feet, smiling down at him.

The song ended, the audience vigorously expressing its approval. The head singer said something over the microphone; Roxas wasn't listening because Axel had leaned down next to his ear. His lips lightly brushed Roxas' ear cuff.

"I'm so glad I could be here with you tonight," Axel told him. Roxas laughed openly, nodding, he understood that feeling exactly.

The next song soon began; it was a lull of violins singing against the wind. The crowd began dancing again, and Roxas was enthusiastically copying them. The band played a handful of other songs, none of which Roxas had heard off, but all of which both Demyx and Axel knew by heart.

As the band was ending their performance Axel pulled Roxas away from the stage, Xion trailing behind. Demyx, Larxene and Zexion had decided to stay behind. Roxas wondered how they would find each other later, but he didn't mind following Axel's lead.

His ears were ringing as the crowd thinned; Axel pulled them towards a staircase. They walked up a few steps before Axel pointed back at the stage. He was peering down at them, his lip ring shining under the streetlight.

"Now you can see the finished paintings- plus, it's gonna be hell to try and get out of that crowd after the show ends." He explained.

Roxas squinted his eyes, he could see the paintings vaguely. The one on the left was his favorite. The artist had made the forest a deep aqua with a translucent background. It reminded him the sunsets from back home with the ocean sparkling. Roxas could see that sunset when he closed it eyes. It was nostalgic.

Xion fished her phone out of her purse, flipping it open.

"I'm going to text Dem, tell them to meet us at the Great Dane." She told them, her fingers rapidly typing the message out.

They walked back down the stairs, heading away from the capitol. Roxas heard the crowd roar from behind him, the band must have finished. Roxas saw a digital clock on a building; it was only eleven thirty.

State Street was at its peak as they weaved through the crowds. People were talking, dancing, taking pictures, and drinking. Every age group and ethnicity was represented. It made Roxas feel safe. He knew that there had to be other gays running around Madison, so his relationship with Axel probably wasn't that out of place.

Roxas amused himself by people watching, some of the costumes people wore were crazy. People were all oddly cheerful, talking openly with complete strangers.

Xion saw a group of her fashion design friends and waved them over. The group of girls began squealing over each other's outfits, asking how they had sewn them and what fabric they used. Xion glanced back at them for a moment before smiling.

"Roxas, Axel, why don't you guys head to the Great Dane? I'll meet you there in ten," she told them. Xion realized that they probably wanted a little alone time (as much alone time as you can get during Halloween). She winked up at Axel.

Axel smirked at her in return waving at the girls before pulling Roxas away.

"Are you having fun?" Axel asked him casually.

"Yes, so much fun. That band was really awesome, what was the name? Cloud Cult? Such a different kind of music." Roxas explained.

Axel pulled him down a street and they sat down on an open bench. A group of Harry Potter characters were jigging to Irish music that filtered from an open window. Roxas leaned closely to Axel, taking his hand again and twining their fingers. It felt weird to initiate contact like this, but Roxas was sure he could get used to it.

Axel rubbed the blondes back absently with his free hand; he was also blankly watching the crowds.

"I liked watching _you_ sing more than the band." Roxas told him after a few beats of silence.

Axel gave him a confused look, "What?"

"I was trying to listen to the lyrics, so I just listened to you singing instead."

Axel looked sheepish, "I wasn't really trying to sing well, I was pretty much just screaming."

"You an expert screamer then," Roxas complimented him.

Axel leaned down, brushing his lips against the chain on Roxas' cheek. Axel's fingers were curled around his hip. Roxas lifted his face, their dry lips brushing gently.

Roxas was normally the type to be incredibly embarrassed by PDA, but that night nobody was paying them any attention, until-

"Oh my god. That was so fucking cute!" A redheaded girl with curly hair was bouncing up to them with a camera in hand. She was dressed as a pirate.

Her cheeks were flushed, but she looked steady enough, "Hey, cute steampunks, can you kiss again so I can snap a picture?"

Roxas blushed deeply and suddenly felt ashamed. He shouldn't be embarrassed about kissing Axel in public and he shouldn't care what other people thought of him. But what if this girl thought he was gross? What if she was watching them like a person watches a sideshow freak? Axel felt Roxas tense against him.

Axel frowned at her, "That's a little rude you know," he informed the girl.

The girl blinked, she obviously hadn't thought of that. "Yeah, I guess, but I'm not doing it to be malicious. I'm doing it because you an adorable couple wearing matching costumes! Besides, I'm a lesbian! My girlfriends over there-" she motioned to a slender brunette that was standing quietly next to a tree. "And she wanted the picture but was too embarrassed to ask."

Roxas finally cracked a smile; this girl obviously didn't mean any harm. He stood up, smirking down at Axel. What did it matter if a stranger got a picture of him and his _boyfriend_?

"Might as well make it steamy, right?" Roxas said, uncharacteristically snarky. That tone of voice matched his appearance perfectly. Axel looked both startled and thrilled; he quickly stood up, leaning over Roxas suggestively.

They kissed again, this time with teeth and tongue and desperation. Roxas toyed with Axel's lip ring, Axel grinning as they kissed. The feel of Axel's lips on his was like a shock to his spine. It was new and thrilling and something Roxas never thought he would desire. But he did, desperately, unheedingly. The pair barely noticed when the girl's camera flashed.

They pulled apart, both bursting out into laughter at their blatant making out. The girl was smiling at them.

"You are an adorable couple!" she said, waving before walking away. Her girlfriend was blushing deeply, something both Roxas and Axel took not of.

The couple continued to laugh, before Axel leaned down and kissed Roxas again, hard and quick.

"I could make out with you for the rest of my _life_, and never be sick of it." Axel told him, grabbing his hand.

Roxas rolled his eyes at the exaggeration but was secretly pleased. He didn't really want to go meet up with the others; he would be just fine glued to Axel's side for the rest of the night. He wanted to be alone with Axel, to have Axel's attention solely on him.

But they had promised they would meet up with the others.

"Let's get to the Great Dane," Roxas suggested. Axel sighed. He really didn't want to meet up with the group either.

The Great Dane was two blocks away from State Street. When they got there, Demyx was pushing his way to the bar to buy pitchers of Screwdrivers. All the tables were filled so people were lounging on the floor. There was an impromptu dance floor set up at the back of the restaurant, kids grinding in time to the rap song.

Roxas was beginning to sober up, something that Axel promptly told him was against State Street Etiquette. Roxas had no idea what that was, and he was pretty sure Axel had made it up.

Dem came over to where they were standing with a pitcher in each hand. Axel got up and disappeared into the crowd. Xion snagged them a table a moment later, and the group got comfortable as Zexion poured out drinks.

Demyx took the preferred drink, his eyes closed in bliss, "That concert was everything I expected it to be."

Larxene laughed, "Oh my god, I thought I was going to be trampled to death when the whole crowd was jumping up and down during that one song."

Roxas nodded, "Being short sucks."

Xion hummed her affirmation to that statement before adding, "But those paintings! That's such an amazing idea. I wonder how much they sold for."

"Sooooo Roxas. Now that you and Axel are dating…" Larxene suddenly spoke, leering at him from across the table.

Roxas nodded, not sure why she said it like that.

"Do you know how two men fuck?" She finally asked, "Because you scream virgin vibes."

Roxas glared at her, bringing his drink up to his lips, "That's none of your business."

Larxene opened her mouth to retort, but Zexion cut her off, his eyes narrow.

"Leave Roxas alone." He said firmly.

Larxene crossed her arms but leaned back into the booth. Axel appeared again with a small platter of shots. They were a strange amber color on the bottom with green floating on the top. Axel brought out his lighter and began to torch the top of the shots until they were flaming.

"These are called Flaming Nancies." Axel told them as he passed the shots around the table. He had one for Zexion too. Zexion gave him a curious glance, but took it when the redhead gave him a friendly smile.

"What do you do?" Roxas asked. He'd never taken a shot before.

"You blow out the flame and drop it back. Try to get it down in one gulp," Xion told him.

Roxas nodded, feeling rather ridiculous and naïve. What Larxene had said was still whirling around his mind, making him feel shameful with his inexperience. He didn't know how to properly take a shot; _of course_ he wouldn't know the nitty gritties of how men have sex. That worried him. Did Axel think he was an idiot, because he didn't know these things?

The group clinked the small glasses together, blowing the flame out before throwing the shot back. The heated liquor tasted strong and bitter to Roxas, he nearly choked as he is eyes watered. He forced the shot down his throat trying to ignore the burning of his throat.

"Wooh!" Demyx cried, shaking his head. "Totally harsh shot, Axel."

Zexion's eyes were also wet as he brushed his lips with the back of his hand. Demyx was watching him curiously.

"Did you like it Zexy?" He asked.

Zexion forced a nod; Roxas could tell he was lying. Zexion had obviously not enjoyed it.

By the time they headed out of the bar it was almost bar close. The group had played a long game of shuffleboard; Larxene and Axel beat Zexion and Demyx easily. They were all pretty intoxicated as they walked back, wandering aimlessly from one side the sidewalk to the other. Zexion was the only one not slurring his words.

The crowds were starting to thin out so Larxene suggested they head home. Axel, Demyx, and Larxene had spent quite a bit of money on drinks (Roxas felt bad, he hadn't spent a dime) and they were all getting worn out.

Xion began complaining about her boots as soon as they started walking back, so Axel had bent over and let her ride on his back. He managed to carry her and simultaneously hold hands with Roxas. It was pretty impressive to Roxas in his inebriation.

"So where are we gonna crash tonight?" Xion asked in a sing-song voice.

Roxas blinked, suddenly realizing he was too drunk to walk all the way back to his dorm with Demxy. It wasn't far but… Roxas was pretty sure that he would get lost on his way back.

"Well, Roxas is stayin' with _me_," Axel said suggestively, wriggling his eyebrow down at the blonde, "And Xion can have the couch downstairs. Dem-"

"Demyx can come stay with me," Zexion told them, startling the group. He hadn't spoken a word for nearly an hour.

Demyx cheered happily, his arms wrapping around Zexion's shoulders as he continued walking. Zexion grabbed Demyx's waist, trying to steady him. They nearly toppled over, but Larxene gave a sharp tug on Dem's belt so he wouldn't fall.

"Sleepover partay~" Demyx was singing, his voice strong and beautiful despite the slur to his words. "Fun, fun sleepover times!"

"My car's parked over that way," Zexion told Dem as they reached West Mifflin.

Dem nodded, his eyes glazed, before grabbing Roxas around his neck, hugging him tightly. Roxas hugged him back for a moment, unused to sporadic affection.

"I loooove you, Rocksus. You're like, the fucking best. And I'm soooo fucking happy for you. And Axel! I love you, man, like a lot. And Xion too! Cause you made my ass look sexy in these pants… and I guess Larxene too. Because she's such a bitch." He drunkenly side-hugged Axel who was still holding Xion. Larxene snorted to herself.

Zexion waved at them, turning around.

"You guys have fun!" Dem finally cried, skipping after Zexion before disappearing around a building.

When they got back to the house, Xion drunkenly collapsed on the couch, her eyes immediately closing. Larxene grabbed her a blanket from the closet, Roxas took off her shoes so she would be more comfortable.

Larxene nodded at them vaguely, and murmured something indistinctive before disappearing into her bedroom.

Axel went over to the kitchen, filling up two large glasses of water. The pair wandered back up to his room, finally alone and quiet. Roxas yawned heavily, his ears were still ringing. He was suddenly drowsy.

Roxas drank his glass of water quickly, but his mouth tasted gross. He had taken a few drags of Axel's cigarette, and it made his mouth feel icky. Roxas stood up after a moment, "Toilet," he murmured in Axel's general direction.

Roxas walked across the dark hall, and headed into the bathroom. He stared blankly at his reflection in the mirror, barely recognizing himself. He wasn't used to seeing his new piercings yet. He had eyeshadow smeared down his cheek, and his hair was going limp; probably from Axel ruffling it during the night. After snooping in the bathroom for a minute, he found mouthwash.

He didn't want Axel to think he had bad breath, so he borrowed a little before spitting it into the sink. His costume was heavy, so he fumbled with the belts that held the metal plate on before thankfully slipping it off his shoulders. He quickly washed his face to remove the makeup.

Axel was sitting on his bed, packing his pipe. Axel liked to smoke before he went to sleep, something that Roxas found after only knowing him for two weeks. The redhead had taken off his costume, dawning simple boxers and a wife-beater. Roxas let his gaze slide over Axel's exposed skin before he sunk on the bed.

Axel handed him the pipe, letting Roxas take a deep drag before leaning against the wall. They were sitting so closely that Roxas could feel Axel's body heat.

Roxas tried to keep his eyes open. The combination of weed and alcohol made him want to pass out. Axel chuckled at the boy's drowsy expression. He got off his bed and ruffled through dresser, pulling out a T-shirt and shorts.

Roxas's head was lulled to the side. Axel reached forward and started unbuttoning Roxas' shirt, letting the fabric slide off smooth skin. Axel felt his heart quicken at the sight of a defenseless Roxas, wearing only his tight pin-stripe pants. It made him gulp nervously as Roxas lifted his hips to get his pants off, leaving only his boxers on.

Roxas was far too out of it to care that he was half-naked in front of his boyfriend. They were alone, on his bed, and it made several images pop into Axel's mind.

Though Axel was horny (Axel was always horny) he knew that the blonde was ten kinds of innocent.

Judging by the way Roxas kissed him; the freshman was obviously a virgin. Not that Axel minded, but he knew that he couldn't push Roxas. So he took several deep breaths, and forced his libido down.

Roxas rolled onto his side, his eyes shutting as he nuzzled into Axel's pillow. Axel chuckled and abandoned the clothes he was going to dress the blond in. He gingerly scooted onto the bed, pulling the blankets up around them.

Roxas quickly cuddled toward him, he was asleep in moments. His thick lashes were resting against blushed cheeks. Axel reached up and flicked the light off, rolling onto his side.

He sighed softly, burying his fingers into his boyfriend's hair. He still couldn't believe his luck- this kid that he'd been practically obsessed with had somehow ended up as his_ boyfriend_.

Axel hoped that he wouldn't wake to find it had all been a dream.


	3. Boys, be ambitious

Liberated

Part III. _Boys, be ambitious. _

By DXMJUNKIE

XXX

The next few weeks were a blur for Roxas.

He threw his concentration into the coursework of his classes, immersing himself in artist lingo that he'd never heard of. He spent long hours painting in his the classroom studios and on Axel's roof. Axel had set up an easel on the corner that faced the Capitol Building (completely nailed down so that it wouldn't blow away) and had a couple blank canvases perched against the wall in his room. He'd purchased them without Roxas asking him too, and Roxas was blown away by how thoughtful his boyfriend was. Axel fully supported Roxas and his odd painting schedule, so they both kept random hours awake to spend time with each other.

Roxas would prop a few lights up on the roof deep into the night, and Axel would bring his Electric Violin and they would spend long hours creating music and art. Roxas loved listening to Axel sing, his deep voice made Roxas feel at ease. Axel would write music while he sat there, and it shocked Roxas how quickly Axel could write a song, music and all.

Roxas loved the feeling of just hanging out with Axel. He could go over to the man and kiss him soundly whenever it passed his fancy. Sometimes Axel would take a cigarette break and he would silently watch Roxas paint, other times Roxas was lean against the easel and close his eyes and listen to Axel play. Axel was very touchy feely, and whenever Roxas was concentrating on his painting for too long Axel would wrap his arms around his waist and kiss the back of his head and hum into his ear.

Roxas began to attend every practice session of Axel's, and even when he was buried under his work he would manage to haul his sketchbook with him so he could listen to his boyfriend play. Afterwards they would get coffee at McDonalds and head back to Axel's room. When alone they would toy with each other's hair and kiss like it was an addiction and watch the sunrise in each other's arms.

It was this easy intimacy that Roxas worshiped. Axel didn't push Roxas to have sex, despite what Larxene had told him. They had talked about it once, when Roxas had drunkenly apologized for his inexperience. Axel had told him that he didn't care how long it took Roxas to feel comfortable. Axel was fine as long as he could kiss and hug Roxas whenever he wanted. Roxas had thought this was a compromise, so he had solemnly shook hands with the man before headily making out with him.

Axel worked several nights a week, so whenever Roxas couldn't hang out with him Demyx would teach him how to play guitar.

Demyx took his guitar lessons slow, but Roxas was a quick learner when it came to music. It helped that Demyx was an excellent teacher. Dem would book soundproof studio space in the music hall for them to practice once a week. Sometimes Zexion would tag along, and while Demyx and Roxas bounced music off each as other the quiet man read thick books.

The day after Halloween, Demyx had told Roxas that he had drunkenly kissed Zexion and he was worried that the man was mad. But Zexion obviously wasn't because he was glued tighter to Demyx after that night. The science buildings where Zexion worked was close enough to the music buildings, so they would catch lunch almost everyday.

Roxas had patiently listened to Demyx tell him how much he adored Zexion, and he secretly wished his roommate would just fucking ask him out so he wouldn't keep complaining about it. Axel had told Roxas to be more patient; Demyx had been trying to get close to Zexion for more than a year. Roxas could tell that it was working by the few words Zexion had said on the subject.

Xion wasn't around much during the November and the start of December, she had taken a double-load of classes and was suffering under the workload. When she was particularly overwhelmed Roxas dragged her to the skatepark, but the weather was swiftly growing colder. Axel would bring Xion flowers (Xion was a freak for flowers, Roxas understood this wasn't a romantic gesture) and would drag her out to parties once in a while.

Roxas even began to hang out with Larxene on occasion. The more he got to know her, the more he appreciated her brutally honest comments and her insightful perspectives. She also stopped badgering him about sex, which he immensely appreciated. Larxene was the most athletic out of the group, and a few times she dragged him after class to Vilas Park so they could rent canoes and paddle on Lake Wingra. She played drums for the band, and one time Roxas had the pleasure of playing with the whole band in Axel's front yard.

His days were long and busy and full.

Roxas had spent many hours alone when he was younger; he had been much quieter than his brother and their classmates. But now he was used to hanging out with his friends every second of the day.

As December rolled around and the first snowstorms began to hit Madison, Axel had to retire the roof. Roxas had helped him tape plastic wrap around the chairs and easel, they had passionately kissed on the roof one last time (for memories sake) before finally taping off Axel's window.

But one afternoon, things changed dramatically for Roxas.

Roxas was in his dormroom, tracing a few etching for his upcoming watercolor diptych when Demyx showed up. Dem tossed a letter on his desk, he was humming to himself as he propped his Sitar case against the wall.

"There was a letter for you in our mailbox. Oh, and Zexion said that Xion was free for dinner tonight," Dem told him as he plopped onto his chair and opened his laptop. "They want to check out Fugu Asian Fusion on East Gilman Street. Axel gets off at eight, so were gonna pick him up in my car."

Roxas glanced at the letter, recognizing his father's handwriting. He blinked, ripping it open and reading the contents slowly. Demyx continued to talk in the background, but Roxas was no longer listening to him. He read the words on the page over and over, feeling as though someone had shoved a rock down his throat. He was nauseous as he read; the words stabbing into him like needles.

Roxas felt tears well up in his eyes as he blankly stared off into space. Demyx was on his computer so he didn't notice. Roxas let out an unsteady huff of air, bringing his legs up and wrapping his arms around them. Roxas finally let out a strangled noise, catching Demyx's attention.

Demyx spun around on his chair, gasping at the expression on Roxas's face.

"Rox!" Dem cried, standing up. "What's wrong?"

Roxas shook his head, trying frantically to hold back tears.

Demyx went over to him, wrapping his arms firmly around Roxas. He'd never seen his roommate like this before. Roxas wasn't answering; he continued to shake his head. Tears began to fall despite his best efforts.

Demyx saw the letter gripped tightly in Roxas's hands and back up to the silent streams of tears on his cheeks. Dem gently took the sheets of paper from his grip. Roxas let him read it aloud.

_"Roxas,"_ Demyx read,

_"I'm pleased to inform you that I've decided to marry Cecile D'Lenge, and have moved to Lyon, France to live in her villa. We've already held the ceremony, so you won't have to worry about attending. Sora will be staying with Riku from now on; so don't feel obligated to come home for Christmas or any other holiday. After all, it's not like the Destiny Islands is really your home anymore._

_I'm still immensely disappointed in your decision become an artist. You know that it is a foolish career choice, and I have doubts about your success. You can't live in a daydream fantasy world forever, son. I will continue to pay for your tuition and housing but other than that don't expect a dime. You will need to work hard to pave your own way in life, and will soon learn the foolish err in your choices. I look forward to hearing from you when you do."_

Demyx put the letter down as if it burned him, feeling numb and apprehensive. Roxas had his face buried in his knees. His whole body was shaking. Demyx felt tears bite his own eyes as he looked down at his roommate. What a cold letter. What a cold person.

Demyx, for once in his life, had nothing to say. He was rendered speechless by the letter directed at his smart, funny, and hardworking roommate.

Dem wrapped his arms back around his friend, holding him tightly. He finally found the words, and he hoped that they would be enough.

"Roxas, it doesn't matter what he says. You aren't foolish at all, and you aren't alone. Even if he says you don't have a home to return to, _we_ will be your home."

Demyx squeezed Roxas, who moved his arms to wrap around the musicians torso. Roxas buried his face into Dem's chest, whimpering.

Roxas felt empty at the thought that his father didn't want him at his wedding. His father and him had never been close; he'd always favored Sora. After Roxas's mother had died, Roxas had become more silent. Sora had always been the vibrant cheerful one; he'd been into sports and had a knack for business. Sora was the son his father wanted. Roxas was unwanted. Roxas wondered what Sora had to say about, if Sora knew.

Demyx fished his phone out of his pocket, "I'm going to call Axel."

Roxas nodded bleakly, dully rubbing his arm over his face clear the tears from his eyes. He didn't want his boyfriend to see him all sloppy with emotion, but he really wanted nothing more than the redhead to hold him and tell him how much he liked Roxas.

Demyx let Roxas go after a long moment before stepping out into the hall to call Axel. As soon as the door was closed, Roxas flipped his phone opened and dialed his brothers number.

After one ring the phone was disconnected and went straight to voice mail. Roxas threw the phone to his desk, opening his laptop and typing a message out to Sora. If his father had told him that he wasn't going to give him a dime, Roxas would never be able to afford the airplane ticket back home for the holiday. Roxas sent the email quickly, before trying to call Sora's cell again. It was again disconnected after one ring.

Demyx came back in the room as Roxas was shutting his laptop. Dem was still clutching his phone. Roxas curled into jittery ball, biting his lip hard to fight the second onslaught of frustrated tears.

"Listen, Axel said he's heading over here at eight. Do you want me to stay with you? I could call Zexion and Xion and tell them to cancel." Demyx said softly, worry evident in his eyes.

Roxas shook his head as he glanced at the clock. "No, go." He told Demyx in a clipped voice. Roxas reached down and picked up the letter, folding it and putting it in his pocket.

"I want to be alone for a bit." He added.

Demyx sighed and quickly ran his fingers through his Mohawk. He didn't want to leave the boy alone- but if those were his wishes. Demyx understood that Roxas wasn't the sort of person who needed to talk things out; he instead needed time to think through a situation.

But that didn't ease the feeling of apprehension that ran through the musician.

"Okay, but listen, you need me for anything, and I fucking mean _anything_, just call and I'll come running." Dem told him, putting his phone back into his pocket.

Roxas nodded and stood up. He reached over and for the first time initiated a hug with his roommate. Demyx was a little startled but he hugged back tightly. Roxas felt a bit better knowing his friends were there for him. He felt lucky to have Demyx for a roommate.

Demyx waved goodbye, still looking uneasy. As soon as he was gone, Roxas grabbed his coat, keys, and skateboard. He ran out the side exit of his dorm, barely noticing his surroundings. His only mindset was that he wanted to see Axel as soon as possible.

Roxas skateboarded down towards State Street, trying to keep his face impassive despite the disparaging thoughts that were crowding his mind. The sidewalks were thankfully clear despite the inch of snow on the ground.

He felt dejected about his father, and worried about his brother. Sora was the type to misunderstand things easily, and Roxas only just realized he hadn't talked his brother since he'd been to school. He had tried to call him at least twice a week, and had sent numerous emails but no response ever came back. Roxas felt awful about it, but he didn't know what do to so he had stopped trying.

Roxas flew past the Capitol Building, narrowly skidding on ice and colliding with a group of tourists who shouted at him. He went down the hill of East Washington Avenue, finally arriving at High Noon Saloon where Axel worked. Axel had gotten a job there because they had a lot of live music, and if he worked their long enough he could get the band to play. A lot of hard-core musicians often went to the live shows, and it was his best bet at getting recognized.

The bar was huge with a brick exterior. The inside was two floors high, with a set of balconies flanking either side of the stage. The bar was colored in warm auburn woods, and was lit with candelabras hanging from the ceiling.

Roxas walked inside, immediately spotting Axel bartending. It was still before eight, and the bar was relatively empty. Axel was pouring drinks with his back to Roxas, his hands moving quickly with an expert ease.

Roxas sat down at the bar, feeling miserable. He couldn't get the letter out of his head. He twined his fingers together, staring dejectedly at his hands.

"Roxas!" Axel sounded surprised when he turned around.

Roxas gave him a weak smile, which made Axel frown. Axel quickly handed the drinks he had made to two customers on the end of the bar, snatching their money before heading over to Roxas. He leaned across the bar.

"Dem called, I've been worried. He said you got a shitty letter from your dad." Axel spoke softly so they wouldn't be overheard. Roxas nodded but didn't say anything.

Axel glanced across Roxas's shoulder.

"Hey Tifa!" Axel called out to a girl walking past in the same uniform. "Listen, I was supposed to leave at eight, but would you mind taking over for me now? It's important." He explained, motioning for her to come over.

The girl walked towards them and seemed to think about it, "Okay, Ax, but only if you cover for me for an hour tomorrow night. Leon is playing tomorrow and I want to flirt."

Axel laughed, taking off the apron tied around his thin waist. "Of course, of course. Leather-covered Leon. Done deal, I'll check you tomorrow then?"

Tifa nodded, Axel stepping around the bar next to Roxas. Tifa stared at Roxas for a long moment before a look of surprise washed across her attractive face. She grinned at the pair.

"Ah, so this is the quiet boyfriend." She said openly, her hands on her hips.

Roxas couldn't help but blush; he still wasn't when random people talked about his relationship. Roxas had been expecting most people to be disgusted with him having a boyfriend; back home he would be proverbially shot for it. But most people around Madison were liberal, and they didn't seem to care about things like being gay.

Axel casually slung his arm around Roxas's shoulder.

"Yep! Roxas Kouda, meet Tifa Lockheart. She's another bartender here."

Tifa nodded, "God, I feel like I already know you."

With short giggle she added, "When you guys first started dating we had to beg Axel to shut up about you."

Roxas gave another weak smile and fiddled with his skateboard. He wasn't really in the mood to talk right now. Axel caught on to this fact because he started nudging Roxas away.

"Well, you guys can talk about me later, Roxas and I have plans." Axel told her cheekily. Roxas was always amazed at how Axel handled situations; he made the statement sound so nonchalant.

Axel led Roxas away from the bar, grabbing his skateboard and jacket from behind the front desk before they stepped out into the icy evening. The stars were out, and the wind was biting.

Axel lit up a cigarette, motioning for Roxas to sit on a set of benches next to the sidewalk. He cleared the snow off the seat for Roxas, watching him sit down with his hands jammed into this pockets. Roxas put his skateboard under his feet, and gently idled it back and forth. Roxas wasn't looking at him.

"So, what happened?" Axel tentatively asked, taking a deep drag.

"…." Roxas squeezed his eyes shut. He felt helpless as he pulled the letter from his pocket and handed it over to his boyfriend.

Axel propped his cigarette between his lips before opening the letter and quickly scanning the contents. Roxas carefully watched as Axel's expression turned dark and menacing. Axel threw the cigarette from his lips and crushed it under his heavy boots.

"_I'm still immensely disappointed in your decision become an artist."_ Axel read flatly, there was anger in his voice as he continued, "_You know that it is a foolish career choice, and I have doubts about your success_?"

Axel crunched the letter between his hands with disgust, frantically grabbing Roxas and hugging him against his side. Roxas grabbed the paper from Axel's fist; he didn't know why he wanted to keep it, but felt like he needed to. He was not sure what to say so he remained silent.

Axel finally took Roxas's hand and hauled him to his feet. They headed back towards the Capitol. Axel was silent as they strode along. Roxas wasn't sure why they were walking when they both had their skateboards but he didn't mind because he enjoyed the feel of Axel's palm against his own. Nobody even glanced at the couples joined hands.

They got back to Axel's house about fifteen minutes later. They hadn't spoken a word. Axel's place was quiet, Larxene was still in class and his other roommates only came home once in a blue moon.

They went to Axel's room before sitting on his bed together. Axel pooled a large blanket around them, settling them with his back against the wall. Finally, in the privacy of his room Axel could spoon Roxas into his embrace, wrapping lanky arms around the boy. He knew Roxas wasn't keen about PDA in public places, aside from handholding.

Axel wasn't sure what to say, but he knew that he needed to comfort Roxas somehow. He wasn't really good with this emotional mumbo jumbo, but he _wanted_ Roxas to feel better. He didn't like the tight expression on the blonde's face, or the way the Roxas would never say anything aloud.

"Roxas, you have to know that letter is crap, right?" Axel finally spoke.

Roxas looked up his him, his blue eyes miserable.

"I mean you are an amazing artist. You have a gift for seeing things as they really are. You work so hard to excel at your classes, your not doing it half-heartedly." Axel continued.

"I admire how dedicated you are, and your dad doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about when he says that you live in a fantasy. Because the Roxas I know," Axel tipped Roxas's chin up so that he met his gaze, "is thoughtful and perceptive and down to earth."

Roxas felt the tears spill out and he bit his lip harshly. Those damn tears were falling unbidden and he couldn't stop if he tried. He attempted to articulate his thoughts to his boyfriend;

"It's just… I knew that I disappointed him. I know… I'm not what he wants for a son," Roxas told him through sobs. Axel squeezed him, opening his mouth to respond before Roxas cut him off.

"My dad… well, after my mom died, he never really wanted to look at me. I was… Well, when I was ten, me and my mom were in a car accident."

Roxas closed his eyes, feeling the memories surface. Memories he barely thought of because they hurt so immensely. He could still hear his mother's laugher and words of encouragement as they were driving.

"A drunk tourist hit the front of our car on the way back from one of my elementary school art shows. My mom died instantly, and I somehow survived." Roxas voice was bitter.

Axel was listening to him with rapt attention.

"After that… my dad sort of pretended I didn't exist. My brother Sora was the one who always did what my dad wanted. Dad's a shrewd businessman, and Sora was always good with that sort of thing. Sora was athletic, talkative, and perfect." Roxas explained, the words stinging him. He was unconsciously digging his fingers into Axel's arms.

"I was the quiet one who didn't have any worthy hobbies. When I went away to school, my brother had been really mad. I haven't tried even tried to call him in a month… I doubt he'll ever forgive me." Roxas started brokenly sobbing again, hiding his face behind his hands.

Axel was a little confused but remained silent. He'd never seen Roxas break down like this, but then again he really hadn't known the boy for very long. It was at this moment that Axel realized he knew virtually nothing about his boyfriend. He completely understood the current Roxas, but he didn't know anything about his past. He felt foolish for never asking these types of questions, but Roxas was so quiet and never really talked about himself. This was the most Axel had ever heard the boy talk about his family.

"Why do you think your brother will hate you?" Axel asked softly, rubbing the blonde's shoulders. Roxas pulled his hands away from his face, burying his nose into the fabric of Axel's work shirt.

"When my mom died, I think a part of Sora blamed me." Roxas mumbled into his chest.

"Then after graduation, I left. Back home, nobody really leaves. I was the second person who _ever_ left the Destiny Islands. When you leave you never really come back is what people said. And right before I came here, Sora told me that he never wanted to see me again. I've tried to call him but he never answers. I thought that when I went home this Christmas I could talk with him… but…"

Axel felt awful for Roxas. The kid didn't deserve to be rejected by his family for something he couldn't control.

Axel didn't pity Roxas, however. Axel had an equally crappy family history and he understood how deep and unyielding those wounds could be.

Roxas felt a little better after speaking these thoughts aloud; bearing his dark secrets to this man he could trust. He had never spoken about his mother and was surprised at how easily the words came from his mouth.

"What about your friends back home?"

Roxas thought about it, he was finally calming down. His cheeks were red and his eyes were puffy, but Axel still found him attractive and endearing.

"When I was young I hung out with just three people." Roxas told him, fiddling with the collar of Axel's shirt. "Hayner, Pence, and Olette. We were inseparable during junior high, three peas in a pod, you know? But during my last year of high school they got mad about for something, I never really knew what. One day they just stopped talking to me. There was…this time…"

Roxas paused, not wanting to repeat the painful memory, "This January, on my eighteenth birthday, not a single person spoke to me that entire day. Not one person wished me happy birthday, not even my brother. It was the day that I decided to apply for Madison and go away to school. Sora and I have birthdays that are two days apart, and everyone came to Sora's party at our house… but…"

Roxas scrunched his eyes shut miserably, "Nobody cared when mine rolled around."

Axel was utterly amazed that anyone would treat him like this, "Well, your birthday is January 15th, right?"

Roxas nodded.

"Then we are going to show those fucking assholes." Roxas was surprised at the venom in Axel's voice. He looked up and realized that his boyfriend was livid. His green eyes were narrow and sparked with indignation. He was still gently holding Roxas, but his countenance was fierce.

"We are going to make your next birthday so amazing that you won't ever have to remember that day. Those people. How_ fucking_ disgusting." Axel spit out.

Roxas was stunned. This man that he had only known for a few months- this man that he was somehow dating- he was genuinely angry on his behalf. It helped alleviate the icy feeling of dread that was crushing him.

Roxas felt his heart quicken at this epiphany, and he suddenly felt calm again. He didn't know how Axel did that- made him feel so cared about and so loved. He hadn't really felt like that since his mother was still alive.

Roxas cupped Axel's cheek with his fingers, watching him carefully through half-lidded eyes. The redhead didn't have his chain on (he couldn't wear it at work) but he still looked like a hardass. This external appearance was so contradictory to who Axel really was. Roxas knew that Axel was devastatingly kind.

Roxas leaned up and kissed Axel gently on the lips, his lashes fluttering against the man's cheeks. Axel tightened his hold on Roxas while placing butterfly kisses around the blonde's face.

Roxas finally pulled back and gave him a gentle look, "Thank you, Axel," he murmured, his breath warming Axel's lips.

Axel shook his head, not sure what Roxas meant.

Roxas cracked a tentative smile, "Thank you for getting angry on my behalf, for caring about me so much," he explained.

Axel spooned Roxas tighter against his side in response. The musician let his eyes flutter shut as they hugged, Roxas finally relaxing against him. Axel was glad that Roxas trusted him so much; he could tell that the kid never really talked about this with anyone else.

"Roxas, I will **never** do anything like that to you. I promise I will take care of you." Axel finally said after a good minute of silence.

Roxas pulled back from the embrace, sitting up so his knees were between Axel's legs. He let his arms wrap around the redheads back, his nose buried in his neck. Roxas breathed the scent of his boyfriend in, his nerves on fire as Axel wrapped his arms around his waist. Roxas was so thankful Axel was on his side and right next to him when he needed him the most. Affection welled deeply in his chest as he was clutched tightly to his boyfriend.

Roxas kissed Axel firmly, with tongue and teeth and desperation. He kissed him like it was the only thing he'd ever wanted to do. Axel responded passionately as always, because the redhead never did anything halfway. Roxas felt like something that had always been missing was finally complete when he was with Axel.

Roxas understood in that moment, as Axel held him so tightly like he would never let go, that he was hopelessly falling in love with the man.

"I know you won't hurt me, Axel." Roxas finally spoke, looking him dead in the eye. "I trust you completely."

XXX

During the next few days, Axel was glued to Roxas. Roxas was a bit exasperated by his behavior, but was thankful for his protective nature. Roxas began spending almost every night at Axel's house to subside the bitterness he felt towards his father. Demyx didn't care if he stayed with Axel; he wanted what was best for Roxas.

Demyx hadn't mentioned his father's letter to any of their friends, not even Zexion, for which Roxas was thankful. Dem knew when to keep his mouth shut, a virtue that Roxas felt people needed more of.

About a week after Roxas relieved the vile letter, Axel had decided to drag the overworked Xion to a party. She was on the verge of a mental breakdown from her copious amounts of homework, and Axel had practically manhandled her out of her dorm. It was Friday night and Roxas had finally completed his diptych (he had put at least twenty hours into the set of paintings) so he had planned to spend the night with Axel anyway.

Demyx and Zexion went with them; Roxas was quietly amused with the fact that the only parties Zexion ever attended where with his roommate. The party was at a house near Vilas Avenue, about eight blocks from where they lived.

Roxas was all decked out for the occasion.

He wasn't sure why he had partaken in such a fashion change when he arrived in Madison, but Roxas now felt more comfortable in band t-shirts and skinny jeans than he did in his own skin. He loved his piercings and wore the chain Axel bought him every day. It felt like he was protected by his punkish appearance. The best part was that Axel always dressed similar; tight shirt showing off his slender figure and fitted jeans with studded belts and gaudy jewelry. They always matched, always looked in sync. Like they were meant to be together.

The group had met up at ten and decided to walk because it was cheaper than getting a taxi. They were all looking forward to a little drinking, even Zexion planned to have a few.

Xion was a little moody as they headed to the party but the conversation had been amiable.

Xion bitched loudly about one of her professors; she only shut up when Axel shoved his flask under her face. Zexion and Demyx were trailing behind, Demyx oddly quiet as he walked in step with his crush. Zexion started talking about a few mishaps that had happened at his work, Axel commenting cynically.

The party was at the home of Axel's friends from high school, who also happened to be the guy who had pierced Roxas. His name was Terra, and he was covered in tattoos. Terra met the group at the front door, and had ushered them inside to the warm living room. His house was huge, but he had six roommates so it was messy.

About a dozen people were wandering around the first floor, chatting with each other, pulling swigs from bottles of liquor. They were all wearing heavy coats that Roxas envied. They looked so warm compared to how he felt.

Roxas was from a tropical place and he had never seen snow before living in Madison. Roxas had no heavy clothes, and he was relying on Axel's spare coats because he couldn't afford one of his own.

He was silently worried about his expenses and had recently realized that he would have to find a job soon. After he'd gotten the letter from his father he had checked his bank account and realized he only had about three hundred dollars left from the money he saved. Textbooks and day-to-day living expenses had quickly added up, and Roxas could barely afford anything.

So for now he didn't have the luxury of buying clothing that matched the current temperature. Roxas quickly learned and understood that Wisconsin winters were insufferable, but Axel made sure he was bundled up. Zexion had even given him a black scarf, which was currently adorned around his neck.

Axel had his flask out as soon as they got in the front door. He handed it to Roxas as they stood in the hallway. Roxas took a quick sip, the liquor warming his throat pleasantly. His fingers felt numb and were bright red.

Demyx laughed at Roxas, poking at his cheeks and cooing, "Poor boy doesn't know how to deal with a real Wisconsin winter!"

Axel snatched Dem's hand, swatting it away. Dem pouted, pursing his lips. A ghost of a smile flitted across Zexion's face from behind Dem.

"You guys should check out the new tiki bar in the basement," Terra told them after he took a swig out of Axel's flask.

"Tiki bar?" Xion quipped, looking around anxiously. In Xion's mind a tiki bar meant Malibu Rum, which was her favorite beverage.

"That door on your left." Terra pointed to the other side of the kitchen where the music was emitting. Demyx and Xion headed downstairs, with Zexion trailing. Roxas stood next to Axel as he chatted with Terra. Roxas could tell the pair had a lot of history by the way they interacted. Axel acted differently around Terra, more casual. It made Roxas feel oddly jealous.

Roxas was staring off into space when Terra suddenly spoke to him. He blinked rapidly.

"What?"

"Haha, you're cute kid." Terra told him, smirking with his hand on his hip. "I was asking you where you were from."

"Oh, the Destiny Islands."

"Oh? Really?" Terra asked, suddenly interested, "I have a friend who is from there."

'_What?_' Roxas thought to himself before asking, "Who?"

"Cloud Strife. He's in the basement right now." Terra gestured to the door Xion and the others had disappeared to.

Roxas felt his jaw drop, "Cloud Strife is in this house?"

Axel blinked, peering down at his boyfriend. He had obviously not been expecting that reaction.

"Oh, hells yeah, man. Cloud goes to school here. You know him?"

Roxas nodded, shocked by this information, "Yeah, the Destiny Islands are miniscule. Everybody was up in everybody else's business."

"How do you know Cloud?" Axel asked, genuinely curious because he also knew Cloud from at least two years ago.

Roxas blinked, startled, "You know him too, Axel? Oh- well, Cloud was a big surfer on the Islands. Everybody idolized him. He surfed a perfect swell during one of the biggest tsunamis. He left to go pro in New Zealand."

Terra laughed loudly, "Haha, yeah I can see how some people could see Cloud as someone heroic. In all actuality, he's a bit of a dipshit."

Axel nodded enthusiastically, "That is totally true."

Roxas blinked up at Axel, "How do you know him?"

"His boyfriend plays bass at High Noon on Saturday nights." Axel told him.

Roxas felt his jaw drop again, he was sure he had heard wrong, "His _boyfriend_?"

Both Axel and Terra laughed at his expression. Axel leaned forward and pecked Roxas's lips softly, uncaring that people were watching. Roxas gave him a stern look, but still managed to ask, "So Cloud is gay, then?"

"You should meet his boyfriend," Terra said to Roxas. "They suit each other. Just like you two, with those awesome matching piercings I gave you!"

Roxas blushed lightly as Axel rolled his eyes, "Leather-covered Leon."

Roxas remembered that name from somewhere, "Oh, that guy who Tifa likes?"

"Tifa and Xion, actually." Axel promptly informed him.

Roxas looked skeptical, "Xion likes him too?"

Terra patted Roxas on the shoulder solemnly said sadly, "Leon steals the hearts of many innocent maidens."

"Terra, what the fuck are you on about?" A new voice cut in. Roxas glanced up in disblief. Cloud was wearing a tight black hoodie and dark jeans, with a thick winter-hat over his blonde spikes. He was had heavy black boots. His expression was cocky and he was still ruggedly handsome, just as Roxas remembered. He was still well built, and his eyes were still bold and challenging.

"Cloud?" Roxas asked quietly, still shocked by the fact that somebody from back home was in the same house as him, in Madison, nearly 3,000 miles away.

Cloud looked down at him blankly for a moment, for blinking and extending his hand out, "Roxas Kouda? From St. Mary's High?"

Roxas smiled up at him, shaking his hand enthusiastically.

"I can't believe somebody else left that dead-end spit of land." Cloud told him, before crossing his arms over his broad chest.

Roxas chuckled while sticking his hands in his pockets, "Yeah, I know, right? I haven't seen you in years. Thought you went off to New Zealand for some surfing thing?"

Axel wryly commented to Terra, "Leon is from New Zealand."

Roxas blinked up at his boyfriend. Cloud suddenly groaned in agitation, pulling at his hair in dismay, "Terra, you fucking asshole. Have you been outing me in front of random people again?"

Roxas watched Cloud as he openly stated, "Stop gossiping about me and my boyfriend, you asshat."

Cloud noticed Roxas's open disbelief a moment later and blushed. Terra was wandering away as he saw his girlfriend, Aqua. Terra didn't have the best attention span.

Cloud sheepishly responded, "Oh yeah, Roxas. _Um_- I know people from back home don't know about the whole gay thing, so I would appreciate you not to really mention this to your brother or your dad. You know how people are back there."

Roxas was still blank with disbelief. Axel tensed, wondering if Roxas was going to say anything. Axel was suddenly worried that Roxas wouldn't acknowledge their relationship to someone from his hometown. He wondered if Roxas was ashamed to be with him… a guy. Axel knew that Roxas had a hard time with admitting to himself that he dating another male, and the only people who knew were already their mutual friends.

However after a long beat of silent Roxas seemed to animate again and shook his head quickly. He smiled up at Cloud happily, looking oddly relieved.

"Oh, well," Roxas blushed, leaning over and grabbing Axel's arm, twining it with his own, "Cloud, this is my boyfriend, Axel McKenna."

Cloud's face mirrored Roxas's expression from a moment earlier.

"Axel? You're dating the son and heir to the Kouda Corporation?"

Roxas's face visibly fell at that statement, Axel looked confused.

"Sora will inherit," Roxas stated shortly, shuffling his feet as an awkward tension seeped into his expression. Axel was about to ask him what he meant but Cloud already seemed to understand and quickly nodded.

"It's so good to see an Islander again." He told him honestly, his voice casual and nonchalant.

Roxas blatantly stared up at him, enthralled at the man's expression. So Cloud was gay?

It was hard to fathom.

When Roxas had been younger Cloud had always been this untouchable person. They were only two grades apart but Cloud lived in another world. He had always been the token Islander. Cloud was an expert surfer, incredibly fit, and popular with females. Even his brothers' best friend, Riku, had admired Cloud despite his narcissism. 

But here Cloud was, apparently gay, and nothing like Roxas had pictured him from before. Roxas thought Riku would have a heart attack if he knew his idol liked other men. Roxas visibly relaxed, leaned heavily onto Axel's arm before glancing up at his boyfriend. Axel wasn't looking at him; his gaze was set off in the distance. Roxas fleetingly wondered if there was something wrong.

Cloud gestured to the basement, "Let's head downstairs to get drinks." 

They followed Cloud down a narrow flight of steps into a crowded basement. The basement was muggy from body heat, there were several beer pong table set up around the room. Rap music pounded from speakers around him, the bass vibrating loudly. A few people were dancing, but most were mingling in small groups, drinking out of red cups. Zexion and Demyx were standing in the corner, chatting with each other.

Cloud grabbed Roxas by the arm, pulling him up to a man standing at the bar in the far corner. Xion was standing next to him, and Roxas immediately understood what Axel had meant about Xion having a crush. Xion looked like a puppy that had just received a treat while the guy spoke to her. Deep brown eyes looked up when Cloud was standing next to him.

"Roxas, this is Squall Leonheart, more commonly known as Leon." Cloud introduced while the brunette turned and looked down at him.

Leon was tall, built, and had a masculine scar across his face. He was wearing a heavy fur winter jacket and tight leather pants. Leon looked pretty intimidating for a moment until he smiled directly at Roxas while holding out his large hand.

"You look like a mini-Cloud, except more punk with the piercings." Leon told him in a friendly tone, leaning down towards the smaller boy with an interested expression.

Axel stiffened, the redhead feeling inexplicably agitated.

Roxas took the proffered hand, "I'm Roxas Kouda. I'm from Cloud's hometown."

Leon looked interested; Xion quickly turning to ask him, "Oh, you know Cloud too?"

Roxas rolled his eyes, because apparently everyone else already knew Cloud too.

"How old are you, Roxas?" Leon asked, leaning closer. Axel narrowed his eyes, he was tempted to say something but bit his lip aggressively.

"I'm only eighteen, but I turn nineteen in January," Roxas explained, leaning away from the taller man.

Leon started to say something but Axel interrupted by grabbing his boyfriend's arm and stating loudly, "Hey Roxas, come have a cigg with me outside?"

Roxas paused before nodding, "Okay."

He waved at Leon and Cloud before following Axel back up the stairs. Leon looked confused, and glanced over at his lover. Cloud shrugged, Xion smiling up from beside him.

"What's their deal?" Leon asked her.

Xion giggled, flipping her short hair back, "Axel is just really protective of his boyfriend."

Leon glanced at Cloud out of the corner of his eye, completely understanding that sentiment. Xion didn't notice anything; she was too busy sipping her drink.

Axel pulled at Roxas until they were outside. After the front door was firmly shut Axel huffed loudly, he sounded incredibly agitated. He paced a few steps away, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and pulling one out.

"Axel? You okay?" Roxas's voice echoed softly from the front step.

Axel glanced over at him, green eyes clearly annoyed, "You are really don't get it, don't you."

"Get what?" Roxas clearly had no idea what he was talking about, but he was worried that Axel was mad at him for something.

Axel lit his cigarette, turning his face away to avoid the wind before answering, "You don't get it when other people are hitting on you."

Roxas's eyebrows shot up on his forehead, "What… are you talking about?"

Axel rolled his eyes, his eyebrow twitching in agitation before biting out, "Leather-covered Leon."

Roxas thought about this for a moment, before giving Axel an incredulous look, "Axel, _really_?"

Axel glanced back down at him, frowning as he took another drag of his cigarette. His shoulders were tense and he was pacing back and forth. Roxas shook his head, crossing his arms.

"Axel, Leon is dating Cloud. And Terra is dating Aqua. And Dem is soon-to-be-dating Zexion. So the only single person I've really spoken to tonight is Xion, and she clearly isn't hitting on me." Roxas sounded far too amused by his boyfriend's reaction.

A light blush covered Axel's cheeks, and Roxas was sure if he drew attention to that fact the redhead would blame the cold. Roxas was a little surprised that he thought Axel's unfounded jealousy so endearing; but with Axel was pouting adorably, huffing on his cigarette….

Roxas realized that he'd been rather vague with his feelings for his boyfriend. He'd told Axel that he liked him, yes, but right now Roxas didn't feel that was enough. He felt like he had been taking advantage of the redhead's affection, that he hadn't been giving anything in return. Roxas didn't want Axel to be uneasy; he wanted him to be confident in their relationship. Roxas wasn't really sure how to structure the words whirling around his head, but he tried anyway.

"Axel?"

Axel gave a sidelong glance down to him.

"…" Roxas bit his lip, reaching over to grasp at Axel's free hand. Axel turned and faced him fully, waiting for him to speak.

"I'm falling in love with you." Roxas finally told him, so softly that Axel barely heard the words. Axel felt like his heart stopped, the statement finally registering after a long moment.

Axel blindly reached down and quickly tipped Roxas's chin up, wanting to check in the boy's eyes to see if what he said was true. Roxas was blushing deeply, almost as deeply as when Axel had first met him. Axel finally understood what the boy was trying to do. He was trying to comfort him and this thought made Axel dizzy.

"I'm not planning to run away to someone else," Roxas continued, reaching up with one hand and letting his fingers tap at the matching chain that rested on the redhead's cheek.

"And, if you're alright with it…"

Roxas blushed even darker, desperately averting his eyes to the snow at their feet. Axel wondered why he looked so embarrassed until he murmured, "I would like for us to try… you know, um…." He lowered his voice even further, "To be together."

Axel felt raw lust thrum through his veins at the innocent statement. Axel felt like his whole body was on fire when he leaned over his lovely boyfriend and said in a husky voice, "What do you mean?"

Roxas's eyes were frantic, he was obviously embarrassed beyond belief as he forced the words out of his throat, "I want… to be with you… you know, um….."

He leaned up and gently whispered in Axel's right ear, the hot of breath shooting down Axel's spine- "_Physically_."

Axel let out a strangled moan, leaning over and wrapping his arms around the blonde, his face planted atop Roxas's hat.

"Roxas, don't feel like your obligated to do that. I know that you need time," Axel bit out, the words contradictory to how Axel really felt. Axel wanted to reach down and grab Roxas and fucking _touch _the boy everywhere; pleasure him until he screamed.

Roxas shook his head, "I just…"

Axel kissed him, their lips meeting chastely. Roxas felt perfect when he was simply kissing Axel, and it made him wonder if doing_ that_ would make him feel more amazing. People always talked about sex and he pondered how such an experience would feel with someone he really liked.

The couple pulled away after a long moment, puffs of air coming out as mist.

Axel couldn't do anything but stare helplessly into blue eyes. His gaze was so enchanting. Roxas's eyes always explained what his words failed to do. Axel could see the passion, and the unconscious lust. The innocent teenager didn't know what he wanted; he just knew he wanted it.

Axel bit his lip, whispering frantically, "Are you absolutely** sure**, Roxas? That...you want this? Want me?"

That look made Roxas tremble. Sparks flew in those inimitable green eyes; Axel's emotions were completely bared for Roxas to see. Roxas understood the look of hopeless want in his boyfriend's gaze and it comforted him. Axel was looking at Roxas like he was the only person on the whole planet worth looking at. It made Roxas feel beautiful.

Roxas took a step forward, "I _want _you," he stated in a low voice he didn't recognize.

And the next thing he knew Axel was pulling him away from Terra's house, down the sidewalk hand-in-hand. Roxas felt his sweaty grip, Axel looked uncharacteristically nervous.

They were practically jogging towards his house. For once Axel didn't slow down to accommodate Roxas's shorter strides.

They got back in twenty minutes flat, both chilled from the cold but panting. As they went through Axel's front door Roxas quickly flipped his phone out, swiftly texting Xion to tell her they had gone back home for the night.

When Axel silently led him up to his bedroom, Roxas began to feel nervous. He was worried that he wouldn't meet up to Axel's expectations when it came to more… physical contact.

Axel slammed the bedroom door shut behind him, his arms around Roxas as soon as they were safely inside.

Axel was breathing heavily from the exertion; Roxas could hear his heart racing as the redhead hugged him tightly. He was warm and smelled so familiar. Roxas was silently wondering at Axel's tight expression.

He looked like he was struggling with something.

"Axel?" Roxas breathed.

Axel finally led him over to the bed, sitting him down. Axel was glancing around his room aimlessly. He finally took awkwardly shrugged off his coat. Roxas followed by pulling his own coat, scarf, and hat off. Then they sat in silence as Roxas waited for Axel to collect his thoughts.

"Listen, Roxas, I just… I want to say, um, _fuck_." Axel cursed, turning on the bed to face him, "I just want you to know that I'm-" Axel seemed to bite his tongue for a moment.

Roxas leaned closer to him, letting his hand fall to Axel's leg. Axel glanced back at him, and seemed to gather his nerves again. He took a deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut and blurted out-

"Roxas, I'm stupid with love for you. You are all I can ever fucking think about. I know we haven't known each other for that long, but I have never been so… unable to function without another person."

Roxas stared up at him, paralyzed.

"I honestly can't imagine any day without you. You are my opposite and my compliment. We have so much in common and I feel like we've known each other for my whole life. I will support anything and everything you choose to do,"

Roxas felt tears prick his eyes as Axel leaned forward, their foreheads bumping together. Roxas shut his eyes while his whole body was trembling.

"Roxas, I have never felt as creative with my music. You inspire me like a muse," Axel gently tapped his lips against the blondes, "and I don't think I could ever possibly feel this way about –anyone- else, for as long as I live. I am _irrevocably_ in love with you."

Roxas finally opened his eyes, throwing his arms around Axel and bringing the man close to him. Roxas squeezed him tightly.

"Yes," Roxas breathed heavily into Axel's hair, "I know exactly how you feel. No one will ever captivate me like you have, because you are my-" Roxas leaned down and softly kissed his lips, "Axel. Only you."

Axel's self control broke, and he threw the smaller boy onto the bed with wild abandon. He didn't bother trying to be gentle, instead plastering his body to the blonde's and kissing him like he was dying.

His tongue swept deeply into Roxas's mouth, Roxas bringing his hands up to tangle in red spikes. Their tongues waged a battle of would-be dominance, both giving and taking as they saw fit.

Axel pulled back and fumbled with the bottom of Roxas's shirt, Roxas flew his hands into the air so Axel could tear away the offending fabric, desperately diving in to kiss the bare skin he exposed. Roxas's body felt more sensitive than he could ever remember. When Axel licked at his nipple and he could barely contain his voice. Burning hands were roaming all over his skin; he felt his pants growing tighter and he was panting softly.

Axel kissed him again on the mouth, their tongues meeting outside their lips. That kiss had nothing innocent about it. It was raw lust- so erotic it made Roxas insane with want. Roxas was quickly moving to pull up Axel's shirt away. Axel threw it off; Roxas touching the taunt muscle he'd been admiring since the first night he met his boyfriend. His fingers began pressing down smooth skin, admiring every inch of the toned body before him.

Roxas didn't know much about having sex but he knew it involved both parties getting butt naked. And Roxas wanted to see Axel naked. _So badly._

Roxas started moaning loudly as Axel's knee began to grind against his groin. His cheeks were pink; he was kissing at every inch of Axel's skin near him, his nails digging into his back. Axel suddenly rolled on top of him, pushing him down to the mattress and kissing down his neck before dipping his tongue into Roxas's belly button. Roxas felt his lungs heave as he was watched Axel anxiously. Axel's eyes never left his, the man looked so mischievous.

Axel was so fucking turned on there were no words. He felt clumsy, unbridled.

Roxas was everything he had ever wanted in a lover, all wrapped up in this innocent package that he wanted to quickly _taint_. The desperate look in those blue eyes brought Axel to his edge. He tugged at the button on Roxas's pants before slowly pulling them down, watching Roxas for any signs of resistance. Roxas gave none, instead lifting his slim hips to accommodate. With only his boxers on Roxas's arousal was prominent.

Axel brought his mouth down, letting his lips trace along the outlines of Roxas's erection through his boxers. Roxas was breathing heavily, his fingers trembling as he smoothed Axel's hair. Roxas was trying to keep control, trying to not let the heady feeling of Axel's breath on his most intimate place take him away.

Then Axel slipped his fingers into Roxas's boxers and touched the inflamed skin firmly. Roxas moaned louder, thrashing his head as Axel touched him. Axel stroked him slowly, blue eyes rolling back in ecstasy.

"Axel!" Roxas whimpered, his voice needy.

"Yes?" Axel replied breathlessly.

Roxas quickly leaned up, pushing at Axel until he was sitting. He began to unbutton Axel's pants; Axel leaned over and stood up to shimmy them off before crawling back onto the bed. Their heated bodies were becoming sticky, and Roxas was ready to sweat.

He let his hands roam freely around Axel's toned body, before tentatively rubbing against the redhead's hard-on over his boxers. Axel groaned when a small palm groped sensitive skin, Axel burying his face in Roxas's hair.

"Roxas," he moaned quietly, his throat raspy. Roxas had never found his name so erotic.

Roxas gulped, and quickly moved to rid his boyfriend of his boxers. It was now or never, really, and Roxas wanted this now.

Axel was now completely naked, laying spread eagle on his bed.

Roxas looked down at Axel's bare erection that was illuminated by the light from his window. A small trail of hair lead up his flat stomach, his tattoos stood out prominently. Roxas leaned down and kissed Axel's abs, his fingers tracing his boyfriend's thighs. He finally worked up his courage and blatantly groped Axel's manhood with his bare hand. It felt odd, touching another man's penis, but the noises Axel gave were worth his discomfort.

Roxas felt Axel tremble beneath him as he slowly left open-mouthed kisses up Axel's chest; it gave Roxas a feeling of empowerment. Like Axel was at his total mercy. Roxas finally reached Axel's clavicle, giving him a playful nip.

Their mouths met again moments later, open and unhinged. Axel wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck while positioning their bodies so they could properly grind against into other. Roxas moaned into Axel's mouth, the friction was driving him crazy.

Axel ground them together, his fingers curling around Roxas's cloth-covered ass. Roxas suddenly felt like there was far too much fabric and not enough skin.

He reached down and tugged off his own boxers, before easing down and letting their bare erection press firmly. Roxas felt sinful, he felt pleasured, and he began to rub his penis against Axel's in a way that made his skin burn. Axel reached between them, gripping both between his large hands and pumping firmly.

Roxas cried out as his body clenched, his head sharply bumping into Axel's. They sloppily kissed as Axel stroked them.

Roxas felt wild as he thrashed against Axel's sticky body, their skin pressed firmly. He cried out when Axel began thumbing at his tip, rubbing against the slit. Roxas brought his own hand between them as they began to mutually masturbate each other.

It was nothing like Roxas had ever felt; Axel's lips pressed against his throat, his manhood throbbing on him, heavy and hot and so fucking perfect. Roxas knew he was swiftly loosing control, his stomach was clenching as he felt himself reaching the edge.

Axel began pumping him faster, Roxas returning the favor with vigor. Axel brought his mouth to Roxas's neck, latching his teeth on the skin. The sensation made Roxas snap, his whole body alight as he came hard and fast into Axel's hands. He was trembling, his eyes tightly shut. Roxas silently came, the noise caught in his throat.

Axel watched Roxas intensely, the expression of pure pleasure on the blonde's face overwhelming him. Roxas gave him one last firm pump before Axel exploded, their semen mixing on his stomach. Axel was more vocal, his moan filling the room.

Roxas collapsed on his chest, panting, his fingers clutching into Axel's hair. Axel nuzzled happily, spooning his arms around Roxas and enjoying the feeling on their naked skin pressed together.

Roxas rolled off of him after a moment but remained firm at his side. Axel pecked his sweaty forehead, his whole body relaxed.

They stoked absently at each other's skin for a long moment.

Axel pulled Roxas up a few inches so that their faces were close. They leaned over and kissed softly, lazily. Roxas felt he would never want to kiss another set of lips in his entire life.

After they finally cooled off, Axel leaned down and pulled his comforter around them. Roxas was covered in Axel's musky scent; he felt his eyes flutter shut.

He was a little embarrassed now, as they were pressed up together, naked. But he was really too tired to care, and it was Axel after all. Roxas leaned up and fleetingly kissed his boyfriend one last time.

Axel whispered something into his ear, Roxas was already fast asleep.


	4. The future has not been determined yet

Liberated

Part IV. _The future has not been determined yet._

By DXMJUNKIE

XXX

A large snowstorm hit the Midwest a week before Christmas break. Roxas and his group of friends were all working frantically to finish different assignments or study for end-of-the-term exams.

Roxas and Axel barely had time to see each other. When they were together Roxas was working on multiple paintings with Axel rapidly scribbling scientific formulas into his notepad. Axel's room was starting to smell of sulfur from all the chemicals he brought home from his pyrotechnics class. Roxas could tell that Axel was at the end of his tether, so he tried to keep quiet when Axel was hard at work (which wasn't hard for the normally silent blond).

Demyx was equally busy with a huge solo performance at the Winter Ensemble coming up and he was incredibly nervous. Performing for a grade was always more strenuous than performing with his band, and Demyx wanted it to be perfect. Zexion was helping Dem practice in the studio when the bookworm wasn't off conducting laborious experiments in the science labs.

No one had seen Xion in a few days, Roxas had tried to text her multiple times but she was buried under her work. The last time he called her, Xion had mumbled something about ten yards of knitting patterns before hanging up. Even Larxene was stressed to the max. She was snapping at everyone whenever they gave her an excuse to do so. Roxas was staying out of her fire-zone, so he'd taken to sleeping in his dorm again.

Roxas scratched his head in frustration. He was mixing paints on a disposable plate that was perched on his desk. He had completed almost nine paintings in four months, no mean feat when he had spent at least twenty hours on each painting.

This painting was going to be his Christmas present to Axel, as well as his final project for his favorite painting class. When Axel wasn't looking Roxas had been quickly sketching his boyfriend in the margins of his notebooks. After Christmas was over, Roxas was very serious about paying his boyfriend to model for him.

He blushed when he thought about Axel modeling nude for him. He was sure that Axel would have no problem sitting in the buff for hours on end. Axel was extremely confident about his body. As he should be, Roxas thought. Axel had the ideal body type for someone like Roxas. Tall and lanky, the man was all smooth planes and dipping musculature.

His final painting was propped against the wall under his loft-bed, a newly added layer of pigment drying in front of a fan. He had painted Axel's back curved at an angle. Fire cascaded around his torso, the flames licking his skin. His hair had taken so long to get right, and Roxas had made sure to add his ear-cuff. You could see the sneer of one vibrant green eye, the shadow of a smirk.

Roxas had been very sneaky about the whole project because he wanted to get Axel's tattoos perfectly without arousing suspicion. The only time Roxas saw Axel's bare backside was when the man was changing clothes- rarely- or when he was making out with Roxas – not so rare.

So Roxas had made it a point to wrestle Axel out of his t-shirt almost once a night while they were grinding hips tightly, his eyes scanning that smooth skin to memorize the details of his tattoos. Axel hadn't seemed to notice, he had only mentioned that Roxas was getting more aggressive in bed.

'In bed' being a relative term. They still hadn't gone all the way, Axel was taking it slowly with him. Roxas was still incredibly embarrassed to be naked around the redhead, and they had only seriously fooled around twice after Terra's party. Roxas hoped he was at least getting better at the whole physical affection thing; he was kissing less sloppily and wouldn't tremble at the mere touch of the redhead's fingertips.

Most nights the couple would make-out and it would get a little heated, but Axel would always pull back because he had early morning classes. Roxas could tell that this was pretty painful for Axel, and that the man desperately wanted to continue, but he was shutting himself down early for Roxas's benefit. It made Roxas feel guilty, and he'd been doing some extensive online research to get caught up on all the physical aspects of sex that he lacked common sense about. The incognito window in Google Chrome was his lifesaver.

Blue eyes flickered onto the almost-finished canvas on his floor. There was still four days of classes left but once Roxas finished this painting he would be done for the semester. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with all his free time but he figured that he would go job hunting.

He would start that after he finished this painting. Roxas wanted Axel to love his painting and he wanted it to be perfect. Axel had been so supportive of his art, and he wanted to give something that the redhead would never forget. So he was painstakingly using a miniscule brush to accomplish the smaller details. Each individual line of the tattoos stood out, each muscle painstakingly rendered to reality.

Roxas bit the end of his paintbrush, groaning in frustration. Something about the painting wasn't lifelike enough, it didn't pop with emotion like Roxas's mental image of Axel accomplished. After all, he was still a novice greenhorn, not a master painter.

His cell phone chirped from the charger on his desk, Roxas reaching over and flipping it open. It was Zexion.

"Hey Zexion, what's up?" Roxas asked while leaning back against the chair.

"Hey, Roxas, I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor?" The scientist's voice sounded hoarse over the phone.

"Sure, what's up?"

"I left one of my textbooks with Demyx the other night. He said it's in your room, on his desk."

Roxas slide his gaze over to his roommate's desk, immediately spotting the textbook. He could tell it was Zexion's because not only was it a molecular chemistry guide, and it was also fifteen times thicker than every other book on the desk.

"Could you please bring it to the science building? Dem is in practice till late, and I really need it to finish this experiment today."

"Yeah, sure," Roxas said, standing up and grabbing the book. "Wanna meet me outside that building in like ten minutes, by those gates?"

"That would be amazing. Thank you for your help." Zexion told him earnestly.

Roxas shook his head despite being over the phone, "Anything to help,"

He went to the closet and fished out one of the jackets Axel had lent him for winter. Axel was freezing cold most of the time so he owned more winter jackets than was probably considered normal. Roxas liked Axel's clothes because not only did they all fit him perfectly but also because they smelled like the man- all musk and smoke. Roxas made sure to keep switching out the jackets he borrowed, just to make sure they didn't lose the redhead's sensual scent.

Roxas threw a jacket on and heaved the large book under his arm before skipping down the steps out into campus. The snow was up to his waist with the sidewalks dangerously icy.

Roxas was miserable in this winter weather, he already hated snow with a fitful passion. When he' been younger on the Islands the kids in his school always talked about snow like it was the coolest thing ever. After only a few months Roxas begged to differ.

Roxas briskly walked toward _'Nerdsville'_ as Axel called it. It was only six in the afternoon was but it was already almost dark out. Roxas watched his breath mist up, switching his hold on the heavy book every few steps. His feet crunched underneath the snow, and Roxas listened to the sound while his mind was traveling in a thousand different directions.

He saw Zexion in his white lab coat next to the gates a moment later. Zexion's cheeks were flushed and he looked exhausted. His face was sallow and he had clearly shed a couple pounds.

"Zexion?" Roxas called out, waving his hand. Zexion nodded faintly in return.

"You look like shit." Roxas said bluntly, with his hand on his hip in a very Axel-like gesture.

Zexion rolled his eyes before smiling wryly, "Thanks."

"No, but seriously," Roxas stepped forward and forced his hand out of his pocket, letting his palm rest against Zexion's forehead.

"Zexion, you're burning up!" Roxas yelped.

Zexion stepped away from him after taking the book from his arms, "I know, I know," he said blithely, "but right now is not a good time for me to be sick. I have a whole series of germ cultures to examine and catalogue, let alone three finals to study for."

Roxas frowned at him, logically telling the man, "You're going to burn out and perform worse if you don't get some sleep."

Zexion leaned against the building, looking tempted by the idea of sleep, "I know."

They stood silent for a long moment before Roxas finally crossed his arms, clucking his tongue like a mother hen. He shook his head briskly.

"Zexion, you are coming back with me. Your cars in the shop, right? It's too damn far to walk to your house with this weather. So you're coming back to my dorm to sleep."

Zexion quickly shook his head no, "No, Roxas, I'm okay-"

"Bullshit, you're okay." Roxas retorted, cutting him off, "If you don't come with me right now, I'm going to call Demyx and we both know how easy it will be for him to persuade you. He'll threaten to skip his orchestra practice, I promise you."

Zexion finally glared at him, "Don't call Dem, and I really don't have _time_ to sleep."

"No shit, Sherlock. But you are going to anyway. So let's go fetch your backpack and say bye to your nice lab-mates, and get you to a warm bed." Roxas firmly grabbed Zexion's arm, pulling him back inside and up the stairs.

Roxas had met up with Zexion at his lab multiple times so he knew exactly where it was. When they got into the lab Roxas saw a few of Zexion's group mates, Vexen and Marluxia. They were bent over microscopes, bantering to each other. He nodded at them when they glanced up, snatching Zexion's book from under his arm and throwing it on the table.

"Hey, I know you guys are busy, but I'm taking Zexion back with me," Roxas said loudly, putting his hand on Zexion's shoulder.

"Oh, ho!" Marluxia smiled up at him over the rims of his silver glasses, "So aggressive. Thought you already had another boyfriend, trying to juggle two?"

Roxas scoffed giving the man a cursory glance, "You don't have to be a fucking scientist to see that Zexion is sick."

Vexen nodded as he set down a Petri dish, "I'm going to agree with the kid on this one. Zexion, go get some sleep. Marly and I can cover you for the night. Just come back bright and early tomorrow."

Zexion opened his mouth to say something but Marluxia cut him off, shooing the man with his hand out of the door.

Roxas nodded gratefully at them, worried about his friend as he pulled him along. Zexion was silent as they walked back together. He was shuffling his feet.

"Sorry to trouble you," Zexion murmured, he sounded a little embarrassed. Roxas almost didn't hear him.

Roxas gave him a small smile, hand coming up to rest on Zexion's arm as they walked. "You need to take better care of yourself. You work yourself too hard. I mean, you manage to throw all your free time into hanging out with Dem when your not pulling full credits _and _conducting a thesis project."

Zexion's cheeks flushed a little darker, "I know, I know."

Roxas chuckled lightly as they reached his dorm; he pulled out his keycard and inserted it into the door. The light clicked on after a moment, Roxas held it wide open for Zexion.

They got to his dorm, Roxas flipping on the lights and moving to close the curtains. They could hear the faint thrum of music pounding from a neighboring room.

"You can take Dem's bed-" He told Zexion over his shoulder.

"No way. The floor is fine." Zexion said stonily.

Roxas pushed the small man in the direction of the loft bed with one arm. "Demyx won't care. In fact, I'm sure he will be thrilled at the idea of you sleeping in his bed."

Zexion gave him a wry look, but began to take off his coat and place it on Demyx's desk. He still had his white lab coat on underneath and it made him look smaller. He pulled that off too, shivering as his body ached in protest.

"I'm going to run to the pharmacy real quick and pick you up some cold medicine. What kind of symptoms have you been having?" Roxas grabbed his wallet from his desk.

"Roxas you don't need to do all of this. It's really unnecessary," Zexion replied as he toed off his shoes.

Roxas shook his head and pressed, "No, Zexion. This is what _family _does for each other. So what symptoms?"

Zexion looked at him for a long silent moment before he sighed loudly, he obviously had nothing to argue with. He was looking at his sock-covered feet petulantly.

"I'm achy and my throats really sore, I think I'm a little feverish."

"Sore throat, fever," Roxas mumbled, making a mental note. He finally smiled at his friend, grabbing his skateboard.

"Go to sleep, I'm get some take out soup from the Acoustic Cafe for you to eat when you take your medicine, your favorite is the beer and cheese, right?"

Zexion murmured a thank you, Roxas shutting the door behind him. He grabbed his cell phone out of his jacket pocket, scrolling to Demyx's number before dialing.

"'ello?" Demyx said, his voice breathless.

"Hey Dem, what are you up to?"

"Oh my _god_, the conductor has a serious stick up his ass today. He's making us repeat the crescendo like fifty times. He keeps saying that our timing is off, but it's not fucking off- he's just a fucking jerk." Demyx cursed loudly. The hippie only cussed when he was really upset. He would always call himself a 'swearbear' when he did so, only to try and act cute.

"Well I have something to tell you that will make you feel better."

"Oh? What? I need good news."

"Haha, not good news per say," Roxas crossed the street, shifting the phone to his other hand. "Zexion's asleep in your bed right now, he was feeling feverish so I dragged him back with me when I went to give him that text book."

"_WHAT_!" Demyx yelped loudly into the phone, making Roxas wince.

"Zexion. Is sleeping. In my **bed**." Demyx enunciated the words slowly, his voice full of disbelief. Roxas could vividly imagine the thoughts running through the musician's head. The poor guy was probably trying not to have a nosebleed.

"Yep. I'm running to the pharmacy to get cold meds for him." Roxas saw Walgreen's ahead; he quickly dove into the store, desperate to get out of the cold.

"Aw, man! I have to be here until at least eight!" Demyx whined loudly.

"Don't worry, I'm taking care of him. You can baby him when you get back. Buy him some chocolates or something, you know how addicted to them he is." Roxas mentioned slyly. He had been doing everything in his power to make Demyx express his feelings for Zexion, even if it was through a gift. Demyx hummed in response.

"Oh, yeah. By the way-" Demyx added, "You aren't going home for the holidays, right?"

Roxas frowned, "No, I can't afford a plane ticket home."

"So were you planning on staying in Mad Town?"

"Yep, that was the plan." He sounded melancholy.

"Well I was talking to Cloud yesterday, and he was saying that they need an extra hand at the skate shop. You know the one on State Street?"

Roxas blinked, and got excited, "Really? Monkeywrench Skate Emporium? That would be amazing!"

"Yeah, I know, right? Well you had said that you needed a job, and I told him you would be more than happy. Said how you work hard and stuff. Cloud told me he trusts someone from his hometown more than a rando. I'm going to text you his number, you should give him a call to firm things down."

"Thanks Dem," Roxas said warmly. His roommate was always helping him out.

"No problemo, dude. Check yah later. Be nice to my Zexion!"

Roxas hung up, his eyes finally perusing the merchandise. He grabbed a couple things for fevers, thinking about his new job. He had always wanted to work at a skateboarding store, he knew everything about that stuff, but back home Hayner's family ran the only shop on their Island. It had mostly been surfing merchandise anyway. After Roxas stopped talking to Hayner he was banned from the store, which had been a hard blow because he couldn't buy new wheels for his board.

And now he had a chance to work somewhere for something he genuinely liked.

Roxas paid for the medicine and he pulled out his phone again as he walked back outside. He dialed Axel this time, waiting patiently for the man to answer.

"Hey, babe." Axel's deep voice still made Roxas's heart flutter.

"Hey," Roxas smiled into the receiver, "I found a job over winter break!"

"Oh, really? That's so cool. Where at?"

"Monkeywrench Skate Emporium. Cloud works there and Dem recommended me."

"That's perfect for you Rox! Congrats!" Axel said enthusiastically over the phone. Roxas nodded, pleased with himself.

"I'm excited."

"When do you start?"

"Not sure yet, but I'm going to call Cloud and ask him… Still, it's gonna suck being here all alone for Christmas break." Roxas sounded glum at the idea. He had been trying not to think about the couple weeks where everyone would leave and he would be stranded on campus alone.

Axel seemed to think about this for a moment, "Well, Roxas, now that you mention that I was going to ask you this anyway. I'm heading home to Chicago for the holidays and I asked my step-dad if you could come with."

"You told your dad about me?" Roxas was a little shocked. Axel hadn't informed him about that little tidbit. He was apparently out to his parents? Wow.

"Haha, _yeah_, Roxas. Of course I did. And he's totally cool with it. My dad's quite a character, you'll see. He's a hardass mechanic with a huge potty mouth. Anyways, if you can tell Cloud that you can't start working till January 1st, we can go down together in on the 23rd. Chicago is really fun, we can go out on a proper date."

Roxas nodded, before realizing Axel couldn't see it over the phone, "Yes, of course. That will be amazingly epic, Axel. Thank you."

Axel's voice was warm, "Kay babe. I gotta get back to work, I'm on break. I get done at nine; I'll stop by your dorm on my way home. Love you."

Roxas blushed, suddenly feeling shy. Axel had only recently begun to say that on a daily basis. He always said those words easily, casually, as if was the most natural thing to do. Roxas wondered if he would ever be able to do the same.

"Yeah, me too." Roxas responded quietly.

Roxas stopped at the Acoustic Café to pick up some beer and cheese soup for Zexion before trekking home. It was swiftly getting dark out, and his fingers were numb from the bitter cold.

Zexion was passed out when he got back, his back turned to him. Roxas smiled up at his friend, grabbing the cold medicine and pouring a small shot of red liquid. Roxas hated the liquid kind of medicine himself, but he knew it was more powerful than the gel-pill.

He climbed onto Dem's chair and shook his friend awake, watching him roll over blearily. Zexion looked out of it, he was sweating.

"Here," Roxas watched as Zexion took the shot, smacking his lips in disgust.

"Want your soup now or later?" He asked quietly, reaching down and pulling another blanket up that was falling off the loft-bed.

"Later," Zexion blearily croaked out, his head hitting the pillow again a second later. Roxas hopped down and got the poor guy a bottled water from their mini-fridge. Zexion chugged half of the bottle while still lying down, trying to get rid of the nasty after taste. He propped the plastic container against the wall, curling his slim body around the blankets.

"This bed smells like Dem," Zexion mentioned sleepily as he turned his face into the pillow, his voice deliriously happy. Zexion could not think of a better way to end his horrible day. Wrapped up in Dem's bed that smelled like the ocean. The scientist found it both sweet and alluring.

Roxas walked back to his desk, snorting in amusement at Zexion's obvious affection for his roommate. Zexion was snoring a moment later. Roxas flipped open his laptop, clicking into his iTunes and selecting a playlist.

He opened his email, and immediately recognizing his brother's name in the inbox. He rapidly selected the email; it had been the first communication from his brother in months. He quickly skimmed its contents, feeling as though another rock had been shoved down his throat.

"_Roxas,"_ it read,

_"Dad must have emailed you about moving to France. Try and be happy for him, I know that must be hard for someone like _you_. Don't bother coming home for Christmas. Nobody really misses you here anyway since you weren't on good terms with any of your old friends when you left. Now you have your new life at your fancy school on the mainland. Good luck with that."_

Roxas felt tears prick the back of his eyes. He tried to imagine Sora, his cheerful naïve and happy-go-lucky brother type out this email. He was sure that Riku had been over his shoulder, telling him to add things. He quickly put the email into his trash bin, deleting it forever before he could reread the painful words it contained.

Roxas wondered what he had done to deserve this. To be not only rejected by his father but by his own older brother. And for what exactly? Being who he was? Roxas suddenly felt bitter, and spiteful. He had never done anything to hurt those people and they were still looking down on his him.

Roxas quickly typed out a reply to his brother, his fingers rapidly pounding on the keyboard. He began glaring down at his Macbook, undeniably angry. His teeth were idly toying with his lip ring, something he only did when he was agitated. The words he wrote reflected his frustration.

_"Sora-"_ his response bitterly stated,

_"Thanks for your thoughtful response. I'm glad to know where I stand. I'll have you know that I'm incredibly happy here. People in Madison are genuine and kind, unlike back at home where everyone wants to sneer at each other's accomplishments. I'm getting excellent grades in my 'pointless' art courses, and have a job at a skate store with Cloud Strife. He goes to school here too, and he thinks the Islands are just as boring as I do. I don't plan on coming home for a very long time, if ever, so no need to worry about that. I'm sure that will be hard for someone like _you. __

_I have a new family in this beautiful city. They love me unconditionally and don't play favorites. I know at least that I'm embracing life more fully than you or your narcissistic closed-minded friends_."

Roxas reread his words silently. He had never written such a cruel message, it made him feel guilty. But if his brother had easily sent that email, he could just as easily respond.

After a moment of indecision he sent the message before getting off the Internet in disgust. Zexion was mumbling in his sleep behind him.

Roxas put his headphones on and blared an angry punk band, grabbing Axel's portrait and staring at it before gently turning the artwork so it faced the wall - if Axel was going to stop by he didn't want to accidentally spoil his present. Roxas grabbed a blank canvas, propping it against the desk.

Roxas loved blank canvases. It made him feel like the world was wide open to him; he could decorate that canvas with anything. He could pour his emotions into the pigment, and stain it any color he wanted.

Roxas began painting, not caring about composition or forethought. He didn't stop until Demyx was tapping on his shoulders almost two hours later, smiling down at him.

Demyx had some take-out Chinese in hand and some chocolates in the other. He looked tired, but happy.

Roxas pulled his headphones off, pausing his music.

"How was practice?" He whispered.

"Good," Demyx told him in the same hushed voices, "You can make the opening performance on the 20th, right?"

Roxas nodded his affirmation, "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Demyx pulled his coat off, resting it atop Zexion's. He climbed up to his bed, shaking the sleeping man softly while humming softly into his ear.

Zexion cracked an eye open, mumbling something inaudible. He sat up, and rubbed his eyes, his hair scrunched from sleep. Demyx beamed at him, he thought Zexion looked adorable when he woke up. Demyx didn't even notice Zexion's obvious fever; his affection for the man blinded him against such faults.

"Hey," Zexion croaked, "Sorry about infecting your bed with my germs."

Demyx shook his head, pushing his chocolate present onto the pillow. Zexion stared blankly down at the gift before taking the box in his hands and anxiously murmuring a thank you. His cheeks were flushed red, and Roxas was positive that it was his roommate who caused such a reaction, not the fever.

"I can crash next to Roxas tonight," Demyx told him cheerfully. "Don't worry about a thing dear, just focus on feeling better."

"Do you want any soup?" Roxas asked up at him from his desk.

Zexion finally remembered that Roxas was there, before nodding, his fingers delicately opening the box of chocolates. "Yeah, and probably some more of that disgusting cold stuff."

Roxas got up, pouring another shot of cold medicine into the plastic cup. He handed it up to Zexion, who tipped it down his throat before popping a chocolate in his mouth to get rid of the putrid taste. Roxas grabbed the soup from atop the fridge before nuking it in the microwave for a few minutes.

"Whatcha paintin'?" Dem asked him, peering over at the paint-smeared canvas.

"Don't really know," Roxas responded, "Just painting what I'm feeling."

Zexion leaned over and stared at the canvas before thoughtfully saying, "The colors are melancholy."

Demxy blinked at the scientist in surprise. Roxas nodded, "Yeah, I'm not in a great mood right now. My stupid brother sent me a nasty email, telling me not to ever come home because nobody misses me."

Demyx squawked loudly, "No way! That's horrible, Roxas."

Roxas looked bleak, "Yeah, I know."

Zexion took another chocolate out of the box. "You don't have a good relationship with your family?"

Roxas had forgotten that Zexion didn't know about the letter from his father. He was also relieved that Demyx had kept his word and not told the dark haired man about it.

"No, not really." He averted his eyes, Demyx picking up on the cue to change the subject.

"Oh, Cloud's number!" Demyx practically shouted, pulling out his aqua-colored phone. "I forgot to text it to you cause of practice. Oh, Zexy, guess what? I found Roxas a job at the skate shop on State Street!"

Zexion nodded, quickly accepting the change in conversation, "That's awesome, Roxas." he told the boy sincerely. Demyx pouted at up at him with pitiful eyes, clearly wanting some attention for his good deed. Zexion patted his spiked Mohawk for a long moment; Demyx curled onto his bed, relaxing like a cat under the soft fingers.

The microwave went off, Roxas pulling the soup out and handing it up to his friend before plopping in his chair.

Roxas bit idly on his lip ring, shifting so that he was sitting cross-legged. He watched his friend's converse with each other and remembered the words that he had sent to Sora. He had said that these people were his family now. Roxas understood the firm truth behind those words.

Zexion was blowing on his soup, listening to Demyx rant about his music practice and the hardass conductor. When they finally grew quiet, Roxas decided to speak.

"Zexion, do you get along with your family?" Roxas asked. Dem plopped down the shelf of his desk, his bare feet resting in the chair.

"No, not particularly." Zexion replied and paused before curtly adding, "I haven't spoken to either of them in about five years."

Demyx looked a little surprised. He had obviously never heard about this before. However, one of Demyx's saving graces what that he knew when to ask probing questions and when to remain silent.

Demyx, in this situation, chose to not say a word.

A loud knock broke the group from their collective reverie, Axel's red spikes poked through the cracked door.

"Hey," he greeted pleasantly, padding over to his boyfriend and kissing blonde spikes. He noticed Zexion after a moment.

"Zexion? You okay, man? You kinda look like shit." Axel asked, frowning in concern. Zexion half-heartedly glared back at him, not really appreciating the comment against his appearance.

"Oh," Roxas spoke, "I forgot to mention that on the phone earlier. Yeah, Zexy looked like he was going to _die_ so I dragged him back here for some nice soup and effective painkillers."

Zexion gave Roxas a deadpan expression. "It wasn't that dramatic."

"I saved your life, Zexion. You could at least show some gratitude." Roxas said seriously, though his eyes looked mischievous. Axel was glancing around his boyfriend's room, green eyes resting thoughtfully at his unfinished painting for a long beat.

"Well," Axel broke his train of thought, "Dem is gonna need a place to sleep tonight since his bed is occupied. Zexion obviously isn't going anywhere," Axel added dryly. "Roxas, why don't you come stay with me tonight? Dem can crash on your bed."

Demyx giggled, his face still lying close to Zexion's knee, "I'm sure your intentions are completely selfless."

Axel pointedly ignored that comment and glanced down at his quiet artist, "Want to?"

Roxas was silent for a moment, he absentmindedly propped his index finger to pursed lips and gazed off into space.

"Tomorrow I have Freeman's class at nine, but all my stuff should be in my locker on campus. Okay, so I will need-" He shuffled around his room, putting his Macbook into a backpack, along with a clean shirt and some old jeans. He stuffed a sketchbook in after, and his checkered print case of charcoal pencils. After pulling his cell phone charger out of the wall, he zipped the backpack shut.

"Ready. Well, you kiddies be good tonight. No wild shenanigans," Roxas told Demyx and Zexion. "And be to bed by ten."

"Yes, mother!" Demyx chirped, looking very pleased. Dem was truthfully a little excited about sleeping with Zexion in the same room again. The last time they had done so, they had been drunk (Dem had been drunk), and it was the prelude to a… rather sloppy kiss before they fell asleep.

Axel gave a quick wave, "Feel better Zexy."

"Don't call me that." Zexion whined, sounding pitiful with his stuffy nose. He looked petulant as he scooped up some more soup, slurping it loudly.

"Talk to you guys later," Roxas quickly winked at Dem before grabbing his boyfriend's hand and pulling him out of the room.

Axel was chuckling to himself as they walked down the hall, swinging Roxas' hand through the air, "That was easy."

Roxas made an amused sound; he was feeling loads better now that he was alone with Axel, hand in hand. Like it had always been that way.

They got outside, Axel pulling his scarf tighter and Roxas disappearing under his hood. Axel shoved their joined hands into the large pocket of his coat. It was snowing again, thick flakes falling beautifully under the artificial lamps.

"Sora emailed me today." Roxas finally said, not sure why he was volunteering this information.

"And?"

"He told me not to come home because nobody misses me."

Axel squeezed his hand but remained silent.

"I replied to him," Roxas sounded thoughtful as he continued, "I told him that I had better friends here, that we were like family. Then I bragged a bit about working with Cloud- that would drive Riku, Seifer, and Hayner batshit crazy."

Axel stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the sidewalk. Roxas looked up at him from under his hood. The snow made Axel's hair stand out even more, his perceptive green eyes calm and content and patiently waiting.

Axel brought his free hand up to cup Roxas's face, gingerly playing with the chain that was omnipresent against his cheek. Roxas didn't really notice his piercings much anymore, but Axel loved to play with the chain. Roxas felt the jacket's hood drop back, snow falling softly onto his hair and resting on his long eyelashes.

"I'm happy you trust me this much." Axel said earnestly.

Roxas frowned, "What do you mean?"

Axel leaned down and brushed his dry lips against his lovers. It was the faintest kiss, very languidly gentle. Roxas felt his eyes flutter shut of their own accord. Axel pulled back, giving him that same peaceful look.

"Because when I first met you, I could barely get you to string five words together." Axel teased quietly, pulling back and resuming their journey home with his arm slung over the others shoulder.

"I've always been quiet," Roxas told him. "Even as a kid."

Axel nodded and reminded him, "Yet, now you openly tease your roommate about having his crush overnight. You tell me this stuff that I'm sure you've never known how to properly express to other people."

"I do?"

"Well," Axel smirked, "You are still like the shyest kid on this side of the planet, but with your punk exterior nobody would ever guess. I'll keep _that_ a secret, just for myself."

Roxas glanced at him, his eyes mirthful. "You know, I sort of pity Sora."

Axel waited for him to give offer his explanation. Roxas deeply appreciated that Axel would patiently let him work the words out. He never felt rushed; not many people made Roxas feel that way.

"Sora will never leave that place. I mean, sure, he'll go to vacation to some resort with dad's money, but he will always live on the Islands." Roxas idly swung their joined hands back and forth. He lowered his voice, deep in thought about his home. He had such mixed feelings about the place he was born.

"For me, staying in that place was like being trapped in some stupid game. It was beautiful, and idealistic… but everyone knew what your exact place in society was. They lived in this monotonous idle that drove me crazy."

He gave a fleeting squeeze to Axel's hand, "You know, there was one time that I didn't speak to anyone for nearly six months?"

Axel flinched, his eyes looked sad and distant for a moment. Roxas watched this reaction carefully out of the corner of his eye.

"I did it as a rebellion." Roxas stated, as his voice was getting louder with conviction. "I've never told anyone this, but I did it to get back at them for how boring they were. I felt like it was the only way to protest. I didn't want to be apart of that stupid shit, so I completely ignored it. It was during this time that my friends stopped talking to me. Now that I think about it, it was probably because I wouldn't say a word."

They reached Axel's house, pausing outside the front door. Axel ruffled his blond hair; it was damp from the snow.

"_That_ is one of the many reasons why you are not some poser-punk, Rox. You earned those piercings, I knew that from the moment I met you." Axel grinned wickedly at the memory, "You were totally quiet that first night, getting you to talk was like pulling teeth. But then you smoked and just started opening up of all the sudden."

Axel bent down, bringing his face close with an absent grin, "You may not have said much, but your eyes were just _wild _that night. Like nobody could fucking touch you even if they tried. It felt like being cut with a razor blade when you looked at me, I fucking _loved_ it."

Roxas snorted, "You make me sound like a raging lunatic."

Axel chuckled, "Oh, but all the best people are."

Roxas swatted him away after giving him an incredulously playful look. He opened the front door, spotting Larxene bouncing in front of the TV. She was working out on her Wii Fit.

Roxas cringed and thought she looked quite agitated, so he threw a fake smile in her direction and began hopping up the stairs to Axel's room with his tail between his legs.

Axel dropped his bag to the floor, flopping onto his bed face first before loudly groaning, "Long day!"

Roxas fell onto the bed next to him, burying his face in the shoulder of his redhead's oversized coat. Roxas peeked up at Axel, cerulean gaze both tender and ethereal. Axel brushed more wet snow off the kid's shoulders, Roxas shivering when an icy trail of water rolled down his back.

"I'm really happy I'll be spending Christmas with you," Roxas told him, eyes fluttering closed.

"Yeah, me too." Axel agreed, sitting up after a moment and throwing his scarf to the floor. "And there was no way in hell I was going to leave you alone during the holidays!"

Axel nodded to himself. Roxas watched his boyfriend get to his feet and begin to wander around his room, throwing laundry into the hamper and plugging in his laptop. Even when Axel was being mundane he was so fascinating to watch. A swell of affection made the blonde's chest throb.

Axel listened to him, heard him out, no matter what. What Roxas would have_ sacrificed_ to have someone like that back home when he was younger. Someone who would just** listen** to him, no matter how long the words took to get out of his mouth.

Roxas knew that people assumed because he didn't talk much he had nothing to say. But Roxas did have opinions. He had been silently screaming that he was hurting but had felt like nobody was interested. After Namine had moved away and his friends started ignoring him… he had been eclipsed by isolation. He was certain he would be lonely for the rest of his life, that nobody would express an interest in his mind or thoughts.

But then Axel was standing next to him, tall and cocky and so fucking casually nonchalant. With his tattoos and piercings and fiery hair and exuberantly sarcastic repertoire. This punk of a man who was patient, thoughtful and a tad bit needy but also incredibly bold and headstrong… Roxas felt his eyes glaze when he thought about it.

This man had somehow come to love him, somehow grown to need him around. Axel touched him like he was delicate, and looked at him with this intense attraction and affection. He openly expressed his feelings, easily bridged any gap Roxas might impose.

Even when Roxas closed his eyes he could vibrantly vizualize Axel's exact shade of green beneath his lids. Roxas finally huffed in a breath of air, fully knowing which words he had chosen to break the silence. The artist knew that his pyro had been waiting for this particular sentiment, and he needed to act like a man and leave no question unanswered.

"I'm in love with you, Axel McKenna." He said firmly, his eyes fixed on his boyfriend (who was currently hunched over and printing off a term paper in the corner of his room).

Axel's jolted, nearly ripped the documents he had been holding. He spun his upper body around, mouth dropping as he let out a surprised laugh, a grin splitting across his face.

Axel was next to Roxas in a heartbeat. He plopped playfully on top of the boy while spreading Eskimo kisses around his face. Roxas giggled- actually giggled- and couldn't help but hug Axel warmly, his finger clinging tightly to fabric.

"I really mean it." Roxas whispered in his ear, red hair tickling his cheek.

"I know you do," Axel whispered back, "I can see it in your eyes."

They kissed, both matching each other pace for pace. Roxas laughed breathlessly, throwing his head back while his heart nearly burst. In Axel's arms, with playful banter and nothing hidden- this was his Utopia. He was liberated from everything the world expected him to be, everything his father had though he lacked. The only thing that mattered was in Axel's mind, Roxas was **important**.

Their bodies melted together, cheeks still flushed from the bitter cold outside. Axel nuzzled into Roxas's cheek, licking his way down a slender neck. Roxas felt his body shiver in anticipation, he always felt incredibly aroused when he was around Axel.

Roxas bit his lip before sitting up and throwing his weight against Axel, pinning the older man under him. Roxas wasn't really sure what he was doing, but he knew that all this abstinence had to be hard for his lover and right now what they both needed was a good stress reliever. Roxas quickly pulled Axel out of his coat and shirt, chucking the items like they had deeply offended him across the room.

Roxas gazed down at his boyfriend with what he hoped were sensual eyes, resting up over his knees and zipping off his coat. He flung it off the bed, before letting his hands slowly pull his shirt up. He began rubbing his exposed stomach, teasingly taking his time.

Roxas was soon half naked, staring down at his boyfriend with the same eyes that nearly stopped Axel's heart. They were naughty, aggressive, mysterious, innocent, and all focused on Axel.

Axel felt shivers roll down his spine, blood pooling between his legs as he tried to keep a clear head. Axel reached his hands up to touch the blonde, but Roxas forcefully pinned them back against the mattress, roughly kissing his way down the redhead's chest.

Roxas let his tongue roll over a peaked nipple, Axel groaning in frustration as Roxas nibbled the pink nub. Roxas lifted his mouth to sharply bite Axel's neck, forcing the man to remain idle. Roxas let his hands run down his boyfriend's exposed flesh; he quickly nudged his knees apart and fumbled to unbutton Axel's jeans.

Axel's arousal was obvious through his pants, Roxas leaning down to smother kisses across the taunt abdomen. Roxas let his tongue dip into Axel's belly button. Axel was watching him with anxious eyes with the blonde frantically pulling at his pants. Axel eagerly lifted his hips, Roxas forcing the fabric down.

Roxas let his fingers glide over sharp hipbones above black boxers; he was tracing the lines of a tattoo. Axel was quietly panting, he was going crazy with tension and lust. Roxas began to peel Axel's remaining fabric down, his erection jutting into the air. Axel was so much… larger than him in that area.

Roxas firmly stroked it with slender fingers, Axel leaning up onto his elbows to get a better view. Clouded cerulean eyes met a needy green, Roxas letting his pink tongue dart out of his mouth to lap at the swollen member. It didn't taste very pleasant, but Roxas knew from experience how it _felt_.

Axel groaned sharply at the sight. Roxas began to wetly wrap around his tip, running the end of his tongue into Axel's slit before taking the head into his mouth. It was obvious that Roxas had never done this before, and that fact only served to arouse Axel even more. The sloppy way he pleasured him drove him mad.

This boy, this kid he'd fallen in love with… Axel could never quite wrap his mind around it.

Roxas began bobbing his head, taking the shaft into his mouth. He couldn't go very far down, so he wrapped his hand around the remaining part, stroking the length that was already wet with saliva. He could see by Axel's expression that the man was becoming frantic; Axel was rubbing his hand shakily through Roxas's hair.

"N,no- Roxas, _wait_-" Axel breathed, his voice low and husky while he felt his stomach clench. Roxas felt Axel's muscles tense under his grip; slender fingers were tightening in blond hair. Axel's breath had become rapid.

Roxas gave another deep suck, rolling his tongue against the foreskin. Suddenly, liquid was pouring down his throat, nearly chocking him, and from what Roxas understood… you were supposed to drink it. So Roxas let his throat relax as he lapped up Axel's semen- the redhead nearly came again when he realized what the boy was doing.

Axel's softening member slid out of Roxas's mouth, the boy sharply pulling away. Roxas made a sour face. Axel sat up suddenly, reaching over Roxas down to his end table. He handed Roxas the soda he had, Roxas eagerly drinking it.

Roxas coughed with tears in his eyes, "Wow, that was kind of gross tasting,"

Axel was watching him in blatant disbelief. The man flopped onto his bed before he moaning loudly, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes.

"Holy shit," he was saying, taking deep breaths, his chest still heaving.

Roxas looked worried, his voice raspy, "Did I do something wrong?"

Axel, if this was possible, looked even more shocked, "Roxas? Something _wrong_? That was probably the most erotic thing I have EVER seen, in my whole fucking life."

Axel let out a huff of air before managing a shaky laugh, "Oh my god, Roxas! How did I get so lucky?"

Roxas shook his head, "I didn't know what I was doing."

Axel leaned up, his fingers grasping to rub at Roxas's bare hip, "And that, my love, is why it was so hot."

Roxas rolled his eyes, taking another swig of the soda. His mouth still felt gross, but he was sure Axel wouldn't mind at this particular moment, so he leaned back down over his boyfriend and gently pecked their lips together.

Axel smirked into his kiss after a long moment before standing up and pulling away the rest of his pants and boxers. Roxas tried to not stare down at Axel's… stuff, before Axel quickly pulled at his arm and hoisted him off the bed.

After Axel had effectively stripped him, Roxas found his hands reaching down around a slender waist to caress his boyfriend's bare butt. Roxas blushed at his own boldness, his eyes staring at Axel's chest with firm resolution.

Axel kissed his forehead, then his cheek, before stepping forward and hugging him tightly. Roxas felt faint as their bodies rubbed close, he could feel Axel's protective arms wrapped around him, encasing him in heat. Axel let his fingers rub up Roxas's back, over his vertebrae that jutted out.

Axel leaned down and kissed his shoulder wetly before pulling back and saying, in a gruff and low and sensually husky voice, "I'm in insanely in love with you, Roxas Kouda."

Roxas felt heat pool through him at those words, his blood thrumming. He reached his hands up and wrapped them around Axel's prominent shoulder blades. He kissed the smooth chest in front of him before looking up at the man.

"_Axel-"_ He breathed, letting the man kiss him deeply. Their tongues met, easily sliding together before Axel playfully nipped at his lower lip ring. Roxas's fingers were firmly massaging Axel's scalp.

Axel's large hands were trailing over his body without hesitance; the redhead was watching him through barely parted lashes, green eyes flickering in the lamplight. Axel pushed him gently to the bed, climbing over him and letting their bodies rub together. Axel's stomach was still sticky with semen, but Roxas could care less.

All that skin pressing so close to him had Roxas hitching his breath; Axel licked the shell of his ear. Axel rolled Roxas over so that he was resting on the bed. Axel sat back to fully appreciate his smaller boyfriend naked.

Roxas always felt a little self-conscious when Axel stared at him like that, but it also made him feel so sexy, so wanted.

Axel bit his lip and was whispering, "Roxas, do you mind if I try something we haven't done before?"

Roxas felt his heart race and he could only nod helplessly. Axel bent over and opened his dresser with one hand, snatching out a small bottle.

"If you don't like it, just tell me," Axel told him seriously, uncapping the bottle and lubricating his fingers. Roxas watched him anxiously, trying to calm his frazzled nerves.

Roxas gulped nervously as Axel brought his hand down, his head lulling back when the man started wrapping tightly around his erection. The lubricant made his skin sing deliciously. Roxas moaned Axel's name, and wondered what the hell Axel had been talking about. Why_ wouldn't_ he want this?

Axel was firmly pumping his length; the smooth friction was all he could think about, it felt so tantalizingly sensual. Then Axel was positioning his arm under Roxas's legs, sliding the boy's hips so Roxas's butt was in the air, his privates exposed for the redhead with his legs spread wide over boney shoulders.

Roxas felt his cheeks burn as Axel stared directly at him. Roxas had never had someone look at him like that- he had never felt so open and raw.

Axel brought his lips down and began kissing Roxas's unblemished ass, sliding his tongue into the crack and trailing below his balls. Roxas couldn't breath, his body trembling when Axel's tongue dipped into his puckered entrance.

Roxas forced out a heady moan, he had no idea what Axel was doing to him but it felt so forbidden. Axel was probing him with a thick tongue, spreading lubricant and saliva around his anus.

Axel bent him a little farther back and he started to push his finger into Roxas's body. Roxas felt his face scrunch up at the unfamiliar feeling, it wasn't entirely uncomfortable but it was still weird. Roxas felt his body unconsciously tense at the intrusion, Axel stroking his length with his free hand to try and distract him. Roxas felt his toes curl when he realized what Axel was doing to him was called _fingering_.

"Breath, baby, just relax your hips." Axel instructed, his gaze never leaving Roxas's body as his fingers were introduced one by one. Axel felt like he had never been so fucking_ hard_ in his entire life, being with Roxas like this was inimitable and so, so, _so_ erotic. Axel had never seen such a perfect body, all embarrassed and spread before him.

Axel **knew** he was the only person to ever see Roxas like this. That thought made him slightly possessive. He began to aggressively stretch the boy, watching as his fingers disappeared into that tight bottom.

Roxas felt a jolt of pain run down his spine when Axel inserted a third finger, scissoring them apart deep inside him. He whimpered, torn between demanding that Axel stop and begging the boy to just fucking _do it_.

Axel removed his middle finger, slowly pressing his index in at an angle. He began to pump in and out, the lubrication creating heated friction. Roxas vision was blinded when something hit inside of his body. He arched his back into the air and thrust his hips, trying to recapture that sensation.

"_Axel_," Roxas panted unheedingly, overwhelmed by the spike of arousal when Axel had touched him like that.

Axel eagerly got the hint, and began pressing on that spot inside of him, Roxas felt himself clench around the man. Axel started pumping Roxas's member in time with his fingers rubbing. Roxas cried out loudly, his voice echoing across the room. He felt his whole body shudder before sharply cumming, his body clenched as he finally released.

Roxas felt tears prick his eyes as he rode out the overwhelming orgasm; his whole body was tingling with unbridled pleasure. Axel slowly removed his finger, feeling Roxas go limp under him. The boy was sweating and his eyes looked glazed.

Roxas finally chocked out a few words, "What did you do?"

Axel grinned at him cockily, looking very amused at the boy's innocence, "_That_ my dear, was your prostate."

Roxas vaguely recalled reading that word somewhere, but his whole brain was utter mush. Axel was rubbing the semen off their bodies with a blanket. Roxas barely noticed the movement.

After the man was satisfied with cleaning their bodies, he slid down, wrapping his lanky limbs around the smaller blond. Axel's whole body was hopelessly content and completely relieved of tension.

Axel rubbed his nose against Roxas's cheek, licking at his chain before kissing him on the lips. Roxas let his arms rub up Axel's ribs, and he finally sat up a little, remembering something suddenly.

"Hey, let me give you a back massage," Roxas said randomly, moving to roll the man over. Axel gave him an incredulous look before letting the younger boy flip him over, his bare butt looking pale under the light.

The artist chucked, seating his naked body onto Axel's backside, letting his bare erection rest intimately against the crack of Axel's ass. He began to rub his hands down Axel's sweaty back, eyes attentive and rapidly adding mental notes of Axel's tattoos. He silently wondered how he could make his portrait of the man more life like.

Yet Roxas didn't want to arouse suspicion with his random back-rub, so he leaned down and kissed the nape of Axel's neck before murmuring, "I wonder if Demyx finally confessed tonight."

Axel let out an amused sound, "You really play quite the matchmaker."

Roxas let his knuckles roll down his lover's spine, applying pressure to various knots in the man's muscles. He was avidly staring at Axel's shoulder tattoo as he responded, "I only want them to be happy."

Roxas finally pulled back, knowing that he had seen enough of the tattoos to make some appropriate changes in his painting. He was feeling rather drowsy, oddly complacent while he was naked. Only in this post-sex glow did he feely totally okay with his scrawny body.

Roxas dropped to the bed, turning his head so Axel could kiss him again.

Axel looked equally sleepy as he rambled, "Well, Dem has been obsessed with Zex since he first met him. Zexion knows he's gay, and he didn't run away when Dem rape-kissed him on Halloween."

Roxas nodded, his eyes closing.

Axel was silent for a moment when a sudden thought unavoidably struck him. Axel became nervous. He wanted to ask Roxas a very serious question, but he wasn't sure how the boy would take it. He didn't want to ruin the mood, yet this had been bothering him since Terra's party.

"Hey, Roxas?" Axel spoke before he could stop himself.

"Mmm?" The boy murmured, curling into Axel's body like an oversized teddy bear.

"Are…" Axel chewed on his lip, not really knowing how to word this.

Roxas opened his eyes, gazing at him with a lazy expression.

"Would you ever… tell your family about us?" Axel spat out.

Roxas blinked, he pulled back from Axel in perfect surprise, "What?"

Axel shook his head quickly with a faint blush to his cheeks, "I don't know, never mind. I'm just being stupid."

Axel reached and grabbed his comforter from the end of his bed, pulling it up around their bodies. Roxas was staring at him while he pulled the chord for his lamp, casting the room in darkness.

Axel lay flat on his back, making no move to touch Roxas further.

Roxas was mulling the question through his mind, trying to reach a rapid conclusion. He wasn't sure why Axel had brought this up, or what had spurred the man on. Axel's reaction had been so uncharacteristic.

So, Roxas pondered, what would happen if he told his brother he was gay?

This thought clamped painfully into Roxas, making him feel suddenly ashamed of himself. He wasn't sure he would ever have the balls to confidently tell people like Seifer, or Riku, that he was dating Axel. Let alone his brother- god, he would be skinned alive. People would be whispering about him again, just like they had when his mothered died.

Axel turned away from Roxas, his back to the boy's face. Roxas let his body scoot forward. He spooned against the man's back, finally deciding on an appropriate response.

"Axel, you've… already told your dad your gay, right?" Roxas slowly asked.

Axel nodded, "Yes, back in high school."

"And he was okay with it?"

Axel closed his eyes while he sifted through old memories, "Well, he was little upset at first. I guess I haven't really told you this, but I don't know my biological parents."

Roxas blinked, silent.

"I was adopted by my step-father when I was like three. He took me in as a favor to a friend. And I didn't really tell him I was gay. He just sorta walked in on me… jerking off to a Playgirl magazine."

Roxas stifled a laugh, and tried to picture that for a second before he returned to his previous train of thought.

"Well… the atmosphere of the Islands is a lot different than Madison. It's incredibly unforgiving and nobody ever forgets anything. Being gay back home…" Roxas frowned, eyes sad and distant, "It just doesn't happen."

"But Cloud is from where you are." Axel argued. "And he is proud and out loud about being gay."

"People back home don't know Cloud is gay. And he probably left for a very similar reason." Roxas suddenly felt irritated. He grabbed the man's shoulders, turning him so that they were facing each other.

"Axel, it's just not the same. I've been raised with specific obligations my whole life. My dad is the head of a really big company, and everything is about image and reputation. I'm expected to be this fucking heir, and I can never seem to live up to that. "

Roxas huffed as he tried again to imagine telling his brother, "If I told my brother or my father, I would be immediately and undoubtedly disowned. My family already hates me for how I live, and I don't plan on giving them another reason." He added firmly. He finally gave Axel a pleading look, hoping the man would understand him.

Axel looked a little upset, but he didn't say anything. Roxas felt guilty, reaching his arm over Axel's chest and hugging him tightly.

"I'm **not **ashamed of you, Axel. I'm stupidly perfectly _happy _when I stand next to you. It's just… I'm too much of a coward. I can't stomach the idea of what they would say about _you_, those fucking assholes." Roxas heard his own voice break from emotional strain.

Axel was still silent, so Roxas finally probed, "Can you forgive me?"

Roxas felt his stomach drop when Axel didn't immediately answer. Had he angered Axel? Disappointed him?

Finally the man wrapped his arms back around him, encasing him against smooth skin and pulling the blanket tightly around their bodies. Axel let out a shaky sigh, burying his face into Roxas's hair.

He was almost whispering when he replied, "Yeah, Roxas, I know what you mean. There is nothing to forgive. I know that you have… a shitty home life. You didn't talk for nearly six months, I mean, _damn_, how could those people from your hometown be _so_ uncaring? I don't know why it bothers me so much, really. I guess… I just want to show those assholes how awesome you are, and brag the shit out of the fact that I'm dating you."

Roxas sighed against Axel's chest and rumbled, "No, I know, Axel. Listen- I promise, one day… But right now I really need my dad to keep paying my tuition and housing, otherwise I won't even be able to stay in Madison."

Axel felt his eyes droop, he was sick of worrying about stuff. And he was physically exhausted from the twelve-hour day, let alone his late night exercise. His breath started evening out and he loosened his hold on Roxas. Roxas squeezed his eyes shut, trying to quell the fear he had of his future.

Right before they fell asleep Axel heard Roxas whisper to himself, "_One day, I will show them who I really am_."

Axel was positive he would do just that.


	5. Good often comes from misfortune

Liberated

Part V. _Good can often come from misfortune. _

By DXMJUNKIE

XXX

Roxas went with Axel down to Chicago for the holidays a week later, after a temporary goodbye and some gift exchanging between the friends that had become his family. He had taken to calling them his family on a daily basis, which both amused and disheartened them, because if they were _now_ his family what did that mean for the people back home?

The group of six had piled into Xion's tiny dorm room and under her miniature tree they had eggnog and happily swapped winter plans.

Xion made Roxas and Axel winter coats for their gifts. Axel's was black and had more of a punk look with a Misfits band logo sewn on the sleeve. She had painstakingly added studs around the pockets, and the style was created to accentuate the redhead's trim waist. Roxas's had checkered print along the rim, it had a fluffy fake-fur hood. They were stylish and fashionable and _warm_. Roxas had never received a hand-made gift before and he'd been a little embarrassed.

Zexion had gotten him a large book of prints by Hieronymus Bosh, one of his favorite surrealists. Demyx, Larxene, and Axel had pitched in to get Roxas a white Fender Stratocaster (that was identical to Axel's red one). It had a checkered print strap that Roxas lovingly stroked, blubbering loudly, '_How did you know_?' Demyx promised him he could borrow his amp whenever he wanted. Axel had jokingly added that now Roxas wouldn't need to use his instrument all the time.

Roxas painted Xion a flowery landscape, and made hemp necklaces with glass-blown beads for Larx, Dem, and Axel. Roxas planned to give Axel his painting on Christmas day. Roxas bequeathed Zexion one of his favorite books, an antique copy of the Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species. Zexion had hugged it tightly to his chest, clearly stunned by thoughtful gift. Demyx was amazed that someone could get emotional over a book.

Roxas didn't know what Zexion and Dem got each other. Yet he knew that neither would leave campus for break. Demyx was too far away from home to travel anywhere, and Zexion wasn't on speaking terms with his family. He assumed they would trade in a more intimate setting, similar to him and Axel.

Roxas was still a little confused about how Demyx and Zexion interacted. They hung out casually every day, yet Roxas knew for a fact that both of them were fucking _loaded_ with romantic angst. What he didn't understand is how they held out like that. If Axel was next to him all the time, but just a friend, and they would never touch each other…

His friends had balls of iron. That's the only conclusion Roxas could draw.

If the metaphorically dimwitted pair had confessed their undying feelings to each other when Zexion was sick and stayed with him, Roxas was none the wiser.

Xion flew back up to Minneapolis to be with her family for break, Larxene down to her hometown in Houston, Texas.

Axel and Roxas packed for a day, idly planning adventures for their first trip away together. They were acting sickeningly lovey-dovey, and couldn't keep their hands off each other. Such behavior would have disgusted Roxas not even a year ago, but he was found he couldn't care anymore. He was spending the holiday with his boyfriend, and they were in love. It was almost unthinkable to reject Axel's advances.

Roxas began to forgo some of his previous embarrassment for PDA, and he would often lean up to chastely kiss Axel in public. They took turns driving Axel's car down to Chicago, listening to albums of rock and alternative music and talking about everything.

Chicago was the biggest city Roxas had ever seen in his life. The skyscrapers and fancy shops made him feel like a small town hick, and though he tried to stride next to Axel confidently and not boggle at the sites like a tourist, he found it hard to do so. There were so many people in Chicago it felt like a blur. Axel didn't seem to mind his silent demeanor, pointing out different buildings and explaining their significance.

When they had first got to Chicago, Axel didn't take him directly to his house. They stopped at a huge indoor skatepark, which had Roxas grinning from ear to ear. Roxas loved indoor skateparks, since Madison had fucking frigid snow so you couldn't skate outside, and they only had one decent place in Madison but it was on the other side of town.

Roxas took of his converse in the car and put on his Audios, switching out his dirty track on his board for clean, fresh indoor wheels.

They spent nearly four hours competing against each other for sicker tricks, trying to show off. Axel was better at grinding on bars, Roxas more deft at vert ramps. They fell many times, both laughing openly at any mistakes. Roxas was so happy he had someone to share his love for skateboarding (he knew he had Xion, but it wasn't the same) and he was still very excited to start at Monkeywrench in January.

The sun was going down when they left, sweaty and tired and pretty hungry. After clambered back into his car and they drove about fifteen minutes to a small neighborhood. It wasn't an ugly neighborhood really, but Roxas felt like all the buildings were crunched tightly together. Axel's home was above a mechanics shop; the smell of oil was thick. They climbed a set of stairs on the side, hauling the luggage up in one trip. Roxas had Axel's painting hidden in his cumbersome portfolio case.

Axel's step-dad wasn't home when they arrived, but the apartment was modest and clean. Roxas was a little anxious about 'meeting the parent' as it where, but Axel told him his dad would love him. Roxas figured that Axel was telling him that to make him feel better. It didn't.

They started cooking some leftovers from the fridge, turning on the radio for background noise. Axel was in a great spirits; he was singing along with the rock ballad playing on the radio while he cooked. Roxas found Axel's relaxed mood endearing. Roxas wondered if he would ever be able to find the man disinteresting, or boring. The guy could probably be sleeping and Roxas would still sit back and watch him.

"Oi, you back?" A gruff voice came from the door while they were eating.

"Old man Cid!" Axel shouted enthusiastically, standing up to go and hug the man who was walking through the door and dropping a heavy belt of tools to the floor.

Cid was a stocky guy, all thick muscles and wearing a dirty white shirt and jeans. He had a cigarette perched between his lips and he gave Roxas a long look when he walked in the door. His arm muscles were as big as Roxas's thigh. Cid was going slightly bald, but easily intimidated Roxas. Roxas gulped and tried to keep his expression calm even as his eyes had gone wide.

This was the man who raised his boyfriend?

Cid glared firmly with critical tint to his eyes before the man propped his cigarette between his fingers and jutted his hand in front of him. Roxas almost jumped off the seat, shaking the man's large hand firmly. Axel couldn't help but bite back a snort, Roxas looked totally spooked.

"And your name was?" Cid asked in a no-nonsense edge.

"I'm Roxas! Roxas Kouda. Um- I'm almost 19, originally from the Destiny Islands. I go to Axel's school in Madison. Thanks for having me."

"I asked you your name, not your whole life story." Cid grumbled, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a beer from the fridge.

Roxas flushed with shame. He wished he'd at least taken off most of his piercings and worn nicer clothes, because he felt like a scrawny pansy next to Cid.

Axel finally started to laugh, finding this whole exchange beyond hilarious as he cooed, "He's harmless, Rox. Cid's looks like a hard ass but he's got a _big_ tender-wuvving heart."

Cid silently huffed, taking a long drink from his beer.

"How's the shop?" Axel straightened, standing closer to Roxas's side. The boy was slowly edging back, still looking visibly unsettled by Cid's harsh demeanor.

"Busy," Cid grumbled, "People keep bringing me their clocks and shit to repair. I keep tellin' 'em that I'm not a fucking handyman, I'm a mechanic."

Roxas listened to them chatting, trying to look comfortable even though his nerves were thrumming. Cid was a lot different than Axel had described him as. He wondered how Axel had ended up with Cid. He'd explained it a little, but Axel obviously had unpleasant memories about his biological parents so Roxas didn't press him. He knew that Axel would talk when he wanted to.

"Well, Aerith is gonna have some of those fuckers over at her house on Christmas day and she keeps begging that we'll go." Cid told his son, "She's invited the dipshit crew so be prepared to take a hit on your liver."

"My brother and his friends, Yuffie and Vincent." Axel whispered into cuffed Roxas's ear.

Cid looked at Roxas, stubbing his cigarette out on a large ash tray, "You drink, kid?"

"Um, I'm underage." Roxas said, not sure what the man wanted from him.

Cid peered down at him disapprovingly; he'd obviously found the boy's answer foolish.

Axel smiled while taking a bite of his food, "He drinks, Cid. Rox, Cid doesn't give a shit about things like underage drinking."

Roxas remained silent.

"Not the talkative type?" Cid asked. "Well that's good, Axel talks too fucking much."

Roxas gave the man a wary expression, before nodding again. Axel silently knew that Roxas could be incredibly social; he just had to feel comfortable. He could see by Roxas's frazzled expression that he wasn't. Cid seemed to pick up on this too, keeping his glares down to a minimum. Cid thought the kid looked downright panicked, and this amused him.

Axel and Cid chatted for a while before the mechanic left. He had to get back to his shop downstairs, he bitched about it as he gave his son another one arm hug.

Roxas noticed that Cid's eyes visibly softened when they looked at Axel. It made him smile unconsciously.

XXX

Christmas day came swiftly. It was snowing on Christmas morning and they had spent their time in Axel's old room. Axel's room clearly reflected his personality; he had tons of band posters and a large list of chemical compounds taped on the walls. Stacks of CD's littered his bookshelf, and he had an old Gibson Les Paul propped against the desk. The walls were painted dark and red curtains filtered colored light across old Polaroid's of Axel's friends. Roxas had stared at them jealously, wishing he'd known Axel as long as the people in the photos had. Roxas loved the space, he felt at home curled in Axel's red and black down comforter.

Christmas morning they cuddled, made love slowly, and munched on toast in bed. Cid wasn't around most days, and he hadn't asked Roxas any probing questions. He hadn't even queried about the whole gay thing, and Roxas was beyond relieved. He knew he would freak the fuck out if Axel's stepdad starting talking about… _that._

When the time had felt right, Roxas pulled out the painting he'd made of his boyfriend. Axel was openly astonished; he'd stared at it intensely while hugging Roxas against his side. Axel had never expected Roxas would paint him- it was so accurate that it was scary. He'd gotten his tattoos perfectly; Axel finally understood why Roxas had been giving him so many back massages in the past months.

Axel gave Roxas a silver cuff welded to a delicate chain that attached to his lip ring, along with a set of checkered rings that paired on Roxas's ring and middle finger. They made out before dressing each other up, trying to make it look like they _hadn't _been shamelessly necking.

That afternoon they traveled to Cid's friends house, Aerith. Axel had explained that Aerith was one of Cid's quasi stepchildren. She lived in the same house as them when Axel was growing up. Aerith was very pretty and Roxas quickly took an immediate liking to her. She was quiet and thoughtful. She chatted with Roxas about Madison and poured him strong Gin and Tonics. Roxas learned that Aerith graduated from his school, and was currently working in a flower shop. Roxas was tipsy by the time dinner rolled around, and a lot more talkative. He told Aerith that she really needed to meet Xion, because Xion was a freak for flowers.

Axel stayed in the living room and let Roxas chat away. He caught up on some old gossip with his step-dad, than preceded to swap scathing taunts with his brother. By the time Roxas wandered back in the room, they glaring daggers, voices raised aggressively.

Roxas met Axel's biological brother Reno, and instantly thought he was an asshole. Reno had Axel's hair color, but wore it in a long rat-tail. He had cocky blue eyes that made Roxas on edge. The man started making blatant passes at him, spewing crude innuendos until Axel's icy glare had forced him to stop. Cid hauled Reno into the other room when a dark haired girl bounced through the front door. She threw Axel to the ground with an over-enthusiastic hug. She was soon fawning over Roxas, stroking his cheeks as he frowned. Axel had to pull her away by the color of her shirt.

Roxas had never been around such a lively bunch.

Cid got drunk early; he sang old Beach Boys' songs, which they all thought was hilarious. Aerith started taking videos of the man on her phone, hoping for prime blackmail material once he had sobered up. Reno was downing Bourbon, doing his best to taunt Axel and get a rise out of him. Roxas chose to stay out of that whole thing.

This girl named Yuffie started asking him about his relationship with Axel, and in his drunken haze he began answering with blatant honesty. He felt that he had nothing to hide from her, and Aerith seemed interested too. He even began talking about their sex life, until swiftly Axel covered his mouth because Reno looked far too interested.

Cid was talking loudly to Aerith and didn't hear them. Roxas wasn't feeling that intimidated by the mechanic anymore. With his mind so hazy, he deduced that Cid was just a person too, and probably wouldn't kill him any time soon.

Reno dipped out shortly after dinner, trying to peck a kiss on Roxas's cheek before the blond sharply slapped him. Yuffie cheered, Axel putting his arm protectively around Roxas. It was an eventful evening.

Aerith drove the group home, Axel and Roxas passed out by nine.

It had been the best Christmas in Roxas's memory. It was spent with a group of relative strangers, but still warmer than any Christmas back home. Roxas didn't even think about his real family the whole day. He'd been to busy trying to keep up with the conversation.

And Axel always drove away any feelings of residual loneliness.

Before they left, Cid had snatched Roxas alone for a minute and seriously told him to take care of his son. Cid told Roxas that Axel was a flake, and he needed to be stern and not catered to. Roxas had told him that he would make sure Axel got his shit done, and he was happy to have spent the holidays together. Cid shook his hand once more; Roxas saw the distinct approval in his eyes as they left.

XXX

The New Years rolled around with Axel working doubles at the bar to make as much money as he could during break. Axel had several grants for school, and a scholarship that covered most of his tuitions, but still needed to fork over the money for textbooks and living expenses.

Roxas started his job at Monkeywrench with Cloud, and though it was slow at the store he was learning a lot from the older surfer. He immensely enjoyed talking with Cloud. They spoke often of the Islands. Roxas now knew that Cloud had felt just as suffocated back home, and eager to leave and prove himself. It made Roxas feel a lot better about his decisions, like it had always been out of his hands despite the condemnation he'd received.

Roxas started talking with Leon a lot more, the brunette stopped by the skate shop daily to drop off some food for Cloud. He even started bringing blueberry bagels with strawberry cream cheese for Roxas, just because the boy loved them so much.

Roxas watched the couple's interactions from afar, fascinated by their relationship. If they hadn't told him they were dating Roxas would never have guessed. Cloud was stoic but playful and Leon was serious and quiet. They never showed physical affection, but they seemed to be on each other's exact wavelength. They had such a calm way of bouncing conversations around, and there was never awkward silence between them. Roxas secretly hoped to catch a glimpse of them kissing, just because he couldn't picture it in his head.

Roxas threw all of his free time into playing his new electric guitar that he'd named Alice. He thought the name was fitting since Axel's was the Mad Hatter. Roxas was confident when he played, with his fingers becoming more fluid as they callused. He taught himself the chords for some of Axel's music and aspired to play in the band. The thought of playing on stage with Axel and his best friends made him giddy. He wasn't sure he was that talented, but playing music felt inimitable. Making music like that- loud and intense and violently raw- was the ultimate creative high. So Roxas took a break from his painting, he figured he would have tons of time for that once the school year started.

As it turned out Leon just split with his old band. He'd mentioned it to Roxas randomly while visiting Cloud at work. Roxas had heard Leon play once before when he'd used his fake to get into a live at The Frequency. Leon's drumming had a Chad Smith edge, and just so happened to need a new group to practice with. Before Leon had agreed, he had told Roxas why he left his old band. Leon avoided drama like it was herpes, and he despised people who reveled in such drivel.

Roxas practically begged Axel to let Leon into the band, attentively imploring his boyfriend to also let him also play. He wasn't as good as the other experienced musicians, but what he lacked in experience he made up in raw dedication. Axel had not been too happy about Leon (he still thought Leon was hitting on Roxas) but was stoked Roxas wanted to practice with them, so they initiated a Thursday jam-session tradition.

Demyx would book them a studio spot and after Axel got off work Leon would show up and they would create music together for a couple hours. It took a while for them to be able to play any song all the way through without mistakes, but they managed.

Axel couldn't help but admit that Leon was a great drummer, and they soon talked of live shows to play once the school year started. Roxas wasn't sure he was ready for a live show, but Axel's confidence spurred him on.

Zexion supported the budding band from the background, bringing them coffee and cigarettes during practice. He started recording their audio on his computer, and after doing some amateur editing, gave Roxas a copy of his music. It was surreal when Roxas would listen to his band on his iPod, and he wondered if Axel felt the same.

The music they created was always slicing, sharp chords. Their band was reggae punk rock through and through; no matter how they tried to change that. It was sometimes aggressive, sometimes playful, and sometimes hard to stomach. The sound was perpetuated by Axel's sensual and hard-hitting vocals. Demyx would switch between playing his aqua colored Vilayat Khan style sitar and a black 5-string Fender bass. Axel loved his metallic green Barcus Berry violin the most, but when performing most songs he used his blood red Fender Stratocaster.

They began to understand each others style, when one person led the others followed. They had a couple original songs, but liked to play covers of Placebo and Rise Against.

Axel had been sincere about making his nineteenth birthday one to remember.

Axel threw him a giant party, going all out with the house decorations. Roxas was amazed when almost fifty people showed up. Leon, Demyx, and Axel wrote him a song and plugged in six amps to play in the front yard, which spurred his neighbor to file a noise complaint the next morning. Roxas thought they were crazy to play outside in the winter. Xion and Larxene sent him cards from home. Zexion bought him an unlimited coffee card for the Acoustic Cafe.

Towards the end of the night Cloud rudely began to taunt an old lady passing by. She shook her hand in his direction, and let her two pit bulls loose on him. As Cloud sprinted down the street trying not to skid on ice, Roxas nearly peed himself laughing so hard.

His father and brother didn't send him an email that day, which made it three years in a row that they had stopped remembering the day he was born. Roxas was surprisingly okay with this fact. He didn't need their forced attention anyways; he had so many friends who genuinely cared about him.

Xion and Larxene were back in Madison before they knew it, and the semester started on an excellent note.

XXX

The second semester of college was a lot easier for Roxas. Now that he knew where stuff was on campus, he didn't feel like a lost sheep. He understood what was expected of him in his college courses, and knew how to manage his homework and part time job.

Roxas met many people that semester both at Monkeywrench and the studio. Most were friendly and open. He made friends easily, something he could have never done before. His phone was being texted daily. Back in high school he was lucky if he used his cell in a month. People were inviting him out for lunch or to an afternoon show.

Roxas felt like he was embracing a new identity, one that was much closer to his actual personality. He painted all day and played music all night. He went out to parties that were straight from a movie, and never felt like his words were trapped inside his head. He became more aggressive, more verbal and cynical.

He was growing up, finally, in this vibrantly creative environment.

Spring rolled around, then summer. Roxas had no plans to go home for break, and Axel's two roommates were graduating so Roxas signed the lease for Axel's place. Freshmen were only required to live on campus one year, and he was already sleeping at Axel's place five nights a week. Zexion and Demyx also signed the lease, since the house was meant for five people.

Roxas was elated that he would be living with his best friends, a part of him wanted to send another spiteful email to Sora or his father telling him how happy he was. He wasn't worried about living with his friends, he knew that they were clean enough and that living together meant more shenanigans.

They cohabited easily, decorating their place with giant tapestries and propping instruments in the corner. Zexion filled their living room shelves with thick books. Demyx would burn incense obsessively and it gave the house a pleasant smell. They always had music playing in their house, and even though the group kept odd hours.

Xion also stayed in town for summer. She rented a one-room apartment that was close by and would visit them after work to cook food for her 'hungry boys'. Xion and Roxas went skateboarding at least once a week to get away from everything, happily gossiping about their friends.

Roxas and Axel were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, fighting occasionally over small things but overall they were blissfully happy. They reveled in learning more about each other, experiencing the ups and downs of life together.

Zexion and Dem were equally inseparable. It was so hard to read their interactions and Roxas had a few sneaking suspicions but he never said anything. He knew they were doing just fine. Roxas wasn't going to push them to label anything, and he knew they needed each other. This thought comforted him.

Because Roxas knew Demyx had a difficult childhood. He only talked about it when they were alone, and he was supremely intoxicated and about to pass out. The musician had come out as gay very early on, and had learned how _mean_ kids could be.

Zexion didn't talk much about his past, but Roxas understood how burdens could be so painful you cannot vocalize them. Zexion had only mentioned a few passing sentences about his past, but Roxas somehow knew that he had told Demyx more.

Cloud, Leon, Terra, and Aqua were the most frequent guests to their house that summer. They would bring a box full of liquor and some unique drinking games, and would stay up until the sun rose pink in the sky. 

They were still kids that summer, happily laughing at stupid jokes and making life into a game. They were all living on their own, going their own directions. But they still had the house on West Mifflin to come home to.

The next part of our story starts here.

XXX

Roxas was quietly strumming on Axel's acoustic. He was perched on the roof, absent-mindedly watching people on the sidewalks across the street.

It was a brilliantly sunny day, the humid heat reminded Roxas of his home a little.

Roxas was currently a little worried. Tonight was their first live show at the High Noon Saloon; his entire group was going to be there.

He had never been on stage before; even back in High School he'd been a perpetual wallflower. Roxas fretted about if he would be considered good enough, or if the audience would be able to tell that he was an amateur.

Even Larxene was travelling up from Texas to see the show. Both Yuffie and Aerith had driven up from Chicago. Zexion would attend, of course, as would Cloud. Roxas felt pressured to do well. This pressure wasn't from other people around him. Both Leon and Dem had been very blasé about the whole thing, and Axel was always supportive.

Roxas had been practicing like an addict, making sure he had each chord correct.

Xion was downstairs, cheerfully making food with Demyx. Xion didn't have a care in the world, and this show was nothing new for Dem; he'd played in front of people his entire life.

Roxas strapped Alice over his shoulder, climbing down from the roof with experience. He gracefully plopped into Axel's room- now his bedroom also. They had both decided it was pointless for Roxas to have his own room since Roxas didn't own much stuff anyway, and he would probably sleep in Axel's bed every night anyway. So Axel had cleared out some space in the closet and bought another pillow for the bed.

Roxas headed downstairs, smelling the heavy scent of cooked food coming from the kitchen.

Xion was bent over the stove, adding spices to chicken. The smell of coffee flavored the room. Demyx was humming at the table, writing musical notation in his notebook.

Dem looked up when he entered the room and smiled, "Still nervous, Rox?"

Xion gave him a worried glance as Roxas stared off into the distance. Roxas took a seat at the table. Roxas sighed; even Demyx could tell he was jittery. 

"Aren't you nervous, Xion?" Roxas asked her. He knew it was also Xion's first live show. Xion had sung in front of people before, but never on a stage.

That spring, Xion had been belting karaoke over at Terra's. Axel and Dem were astounded by her voice, it sounded just harsh enough to be punk, and just bitter enough to be elegant. They made her sing at a few practices when Demyx had an idea. The band soon requested that Xion sing the opening number for their show, Axel even wrote a song that would match her vocal style. The first song would be the only one that Roxas didn't play along with his band; instead Axel would be on his electric violin, Dem on his sitar, and Leon on drums.

Xion quietly set a plate of food in his face, along with a large mug of coffee. He drank the coffee first, still deeply in thought. Roxas feared he would freeze up or forget the music in his head even if his fingers had memorized it.

The group ate together quickly, they still had to load Demyx's car with an outrageous amount of stuff. Xion insisted that she make clothes for them to wear, since that would make the band's image more recognizable. They had to fit here clunky boxes of stuff alongside heavy amps and three instruments. Demyx and Roxas hauled the amps into the trunk, trying to move all the instruments so they would still have enough room to sit in the car.

Before they headed over to High Noon Saloon, Roxas grabbed his boyfriend's tin box of weed and deftly rolled a blunt for later. He figured that if his nerves were too much, he would simply smoke a little before the show to calm down. Axel wouldn't mind at all, he was sure.

The show started at eight, so they had two hours to set up the stage and get ready. Axel and Leon already brought the brunettes drum set over, and Roxas hoped they would have enough time.

Madison was a little quieter in the summer; there were more tourists and fewer students wandering the sidewalks around the capitol.

A group of protestors stood on the lawn around the capitol square, holding up signs and chanting. From what Roxas understood, there had been a huge political struggle in Wisconsin regarding their governor Scott Walker. He'd heard his boyfriend and Zexion debate the issues many times over coffee. It was always had to do with collective bargaining rights, and the teacher's ability to unionize.

Roxas enjoyed the political aura of Madison; people seemed to care so earnestly about democracy in that city. Everyone he knew was always talking about current news, and it made Roxas feel more in tune with what is going on in the world.

They drove down West Washington, pulling around the back of High Noon Saloon. Roxas spotted Cloud's car a couple spots away, Leon was huffing a cigarette at the back door. He raised his hand to great them, Xion skipping up to him cheerfully. Despite the fact that Roxas had eventually the poor girl quite gay, and dating Cloud, this had not deterred her crush.

Leon handed Roxas a plastic card with a black lanyard attached. He slung the lanyard around his neck, pulling it up to examine it.

"You have to wear this when you're backstage." He told them, handing one to Xion and Dem also.

Roxas looked closely at the badge, and read aloud, "Organization XIII?"

Demyx giggled, "That's what Axel decided to rename our band."

"Why thirteen?" Roxas asked, wondering why Axel hadn't told him about this. He mulled over this for a long moment, before figuring that the man had been really busy recently, and he'd been throwing around potential names for the last week. Axel had probably just randomly picked one in time for the show.

Xion looked equally confused. Leon became disinterested, wandering back inside; he didn't really care about stuff like that.

"Well, if you think about it, there's really like thirteen people in our main group. The one's you always call your _family_," Demyx teased, before ticking his fingers off,  
>There's you, Ax, me, Zex, Xion, Leon, Cloud, Larxene, Terra, Aqua, Aerith, Yuffie, and Xigbar."<p>

Roxas looked at him dryly as they walked inside after Leon with their instruments, "Well, I wouldn't really consider Aerith, Yuffie, Xigbar, or Aqua to be my _family_. I've never even met Xigbar."

Xion nodded as they dropped the gear and headed out for another load, "I don't even know like half of those people."

Demyx chuckled as he hoisted an amp out of his trunk, "Haha, well, Aqua's one of my close friends from way back when. Terra, Aqua, Axel and I used to do a lot of crazy shit together. Aerith used to come to all our practices when we first started up all those year ago, Cloud's really good friends with her too. And Yuffie… well, whenever Yuffie comes by she always manages to force her way into our business."

Roxas chuckled; he could easily imagine Yuffie doing so. He'd only met the hyper girl once, on Christmas day, but he distinctly remembered her probing questions.

_'I have a big extended family_,' Roxas thought faintly to himself as they loaded instruments on the back stage. The back stage was huge and empty with random chords sticking out. It was about fifteen feet wide, and a large black curtain covered far side. Roxas peeked through the curtain, and was a little startled by how tall the stage was. He tried to not imagine when the floor in front of him would be crowded with people.

He spotted Axel bartending on the other side of the bar, he was chatting with Aerith and Yuffie. Axel was wearing his work uniform and looked complacently calm. At a time like this, Roxas wished he could have Axel's nerve.

Roxas closed the curtains, looking back over at Leon anxiously, "You've played on this stage before, right?"

Leon peered down at him, "I know your nervous, Roxas. You just have to create a bubble around yourself during the show. Focus on nothing but your instrument, and keeping time with my drums."

Roxas bit his lip- that sounded easier said than done.

"How does Cloud know Aerith?" Roxas instead asked, bending down and bringing his electric guitar out of the case. He started plugging it in to the amps, helping Demyx connect them to the circuit board.

"Cloud met Axel through Aerith, actually. Aerith used to go to school here, she was our neighbor that first year. Aerith is good friends with Axel's stepdad, but we met Aerith and Yuffie before him." Leon's accent was thick with memory.

Roxas hummed absently, helping Leon haul his base-drum over to the center of the stage. Roxas propped the snare up, before pausing in thought. Demyx was fiddling with Zexion's Macbook in the corner, trying to get the audio recording device to work. He was singing random lines from one of their songs into a microphone.

"How long have you known Axel?"

Leon blinked, "I've known Axel as an acquaintance for about a year now. I've been seeing him around for longer. I've been playing at High Noon Saloon for two years, and Axel has been working here just as long."

"And Cloud?"

"I met Cloud about a week after he moved to New Zealand. So… a little over three years now?"

Roxas looked fascinated by this information. Leon could tell and was rather amused. He decided to elaborate; Roxas was antsy with nerves but when he was listening to Leon he looked calm. He wanted to help the kid out however he could, Roxas reminded him so much of Cloud. Maybe it was the slightly sad and glazed look Roxas got when he talked about home. Cloud did the same, and it always made Leon want to take away any pain he had experienced.

"Cloud and I met at this surf shop in Dunedin. He was so stuck up, and kept preaching that he was the best surfer from his Islands. I flatly told him one day that nobody gave a shit if he was number one back home, because everyone else was the same from where they were from. That shut him up, and he glared at me every time he saw me after that."

Roxas snorted out loud, he remembered Cloud from back then. Roxas had only been in Junior High School, but Cloud's arrogance was well known had led to a cult-like following. He could have never known by how Cloud had acted that he had been just as desperately lonely. He felt his eyebrows crease. So they hadn't gotten along?

"Then… how?"

"How did we start dating?"

Roxas nodded, trying not to look too eager for the answer.

Leon was on his knees, attaching his hi-hat together as he spoke, "That didn't happen till a long time later. Cloud eventually mellowed after living in New Zealand a while, and he got a job at where I worked. We became friends after that, and I had mentioned to him that I wanted to study abroad in America."

Roxas saw out of the corner of his eyes that Demyx was also listening in.

"He always wanted to go back to school, and he'd made enough money from surfing in competitions, so we came to Madison together and rented a flat. Aerith lived down the hall from us, Yuffie was her roommate."

Roxas watched Leon sit on the small chair behind his drums. He fished out a pair of sticks from his bag, testing the ride symbols in soft rhythmic taps.

"But you were just friends when you first got here, right?" Roxas probed.

Leon nodded, "Yeah, we were friends for a really long time. Then Cloud started dating Tifa, that dark-haired bartender who works here."

Roxas remained silent. Xion was walking behind them, mumbling something as she pulled out clothes from a large bag. She wasn't paying them any attention.

"How long did they date?" Demyx asked from behind them, walking over and sitting cross-legged in front of the drums.

"About four months, they never got serious. They suddenly broke if off, and like a week later Cloud told me… that he had feelings for me." Leon felt a little awkward talking about this because he rarely did so. Roxas knew that these were the most words he'd heard from the stoic man, ever.

"Did you also like him then?" Roxas was so curious about this, beside Dem's obviously gay behavior, he'd never heard about any romance stories involving two guys. Especially two overwhelmingly masculine guys like Cloud and Leon.

Leon was silent for a long minute as he thought back on the beginning of his relationship with Cloud. He didn't know which details he wanted to relay to his friends. Cloud was a very private person, just like him, and he didn't want his boyfriend to be irritated with him for telling personal stories.

"Leon wanted to fuck me, but he wasn't thinking about a relationship." Cloud walked through the back door, smirking playfully at his lover. Roxas and Dem looked up at him expectantly. Cloud also had a badge slung around his neck; he wore tight jeans and a button up shirt. He handed Leon a hummus pita that was wrapped up in paper.

A shadow of a smile crossed Leon's face. "There was a lot of sexual tension, yes. But we depended on each other, and didn't want to complicate our friendship."

Cloud nodded absent-mindedly while he dropped Axel's violin case to the ground, "We tip-toed around each other for nearly two weeks before Leon finally said yes to dating me."

Roxas blinked up at his fellow Islander, "Did you break up with Tifa because you were in love with Leon?"

Cloud gave a cursory glance to his leather-bound boyfriend. Cloud met Roxas's eyes after a long moment. Even Xion was listening in, though her eyes were glued on the cell phone in her hand. Leon was watching Cloud with an inscrutable gaze.

"I guess that would be accurate." Cloud said quietly, almost to himself, "I knew that I wasn't in love with Tifa or anything. I had asked her out and all, because I thought I would feel _something_… but, in the end, I knew that wasn't right. I was leading her on, and she didn't deserve that."

Roxas could understand what he meant. When he'd been dating Namine, it had all seemed too innocent and naive. He hadn't felt many emotions when he asked her out. The act had been obligatory, expected of him. Even when he kissed the quiet blonde girl, he'd never felt the burning sensation of heady _want _or desire. The whole thing had been forced, and he'd eventually broken it off because he could tell she liked him enough, but he would never care about her more than a friend.

Roxas didn't notice when Leon rose to his feet, the brunette reaching over and placing the palm of his hand around the small of Cloud's back. Roxas raised his gaze just in time to see Leon lean over and place the faintest kiss on his boyfriend's forehead. Cloud's eyes fluttered shut and he didn't move away. Xion was gaping silently in the background; Roxas felt his eyes go wide. Demyx just smiled nostalgically.

Roxas stood up, feeling a lot better about… everything. He smiled at his friends cheerfully. It was the second time Leon had ever seen him grin like that.

"We're going to rock this show tonight!" He said enthusiastically, before glancing down at his watch.

"Well… all the instruments are hooked up, and Zexion's going to checking the audio out, so we should probably have Xion do our hair and makeup." Roxas was ticking on his fingers, trying to think if he'd forgotten anything.

Leon glanced at Xion who was still blushing faintly, her expression looking slightly pitiful.

"I'm not wearing makeup," Leon calmly informed her.

This seemed to animate her, because she quickly shook her head and glanced around anxiously.

"Um, yeah, clothes." She muttered, striding back into the dressing room that was attached to the side of the stage. 

Roxas gave Leon a teasing smile, "You just broke another girls heart, Leon."

Cloud snorted and turned to head off the stage, "I'm going to grab that redheaded dipshit."

Roxas stepped forward quickly, "That's okay, I'll grab him."

Cloud smiled softly as Roxas disappeared behind the curtain. Before Madison, Cloud had only known Roxas as one of the various faces in his school. He couldn't remember if he'd ever spoken to him, and he'd known his name only because of his brother, Sora.

The only thing that he remembered about the boy was the he always had a book in hand, and that he sat alone on the beach a lot. He would have never guessed that Roxas would move to Madison, that they would meet again under these circumstances.

During his time working at Monkeywrench, he learned that Roxas had always felt the same as him, and that he had run away regardless of the consequences. It made Cloud feel like they were comrades, slaves who had run away from an oppressive atmosphere to find freedom.

Roxas strode across the bar, smiling at Aerith and moving to hug her. He gave Yuffie an obligatory hug, before hopping up on one leg of a stool. Roxas crossed his arms and leaned over the bar, a husky smile and dancing eyes directed at his boyfriend.

"Are you done yet?" he asked softly, trying to appear coy.

Axel gave him a wicked grin in response, striding over before cocking his head to the side. "I could be. Depends on what you have in mind."

Roxas could see that both Aerith and Yuffie were staring at them, so he winked at Axel cheekily, bringing one finger up to his lips, gesturing that it was secret.

Axel's eyes were mirthful as he quickly untied his apron, chucking it on the back bar carelessly. He glanced apologetically at Aerith and Yuffie. They both looked vastly amused.

"Sorry, ladies. I have some business to attend to," Axel said smoothly, though he spoke with a sensual undertone.

Aerith giggled quietly, Yuffie huffing and crossing her arms, "Oh yeah, like sucking each other off before a show is really considered _business_."

Axel was already pulling Roxas away by looping his arm around the blonde's elbow. They went through a door meant for employees; it was a small break room. Axel went to his locker and pulled off his work shirt to tug on a tight Avenged Sevenfold top. He finally crossed the room and leaned over to kiss Roxas firmly. Roxas brought his arms up around Axel's neck, prolonging the contact. Roxas nuzzled their noses together before pulling away.

Axel grabbed his hand and pulled him out another door. It was still humid outside from the muggy summer day. The sun was bright in the sky despite the fact that it was nearing seven in the evening. There was a set of mismatched chairs assembled up next to the building; Axel plopped in one chair and fished out a cigarette from his pocket before propping it in his mouth.

Roxas smirked and quickly snatched the cigarette away. Axel flinched in surprise. Roxas tossed the unlit cigarette to the ground at his feet and pulled as case from his cargo pocket.

Roxas propped a matching cigarette between his lips, taking a deep drag before passing it over with a wicked look. Axel smirked, immediately smelling the difference.

"Still nervous?" Axel asked when Roxas had settled back into his chair, green eyes staring at the houses in the distance as he took a deep drag.

"That's what the weed is for," Roxas said with his lungs full of smoke.

Axel chuckled and pulled a small cardboard holder out of his jeans, "You'll do just fine. Just fucking listen to Alice sing and the Mad Hater scream and ignore everyone else."

Roxas fumbled with the cardboard, something falling onto his lap. Roxas examined what it was, flipping it over. They were small laminated stickers, one of a cocky looking Alice and the other of a mischievous Mad Hatter.

"For our Fenders," Axel explained affectionately, "I know how pleased you are when we match."

Roxas burst out laughing, a smile plastered on his face. He shook his head and indeed, was pleased. The finished the joint after a long minute, Axel using his long leg to roll the cigarette Roxas had tossed on the ground back towards him.

He lit that, leaning his head back against the wall. He closed his eyes with a soft smile, "Just think of it this way- you think it will be like having someone watch you paint, right? You're nervous that they'll be critically examining you."

Roxas nodded even though Axel couldn't see it.

"But there is a difference. Tonight, people really won't watch you on stage. Most won't even look at you for more than a minute. People come to concerts to listen to the sounds you make from your instrument, and they will probably be fucking thrashing their head so aggressively can't see straight."

Axel's sense of logic never failed to amaze him. What he was saying made perfect sense. Like Leon had told him, make a bubble around yourself. Roxas just had to listen to his fingers pound fret after fret, his singing Alice with Axel's screaming Hatter. Both insane characters, caught in a drunken tea party.

Five minutes before the show, the group was dressed up. They all had tight jeans, tight shirts, studs, and converse. Xion had styled each of them differently, but given them a strange uniformity. The lights behind the stage were dimmed; his band was standing together in a circle with small shot glasses. Zexion took a photograph of the five. Demyx's eyes were shining in the picture.

Aerith, Yuffie, Larxene, Cloud, Terra, Aqua, and Zexion were all mingling together, making tons of noise. Axel had gotten Tifa to take several pictures with the group all together. Yuffie called Cid on her cell to bitch about not showing up for his son's show, it was then that Axel toasted to the Organization XIII being almost all together. Roxas looked around and it finally dawned on him that his entire extended family was present, they had all shown up for the show.

A backstage employee started shooing everyone but the band away, two minutes before curtain. Dem had hidden Zexion behind him, and Cloud was giving Leon a small wave. Xion started to look a little nervous; she would be the first one singing.

Roxas could hear people on the other side of the heavy curtain. Any moment the light would brighten and he would actually be doing this. His heart was thumping in his chest. Axel leaned over, and pecked his forehead before he tightened the guitar straps around his shoulder. Roxas stepped back to the side of the stage next to Zexion where they couldn't be seen.

Leon nodded over at Roxas as the announcer introduced their band over the loud speaker.

Xion looked tiny and slender standing next to Axel in front of Leon's bass drum. She was taking deep breaths. Demyx gave Zexion a cheeky thumb's up as the curtain opened.

The sound of applause came, not as loud as Roxas thought it would be.

Leon tapped his drumsticks together and started pounding rhythmically into the drums. Roxas could see his arm muscles flexing as he tapped the snare in time with the tom toms.

Axel began to strum out chords with his fingers on the violin; he had the bow propped under his arm. Demyx followed on his electric sitar moment later, his fingers were moving so rapidly you could barely see them. The instruments sounded louder than Roxas could ever remember them, he felt like his whole body was vibrating with the noise.

He watched as Xion boldly stared out into the crowd and gave a sinfully arrogant smirk, bringing her slender hands up to the microphone,

"_All of the girls wish to be sexy-_

_Pretty red dress and high heels-_

_Put lipstick on and make me high-_

_High on how gorgeous I am-"_

It was still the bands signature style, but when Xion sang she brought something so different to the music. It was a little more fashionable, a little less irritated than Axel's singing. In her tight fishnet stockings and frilly black Lolita dress she looked spunky and gorgeous. She had on boots to make her look taller, as her head moved to the music, the lights reflected silver off her delicate headband.

"_I really love myself-_

_Let's just be super cute girls-_

_I don't need expensive things-_

_You want me but you can't have it"_

Roxas finally looked over at the crowd. It was packed; he couldn't even see the bar on the other side. There had to be at least a hundred people crammed on the floor below the stage, they were all cheering and jumping in time to Xion's singing. Xion grabbed the microphone from the stand, strutting over to stand next to Axel, swinging her hips.

"_Lady, come on, join the party-_

_Dance Dance-_

_Show me how you're moving-_

_Yeah, they have a crush on you-_

_Baby you're enslaved by charm-_

_No, no, I don't mind, Ah, ah-_

_Nobody can stop me-"_

Xion began dancing around while her skirt flew with her body. Her singing voice was scratchy and strong, pitch perfect. It sounded cocky and rebellious and flippant. The crowd was screaming as Xion danced on stage, her black hair was messily flung into the air. Demyx played the loudest for a moment, giving time for Xion to catch her breath. Her eyes were half-lidded as she continued singing.

"_I fucking love myself-_

_Let's just be super cute girls-_

_I don't need expensive things-_

_You want me but you can't have it_

_They gave me diamonds, bling bling-_

_But they aren't anything-_

_Cause I am much much more-_

_Yes you can't by me, no, no-_

_Different from others-_

_No no, nobody can stop me-"_

Roxas closed his eyes and listened to Xion's voice, his fingers sweaty against the strings of his guitar. He watched his boyfriend play in the background, Axel was trying to keep the focus all on Xion. Roxas glanced back out at the crowd and found that there was truth to Axel's words earlier. Most people were talking to themselves, and the few that were starting at the stage had their eyes on Xion.

"_Lady, come on, join the party-_

_Dance Dance-_

_Show me how you're moving-_

_Yeah, they have a crush on you-_

_Baby you're enslaved by charm-_

_No, no, I don't mind, Ah, ah-_

_You can't fucking ever stop me."_

The song ended, the crowd applauding quite a bit louder this time, a few people blowing whistles at Xion as she bowed quickly, bouncing off the stage. People were talking loudly as Axel strutted confidently in front of the microphone.

Roxas took a deep breath, and his body moved forward in a trance, he could only focus on Axel as he walked closer.

Roxas stood closer to Axel than Demyx, his eyes blinded by the glaring lights. He couldn't even see the crowd, but he knew what the first song they were going to play would be, so he placed his fingers on the correct fret, waiting for Leon's single.

The music started, the noise echoing across the building. He heard Axel's beautiful voice emitting at the top of his lungs, the pounding of the drums in the back of his head, and the low bass ricocheting down to his toes. Plus the sound of his Alice Fender, mixing together so fluidly you couldn't imagine the song without all of the sounds involved.

Roxas would never, ever forget the night of his first live concert.


	6. In love there is dotage and discretion

Liberated

Interlude: _In love there is both dotage and discretion._

By DXMJUNKIE

XXX

Demyx had been crushing on Zexion since the first day he'd met him. It had started off as simple physical attraction, but had quickly escalated into full-fledged obsession.

He'd loved Zexion's deep tenor voice, and how his silky hair always hid one eye. The boy was short, impossibly slender, and he had spindly fingers that Demyx wanted to touch.

Demyx had been freaking out in his mathematics course, unable to comprehend even the simplest formula the teacher was writing on the white board in the front of the class. Zexion happened to be sitting next to him, and was quietly amused by the range of despair and frustration that was obvious on the musicians expressive face. He'd been pulling at his hair tightly; too terrified to raise his hand and expose his blatant ignorance about the subject.

Zexion leaned over, pointing a slender finger on his sloppy handwritten notes, and quietly explained him the problem. He strung the words in a way that Demyx understood immediately. This was a gift in itself, but when Demyx had looked up Zexion's stunning eyes had skidded his thoughts away. They were so deep, and very intelligent. He'd gaped for a moment, before swiftly covering his surprise with a cheerful grin.

After class they shook hands and introduced, Demyx immediately offering to buy the guy coffee for a future tutoring lessons. He knew he would need an ally to survive Algebra 101.

During the next semester, they became study friends. They would meet at the University library at least twice a week and work on their homework, chatting about campus and classes. Demyx passed his course with a B+, something he would have never pulled off if it weren't for Zexion and his patient tutoring. He'd bought a set of expensive chocolates from the shop downtown, knowing that they were the boy's favorites. Zexion happily accepted the gift, and they finally exchanged phone numbers for the first time.

Zexion was perpetually quiet but something about Demyx's personality made him feel more talkative. He seemed so relaxed when he spoke with Demyx, and this made him feel very special since he knew that the only other people Zexion hung out with were his lab partners. Zexion was a dedicated student, and for this Demyx admired him.

Zexion had so many curt and informed opinions that Demyx felt like he was constantly learning something new about the world around him. The man was well versed in politics, world history, advanced grammar, and religious doctrine among other things. Demyx didn't know how Zexion managed to cram all that knowledge in his mind. He'd go crazy if he thought about that stuff all the time.

Even after they weren't in the same class anymore, the pair continued to hang out on a regular basis. Demyx eventually (drunkenly) told Zexion that he was gay, and he'd been out for nearly five years to his 'family' and 'friends' back home. He hadn't told the man that not only was his family life tense, but he also had no friends back home (Axel, Aerith, and Yuffie being the only people he still spoke to from then). Those were two of the innumerable reasons he never returned.

Demyx ranted about some of the crueler things people in his high school had done, and how he didn't feel worried about the same thing happening in Madison. He'd been beaten up more times than he could count, sometimes to the point where he had to miss school for his injuries. His worst memory from back then was when one of the football players in his school forced him to his knees and shoved his dick down his mouth. The football player kept hitting him when he tried to get away, and when he came over Dem's face he'd kicked the poor boy swiftly in the balls, spitting on him with contempt.

Demyx was drunkenly sobbing at the memory, and hugged Zexion and begged him not to hate him. Zexion could do nothing but curl his arms back around him and hold him with a fierce intensity.

The next morning, hungover and realizing that he just outed himself and he didn't clearly remember Zexion's reaction, Dem freaked. Dem sprinted to Axel's house and spent nearly three hours talking without taking a breath.

Axel was dating an asshole named Saix, and though Dem didn't approve of Saix, he knew he could always talk to Axel about this stuff. He'd been helping Demyx since they were kids. Axel would listen patiently, and he understood where he was coming from since he was also gay.

Over a large bowl of weed and coffee, he'd poured his heart out to his redheaded friend. He didn't want Zexion to start ignoring him because of his sexuality. Demyx also confessed about his crush on the quiet genius (Axel had been well aware). He explained how attracted and enthralled he found Zexion's personality. He adored the curt responses and his sharp-as-a-whip sense of humor. Axel tried to comfort him but Demyx was already firmly convinced Zexion hated him now.

After two heartbreaking days, Zexion texted him and asked to meet at the Acoustic Café for lunch. Demyx showed up ten minutes early, fidgeting nervously in front of his laptop while trying to appear busy.

Zexion casually plopped down, ordered food, and began talking like normal. Like nothing had happened.

Demyx couldn't take it after too long, and with the food on the table he started apologizing profusely to Zexion. He was sorry if he made the boy uncomfortable, and said too much last night. He knew that it was probably disgusting, and that being gay wasn't very cool, and he just _didn't_ want his friend to hate him. He promised he would never talk about it again if that was what Zexion wanted.

Zexion gave a condescending look that immediately shut him up. He rolling his eyes nonchalantly at the musician before saying, "Demyx, I don't give a crap if you like guys. You're my friend, and something trivial like sexual preference isn't going to stop that. Seriously- quit being so worried about nonsense."

Demyx had nothing to say to that, but with firm resolution and resignation he knew he would never express his feelings for the scientist. He figured at least being near him was enough. If Zexion was okay with him being gay, that was epic, but he assumed the man didn't want too much gayness directed at him.

Axel broke it off with Siax come springtime, much to Dem's relief. That guy was such a tool.

They spent summer together and Zexion would occasionally attend band practice with Axel and Larxene. When fall came around Demyx got a new roommate. His roommate was this quiet artist kid, who barely spoke five words in a row.

Demyx liked him enough, and one day Roxas mentioned he was going to a bookstore with a guy named Zexion. Demyx had been secretly thrilled.

If Roxas hung out with Zexion more, that would give _him_ more excuses to do the same.

Demyx began forcing Roxas to go to parties with him, and became very quick friends with Axel. Axel never said anything to him personally, but Dem could tell from the way his green eyes sparked when he spoke of the blonde that Axel had feelings for him.

The first time Dem made a move on Zexion was almost a year and half after he'd met him. They had been drinking on State Street for Halloween, rocking to a live concert before playing shuffleboard at the Great Dane. Halloween had a certain air of romance that year. They were decked out in costumes that Roxas's skateboarding friend Xion had made, and Demyx felt sexy but slightly chilled.

His shy-as-shit roommate had finally confessed his obvious affection for Axel, and the two weren't taking their eyes off each other. They would hold hands and hug at random, looking blissful. Larxene was obviously disgusted; Zexion didn't seem to care either way.

This made a stab of loneliness run through Demyx. He hadn't had a boyfriend since high school, and even _that_ had been a sham of a relationship. Dem's first and only boyfriend had been firmly planted in the closet, refusing to budge with anything. His ex didn't want to be gay, and had tried to fight it every step of the way. This disheartened Demyx, and made him wonder if he would ever have a relationship like Axel and Roxas now had.

Demyx had been so happy that Zexion was attending before, but now the action seemed to taunt him with everything he couldn't have.

So Demyx pounded drinks faster, uncaring how intoxicated he became. It was better than soberly stomaching his roommate's picture-perfect romance. He was stupidly bitter, and that made him feel a little worse because he knew he couldn't be happy for Roxas or Axel just yet.

Demyx was too drunk to walk home alone, so Zexion volunteered to take them back to his apartment close by. Demyx bounced around, loudly professing his love and affection for anything and everything. He began hugging random strangers until he nearly tripped.

Zexion pooled his arm around his waist to steady him, but he was still walking crazy. The streets were packed with people heading home, so Dem had taken Zexion's hand and squeezed it, swinging their arms back and forth.

"Wouldn't want to lose you!" Demyx had exuberantly explained, before he continued his tirade of love for the world. These statements held a plethora of unspoken meanings.

The pair arrived at the apartment complex a few minutes later. Zexion's apartment smelled like old parchment and leather-bound books. Zexion set up some blankets on his couch for Dem and grabbed him a glass of water from the kitchen. Demyx was sprawled on his couch, his eyes staring blankly out the window at the streetlight.

Demyx was silent now, thoughtful in his stupor. His mind was spinning, wildly teeming with ideas that he wanted to act on. He wanted so badly to express what he was feeling to Zexion, but he'd never been eloquent with words. Demyx didn't know how to tell the man, and he knew he shouldn't.

Zexion was over in the kitchen, taking off the belts of his costume and wiping the makeup on a washcloth.

Zexion sat down next to him, noticing his odd behavior. He had been about to ask him what was wrong when Demyx animated suddenly, twisting his body towards him.

He reached over and grabbed both sides of Zexion's face, pressing his lips forward and crashing them against gasping mouth. The man stiffened, but Demyx just pressed harder against him, forcing their lips to meld wetly together. Demyx's whole body was on fire, his blood thrumming loudly as he readjusted the contact. His eyes were clenched shut; he didn't want to see the look of horror on Zexion's face.

Demyx felt a tear leak out of his eye when he pulled back, Zexion was giving him an indescribable look. He didn't appear mad, more tentatively cautious. Zexion bit his lip; he wasn't sure why Demyx had kissed him like that. He opened his mouth to say something, but the musician flopped back to the couch.

Demyx promptly passed out.

If outing himself had caused Demyx emotional grief, kissing the man was taking that to the next level. He woke up in Zexion's apartment, still drunk from the night before, and left without saying a word. He was depressed for nearly the entire day, beyond ashamed with himself for force-kissing Zexion.

Demyx wondered if he could simply say he was sorry, he hadn't meant it. He'd been blacked out drunk. He felt like Zexion would be able to tell he was lying.

But none of the things he dreaded had happened.

The man didn't mention it, simply going on with daily life. And if anything, Zexion was by his side more often, multiple times in one day. The two were together almost as much as Roxas and Axel. His roommate pointed out this fact on a daily basis. Roxas was steadily becoming more talkative and cynical. Demyx felt this was heavily Axel's influence.

Right before finals of that year, Zexion got really sick. He'd been a walking corpse for about a week, but still running on all cylinders. Zexion was a dedicated student- he cared about what he was learning. He wanted to do well in school at all costs. Demyx begged him to take a break, and he'd been covertly dropping orange juice, cough drops and nasal spray into the man's backpack.

The musician was equally busy with the upcoming winter ensemble, and received a call from his roommate stating that Zexion was passed out _in his bed_ in their dorm room.

Demyx had been relieved that Zexion was finally getting some rest, but apprehensive about Zexion sleeping in his bed. He hadn't washed his sheets for a week. He hoped that the poor guy didn't think he smelled bad, he knew how particular the man was about smells.

Demyx was silently grateful for Roxas's nagging obsession with keeping friends healthy.

Roxas could act like a mother hen sometimes, chirping loudly over his family. Dem was positive that Roxas had glared sharply at the exhausted Zexion, told the boy to shut up and get some sleep, and bodily dragged him back to their dorm room, forcing him under the sheets. The mental image made him snicker.

At Roxas's suggestion, he'd bought chocolates for his sick friend after practice. He got the dark kind because he knew how much Zexion loved them. Zexion was a chocolate addict, one of the few things he'd verbally confirmed.

Demyx practically sprinted back home after that. Zexion was sweaty and pale and sounded stuffy when he got back, but Demyx still found him incredibly attractive. Even when he was riddled with sickness, Demyx could never find any flaws.

Axel popped in, ushering Roxas home with him. Roxas looked pleased with himself to leave them alone.

Nothing really happened that night. Zexion stayed awake to talk for another fifteen minutes before the cold medicine caught up with him. He passed out, curled around Dem's comforter like it was a giant teddy bear.

While Zexion slept, Demyx sat at his desk in the dark and thought about some of the stuff that had happened recently.

His closest friends all thought that Zexion liked him back, but Demyx was scared to take that risk. Axel stated that Zexion stayed by his side after being forced into a kiss, so he probably had feelings for Dem. But what if he was wrong?

What if Demyx told Zexion that he fucking loved the guy like a creepy stalker? Well, maybe not in those exact words, but something similar. The man would probably think he was gross as hell, and avoid him forever.

Zexion wasn't an easy person to become close too. He was very private, and ignored personal questions like a plague. The facts Demyx knew about him could be ticked off on one hand. Dem went through phases of feeling like he knew exactly what the scientist was thinking, and others where he was unreadable.

Demyx sighed and brought his head down on his desk. He listened to the sound of Zexion's rhythmic breathing, and wondered what the man thought about him. He wondered if Zexion felt even a sliver like he did, or if Zexion ever thought about him during the day.

That's all that Demyx wanted.

He figured he was a hopeless case.

XXX

However, that wasn't quite accurate.

The quiet scientist thought about Demyx all day. The musician's laugh would be ringing loudly in the back of his mind. While he was bent over microscopes, idly copying data into his computer, he thought about how Demyx would like the patterns in the cell-samples.

The boy would find them artistic.

Zexion wasn't stupid, quite the opposite. He knew that Demyx looked at him strangely, and that he didn't do that with anyone else. Demyx was always cheerful, but he was so much more attentive when they were alone. Demyx treated him differently, his eyes always innocently happy and kind.

For the longest time, Zexion wrote this behavior off. Even after Demyx came out to him as gay, he never associated the strange looks with romantic longing. His friend had been frantically worried that Zexion would hate him that day, almost panicking. He'd been fidgeting in his seat, his eyes darting anxiously across the room as he rambled an apology off. Zexion felt a little offended by the apology, what kind of person did Demyx think he was? Did Dem really think that he would stop being friends with him because he was disgusted by his sexual tendencies?

Zexion knew he could never hate the bubbly kid, even if he tried.

The musician was cheerful and dedicated to his music, education and friends. He was loud and expressive and vibrantly social. Demyx tried so hard to please people, almost to the point of obsession. Zexion figured he was one of many friends, nothing particularly special.

In all actuality, Zexion had always been enamored with him. Watching Demyx had been a habit since their first math class. The kid was so fascinating to observe, it made Zexion's mind fuzzy.

He had been firmly asexual throughout high school, rarely acting on his lustful urges besides occasionally masturbating. Zexion focused on his studies and had no intentions of entering a relationship. Relationships where messy and awkward, and Zexion had never been really attracted to anyone. So, why now?

He knew the answer with stifling resignation. With Demyx skipping next to him, any touch from the boy would make his skin burn. All of the casual hugs and pats on the head and playful pushes sparked something deep in him. Something he had couldn't put a name to.

An unconscious switch flipped after Demyx had given him that desperate kiss, his eyes sad and wild and _longing. _He'd been stiff, unsure what to do, but had wanted to kiss the boy back. He wanted it more than he'd ever wanted anything.

Demyx passed out before he could ask for the meaning behind the kiss.

It was only after that first kiss Zexion started to read into Dem's behavior. Zexion's mind was wild as he tried to sleep, thinking about all the _what ifs._

What if, by the slightest chance, the boy_ did_ like him like that- what would this or that particular action mean? He began analyzing everything Demyx had said to him, the way he acted in specific circumstances. What was the boy really thinking?

Demyx was an open book, and Zexion knew he could ask him anything and get a proper answer. But sometimes Demyx would look forlorn, lost, and extremely depressed. Occasionally the shine would leave his usually mirthful gaze, and he just looked lonely.

This loneliness made Zexion's chest hurt, like someone had physically forced the air from his lungs. When Demyx looked like that it seemed so unnatural, so distasteful to him.

He came to a firm decision after some deep contemplation. Zexion thought about every possible outcome. He spent almost a week generating hundred of scenarios in his head. Because the now the questions wasn't what he would do if Demyx didn't like him, it was what he would do if the musician _did_.

He began to imagine what it would be like to confirm his feelings. Would he be able to date the guy? Zexion was scarily sure he would happily do so. Kiss him? He wanted that like he was a drug addict needing a quick fix. Have sex with him?

Zexion's cheeks burned at the thought. What would Demyx look like, aroused? Would his voice get deeper, breathless like he'd been running? His slender body and his toned arms wrapped around him, those callused fingers splaying over his skin. Zexion longed to see that, so much so that he formulated an immediate plan.

He devoted every spare second he had into seeing Demyx, making sure he was happy. He brought the boy coffee at band practice, or helped him with his biology homework.

The more he got to know Demyx, the stronger his feeling plagued him. Demyx became his ideal, most people paled in comparison. Only Demyx could express thoughts in plain language and sound so eloquent and introspective. He was smart and optimistic. When they were together, a weight in Zexion's chest lifted and he felt like he could just be himself, no pretense.

Demyx didn't care that he was quiet, he didn't care that Zexion hated talking about himself. Demyx was always sensitive when it came to Zexion's past, somehow just knowing when to speak and when to remain silent.

At the end of winter break that year Zexion finally put a name to the feeling he had. It was after he had seen Roxas lean up to kiss Axel while they smoked a cigarette, whispering to him, "_Love you_."

Zexion was in love with Demyx. He was in love with how the man lived, breathed, and most of all played music. He didn't care even when Demyx was annoying, screeching about his professors loudly when he was trying to get work done. He adored every angle to the kid's personality, and knew all of his quirks and pet peeves. Zexion would do anything to make Demyx happy, because it made him happy in turn.

But this revelation couldn't change Zexion's basic nature. He was horrible at expressing himself, and even worse when he was nervous.

So Zexion waited patiently by Demyx's side. He was perfectly content with staying friends even if the boy didn't like him romantically. It wouldn't change his feelings, though Zexion privately dreaded the day Demyx would find a boyfriend. The boy was so damn adorable that it wouldn't take long if he set his mind to it.

But, if Demyx truly liked him back- truly had the same intense hopeless attraction as him- he would eventually crack. Zexion just had to be there when it happened.

And crack he did, though not without the help of two mischievous friends.

XXX

They were in High Noon Saloon after Organization XIII's first live show. Before the show even started Roxas looked like he was going to puke from nerves. Leon started talking to calm him down, and Demyx assumed Axel also said something because the kid had a spark of happy aggression in his eyes right before the show. Roxas played like he'd always been on stage, and unless you were really looking at him you couldn't spot how nervous he was.

The band played in perfect unison, making no mistakes and driving the crowd wild. Xion was the perfect opener, her scratchy voice both chilling and sensual.

Axel sang with everything he had, throwing his whole body into the performance. Demyx focused only on his instrument, his eyes were closed as though in a dream. When they played like that, you couldn't really tell who made what sounds, it all just melted together into a punkish wail.

Zexion recorded the show on his computer; he'd attached speakers to the microphone to get the best sound quality.

Demyx felt a little out of place in the punk clothes Xion fitted him into, but he was thrilled that so many of his friends came to the event. He hadn't seen either Aerith or Yuffie in a long time.

The curtain was closed around the stage. Axel and Roxas were swapping spit in the corner, congratulating each other. Demyx envied how uncaring of the world they were.

Leon was disassembling his drums, rolling chords around his arm while placing his tom toms in large cases. Cloud helped him out, and from the corner of his eye Dem spotted Leon staring at Cloud's ass when he bent over.

Zexion came up to him and said he'd loved the show. Demyx beamed back, happy the boy had finally seen him play live. He wondered if Zexion had truly enjoyed the performance, he knew he liked more classical and refined music.

Zexion had enjoyed it. He couldn't take his eyes off Dem during the entire show. Zexion realized that this show was one of the rare instances he could blatantly stare at Demyx. So he sat on an amp and leaned over his laptop while his eyes examined every inch of Demyx's body. He watched the smooth hips swing and his heavy boot tap in time to the beat. He watched his Adam's apple bob as he scrunched his face in concentration.

After Larxene had left the band to focus on school, Dem hadn't known when the next time he would play in front of a crowd would be. Playing on stage like that was his favorite feeling, all the people listening to the sounds he created.

Dem stood close to Zexion, laughing at something Larxene said. Zexion thought Demyx looked stunning- flushed and sweaty and oh so satisfied with himself.

A pair of arms wound around Demyx's stomach, he looked over his shoulder and saw Yuffie hugging his back. Zexion was giving her an unreadable look as she smiled up at him.

"You were so amazing, Dem!" Yuffie cheered, releasing him after a long beat.

Larxene scoffed, "Oh great, the ninja wanna-be shows up."

Zexion saw the girl's eyebrow twitch in irritation. Yuffie chuckled lowly, crossing her arms in defiance. Yuffie was very short, at least a foot shorter than the scientist, but she managed to look very intimidating.

"Oh, hi Larxene." She said sarcastically, "Didn't see you. Thought you were too busy trying to give Terra head since we all know you still have the hots for him."

Larxene's eyes turned menacing, her fists clenching and she started to move foreword. Demyx shot his arm out, pushing the two girls away from each other.

"Now, now, suck it up and be civil. Would that kill you?"

"Yes," the girls responded in unison, expressions tart.

Zexion chuckled and finally remembered to introduce himself to the girl who hugged Dem, "I don't believe we've met. I'm Zexion."

Yuffie looked up at him, extending her hand. Her face turned from scary to peppy so fast Zexion nearly missed the transition.

"So _you're_ the science hottie that Demyx always talks about," Yuffie told him, quirking her eyebrow in curiosity.

Demyx blanched, quickly grabbing Zexion's wrist, "Well, then, that's enough of that. Zexion, lets get the stuff in the car so we can go back home and get our drunk on!"

He tugged Zexion behind him and out the back doors before letting out a relieved sigh. Zexion looked confused.

"Sorry," Dem sounded sheepish, "Yuffie is a bit much sometimes."

Zexion looked amused, he threw his backpack with his computer in the car. Demyx stretched his arms up in the air, watching Cloud and Leon load the trunk. They didn't look like they needed any help, so he strode over and plopped into a chair against the wall.

Axel was lounging in the chair next to him, smoking a cigarette. Zexion followed suit a moment later.

"Where's Roxas?" Dem asked conversationally.

Axel let out a puff of smoke, "Chatting it up with Aerith. Those two get along very well."

Dem smiled, hand extending in a silent request for a cigarette. Axel handed him one, forking over his lighter a moment later. Demyx rarely smoked, but he always had at least one cigarette after a live show. The nicotine would call him down.

It was an old tradition since back when Axel and him had smoked after he'd been beaten up after school. The redhead always had cigarettes on him back then, and Axel had needed one to stomach the abuse Demyx received. He'd been so protective of Demyx, getting into fights often to protect him.

Demyx would always cherish Axel as his oldest friend.

"He did really well on stage, I was a little worried about him," Axel continued a moment later. Demyx smiled absently.

"You don't really have that much faith in him, do you?" Zexion asked sarcastically.

Axel sighed, "No, that's irrelevant. You guys** do** realize how much he's changed since we first met him, right? Could you have imagined him going up on a stage in front of that crowd, even if it didn't require talking?"

Demyx and Zexion thought about for a moment. Absolutely not.

Axel assumed this was their answer so he continued, "I'm so proud of him. Not many people can get over stage fright."

"Talking about me?" Roxas teased from the door, poking his head out with a smile. Axel held his arms out; Roxas walked over and sat in his lap, spooning around his torso. Axel held his cigarette away from Roxas, turning his head to rest his cheek against blond spikes so he could take another puff.

"You did awesome tonight," Demyx told him honestly. Zexion nodded when Roxas glanced over at him.

Roxas's cheeks got a little rosy and buried his face in Axel's jacket. Demyx could understand why Axel thought he was so damn cute.

"Hey assholes! Wanna give us a hand instead of sitting on your ass well we haul your shit?" Cloud yelled loudly through the door. He crossed his arms and glared down at them.

Demyx and Roxas got up immediately to follow him back inside. The door shut behind them.

Once they were out of hearing distance, Axel turned his head to Zexion.

"Sooo~" he huffed, "Guess who was stripping Demyx naked with his eyes during the show?"

Zexion blushed, immediately turning to glare at the man. "No idea."

"Yeah, right." Axel teased, "I looked over at you while I was singing. You were blatantly staring at Dem's ass, looking like you were trying to hide a woody with your laptop."

Zexion huffed as he crossed his arms in agitation, "Dream on."

"So you don't wanna shamelessly screw Demyx Milnes?" Axel asked with a mischievous voice.

"Of course I d-" Zexion bit his tongue sharply, cutting off the rest of his words. His entire face was flushed up to the tips of his ears. He looked a little ashamed of himself.

"Bing, bing." Axel tipped his index finger into the air. "We have our answer."

Zexion gave him a wry glance, inwardly pouting. Axel chuckled warmly, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the stars.

"Well you want to, and Dem wants to, so where is there a problem?" He asked seriously.

"Demyx doesn't want to-"

"Oh, shove it already. He wouldn't have friggin rape-kissed you if he didn't want it."

"This is none of your business, Axel." Zexion said curtly, jolting out of his chair.

Axel reached over and grabbed Zexion's wrist, giving him an imploring look. The man dropped back into his chair cautiously.

"Listen, I know it's none of my business, okay? But I just see you both suffering sometimes, and I want you to be happy." Axel told him sincerely. "I've known Demyx almost my whole life, Zexion, I get the kid."

Zexion glanced over at him curiously. He didn't know very much about Demyx's childhood, other than it was painful.

"I'm not sure if Demyx told you some of the shit that happened to him when he was young, right?"

"A few details." Zexion responded quietly, fingers crossing in his lap with a frown.

"Well, Demyx had it fucking rough. The only boyfriend he's ever had was ashamed of him, and mind-fucked Demyx into believing he was something disgusting. Aerith and Yuffie were two grades older than us so I was the only person who would talk with Dem at school. But I couldn't be around all the time, and they always found ways to get him alone and kick the shit out of him."

Axel cracked his knuckles with a sneer of disgust, "Those kids were fucking horrible. Makes me sick to think about."

The redhead took a deep breath, voice finally steady, "What I'm trying to say is that Demyx has been lonely his entire life. He honestly doesn't believe that anyone could ever romantically love him for who he is. He thinks no one will ever care about his thoughts or dreams. And I know that _you_ do."

Zexion was silent. His mind was spinning with disbelief. How could Demyx ever think that? It was how Zexion had felt his entire life.

"I know this because you look at Dem with the same eyes that Roxas looks at me. You are both reserved people, and you try to hide everything painful or unpleasant from other people."

Axel leaned closer, "And you both are so easy to read."

Zexion finally met his gaze, not sure why these words calmed him. Normally he would found that statement offensive, but right now it didn't sound like a vice at all.

"Just talk to him. Demyx will listen to anything you say. And I'm sure-" Axel cut off his statement when the door swung open, Larxene and Xion walking out.

Xion looked giddy, she was twirling around the parking lot. Zexion closed his eyes, contemplating Axel's conversation as he listened to the idle chatter.

When he opened them, Demyx was looking down at him with a huge grin. He had his sitar case strapped around his back, and his cheeks were flushed with exertion. His eyes were so bright, translucent. He held his hand out to help the scientist get up, giving him a tilted cocky smile.

"You ready for tonight?"

XXX

Demyx had never seen so many people in his house before. They'd had some pretty big parties here before, but this was insane. He was glad he'd locked his room.

The house was humid from body heat even with all the windows wide open. They had a bonfire lit in the backyard in the back; Axel was gleefully pouring gasoline on it. It felt a little suffocating in the living room, so he headed to his basement. Larxene and Xion were behind the bar. They both sported low cut tops, and the tip jar showed how much such a simple thing could make you money.

Demyx looked around, searching for Zexion. The man had been unusually quiet on the drive back and he looked like he was thinking about something. It made Demyx a little uneasy.

Demyx had Xion fill up his beer again, and he spun around trying to avoid the college students grinding to the music. He climbed the stairs, quickly going out to the backyard. The night had cooled down a lot, and Demyx felt like the house was at least fifty degrees hotter than outside.

Roxas was talking lowly with Axel, when he spotted Dem he gave a huge smile. Roxas pecked his boyfriend on the cheek and strode over to Demyx. He looked a little intoxicated and slightly suspicious. Like he had a secret.

"Dem, let's go on the roof!" Roxas told him enthusiastically, grinning as he wound his arm around Dem's shoulder and usher him back inside. He pushed Dem through the door to the back stairs, it was much quieter upstairs but the floor beneath them was vibrating because of the bass.

"Why the roof?" Demyx questioned with a playful smile, not really caring about the destination.

"I want to have a congrats joint with you, and Axel doesn't want to smoke right now." Roxas explained, grabbing his keys out of his pocket to unlock his room. He flipped the light and closed the door behind him, turning the doorknob to relock it. They set down their open drinks on the dresser.

"Axel _doesn't_ want to smoke?" Demyx said incredulously, "That doesn't sound like him at all."

Roxas nodded, grabbing the tin from the desk and propping the window open. He climbed out with expert ease, swiftly shimmying his way up the roof. Demyx followed him, glad that he was still going to be outside.

From the roof you could see the far end of the backyard. Demyx spotted a set of bare butt-cheeks; a guy was peeing in the yard. He chuckled, sitting on an awning as Roxas opened the cooler to grab him a PBR. PBR was kind of like drinking piss, but it got the job done and a thirty pack was fifteen bucks.

Roxas pulled out the joint, lounging next to him. He lit it, eyes scrunched as he took a deep drag. He coughed for a moment at the harsh smoke, waving his hand in front of his face to get rid of the smoke he exhaled.

"_So_, guess what I heard from a wee birdy tonight?" Roxas finally cooed, passing the joint.

Demyx rolled his eyes, "You did look totally suspicious earlier."

"Hah!" Roxas laughed, drinking his beer to wet his throat, "Well, apparently Axel looked over at Zexion during the show tonight and he was staring at your ass the entire time."

Demyx snorted in disbelief, "I'm sure Axel thought he was."

Roxas flipped open his cell phone, scrolling to his image folder. He selected an image and passed his phone over while Dem gave him the joint back.

It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the harsh glare, but he felt his cheeks flame up when he looked at the picture. Roxas must have snapped it after the show, Zexion was telling Dem how much he had loved their music. Zexion was musing his fingers through Dem's hair; he had a peaceful but absent smile on his face. Demyx stared at the image, amazed that the man could have such a dazzling expression.

"Demyx, I think its time you admit to yourself that Zexion likes you in a- well, far more friendly manner." Roxas hedged.

"Zexion is straight, Roxas," Demyx quipped, flipping the phone shut and snagging the joint.

Roxas sighed into his hand; this was really a hopeless case. Axel had relayed to Roxas the entire conversation outside, and had suggested that he talk to Demyx. Watching those two dance around each other was so irritating. They were so oblivious yet so obvious.

"Demyx, I will never understand your self-confidence complex." Roxas said tartly, his lungs full of smoke.

Demyx flinched, "What do you mean?"

"I mean come on, you have such a hard time believing that people genuinely like you." Roxas always had a knack for being blunt.

"Did Axel tell you that?" Demyx said darkly.

"What? No! Jeeze, Demyx, it's really not that hard put two and two together. You try so hard to please people, and yet you never let people do anything for you. Can't you tell how hard Zexion works to be by your side, to keep you happy?"

Demyx deflated and reasoned, "Even if he did, I mean, hypothetically speaking, _like_ me like me, what would happen?"

Roxas squashed the spent joint beneath his shoe. "What are you, five?"

Roxas stood up, jamming his hands in his pockets and staring off at the capitol building. He turned and looked down at his friends. Roxas's blue eyes were shining for sincerity.

"I think that being with him would make you incredibly happy. Dem, you supported me every step of the way with Axel. Hell- I wouldn't have met him if it weren't for you. And I see you with Zexion- and you just look fucking thrilled. Like there is nothing in this world that makes you happier."

Demyx nodded, that was true. He loved his other friends sure, but he would stop anything and everything just to have a quiet afternoon with Zexion.

Demyx puffed a big breath, standing up. He stared at Roxas for a moment, before giving him a gentle smile. His eyes were warm and affectionate as he pulled the shorter boy into a one-armed hug.

"I'm really happy you're my friend Roxas." Demyx told him. "Some day, we are going to make it big and go back to your crappy hometown and throw a party they will never forget. We will show them how amazing and talented and ambitious we are, I just know it."

Roxas hugged him briefly before laughing, "Oh my god, I can't even imagine playing in front of them. Their eyes would be popping out of their skulls."

Demyx went back downstairs to the party and felt a lot calmer. He spotted Zexion reading at the table, cornered in by the fridge and blatantly ignoring the drunk people around him.

Zexion's eyes flickered up when he stood next to him. Demyx took another chair and flipped it around, casually lounging on its back. He smiled warmly at his friend, Roxas's words ringing loudly in his ears.

"Having fun?" He asked, already knowing the answer. Zexion wasn't big into parties since he didn't drink often.

Zexion rolled his eyes, a shadow of a smirk gracing his face, "Oh, a blast. Where did you disappear off to?"

"Roxas dragged me to the roof, he wanted to talk to me alone."

Zexion's eyebrows raised, he leaned forward as he dropped the book to his lap, "What about?"

Demyx paused, pursing his lips. He leaned forward a little so their faces were only a few inches apart. He looked serious as he spoke, but his voice was playful and had a conspirator edge.

"Do you ever feel like our friends are trying to get us together?"

Whatever Zexion had been expecting him to say, that wasn't it. Zexion barked out a laugh, his book dropping to the floor. He hid his smile behind his hand, nodding rapidly, looking wickedly amused.

Demyx started laughing wildly, the sound pure and unadulterated. Zexion joined him a moment later, his cheeks becoming red as he laughed honestly. They both probably looked crazy, clutching their sides.

Zexion calmed down first. "Axel cornered me earlier."

Demyx rolled his eyes in amusement, "Those meddling kids."

Zexion nodded silently, suddenly feeling a little awkward. He looked back up at Demyx, who was staring at him intently. He looked like he wanted to say something more, and Zexion so desperately wished he would just spit it out.

"Have you… ever thought about it?... _Us_?" Demyx asked him breathlessly, only loud enough so Zexion could hear his words.

After a few seconds Zexion nodded slowly, feeling dizzy as he added, "All the time."

Demyx's eyes were intense and bore into him. Demyx slowly reached his hand down and twined their fingers together, padding his thumb against the back of Zexion's hand.

"Me too." He whispered.

Those words nearly made Zexion's heart jump out of him. Did he really mean… that? He felt his breath hitch; he leaned forward anxiously, searching Demyx's eyes for confirmation.

Demyx was trembling slightly, before flinching when Yuffie called out his name. They jolted back in surprise, both looking a little guilty. Yuffie chuckled, bringing her hand in front of her face and waving it gaily in their direction.

"Ahaha- _never mind then_. You guys just continue what you were doing." She quickly disappeared into the living room, shouting, "Yo, AXEL!"

Zexion sighed, knowing exactly what Yuffie was going to tell the redhead. He wasn't sure if he really liked that girl.

Demyx took a deep breath and glanced back over at him. Zexion looked a little flushed when their eyes met.

A silent understanding was planned. They stood up in unison and disappeared through the stairs and up to top floor, still holding hands. They headed into Demyx's room, locking the door behind them and sitting on his bed.

Demyx was suddenly feeling a lot more sober. He wished he had brought his drink up with him to steady his nerves.

There was a long awkward silence. Zexion was staring at the floor, Demyx leaning back on his arms and looking at the ceiling.

Demyx finally let out a huff of air. He really just wanted to get everything out in the open. Roxas had been right- he would be _so_ happy if he had the opportunity to be with Zexion. It would be worth a shot. And with that thought in mind he opened his mouth and spoke.

"Zexion, I… I'm a pretty pathetic person," Demyx frowned, that wasn't how people normally started a love confession.

Zexion was staring at him unnervingly.

Demyx plowed through, "and sometimes I can be a little emo. I don't know why, but I feel like I've been alone all my life. I've never really been any good with people. But-" Demyx paused, "But when I'm with you, I've never been so happy. I'm never worried anymore because you are always there to steady me, listen to me, keep me sane." 

Demyx finally looked at him, his eyes frantic, "And… I kissed you on Halloween because I'm fucking obsessed with you." He winced, holding his hand up, "No, wait, I don't mean- like that."

Zexion let out a small smile as he watched this beautiful boy struggle with the words. He'd never seen Demyx so nervous, and Zexion was incredibly hopeful about where he was going with this rambling.

"I did because I've always liked you, since the first day I met you in that shitty algebra class." Demyx met his eyes again. Zexion knew he would never have his strength. "But you are so smart and amazing! And so beautiful and hard-working and graceful and…" Demyx was almost whispering, _"sexy_."

"And I know this sounds horrible, but for a long time I couldn't be properly happy for Axel and Roxas. I was just bitter, because I felt like I could never have that with, um, you." Demyx's eyes finally dropped. He clamped his mouth shut, letting Zexion absorb the information he'd just spewed.

Zexion let out a shaky laugh, reaching up and stroking Demyx's cheek with his hand. That certainly got Dem's attention, his eyes jolting to meet his. Zexion knew what he was going to say, and how cheesy and cliché and true it was.

"I am also certainly in love with you, Demyx. Axel made it sound as though it was written across my face. I have also felt this way since I first met you, and," Zexion's words were calm and matter-of-fact.

Demyx's breathing hitched as Zexion continued huskily, "I want to be your boyfriend so badly I could _die_."

Demyx's arms flung around him in wild abandon. He began crushing their bodies together and pushing Zexion to the bed. Demyx's face was buried in Zexion's shirt; he was trying so hard not to cry. He finally lifted his head up, the tears betraying him as he sniffed loudly.

Demyx knew Zexion would never say something like that without being absolutely certain. And he was smiling up at Demyx with the same expression as the picture on Roxas's phone.

"Me too-!" The boy finally started wailing pathetically, overwhelmed with relief. Zexion leaned up on his shoulders and patted his head with that smile, his eyes looking laden with emotion.

Demyx was harshly rubbing his tears on his shirtsleeve, his eyes were red when he implored with a loud sniff, "Can I kiss you?"

"Please," Zexion whispered back.

Demyx pushed forward again, and this kiss was a lot different than the first. Zexion had never really kissed before, but instinct told him what to do. Their tongues met without resistance, fingers grasping at hair and jutting shoulder blades. Zexion suddenly felt too hot, his mind could only focus on wet lips rubbing together.

Demyx groaned, nipping at his tongue and lips. He was much more aggressive than Zexion would have pictured, not that it matter either way. He'd wanted this, ached for it. Zexion pushed at Demyx, rolling him over so Zexion was on top. Zexion kissed down into his mouth, memorizing his taste and exploring the heated cavern. He let his fingers rub down Demyx's slim hips, thumb curling through a belt loop. He pulled back, playfully nipping at the boy's neck.

They kissed again, more chastely, slowing down a little. Their breath came out in puffs, fanning each other's face.

Demyx reached his hands up, pushing Zexion's hair back so he could look at his entire face. He had never felt so thankful for something in his entire life.

Demyx gulped, trying to steady his breath, "Will you be my boyfriend?"

Zexion nodded sharply, kissing him again with languid pleasure. "Yes," he said into Dem's lips, it made shivers roll down his spine.

Demyx giggled both giddy and light-headed. He nuzzled into Zexion's neck and couldn't keep the grin off his face.

Demyx leaned forward and kissed him firmly, leaning up so their bodies were pressed tightly. Demyx scratched his nails against the fabric, unsure if Zexion would allow him to continue.

But Zexion was just as needy, just as aroused.

He quickly began nibbling the musician's slender neck, pushing his hand under his shirt to feel the taunt abs. Demyx trembled, and tried to remain still.

Zexion huffed and leaned up, moving to pull Dem's shirt over his head. After the fabric had been torn away, Zexion gave Demyx a look he'd never seen before. It was anxious, but so so so glazed with helpless _want_ that it made his whole body tingle in anticipation.

Zexion pushed his lips against his lover's mouth, fingers exploring every inch of exposed skin with his unsteady fingertips. Demyx moaned, eagerly lapping at the proffered tongue, feeling Zexion's soft fingers rub over his nipples.

Zexion pulled back, eager to get a good look at his new boyfriend, since he had thought about it on many occasion. But Demyx wasn't really feeling too patient, so he took the chance to pull off Zexion's black shirt.

The kneeled on the bed, facing each other, letting skin glide against skin. They kissed sensually, all tongue and teeth and wild lust.

Demyx was getting more impatient as the teasing foreplay continued; he firmly pushed Zexion down to the bed, lips latching to a nipple.

He fumbled with the button of his jeans, pulling the zipper down and lowering his head before raising his eyes. He was looking for any signs of hesitance, and the needy look Zexion was giving him spurred him forward.

He pulled out Zexion's erection, grasping it firmly between his sweaty palms. The boy gasped, watching him intently. Demyx started splaying butterfly kissed over his stomach, unbearably turned on by the look and feel of Zexion. He finally traced his tongue around the end of the man's head, making his breath hitch. Demyx started lapping at the throbbing flesh, wrapping his tongue around as much as he could.

"No, wait-" Zexion told him desperately, Demyx immediately pulled away, wondering if he'd done something wrong.

Before Demyx could open his mouth, Zexion was fumbling with the button of the musician's pants, forcing them down Demyx's waist.

Demyx blushed, and quickly pulled the material off, leaving himself utterly exposed in front of his boyfriend. He was little worried that this part would freak Zexion out, but the heated look in his eye blew those doubts away. Zexion thought Demyx looked fucking perfect, his long erection jutting from his body.

Zexion quickly pulled off his own pants; he was trembling slightly as he brought his body foreword, their erections brushing together. Demyx let out a moan, grabbing the scientist's slender hipbones and pressing them closer

Zexion's nerves were unequivocally shot.

He leaned forward, canine teeth biting into the slender drop of Demyx's collarbone. Demyx curled his fingers into the base of his neck.

They began to grind against each other, the friction far too much to take for Zexion. He opened his mouth and silently cried out, clutching at Demyx's bare skin. Demyx brought his hand between them, he began stroking himself firmly, his own peak not long after.

They flopped on their sides, breathing heavily and enjoying the sticky intimacy. Demyx leaned forward and kissed Zexion, their movements lazy and unfocused.

Demyx finally curled his body toward his boyfriend, bringing his arms around so they were glued together. He was a little shy now that they regaining consciousness, his lamp duly illuminating every inch of skin.

Zexion sensed this, and reached up flicking off the light. Demyx pulled at his comforter, and managed to get it pooled around them. They were cuddling back towards one another; Dem's face was buried in Zexion's chest.

Demyx finally pulled back away, leaning his head on the pillow so that their noses nearly touched.

"Is this real?" He asked, feeling a little drowsy.

Zexion pecked his lips to Dem's nose, humming, "I hope so."

Demyx smiled, curling his fingers into Zexion's long silky hair. God, he loved the man's hair.

The pair fell asleep without a care in the world. 


	7. Out of the frying pan into the fire

Liberated

Part VI. _Out of the frying pan, into the fire._

By DXMJUNKIE

XXX

One day randomly after the night of their first live concert together, Zexion and Demyx started dating.

The group assumed that this would have never happened if not for several well placed nudges from their roommates. The couple now acted just as sickeningly sweet as Axel and Roxas had been the year before, barely leaving each other alone. They didn't PDA as much as their roommates, but they would often be holding hands under the table, or blatantly ignoring people for each other.

Most of the core 'family' was thankful. Now they didn't have to listen to Demyx complain about being alone anymore, and now Zexion didn't seem to have such a stick up his bum. Axel told them that getting laid does wonders for people, but the transformation in Zexion was a little abrupt. Zexion was suddenly smiling all the time, constant open expressions flickering across the scientists face. It creeped the hell out of his labmates. Even Xion was still a little weirder out when Zexion would grin, even if the expression was only directed at Demyx.

Yet there will always be people who dislike gays or even just seeing other people happy, so subsequently a few acquaintances stopped attending parties at the house, which was now dubbed, "The Homo Hideaway."

Roxas didn't find the nickname too amusing, but lived with it because it wasn't _too_ far from the truth. What with Cloud and Leon stopping by almost every night to practice or do homework, Demyx and Zexion making out in the kitchen, or his own nighttime activities with his incredibly sensual lover- the gay ratio in the house was rather skewed.

Roxas and Cloud began pulling full time at Monkeywrench, because there was a skateboarding competition being held right outside of town and business had temporarily doubled. Roxas was planning on attending the competition because Tony Hawk was rumored to make a cameo, but his plans soon changed.

Without Roxas knowing, Cloud planned an entire end-of-the-summer trip. Cloud was relatively rich not only from his father's company, but from the money he had earned as a professional surfer. Even the steep Madison tuition had barely dented his checkbook, and he wanted a vacation with the closest friends he'd ever had.

Cloud already had good friends, of course. Nothing close to Leon, but he still adored Aerith and Tifa, and could tolerate Yuffie to some extent. Cloud had never really had friendships with such a variety of people before, mostly surfers from back home that he didn't really care about. But this group was different. He started hanging out a lot more with Axel, who had a very similar taste in music and knew when to hell shut up. Zexion always brought him new books about surfboard construction from his part-time job at the library, and went out of his way to bring coffee them when they were in band practice. Cloud attended every practice, and would occasionally pick up the acoustic guitar since it was the only instrument he knew.

Xion dropped by the shop to see Roxas, and he found himself casually chatting about Leon with the lively fashion apparel student. Xion was very retrospective, and he appreciated her point of view. Xion had long since given up her crush on his Kiwi (New Zealand slang), which relieved Cloud though he knew nothing would ever come from it. Even Demyx, whose basic personality had put Cloud on edge, was beginning to mellow and placate. Demyx played music beautifully, and since he started dating Zexion Cloud appreciated him a lot more.

Cloud had never put much stock in depending on people, but it was something he had desperately yearned for since he was a kid. As Roxas always put it, these people had become his family. Leon was already someone irreplaceable and he would kill to keep him safe, but Cloud was even becoming oddly protective of Roxas. Which is why he planned the trip without telling him.

Cloud knew that Roxas wouldn't be thrilled when he told him the destination, but Cloud understood that both Islanders needed closure. Roxas had changed so much in the last year, and he wanted Roxas to move on from the past hurts. But sometimes Cloud wasn't sure if he was pushing this on Roxas because he had good intentions, or because of his own uneasy feelings.

So in the middle of the summer, he'd told Axel, Xion, Leon, Aerith, Yuffie, Dem, and Zexion to keep their schedules clear for the last week of summer. Since Cloud was technically Roxas's boss, he knew the boy would have a clear schedule.

It was the middle of August when he finally told Roxas his intentions. They were lounging on a set of plush couches in the back room, unpacking blocks of new wheels and sticking price tags to them. Roxas was humming one of Axel's songs under his breath, calm and at ease. He was wearing one of Axel's zip-ups over his work shirt and it made him look older.

Cloud felt a little guilty for this, but he had already purchased the plane tickets so-

"Hey, Roxas, I have a gift for you for the end of summer." Cloud said, setting another pallet of wheels in front of him and trying to act casual. He sat on the ground in front of Roxas, crossing his legs.

Roxas gave an incredulous look, his hands pausing, "What kind of gift?"

"A vacation. I bought plane tickets for everyone; we are going to leave in three days. I'm going to have Matt come in and take care of the shop while we are gone."

Roxas was a little taken aback, "Okay. So where are we going?"

"Home." Cloud said firmly, toying with a frayed stray string on the bottoms of his jeans before looking down at the boy anxiously. He didn't know what kind of reaction to anticipate.

Roxas frowned deeply, his hands resting in his lap as he thought about this statement for a long minute. His eyes misted over as he stared blankly at the wall behind Cloud's head. He was obviously caught in a reverie. Roxas finally sighed, bringing his hand up to smooth through his spikes. The chain attached to his cuff and lip ring jingled against his cheek.

"Why?" He finally asked, voice distant and slightly wounded.

"Because I want you to play a show in front of those assholes." Cloud told him, learning forward with his weight resting on his knees.

Roxas's blue eyes met his, they looked hurt and a little angry, "But-"

"Roxas, _I know_. I know exactly _why_ you don't want to go home, okay?" Cloud sighed, deflating; "I know your family didn't acknowledge your birthday for three years, and that they didn't even notice when you went six months without speaking. I know that you were perpetually invisible, and it nearly killed you."

Cloud looked a little pained as he continued, "I know how hard it is to have expectations that you can never live up to. Where even if you are speaking they don't hear the words, they just continue forcing you to do what they want."

Roxas nodded faintly until he finally muttered, "You want us to play a show?"

Cloud sighed, glad to continue past this awkward conversation, "I'm going to throw a huge party, Madison style, and rock the Island off her foundation. Show those people up, at least a little."

Cloud bit his lip sharply, knowing he needed to comfort Roxas, "Of course Axel will be there. And Dem and Zexion, Xion, Leon, Aerith and Yuffie. You won't be left alone with them, Roxas."

Roxas nodded again, though he looked unsure.

So Cloud pulled his trump card, "We are your family, Rox. We are going to stay by your side like a family should."

"I don't have any money for a plane ticket." Roxas protested weakly.

"I already told you that this was my gift. Don't worry about money Roxas, this trip is for closure."

"Closure?" He echoed, voice barely above a whisper. His eyebrows scrunched, "Does everyone else know about this already?"

Cloud winced, "I told them not to tell you. Even Axel, I made him promise, so don't be mad at him. I wanted to tell you myself, Islander to Islander."

Roxas understood his logic, though he knew it must have been hard for Axel to keep his mouth shut. Roxas imagined that the redhead would have tried talking Cloud out of it, or at least picking a different destination.

But Cloud was watching him earnestly, waiting for an answer. So Roxas quickly shifted his train of thought, and pondered about what might happen if he did go home.

He imagined his brother openly gaping at his pierced face, the jigsaw lines shaved in his skull, his tight jeans and punk wristbands and beat-to-hell Converse. He imagined Seifer or Hayner watching their band play, Xion shrieking out songs while Axel rocked on his Mad Hatter Fender.

He imagined Riku confronting him, scowling at him and telling him that he should have never came home. But if that was to happen, he thought about how Leon, or Axel, or even Cloud himself would come to his rescue and defend him. He wouldn't have to face this alone.

Plus, Namine was back on the Islands. She had emailed him earlier that summer, asking if he ever planned to go back. He hadn't seen her since her family moved away, and she was his only remaining friend back home. Roxas hadn't exactly told her about Axel yet, but this would be the perfect chance to. Conversations like that needed to be in person, after all.

"I'll go." Roxas told him, before amending, "But only if you promise not to leave me alone with Sora, or Riku. Or Seifer, or Hayner, or Pence or-"

"I get the picture." Cloud said wryly, leaning over to ruffle Roxas's matching blond spikes.

"Done deal."

XXX

Packing for the trip was annoying to say the least. Demyx was hyper, freaking out about going to the exotic Destiny Islands, which was a tourist destination. He kept asking Roxas questions about the weather, what he should pack, would he need more sunscreen? The oceanography geek sifted through hundreds of books to discover the exact types of coral reef populated in those remote spits of land.

Zexion was more nonchalant about the whole thing, but he did sit down to talk with Roxas before agreeing to go. It was obvious that Roxas wasn't looking forward to the trip, and the quiet scientist asked if there was anything he could do. If he wanted to back out, Zexion would stay back with him. Roxas appreciated it, but he didn't want to keep Zexion from an amazing _free_ vacation.

Xion had also been freaking out about the trip. She was very excited to go, but terrified of the concert Cloud had told them about. Singing in front of drunken people at a live show was one thing, but singing at a party was a whole different matter. She obsessed over what clothes she would bring, what outfits she would dress the band up in. Roxas knew that Leon was looking forward to this trip, and Aerith shot him a text that said how excited she was. Tifa was ecstatic because she had never left the mainland before, let alone seen the ocean.

Roxas was relieved that his whole family would be going with. He didn't know Tifa very well, but that didn't matter. It wouldn't be all the members of Organization XIII, but most. There was no way Roxas would have gone back without them, that was unthinkable.

That night that Cloud told Roxas about the trip, Roxas asked his boyfriend about his involvement. After work Axel picked him up as per custom. Axel got done at High Noon at nine, and he would skateboard out of his way up to State Street so they could return home together. Axel could instantly tell by the aggravated look on his face and the way his shoulders were tensed that he knew about the vacation.

"I tried to talk him out of it," Axel told him as they skateboarded past the capitol square. He looked guilty, but this helped Roxas confirm that Axel _had_ wanted to tell him. That made him feel a little bit better. It never ceased to amaze him how deeply Axel cared about him, or how much the redhead thought about him throughout the day.

Roxas finally gave him a small smile, though he still looked uncomfortable, "I figured you would."

"But, I kind of understand why Cloud wants to do this," Axel said, shifting his legs so he wouldn't lose balance as they glided over some rough concrete.

"What do you mean?"

"About you needing some closure. Showing those people back home that you don't need them to be happy, and your not some unsuccessful college brat. You're a musician now, in a _great_ band, with the sexiest vocalist alive as your boyfriend." Axel boasted.

"So you think this will help me out?" Roxas asked quietly, ignoring the first part of his statement. Roxas trusted his boyfriend's opinion, if Axel thought this was a good idea he would go with it.

"It's either going to help you out or suck ass." Axel intoned gruffly. "But if it sucks, we will all be there to pick up the pieces and cheer you back up."

Roxas leaned forward on his board, making it so the two were riding down the sidewalk inches apart. He grabbed Axel's hand, twining their fingers and giving it a fleeting squeeze.

"We're going to need to call Terra." Roxas finally told him.

Axel looked down at him, startled by the spunky smirk on his boyfriends face.

"My hair lines are growing back in, and I need another piercing on my eyebrow. Just to freak them the hell out."

Axel felt his head drop back as he laughed. _This _was the kid he loved so much. Not the quiet frantic sheep he'd met a year ago, scarred by the treatment of the people closest to him. This playful Roxas, this rebellious Roxas… this was the person Axel wanted to show to his family. As if to spit in their face and say, '_you may have not appreciated this kid, but I will fucking_ cherish_ him._'

"It's gonna be hard for me too," Axel informed him.

Roxas gave him a curiously amused look, "Oh?"

"Well, I'm going to need a lot of restraint not to punch your brother for that email when I finally see him. Or jump someone who looks at you funny." Axel said seriously, he was cracking his knuckles.

Roxas chuckled; they got off their skateboards in the front yard. He turned around, his countenance again relaxed. Axel leaned down to peck a kiss on his lips, Roxas's curling into a smile.

He imagined Axel glaring down at his brother, green eyes venomous as he leaned over Sora with his hands on slender hips. Sora's eyes would be round as a saucer; Riku would be tempted to get between them to protect Sora. But he wouldn't, because Axel could be down right intimidating when he wanted to. This was a gift he'd learned from Cid.

"I'd pay to see that."

XXX

Roxas had a fresh eyebrow piercing and his tightest clothes packed two days later. Roxas had been careful to select outfits that people back home would have never seen him wear. He brought all of his jewelry, even buying himself a new lip ring that felt heavy. They left for the airport in Chicago early. They'd taken both Demyx's car, and Tifa's mini-van.

The car ride down was lively. They screamed at each other through open windows on the freeway, making paper signs and sticking it to the glass.

They played stupid pranks, Demyx heating up several packets of ketchup at a rest stop and chucking it in the back of Tifa's car so it would smell putrid. Leon found them while they were exiting into Chicago, and proceeded to hurl them at their windows so the dried tomato pasted to Dem's car.

It was a fifteen-hour flight, and Roxas couldn't imagine how expensive it must have been for Cloud to fly nine friends first class. Axel didn't like airplanes, so he popped a sleeping pill and passed out in Roxas's lap while the blond watched movies. Roxas idled his time playing with chunks of red hair.

Roxas had requested a window seat, and halfway through one of his movies he leaned over and saw the great expanse of ocean below them. It made his stomach sink in anticipation. He began to think about home, and tried to make himself stop before he psyched himself out with nerves.

Demyx had his head buried in Zexion's lap; the stewardess must have been confused by so much male affection in a single coach class. Only Cloud and Leon refused to lean on each other to sleep, though underneath the blankets they were covered in they had fingers secretly twined.

Tifa, Aerith and Xion stayed up most of the flight, talking and playing card games. Leon had to tell them to shut up at least seventeen times. Roxas, Axel, Demyx, and Zexion were thankfully far enough away that they couldn't hear the girl's lewd conversations. But Leon could, and it was enough to make the grown man blush. Since when were females so vulgar? And since when did they talk about the mechanics of gay sex better than a gay man?

Roxas was asleep as they flew toward the landing strip; he jolted awake when the plane finally touched down.

Roxas felt a wave of familiarity wash over him as they slowly walked off the plane into the small Ka'loui Ainu Airport. The entire group looked groggy and tired, Tifa was complaining loudly about the heat. Xion looked like she was about to pass out as she walked she was swaying so heavily. As they went through customs Leon propped Xion on his back to let her rest, she wrapped her arms around him and was sleeping soundly moments later. Axel started teasing Leon about being the papa of the family. Cloud was smirking at Leon too, trying to appear cocky, but Roxas could see the lingering shadows in his eyes.

Cloud was just as uneasy about this trip as he was. Cloud had left almost four years ago, and he hadn't visited home since. This was probably harder for him than Roxas, and Roxas realized that he would have to be strong for the both of them. He wouldn't let these people fuck with him. So as they waited for their rental car in the front of the airport Roxas put his hand to the small of Cloud's back, giving him a strained smirk.

Cloud slung his arm over Roxas' shoulders, sighing deeply. Leon was watching them out of the corner of his eye.

Axel had huge bags under his eyes too, and looked queasy from the flight. Aerith looked pretty haggard too, so Zexion suggested they get some sleep as soon as they got to Cloud's. The rental car finally arrived; it was a large van but still barely fit the luggage. The instruments were clunky, especially Leon's tom toms. Xion had to ride on Demyx's lap, Roxas propped over Axel and Leon in the backseat. Aerith was perched on Tifa's lap; Cloud hoped they wouldn't get pulled over. Only he and Zexion had fought for the front seats and thankfully had enough room to breath.

Cloud drove them through the skinny jig-jagged roads away from the airport. The island was dense with tropical palm trees, and in the direction he drove, buildings became scattered and hidden behind lush foliage. Roxas was staring out the window in a daze; it felt surreal to be here again. How many thousands of times had he been on this exact road? The Islands never changed; it was like the whole place was perpetually stuck in time. Axel's head was sleepily resting against his shoulder when they got to the edge of Cloud's family property.

Cloud was explaining to Demyx how this Island was one of over 100, and was named Ainu though better known as Destiny. He turned a sharp corner and stopped the car.

The entrance was flanked with large brick pillars, a metal gate that was twice the height of the car stood closed. Cloud hopped out of the car and punched in a code on a small panel, the doors mechanically swinging open. Demyx was leaning forward, spooning Xion against him to look over her head. He was trying to get a view of the house.

"Holy shit Cloud! You said you were rich, but goddamn!" Demyx cried in disbelief when they drove in, immediately spotting the immense real estate. "You live in a fuckn' _mansion_?"

Yes, the place would probably be considered a mansion. It had six floors, and the structure stood unyielding. The yard here was neatly tended, and foreign trees were quietly growing in carefully chosen spots. Everything looked precise and clean.

Cloud smirked, looking back at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. Leon rolled his eyes as the car halted, Cloud jingling the keys and ejecting the latch for the trunk. Tifa's face was twisted into awed shock; she gaped at the massive front doors. Both Aerith and Zexion looked too tired to care about Cloud's homestead.

"Let's just get our stuff inside, we can unpack later. It's like eleven here, but I think we all need a couple hours of sleep." Cloud told them as they entered a marble foyer. His house was luxurious, but gave a cold impression. There were no personal affects to be seen, mostly just expensive looking porcelain vases and massive mirrors engraved with gold rococo designs.

Xion was finally awake again, and they sluggishly hauled the luggage in. Cloud pointed them in different directions, giving them verbal maps on how to find the guest rooms. Roxas had never been in Cloud's house before, but he found his room first. Axel closed the door behind them, locking it. Axel groaned, flopping to the queen sized bed.

Roxas opened the joined patio doors, stepping out to the balcony. The air smelled nostalgic, like salt and humid heat. He leaned casually over the white railing, staring at the ocean just beyond the trees. He could hear the waves lapping, and several hundred feet away there was a group of surfers pulled by Ski-dos into large swells.

He felt a pair of arms wrap around him, all the skin felt sticky in the heat. Axel was kissing the top of his head. Roxas leaned back into his chest.

"You should get some sleep," Roxas murmured, knowing that the man didn't do well with long trips.

"You too," Axel responded, staring blandly at the scenery.

Roxas looked up at Axel, it was only now that he realized something. Axel's eyes were the exact same shade as the tropical trees of his youth. He smiled, cupping Axel's face in his hand. Axel spooned his arms a little tighter, letting his fingers run down Roxas's back.

Roxas glanced around. He pointed his finger to the left, "My house is two properties down, around that cliff."

Axel sounded disinterested, "Oh?"

"And over there is where I went to High School. You can see the smoke stack from here." Roxas mused, his voice a little forlorn.

"Roxas…? You will tell me if you need me, right? You've barely spoken since we got off the plane." Axel sounded terse. Roxas knew he was just worried. Axel tended to get a little carried away, one quality of his that Roxas didn't always appreciate.

Roxas shrugged, "I'm fine. Here on Ainu, it's my nature to be quiet."

Axel nodded, accepting this statement at face value. He knew that Roxas had plenty of things to sort through. He turned their bodies around and pulled at Roxas's arm, leading him back into the bedroom and pulling at the curtains.

Roxas pulled his converse shoes off, then his pants and shirt. He wasn't sure when, but he'd gotten into the habit of just sleeping in his boxers. Maybe it was because that was how Axel always slept. But it felt like second nature to pull off his clothes and cuddle into Axel's long limbs. He loved the feeling of smooth skin caressing and the gentle way Axel held him.

Axel blindly stripped, looking too exhausted to function. He gave himself enough time to spoon Roxas a little closer, twine their fingers, before haplessly passing out.

Roxas traced his lips along the sharp angle of Axel's jaw, feeling his lip ring glide smoothly across the expanse of skin. His nose was buried in the man's neck when his eyes finally fluttered shut.

XXX

When Roxas woke up, Axel was still fast asleep, his head smooshed between two pillows. It was already seven p.m. on the Islands, but Roxas's internal clock was still set to Midwest time, where it would have been four a.m. Roxas decided to let the redhead sleep, and wondered back downstairs after searching for a bathroom for nearly ten minutes.

To say that Cloud's house was massive was an understatement. Roxas finally wandered into the kitchen, and found Tifa, Leon and Cloud bent over notebooks talking quietly.

Tifa smiled up at him with a cheerful wave, "G'evening, sleepy head!"

Roxas gave a weak smile, "Hey."

Leon scooted a chair out, Roxas plopping into it a moment later. "What are you guys doing?"

"Going over stuff for the party tomorrow night." Leon said, perching his pen behind his ear as his eyes scanned the notebook.

Roxas was surprised, "You're having it tomorrow night?"

Cloud pursed his lips in thought, "Well, I don't want to stay on Ainu for the whole vacation. That would be a total kill-joy. So we are going to throw the party and leave for Saryu so we can have our real vacation. Wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am style."

Roxas rolled his eyes, "And how do you intend to inform the entire island about this party?"

Leon slid a piece of neon-orange paper across the table. Roxas scanned its contents before blinking in amazement.

"You're going to hand our fliers to everyone? Most of the people who would come would be underage. What about cops?" His voice was tinted with disbelief.

"Well, we already handed out the fliers while everyone was passed out. Probably got rid of about three hundred of them after school got out, more at Kaoru's Diner." Cloud explained before smirking, "And cops are too terrified of my father to even _think_ about trying to enter our property. My dad pays their salary."

Roxas was a little amazed Cloud's efficiency.

Aerith wandered in a moment later, she also had a notebook in hand. She still looked a little tired, but her cheeks were rosy again.

"So, our alcohol list is all ready, who wants to go on the run?" She asked, voice light and breezy.

Roxas shuttered, "Not me."

Cloud gave a wry grin, "We figured. I'll have to go with, cause you have no idea where it is. Leon, why don't you stay here and keep my house safe?"

Leon snorted, "Safe from what?"

"When that redheaded dipshit gets up and discovers the fireworks we bought, make sure he doesn't burn the house down. Roxas- keep a tether on your dipshit." Cloud instructed sharply, picking up the car keys and his wallet. As he was putting his wallet in his back pocket, Tifa snuck up behind him.

Tifa deftly snatched the keys from his hand, "I'm driving!" She exclaimed, running out the room before Cloud could open his mouth to argue. Aerith waved and turned to follow her.

Roxas watched Cloud lean over the table, and for the second time witnessed PDA from the couple. Cloud pecked Leon on the lips, his fingers brushing through the long hair affectionately. Roxas wasn't sure why, but whenever he saw the two show affection, it always made him feel so much better. Like he had nothing to be ashamed of. The way that Leon looked so unguarded when he kissed Cloud made him sigh dreamily.

Cloud's eyes were gentle when they finally rested on Roxas. "Just sit tight, okay?"

Roxas nodded, trying to make it look like he hadn't been staring.

After Cloud left, Leon sat back down and started flipping pages in his notebook. Roxas was wordlessly staring at his hands, twiddling his thumbs, and trying not to blush. His mind was reeling, wondering what Cloud and Leon would look like… doing other things. Who would be more aggressive? How would that look?

Leon finally sighed, putting the notebook down and noticing Roxas's spacey expression. Leon wasn't sure if he should bring this up, but Roxas deserved to know. Roxas was still gazing into space when he finally spoke.

"We met your brother today, and Cloud personally handed him an invitation." Leon told him softly.

Roxas's reverie was rudely broken. He processed the words before deflating, looking a little betrayed, "Oh?"

Leon nodded, wondering how he should word this, "….Cloud wasn't very nice to those three, the kids looked confused by his behavior."

Roxas blinked, he knew just what three the man was referring to, "What did Cloud say to them?"

Leon hummed for a moment, leaning forward, "Well, we went to the gas station for cigarettes and they were loitering outside. Your brother looks just like you and it freaked me out for a moment until Cloud told me who he was. Are you twins?"

Roxas shook his head in negation. Leon frowned, "Well, he was with a ginger girl and this cocksure kid. Cloud went up to them and the silver haired kid looked like he'd just peed himself from seeing Cloud back here. Sora was all bouncy smiles with him and said about how he had missed Cloud a lot. Cloud glared down at your brother with this menacing smile and preceded to chew him a new asshole." 

Roxas was anxiously taking every word in on bated breath.

"He told your brother off for being such a prick to you, and sending you those shitty emails. He told them that you are like family to him, and that he supports everything you do. Cloud said that nobody will ever forget your birthday again, and it was obviously no accident that he forgot in the first place since the day is close to yours or something. He started ranting about how closed-minded the Islands were for a good minute, then-" Leon finally smiled softly at Roxas.

"He calmly handed your bro an invitation, and told them you were in town to play a show. Your brother looked like he had just crapped his pants, so I mentioned how you were getting really good at doing vocals during the last few lives."

Roxas looked confused, "I'm not that great at singing."

"Well, anyway, Cloud said that you were going to sing at the show."

Realization dawned on him, and Roxas finally glared, "You're kidding, right?"

Leon chuckled at the obvious pout, "Nope."

Roxas blanched, looking dismayed at the mere thought. "I was freaking out about _playing guitar_ in front of them, there is no fucking way I'm going to sing! Leon, I sang those couple times_ drunk_ and _high_ – and, NO fucking WAY am I going to sing in front of them."

Leon rolled his eyes, pulling something out of his pocket. Roxas's mouth gaped; he reached forward and grabbed the bag from Leon. It was a giant bag of weed, and from the looks of it, good weed. How the fuck did Cloud do that? Not even be back for like eight hours and already have drug connections? Roxas knew for a fact that Cloud smoked almost as much as Axel, which had been one of the reasons he gave up professional surfing.

"Cloud made sure to buy this after he talked with your brother. He knew you would have to be blazed out of your mind to sing in front of them." Leon sounded like they had thought of everything.

Roxas stared at the weed, shocked, before he turned his glare back on Leon.

"You started this! If you hadn't said that-" He accused, placing the bag of illegal merchandise back on the table.

Leon stood up abruptly, leaning across the table and pressing his palm to Roxas's mouth. Leon looked slightly aggressive when he spoke, his words firm.

"Roxas, we are all doing our best to help you. Cloud is working his ass off so we can make this thing perfect, and he is just as skittish as you to be back home. Don't step on his hard work, okay?"

Roxas nodded, feeling helpless. When Leon said it like that…

"Listen, I'm sure Cloud has told you this, but one of the reasons he left was because he told someone he was probably gay." Leon pressed.

"Wait, what?" No, he had never known that.

"Apparently a rumor started around this island." Leon reminded him.

The memory came back to him, "Oh! Yeah, I remembered that rumor. I had forgotten about that. Nobody believed it anyway."

"Yeah, well, Cloud didn't know that. He was terrified that he would ruin his reputation and his father would find out, so after some big surf thing he up and left to New Zealand."

"Big surf thing?" Roxas echoed wryly. The big surf thing Leon was referring to made Cloud a living legend. He surfed a thirteen-foot swell, bottoming on the lowest point possible before swinging up and hug-surfing the top of the wave. It had been the talk of Ainu even after a few years later.

Cloud's boyfriend shrugged. Leon liked surfing enough, but he had never paid much attention to competition surfing. He was the sort of person who did surfing for himself, and didn't need some to critique and downgrade something he loved.

"What I'm saying is, tonight is going to be a stressful night for all of us. You just have to focus on the people from Madison, and play the show, and ignore everyone else."

Roxas sighed, grabbing the bag of weed before resigning himself, "Did he get a pipe?"

Leon gave an understanding smile, leaning his hand over to tap Roxas's spikes. He pulled a small white pipe out. The glass was slender but sturdy. Roxas noticed there were checker prints on it. Roxas rolled his eyes, Cloud was really too thoughtful. This trip must be costing him a small fortune.

The stoic man rarely smoked weed, but that evening he indulged. They went out to the giant garden that was light sporadically. There were waterfalls and fountains and neatly tended plants lining a walkway. There was a large table seated under the open sky, the glass reflected odd shapes from the light. The sound of cicadas was overwhelming in the night, they got high and sat in companionable silence.

Leon really enjoyed Roxas's company. Now it wasn't just because he looked so much like Cloud. Roxas was a very different person from his boyfriend. Leon had watched Cloud get downright protective of the kid, and seeing that spark in Cloud's eyes had made him want to do the same.

The way Roxas's brother had acted when they had met had disgusted him. Sora had told Cloud several things that Leon would never repeat. Leon knew that Sora would be watching Roxas play, that he wouldn't be friendly.

Leon wanted to protect that kid from everything.

XXX

The next day there was no time for sightseeing.

Aerith, Tifa, and Xion woke up early to start getting food prepared. They made sandwiches, plates of fruits, bean dips, cold pasta salads, and plenty of hot dishes. Aerith loved cooking in her spare time, and managed to swiftly notice when Xion was making a mistake. Tifa was also very good with her hands, and in one afternoon they got enough food ready for three hundred inebriated young people.

Cloud and Leon spent almost three hours hooking up brand new amps to the instruments. Leon was setting up all the speakers in the house so they would be heard in every room. The acoustics were great with the high ceilings, and the giant windows meant the room wouldn't overheat too much.

Cloud barely left the house after handing out those invitations; he had quickly got sick of the incredulous stares he received from people he used to know.

Roxas worked with Axel getting the bar ready in the basement. Aerith would be bartending half the night with several of Cloud's old buddies in the downstairs; Tifa would be outside on the patio doing the same. Xion finally pulled Roxas upstairs, and made him help put all their clothes out. Xion had brought a special outfit for their performance, and when Roxas clapped eyes on it he grinned with wild abandon. They would look incredible.

Demyx and Zexion worked making four large beer-pong tables out of plywood. Roxas spray painted their band logo on them, adding their names around the corner of one. Demyx helped Zexion hook up a giant 60'' flat screen to the wall behind where their band would play. Demyx set little flutes of closed shots on random tables, and helped put large recycling bins in the front for empty beer cans. Dem finally set up the tippy cup table; they had found a white-board to record the scores.

They ate lunch together, Cloud ran out with Demyx to pick up the last minute supplies. Roxas nervously watched as the time ticked away, and the sky got darker. He couldn't believe this was happening. Everyone from the Islands would be here if Cloud was the one to invite them. It made him dizzy to think about.

It was about eight when they all met back in the kitchen to eat something. Cloud's friends had shown up, there was about nine of them in total. Aerith was cheerily feeding them warm food and coffee, Tifa had gone to take a shower.

The friends that had volunteered to help Cloud were older than Roxas, so they didn't know him. They would help hand out cups at doors, and make sure people didn't get into fights. Cloud purchased five kegs, which in Axel's track record was clearly _not enough_, but Cloud figured the Islanders would be lightweights. They would easily earn the money back for the alcohol, since many people would come and go and probably only drink one glass. They decided to sell beer for five dollars a cup, and they would have a green wristbands to tell which people could have hard liquor. Hard liquor was eight dollars per person, which still was incredibly cheap for the wide selection they now had.

Though Roxas was freaking out at this point, Cloud was oddly calm.

Cloud knew for a fact that Axel wouldn't leave his boyfriends side. The redhead was over-protective on the best of days, and he would be the feral wolf snarling at anyone who tried to touch the blond. Aerith had told him that Roxas sent off every mothering instinct she had, and both Xion and Tifa agreed to keep an eye on the kid. Demyx was a bit flaky from being in the tropical paradise (his version of utopia) but Zexion was sure with all of them there nothing could happen.

Leon, Axel and Cloud stayed behind as Xion ushered Dem and Rox to get their hair and makeup done. The trio created a quasi-set list. They decided because they had four vocalists there (Dem was also an amazing singer), they would make this into a competition. Aerith would be the announcer.

Basically, whoever got the biggest round of applause won, and the other four had to down a half of bottle of a mystery liquor for losing.

Xion would go first, followed by Dem, Axel, and finally Roxas. After that, they would play one last song as an entire band, and Axel would be on vocals.

XXX

Xion was humming to herself as she put the dramatic makeup on Roxas. She outlined his eyes in a husky black and gave him a dash of lavender. It made his eyes look large and forceful. Roxas styled his hair into a Mohawk; you could easily see the lines shaved into his hair. He had all of his piercings in, nine in total, and the heaviest chain he owned was connecting his earring and his lip ring.

He put on Axel's heavy wolf earring that had a delicate chain attaching to his cuff, and wore several hemp necklaces snug to his neck. They all had glass beads or foreign coins. He was wearing a tight fitting black tank top with the Organization XIII emblem he had drawn up for the band. Xion spent nearly twenty minutes painstakingly drawing stylized tattoos up his arms with thick costume marker. Nobody would ever guess they were fakes. She drew one on the back of his neck, and a set of three stars going up his jugular. Roxas even lifted his shirt and had her inscribe Axels' name on his hipbone.

He wore the tightest jeans he owned with a two-row leather studded belt. His feet were adored with classic vans, his favorite checked print matching his wristband and rings. When Roxas looked in the mirror, it was like he had never seen himself before. He felt badass, and the spark to his eyes made him look aggressive. He smirked at the mirror.

Yes, this was the person he was. He wasn't the kid they remembered because too much of his fundamental personality had changed in the course of a single year. He thought about life in a radically different way now, and he enjoyed every single second of it. He was more sure of himself than he had ever been, okay with being loved and loving others. As Xion sprayed him with a thin sheen of glitter, he crossed his arms and gave Demyx a cocky look.

"I have my best friends in the whole world here, and they will never believe what kind of party we can throw." He told his roommate. Xion smiled, she hadn't put down the glitter.

Roxas grinned at her, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. "Thanks, darling," he told her, winking flirtatiously. Xion rolled her eyes with a faint blush.

Roxas strut over to Dem, hugging him after a moment. He plopped in between him and the reading Zexion, flinging his each arm around the scientist and musician. Xion grabbed her camera and snapped a photo.

Roxas looked like he was practically on fire. He couldn't keep the smile off his face, and Demyx thought he was positively glowing.

The blond finally stood casually, spinning around, "I'm going to go find my redheaded dipshit, as Cloud always calls him."

Zexion snorted, "Check the front yard. He's probably burning shit again."

Xion rolled her eyes, frowning, "I mean, seriously? I wake up yesterday after we passed out, to the sound of pounding explosives, and Axel's nearly burning down a row of shrubbery with fireworks. Where the fuck did he _find_ fireworks in this mansion? I thought the maid was going to throttle him."

Roxas winced, yeah, that had been pretty stupid. Leon and himself had been smoking in the back when frantic screams had alerted them to Axel's mishap.

"Yeah, but we can't help but love him." Roxas beamed, closing the door behind him.

Zexion rolled his eyes, Demyx smirking. Xion giggled at them, moving forward to work on their makeup.

XXX

Axel was getting ready upstairs; it was nearly nine. People would start arriving soon, but before they did Roxas got on the makeshift stage they had created and stared across the empty living room.

They had moved all the furniture so it was pressed to the walls, in the back was an impromptu bar and a beer pong table. He felt shivers roll down his spine as he thought about singing. He already knew what song he planned on performing. It was his favorite. Axel played the companion part of it perfectly.

He closed his eyes, grabbing the microphone and silently mouthing a few of the lyrics. He imagined the weight of his Fender on his shoulder, the heat from all the sweaty bodies, the sounds of people whispering and chugging beer. Axel would be standing next to him, close, protective, ready to show the entire room what kind of music they could create together.

Roxas felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, and smiled, cocking his head up to look back at that dazzling pair of green eyes. Axel grinned down at him cheekily. Xion gave him burning red eyeshadow; he wore the same chain and a matching lip ring. His clothes were impossibly tight, his shirt ripped to shreds and exposing his taunt abdomen. Axel had a six-pack that would put Riku to shame. Xion painted large teardrops under his eyes they also looked like genuine tattoos. Roxas sighed, leaning up to touch the markings on his cheeks.

"I really do like it when we match," Roxas told him, his eyes amused and mischievous. "And you know Axel, I've been thinking-"

Roxas leaned up on his tip toes and let his lips gently brush against Axel's ear, wetly kissing his cheek before pulling back. "Or rather, I've been researching some things recently."

Axel looked _very_ interested; "Oh?" he hummed innocently.

Roxas nodded, his eyes going half-lidded before whispering, "Oh yes, like for example, how we've never really…. _Gone all the way_,"

Axel bit his lip while burying his face into the Mohawk. He audibly groaned a moment later; the sound was deep and affectionate. Axel had been holding off on that particular step until later on. Even though Roxas wasn't skittish anymore, and he was adeptly learning the craft of pleasuring Axel, the redhead didn't want to push him too far. But just recently his resolve had been breaking. Roxas knew just how to drive Axel crazy.

Roxas even knew how much of a turn on Axel found people whispering in his ear.

"So I propose a challenge," Roxas finally smirked.

"The terms?"

"If, by some incredible off chance, you win the singing challenge tonight- we go all the way." Roxas proposed.

Axel gave a cocky smirk, "And if you win?"

Roxas grabbed the color of his shirt, pulling him down to eyelevel before stating blandly, "I top."

Axel grinned in disbelief, his eyes tinged with 'no way'. That sounded like a win-win situation to him. Axel loved the spark of possessiveness that surged through him at the idea of being taken by the quiet blond. He wondered what it would be like. Axel brought his hand out between them, it was covered in a large dragon-claw ring, and his nails were black. Roxas firmly shook his hand, and Axel was leaning his head in to kiss him when-

"There are people here!" Aerith's voice echoed form the kitchen. Tifa was shouting happily. Roxas pulled back, a little repelled at the thought.

Axel twined their fingers and led him back upstairs with a twelve pack in tow. They went back up to their room, turned the lights off, and watch people walk through the front door from the balcony.

"Xion will text me when they want to start the competition. You don't have to go down until we start, but you're going to be playing all the songs, okay?" Axel asked as they heard people giggling below. Roxas had already counted at least forty-five people.

Roxas nodded, bringing out the pipe and a smaller bag of weed that Cloud had bought him before propping it on his lap.

"Bloody hell, Roxas!" Axel said in surprise, "Where did you get that?"

Roxas blinked, before laughing. "Oh, yeah, _hah_, I forgot."

Axel gave a pout, "You found weed and you didn't even tell me? I thought you haven't left since we got here?" 

Roxas shook his head, "No, Cloud got it for me because he knew I would be nervous. I forgot to mention it because when I saw you last night you were burning down a substantial amount of Cloud's front yard."

Axel looked sheepish, "Yeah, oops. I was just so happy that I could light fireworks off- you know how compact everything is in Madison. Fireworks over the lakes are boring after a while, but when they explode in the grass~"

Axel looked dreamy, Roxas chuckling and packing the bowl. He took a deep hit, feeling the harsh smoke invade his throat.

He passed the piece to Axel, and blew out the smoke in the general direction of the people. From the angle they were sitting at they could see the people's faces, but the people couldn't see them.

Roxas leaned back and fished out a set of beers, opening it with one hand and handing one to his lover. Axel handed him back the pipe, and they sat, silent and companionable.

Roxas nearly forgot for a moment where they were, and why there were there. He also lulled himself into thinking that he didn't have to sing in front of all those people, a good chunk of which hated his guts. Because these were the moments he loved most, just him and Axel, holding hands. Roxas always felt as if their hearts beat in unison.

"What time are we going to play?" Roxas asked, trying to sound uncaring.

"Twenty minutes or so," Axel hummed, "Enough time for more people to get here."

Roxas rolled his eyes, "Great,"

Axel chuckled. There was a knock at the door, Axel turned around, Roxas freezing, "Who is it?"

"It's me!" Xion's voice called out.

"It's open," Roxas called back, instantly relaxing.

Axel was a little amused. He hadn't seen Roxas this jumpy in a really long time.

Xion came in, with Demyx, Zexion and Leon trailing behind them. They were all decked out in costumes, looking far more dramatic and punk than normal. Even Zexion was decked out in punk-rock gear, his hair was gelled up into spikes. Leon was rocking leather pants, and Xion wore a gothic-Lolita dress. It was cotton candy pink, and made her stand out from the rest of the group.

They spread out on the balcony, Roxas passing the pipe to Demyx.

Xion leaned over and wrapped her arms tightly around Roxas, giggling, "We are going to rock this shit tonight~!"

Axel was patting Xion's head as he looked up at Leon, "Where's surf-wonder?"

Leon smirked at the nickname, "Entertaining young ladies."

Demyx rolled his eyes, "Yeah, and looking so uncomfortable like he wants to die."

Roxas chuckled, taking a swig of his beer. "I'm sure Aerith will save him if anything too awkward happens."

Xion nodded, finally released Roxas. Xion abruptly stood up, "So we should start a tradition tonight!"

Axel look amused, Zexion was rolling his eyes, "What kind of tradition?" Demyx asked.

"Before each live show we should shot-gun a beer." She intoned seriously.

Roxas snorted, Leon hiding a smirk behind his hand, "Can you try to make it sound like were not alcoholics?" Zexion retorted.

Xion was shoving beers into their hands, and they took them accordingly. Xion could be pretty eccentric and this was probably one of her many whims.

She quickly punctured a hole into the bottom of the can, covering it with her thumb and passing her pocketknife to Demyx. They each did so, before they held their upside-down beer cans into the air.

"To our first live show outside of Madison!" Xion cheered.

"To showing these hicks what punk rock music really is," Demyx added loudly.

"To creating memories that we can laugh about later," Axel stated.

"To not burning down large chunks of people's yards," Leon said sarcastically.

Roxas laughed loudly, "To fucking with people's heads!"

"And to not having anyone get arrested tonight," Zexion finished.

They cheered loudly, before uncapping the holes punctured into their cans and chugging the liquid down quickly. It was hard to do, and Xion looked like she was trying not to cry despite the fact that his was her idea.

Roxas felt a lot braver as he threw the can over the balcony, wrapping his arm around his boyfriend's waist.

He knew his brother was downstairs, and all of the people from his graduating class in high school. They were about to see him not only play his Fender, but sing. A year ago that thought would have made him dizzy, but a year ago he wouldn't be so excited to show them who he was.

Roxas smirked to himself- he would show them his music. He had a bet to win.


	8. One good turn deserves another

Liberated

Part VII. _One good turn deserves another. _

By DXMJUNKIE

XXX

Roxas peeked downstairs around the corner of the stairs. The two-story high living room was packed with people; Roxas saw many faces he recognized from back in high school. Most of them were older people who had been friends with Cloud; this made him feel a little better. He only saw one or two people mingling from his graduating class. He peered around anxiously for his brother, but couldn't see him or Riku amongst the dense crowd.

Cloud was an entertaining guest, but as Demyx had said he looked terribly awkward. He was trying very hard to pay attention to what people were saying, but he kept glancing around as if looking for an escape.

Roxas snorted when he saw Seifer chatting with Cloud like old friends. Seifer was the resident xenophobic bully; he usually looked down upon anyone who would suggest leaving Ainu. He treated tourists like garbage and had a huge ego about Island Pride. But Cloud was a living legend; even the biggest assholes gave the surfer a break for leaving. Roxas gulped, they wouldn't be as forgiving about him.

Xion was leaning over his shoulder, whistling lowly at the crowd, "Well, you memorized the set list right?"

Roxas nodded, "We are going to covers, then play our original music for the last song after the competition?"

Axel was crouched on the other side of him; he straightened his legs out, moving to walk down to the stairs.

"Where's Alice?" He looked around, searching for Roxas's Fender on stage.

Roxas blushed while still anxiously watching the crowd, "It's still up here. I didn't get a chance to bring it down."

Axel nodded, brushing his fingers through Roxas's hair. Axel still looked pretty high. "I'll go take care of that for you, get your amp all hooked up."

Roxas quickly pecked Axel's upper arm while they walked back to their room. Roxas's Fender was in the case resting against the desk. He handed his boyfriend the instrument, Demyx and Leon were still chatting out on the balcony. Zexion had gone back downstairs to help Aerith and Tifa out with getting the food and bars all set. Xion had gone to the bathroom to finish her makeup and warm up her voice.

Axel leaned down and languidly kissed his boyfriend, knowing that they would have to tone down the PDA for the rest of the evening. Roxas had unequivocally told Axel that he did not want to _out_ himself at this party, and he still needed the tuition money from his dad. Axel had been a little uneasy, but accepted Roxas's decision and knew that he couldn't act as affectionate as he normally did. They would have time for that later in the vacation, after they left this island.

Axel disappeared with his guitar case in tow, walking back down the stairs into the crowd. People were glancing at him curiously as he strode on stage, wrapping Roxas's checkered print guitar strap around him and idly hooking it up to an amp. He switched the volume down, and began strumming chords to check if the instrument was in tune. Cloud walked over to him, eager for a distraction.

"We are going to start playing in ten minutes. I want to wait for Rox's brother to get here," He whispered lowly to Axel. Axel nodded, watching people around them staring at the exchange. They were whispering to each other, and some were pointing in Axel's direction. It made him feel on edge, he didn't like the mean way they were looking at him so he glared straight back.

"These people are pretty nosey, aren't they?" Axel asked, but his eyes immediately rested on the front door a moment later. A brunette kid with the same exact shade of blue eyes as Roxas had walked in holding his red cup awkwardly. He was the same height as his brother, and the resemblance was chilling. He looked like his boyfriends twin.

Axel looked at Cloud for confirmation, the man nodded brusquely before turning to help plug in Demyx's sitar. They tried to appear busy, but Axel couldn't help but watch the kid out of the corner of his eye.

He looked nervous, and was talking in the corner with two people. Axel strummed on the guitar before quickly pulling the amp-chord out, swinging the instrument around his back before stepping off the stage and bee-lining it to Sora.

Sora looked up at him cautiously, the silver-haired kid was glaring capriciously and this redheaded girl was blinking at him.

"Hey," Axel grinned, waving as he stopped right in front of the group. Axel towered over them easily, the tattoos on his face rising with his smile. Sora was watching the glint of his lip piercing.

"Hi," Sora said, he had to crane his head all the back to look into Axel's eyes.

Axel took a quick breath, "How are you kids doing tonight? Ready for the show?"

"Show?" The girl echoed, her voice tinged with disbelief.

"Yeah, duh! I'm Axel McKenna from Chicago, and the lead vocalist of Organization XIII. That's our band name." He held his hand out to the girl, shaking it before moving to Sora. Sora also shook his hand, but his eyes were distrustful. The silver-haired kid made no move to greet him. Axel returned his attention to Sora.

"You look so much like him its scary." Axel finally stated, all three sets of eyes snapping to him as he stared down at Sora.

"So it _is _true? Roxas is back?" Sora asked softly, his fingers twining around the cup.

Axel felt his eyebrows scrunch, "How did you know about that?"

"When Cloud gave us our invite, he told me." Sora said with blue eyes glued to his feet.

This fact clicked in Axel's mind after a moment, he grinned casually down at them with his hand on the Fender, "Oh, well, of course he's here. Cloud would never go back home and not drag Roxy with him."

The redheaded girl looked taken aback, "Roxy? He lets you call him that?"

Axel finally let out an audible snort, "Roxas has earned more nicknames than you can shake a stick at."

"Why would Cloud need to take Roxas with him?" The silver-hair kid finally asked, his tone biting and arrogant. His arms were crossed; he was trying to look tough. This made Axel smile; it was like a bird puffing up the feathers on his chest to appear larger.

"Well, duh. Cloud's fucking loaded. And poor Rox couldn't even afford a plane ticket here last Christmas." Axel explained to Sora.

Sora bit his lip and tried to sound flippant, "So Roxas wanted to come home for Christmas?"

"Well, _yeah_, until you sent him that nasty email." Axel told him calmly, his eyes controlled so he didn't show any anger.

Sora looked guilty and a little bitter, "He told you about that?"

Axel rolled his eyes and didn't respond.

Xion was walking toward them; she was decked out in full makeup and her usual concert gothic-lolita outfit. She appeared taller than she actually was, and she stood behind Axel staring at Sora. She looked like an aggressive pixie, and she immediately crossed her arms in defiance.

"So this is Roxas's brother?" Her tone was innocent but her eyes flashed with agitation. She scanned him over once, looking extremely critical. Axel hummed his affirmation, slightly amused by the frightened expression in Sora's eyes.

Sora withered under the scrutiny before the silver-haired kid pulled him back protectively. The redheaded girl also glared, but it looked abnormal on her lovely face. This infinitely amused Xion who looked straight at the redheaded girl, challenging her to speak.

"Well, judging from the way these people act, no wonder the poor guy didn't want to come home." Xion told Axel matter-of-factly.

The redheaded girl was frowning when she realized the contradiction, "First this guy says Roxas wanted to come home, then he doesn't. So which is it?"

Xion glanced over at her, delicate eyebrow rising with distain, "Well, yeah, he wanted to come home until his father and brother sent him these nasty letters stating that nobody missed him or cared about him. Then they ignored his birthday and didn't even bother to call-"

Axel put his hand over Xion's mouth, giving her a quirkily tilted smile. "Now, Xion, let's not be exposing Roxas's business to these strangers. If you want to talk about it, talk about it with Sora, not these tag-along's."

The silver-hair kid finally glared, obviously ruffled, "Excuse me, but it's our business too."

Xion looked wry and stepped forward with a glint of malice in her gaze, "Oh? Why? Because you think you know him?"

The silver-haired kid took a step back, but he kept his protective stance of Sora.

"I'm his brother, of course I know him," Sora retorted darkly, moving back so he was facing Xion.

Axel scoffed and loudly stated, "Just because your related doesn't mean you know jack shit about him."

Xion nodded vigorously, but this action was cut off when Leon appeared behind them. He was wearing a tight black shirt with his leather pants. Xion had also painted a few tattoos on his arm and they made him look more masculine. She tied a red ribbon around his wrist. Axel knew Cloud wore a matching one. Xion figured nobody would notice.

"What are you doing? All warmed up? We are going to play now," Leon told them, glancing at Sora but finding him disinteresting.

Sora gulped to himself, feeling very nervous. These were Roxas's new friends? These gothic looking punk kids with tattoos and piercings? He couldn't imagine his stoic brother hanging around with losers like this. What would the have to talk about?

And why the hell were all of these people so blatantly trying to intimidate him? Sora was glad Riku was being so protective of him.

Axel pulled the guitar strap up around his shoulder and handed it over to Leon, "Here's Roxy's Fender; can you go plug it in and finish the sound check? I'm going to grab him from upstairs." 

Xion put a finger to her lip-gloss covered lip, "I think he was in the back smoking a cigarette with Dem."

Axel smiled and started ignoring Sora as he turned around, "Ah, the pre-cigg tradition. What is it now, five things we do before and after?"

Xion smiled genuinely, the action making her look younger and more attractive, "Yep, let's see…. Shot-gunning a beer, taking a group photos, having the pre-and-post cigarette, and post Hollywood Undead Tippy Cup Competition."

Leon snorted as they walked away, "God, not the tippy cups again?"

Xion laughed, jumping up on the stage. Axel disappeared into the kitchen; Roxas was nowhere to be seen. Cloud was adjusting the lights around the stage while people were congregating toward it.

Roxas was hidden on the stairs around the corner, taking one last large puff of weed. He was starting to look nervous. He glanced up apprehensively when Axel put his hand on his shoulder.

Axel smirked down at him, "You know what to do."

Roxas nodded, they walked back towards the living room. Roxas felt his stomach drop when he walked on stage the room went dead quiet. People were staring at him in shock, obviously taking in his changed appearance. He could only imagine their surprise, what with how he left. Now he was dressed to match his band, all proud and cocky and righteous. He felt his chain jingle against his cheek as he reached down to pick up his guitar.

Aerith bounced on stage, taking the microphone as they stood behind her. Roxas frowned firmly, keeping his eyes aggressive as he fished the pick out between the strings. He quickly adjusted his guitar strap, watching Xion play with a stray string on her corset. He refused to look around the crowd, terrified of seeing Sora before he started playing. He kept his eyes firmly on the back of Aerith's head, trying to look confident despite how he felt.

He was glad he was high, he would have been way more nervous if he wasn't.

"Hello Destiny Islands! How are you guys doin'?" Aerith exclaimed cheerfully, holding her petite arm up and waving enthusiastically. The audience cried out, holding their filled cups aloft.

"I'm proud to present Organization XIII, a band born in Madison, Wisconsin! Tonight we are going to be holding a competition between the band's vocalists." Aerith explained, twining the chord around her finger. There were murmurs from the crowd, but they stopped when she started speaking again.

"Each of our vocalists is going to perform a cover song. When they finish, we need your input. The singer with the loudest applause wins! And what do they win? Well-"

Aerith looked back at the band with a devious smirk, Roxas rose his eyebrow curiously, Leon crossed his arms, "The winner gets to pick someone to do a Ollie off the upper balcony into the pool!"

Xion chocked, looking at Aerith in disbelief. Roxas rolled his eyes he could see Leon glaring next to him. Axel was smirking, obviously finding this challenge in his favor. Demyx finally ran on stage, quickly taking his position next to Roxas. Zexion reached from off stage and handed him his sitar. Demyx shook his head, Roxas glancing up at him. He gave a mellow smile in return.

"So, first up is Xion! She's a fashion apparel student who loves skateboarding and Halloween. Everyone give her a round of applause." Aerith mimicked the clapping, sporadic applause followed. Obviously many of the people in this room had never been to a concert before and didn't understand proper etiquette.

Xion huffed in a breath of air as Aerith disappeared off stage. Cloud set up the back music quickly, plugging in the monitor so that they could replay the show on stage later. Zexion had created a slideshow about a month before they left. The slideshow would shift images in time to the songs. Axel was sure the pictures would shock most; they were all taken from Facebook. They were pictures of drinking, pictures of State Street, and pictures of drunken times. They made sure none of the images had PDA in them, just normal friendship being apparent.

Xion smiled at the crowd, waving after a moment, "Yo!" she yelled into the microphone, "I'm epic at skateboarding but you should still help me win because how many people want to see that emo-brunette get drenched in the pool?" She motioned to Leon, who was sitting behind the drums. Xion was snickering.

Roxas nearly burst out laughing at the statement, knowing that Leon would get Xion back for those words.

The music started, Axel quickly strumming out chords. Leon was beating against his drums and Roxas was following shortly after. Roxas felt his chin tuck against his clavicle as he concentrated on created a bubble around him. He just had to focus on the music, even if it wasn't their original songs.

Xion opened her mouth, and began rapping swiftly in her best British accent,

_"Mummy, they call me names-_

_They wouldn't let me play-_

_I'd run home, sit and cry almost every day-_

_Hey Xion, you look like an alien-_

_With green skin, you don't fit in this playpen-"_

Her voice was beautiful, cracking, and desperate. It fit the lyrics perfectly, her arms swinging around in frustration as she walked toward the crowd, leaning forward with her lips against the microphone.

"_Well they pull my hair, they took away my chair-_

_I kept it in and pretend that I didn't care-_

_Hey Xion, you're so funny-_

_You've got teeth just like Bugs Bunny-"_

__Xion glared down at the audience, as if telling them to challenge her.

"_Oh, so you think you know me now-_

_Have you forgotten how-_

_You would make me feel-_

_When you drag my spirit down-"_

Xion eyes were glued on Sora in the back of the room; she tilted her hips and strode across the stage aggressively. The crowd seemed to love her; they were all bobbing their heads with the beats of Leon's tom toms.

"_But thank you for the pain-_

_It made me raise my game-_

_And I'm still rising, I'm still rising-_

_Ye~e~eah-_

_So make your jokes, go for broke-_

_Blow your smoke, you're not alone-_

_But who's laughing now-_

_But who's laughing now-"_

Roxas couldn't help but smile at Xion's tone. It was as if she sang this story specifically for him, to try and make the audience understand his pain. Xion strode over to him; resting her arm on his shoulder well he played several solo chords. He felt a drip of sweat roll down his forehead from the overhead lights; he knew it was time to look up.

In the front row his old friends Hayner, Pence, and Olette were standing with gaping faces. Hayner's eyes looked like they were about to eject from his skull. Seifer was standing off to the side; he was glaring daggers at Roxas.

Several people in the audience weren't taking their eyes off of him, so as Xion wandered around the stage belting out lyrics he went to stand next to Axel. They started playing notes off each other with the timing perfect, something born from many free nights together jamming in their room back home. Roxas met Axel's eyes as they were playing, Axel thought Roxas looked punk as hell with the quirk of his lips.

Sora was staring at his brother, lost for words. He immediatly noticed that Roxas and the redhead had matching guitars and _face-chains_, which floored him. His brother was… pierced. And tattooed. And wearing the tightest clothing Sora had ever seen. When had this happened? Roxas had only been gone for a year. Sora knew that Riku and Kairi were equally shocked, and both itching to comment about Roxas's appearance. Sora squinted, watching his brother confidently finger the strings of his guitar.

Though Roxas was only playing an instrument (when the hell did he learn to do that? Sora wondered) he was still on stage in front of an audience. Sora knew that Roxas used to suffer from extreme social anxiety- but he didn't seem to have a problem now.

Back in elementary school he'd always had a hissy fit when teachers tried to get him to talk in front of the class. But now Roxas was sneering down at the crowd, his eyes blazing and this confident smirk on his face. Sora had never seen that expression on his brother's face in his whole life. These people in Madison had ruined him. They had taken the quite kid and made him this… arrogant looking pansy. It made Sora ill. What other things had they forced him into?

"'_Cause I'm in L.A., you think I've made my fame-_

_Facebook makes us friends when you only really know my name-_

_Oh, Xion, we knew you could make it-_

_I've got a track and I'd love you to take it-_

Xion rolled her eyes dramatically at the lyrics, she bent over while her skirt fluttered against the ground, the frills making her look rough but elegant. Her voice was so strong and she didn't even need a microphone to be heard in the back of the room. The way her black hair was flying around her face, the uncaring manner she held herself. It drew the audience in. Xion let her knees hit the stage as she raised her arms up.

_"So now because I'm signed, you think my pocket's lined-_

_Four years now and I'm still waiting in the line-_

_Oh Xion, I saw you on YouTube-_

_I tagged old photos from when we was at school-"_

Xion finally stood back up and continued singing, her voice echoing every word and hitting every high-note without pausing for air. The crowd was dancing, loving her music without really paying attention to the lyrics or message. Roxas smirked at how happy Xion looked, how alive. It made Roxas feel okay with this whole thing, like he was back in one of the soundproof music rooms on campus just playing with his friends.

Xion had sung this particular song many times when they were drunk; Roxas knew the lyrics by heart. He let his eyes drift shut and an absent smile lighten his features,  
><em><br>"Oh, so you think you know me now,_

_Have you forgotten how-_

_You would make me feel-_

_When you dragged my spirit down-_

_But thank you for the pain-_

_It made me raise my game-_

_And I'm still rising, I'm still rising-_

_Ye~e~eah-_

_So make your jokes go for broke-_

_Blow your smoke, you're not alone-_

_But who's laughing now-_

_But who's laughing now-"_

Xion repeated the chorus several times, looking pleased with herself as she finished, her voice trailing off after several lengthy notes. She was sweating when she finished, panting slightly as she wiped her forehead with her arm. The crowd started cheering, jumping up and down and making the room boom with noise.

Roxas barely noticed when Demyx began performing after a short introduction from Aerith, but Roxas was able to flawlessly replicate the music that his fingertips understood so well. Demyx's choice of song was more mellow, kinder, and more punk. He got a little more applause than Xion, but this was probably only because more people were showing up. The room became heady with sweat; the fans blowing did nothing to alleviate the humidity. Aerith came up and introduced Axel, stating 'he's a pyro with a problem.'

When Axel sang third, Roxas stood closer to the man, watching him with anticipation. Axel's singing was the best, Roxas thought. His voice was beautiful and strong and resilient. It moved Roxas, and during the entire performance Roxas knew he would be unable to take his eyes off his boyfriend. He didn't care if people found that suspicious, because he couldn't help it. Only Axel could continue playing his instrument and sing simultaneously. Not even Demyx had mastered that talent. And only Axel could be the true lead singer of Organization XIII. His vocals boasted such a versatile range.

Time seemed to speed up, and before Roxas knew it, it was his turn to perform. He felt his heart rate quicken as Axel finished singing, turning around and handing the microphone to Roxas. Axel's fingers brushed against his, the only comfort his boyfriend could offer him right now. It steadied Roxas, who knew that it was now or never.

Aerith hopped up on stage, "And last but not least, Roxas Kouda! Roxas is a hometown boy from the Destiny Islands," the room roared loudly with applause, the Island felt this was showing pride, "And he's our resident art major who is obsessed with skateboarding. Please give him a round of applause."

Roxas flung his guitar back around, letting it rest against his shoulder blades.

He took a quick breath, listening to Demyx's sitar play out the first notes from behind him. Axel's Mad Hatter followed, and Roxas felt his mouth open, his own voice coming out halted but strong.

Roxas picked this particular song because he knew it was his best. It was more of a rap-style that he normally attempted, but he had learned from lots of smoking when to halt his breath and finish the long-winded lyrics. Plus, he knew that the words would ring true to the people he wanted them too.

_"In a time of need only few can see what's wrong-_

_Millions tend to crawl but only those who choose can make it through this all-_

_Only few can sing like lions 'cause we sing until we're gone-_

_And we've got each others back until we're back where we belong-_

_A woman held my shield and through the battle we did wrong-"_

Roxas glanced over at Xion who was smiling up at him off stage, making the audience look over at her as well as he gently tapped her cheek. He held the gaze before turning to Axel, stepping next to the man and meeting his eyes. Axel's green eyes were confident, it put Roxas at ease. It helped him convey the truth behind what he was belting with more intensity.

_"A man who taught me wisdom through the static we recall-_

_And maybe when we're gone our names will echo through the stars-_

_Every start's got it's ending even when we've learned to rise above it all."_

Axel's fingers were a blur as he punched out the intricate chords, his guitar loud but not overpowering Roxas's voice. Leon was pounding the drums, his arms fluid and unyielding Roxas finally looked straight down at his old friends from high school who were standing at the head of the stage. He walked over to them, and crouched, staring at Olette, Hayner, and Pence while trying to appear headstrong and devious.

"_These lies are leading me astray-_

_It's too much for me to stay-_

_I don't wanna live this destiny-_

_It goes on endlessly-_

_I see you so please stay strong-_

_I'll sing you one last song and then I'm gone-_

_I don't wanna live this destiny-_

_It goes on endlessly-"_

Hayner was still glaring at him when he pulled back, but Roxas didn't give a flying fuck. He knew what the lyrics meant, and what they would mean for the crowd. Each line was delivered like Roxas had written them, each terse and angry but tender and forgiving. He sang louder than he ever had, even when they were back home in Madison.

Yes, he thought. This place wasn't his home anymore. 

He walked over to Cloud, who was standing next to the stage with his elbows perched ahead of him. Roxas placed his small hand on top of the surfer's head, ruffling blond spikes affectionatly. Roxas noticed Seifer's jaw drop at the friendly action; Roxas started singing directly to Cloud who was grinning. Cloud was mouthing the words with him and sang silently.

_"And we once also had a story too-_

_You can see that good men only come in few-_

_Even in our greatest moments we may win or we may lose-_

_Every song's got its rules, you've got to learn to make it through-_

_Maybe one day we can choose how it feels to be a woman or a man-_

_Without rules, but buried underneath there's a picture glued-_

_So when my body burns in ashes only sing the truth-_

_Let these words strengthen all your views-"_

Roxas pointed his finger at the audience as he added, _"Because these words were meant for you."_

Roxas stood back up, gulping for breath as Demyx played the chorus. Roxas idly repeated the chorus, his eyes grew venomous as he thought upon its meaning. Roxas quickly decided to do something unplanned. He wasn't sure why he was suddenly so angry, but the innocent '_what did I do'_ look Sora was giving him across the room really pissed him off.

So as he sang the chorus he jumped off stage, the crowd parting as he quickly unplugged his Fender and strode directly to his brother and his friends. Sora's eyes were wide as Roxas stood directly in front of him, he could hear his band playing on stage from behind him. He held the microphone to his mouth, facing away from the audience.

Roxas leered at his brother and opened his mouth as he practically screamed, all the pent up frustration and rejection that he'd endured finally exploding in his mind. His words were tight but forceful.

"_And now I'm floating right above my coffin as it closes I look down-_

_And I see that I'm crying on my momma's shoulder-_

_I look up into the sky as the gates to heaven open, something's wrong-_

_Is this destiny or am I going home?_

_What will happen to my soul, will I come back I don't know-_

_Will you meet me where when it over let me know-_

_You can meet me here in heaven don't you ever let me go-_

_This love this hate is burning me away."_

Roxas noticed his brother's reaction at the mention of their mother. That had been a taboo to speak of back home. Sora appeared shamed, his matching blue eyes going dull. Riku looked like he wanted to punch Roxas and even Kairi was livid. This only made Roxas smirk as he glared, he flicked them off with his middle finger before swiftly rounding and jogged back to the stage, jumping up and finally finishing the song.

"_These lies are leading me astray-_

_It's too much for me to stay-_

_I don't wanna live this destiny-_

_It goes on endlessly-_

_I'll sing you so please stay strong-_

_Sing you one last song and then I'm gone_

_I don't wanna live this destiny_

_It goes on endlessly."_

The applause that came forth after he finished was overwhelming. The only people who didn't clap were his old friends and brother; the rest of the crowd went insane. For them, the idea of having someone from home that now played in a band was crazy. Not only did they have a surfer legend, they had a rocker legend too.

Maybe it was because he was a fellow Islander, but Roxas won the competition hands down. Aerith got back on stage and was also clapping. Cloud was smirking up at him, as if saying 'I told you so.'

"So, Roxas, it's obvious you won from the crowds applause." She said into a matching microphone. Roxas chuckled, feeling a little sheepish as he titled his guitar back and scratched his fingers through his hair.

"Alright," he spoke into the microphone, "I choose Leon, our drummer, to do the Ollie. Because it's that bastard who made me sing, and he didn't have to."

The crowd laughed (not really understanding) as Leon dropped his face into his hands. He would have to change out of his leather pants if he was really going to do this. He did not look pleased.

Axel grabbed the microphone from Roxas, "Well, we are going to party a little bit before we play again. The songs we just played weren't written by us, so after we get a little tipsy we'll play some of our original stuff. Kegs are behind either bars, you have to show your wristband to the bartender to fill up your cups. There's beer pong and tippy cups, rules are posted on the walls. Play safe, kids!"

Axel dropped the microphone to the floor and grabbed Roxas's arm, pulling him off stage. Roxas was laughing at something Xion said; they locked the kitchen door behind them so Axel could light his joint. Axel looked proud of Roxas, it made him flush with pleasure. Axel threw his arms around the blond, hugging him tightly before placing the joint to his lips. Roxas took a carefree inhalation, feeling giddy at his own nerve.

Even Zexion was smiling, his face red and vibrant after the live show. He had a camera in hand; he was replaying some of the footage for his boyfriend. Demyx had his arms around Zexion's shoulders; he was spooned against his side, pressing wet kissed to his cheek.

Leon came over to Roxas, clapping him on the shoulder. He wasn't angry about losing the challenge, more resigned to the fact that he would have to change his clothes. Roxas gave him a grateful smile, he was glad he had his friends with him. Cloud was bouncing around, congratulating them.

"Did you see the looks on their faces when you walked out?" Axel snickered behind his hand. Roxas nodded, still feeling sheepish about how he had cornered his brother during his performance. That has been a little immature.

"Yeah, Sora looked really pissed when I sang to him." Roxas mumbled.

"Pissed?" Xion laughed, "He looked livid!"

Roxas felt a little bad, but also more confident. His brother may have not been expecting that, but Roxas felt he'd gotten what he deserved. Now his brother understood that Roxas probably didn't consider him his family anymore. He wondered what kind of thoughts were going through his head.

Demyx and Axel went out for a cigarette, Roxas grabbing a beer from the fridge and twisting off the cap. He went over to Cloud, who was talking with Leon.

"Did you see Namine D'Lara in the crowd?" He asked.

Cloud nodded, "Yeah, she was in the back of the room. She's wearing a white hoodie. You want me to go grab her?"

Roxas thought about this for a long moment, "No, I need to grow some balls and just go out there and face them. I can't hold that off forever."

Leon smirked, "Yeah, and what with your amazing entrance I'm pretty sure there are a few people dying to chat with you."

Roxas nodded again, taking heady sips of his beer. He flipped the lock on the door and went out into the living room, hearing people cheer at him as he dived through the crowd. People he'd never spoken to before were trying to corner him in conversation, but he just pushed past them with an apologetic grin.

He found Namine talking with Hayner in the corner. Hayner looked pissed, and when he walked over Roxas forced a smile on his face. Hayner turned his glare on him and opened his mouth to say something but Roxas cut him off.

"Namine, long time no see." he spoke. Namine's eyes met his, and they were warm and smiling. She leaned up to hug him, kissing the cheek without the chain. She was still as petite as he remembered, but still held that genuine aura of innocence.

"Wow, Roxas! That was so amazing, I didn't know you could sing." She said. Roxas nodded, smiling shyly as he let his arm spoon around her waist.

"I bet you think your top shit." Hayner snarled at him, "Coming back home in secret and letting Cloud's reputation keep you safe."

Roxas felt his eyes narrow and he coolly responded, "Oh? Here I thought that was you. Feeling top shit as you gaped at our performance, knowing you are oh-so-much better than us."

Olette pushed forward from behind Hayner softly stating, "Roxas, that was mean."

Roxas laughed shortly as he released Namine, his hand on his hip. "Mean? Please."

Roxas felt a hand clasp his shoulder, and he looked over to see Axel standing behind him. Axel's expression was tight, but his eyes were tinted with humor. Those cheek tattoos did make him look pretty badass.

"Top shit because Roxas has Cloud's reputation to protect him?" He echoed Hayner's previous words, his tone mocking. "Are all Islanders such douche bags?"

Roxas laughed openly as Hayner's mouth snapped shut, "No, not all. Ax- this is Namine De'Lara. I dated her for a while back in high school. Namine, this is my _best friend,_ Axel McKenna. Oh, and this is Hayner Miller, and Olette Chapman. I went to high school with them." He stressed the words best friend, knowing it would be a jab at Hayner.

His statement certainly got Axel's attention. He remembered Roxas talking about Namine, about how they had only dated for several months. When Axel was younger something like that would have made him a little jealous, but now he was placid as he reached out to shake Namine's hand. Roxas took another deep swig of his beer, almost downing the entire drink.

Axel turned back to Hayner, "So this is one of the assholes you were talking about?" 

"One of them," Roxas confirmed, Hayner reached his hand up to do something but was cut short.

Sora was holding Hayner's arm, looking at his brother with an unreadable expression. Riku and Kairi were nowhere to be seen. Sora's eyes flashed up to Axel, before resting back on Roxas.

"Roxas, can I talk to you alone?" He asked with clipped words.

Roxas nodded, feeling Axel tense behind him. He quickly brought his guitar strap over his head and handed his Fender to his boyfriend. Axel gave him a searching expression, Roxas smiling in response. Axel walked away with the instrument in hand toward the beer pong table where Cloud and Leon were setting up to play against Demyx and Xion.

"Okay, let's go get another beer." Roxas told him cheerfully, steering Sora towards the outside patio. People were in groups of three, chatting amiably around the bar. Tifa was swiftly grabbing drinks, when she saw Roxas she brightened.

"Roxas! You ruled! I totally loved your song the best!" Tifa said exuberantly, she leaned over the bar, giving him a quick high-five.

Roxas gave her a large smile as he snatched Sora's empty cup from his grasp, "Tifa, can you grab me and my bro some beer?"

Tifa looked curiously at Sora, before turning and filling an extra cup up and handing it to them. She was about to say something more, but another group of people walked up so she merely waved and started working again.

Roxas went over to a empty glass table at the end of the patio, easily plopping into the chair and pulling out his pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Roxas didn't smoke often, only when he was nervous, and he was quite unsettled by the stare Sora was giving him as he also sat down. Roxas was still sweating from the performance, he was happy to be outside in the breeze but he still felt awkward to be alone with Sora. They hadn't been alone together in more than a year.

Roxas lit the cigarette, watching Sora's expression darken. Sora detested smoking.

"So what, your some hardass punk now?" Sora asked with his tone warping into forced cheerfulness.

Roxas had expected bitterness so he nodded cheekily after taking a drag, "Hardass punk? I guess that's accurate."

Sora bit his lip, not moving to drink his beer, "What happened to you Roxas? You look like some street thug."

Roxas rolled his eyes at the accusing tone, "I left Sora. Grew the fuck up. Met new people, had new experiences. People from here don't understand what that's like, but it changes a person."

Sora finally glared, "By turning them into assholes?"

Roxas scoffed, "Oh, yeah. Totally. What are you so pissed about, _brother_?" he asked mockingly, "That I came back home? That Cloud was with me? That he told you off? Or that I mentioned Mom when I was singing?"

Sora bristled, his shoulders hunched as he responded, "All of that! You don't fucking call for how many months, then you show up out of the blue?"

"I called Sora. For almost four months I called and sent you messages. You never answered. I tried, you were the one who gave up first." Roxas said, bitterness finally entering his voice as he took a swig of beer.

"Well, you left first!" Sora accused.

This had a spark of resentment blow through Roxas; he quickly stood up and slammed his hands on the glass table. His matching checkered rings made a loud noise, people looked over at them startled. Sora looked shocked by this display, he'd never seen Roxas like this before.

His quiet and thoughtful brother had warped into a hateful person. Sora hoped he wasn't partly to blame for this crippling transformation. Sora tried to convince himself that it was these new friends who had forced Roxas to act this way.

"I left because I hated it here! I left because I was dying by an inch just to prove I could, and you didn't give a _flying fuck." _

Roxas's eyes were pure venom, "Don't think this was all on me, Sora." He snarled, "You didn't even fucking bother to give a shit about me. You just listened to dad and did whatever the fuck he told you to do."

Sora looked startled as he blanched, "Of course I cared about you, Roxas!"

"Oh? When?" Roxas continued his tirade, "When you forgot my birthday three years in a row, even after holding huge parties two days before? When you laughed with everyone else because little stoic Roxas stopped talking for a half of year? When you sent mocking emails just to taunt me?"

Tifa was walking towards them with a worried expression. She had left the bar and was asking Roxas silently if he needed help. Roxas held his hand up to her, calming down as he sat back in his chair. She nodded, and eased back towards the bar, trusting his judgment.

Roxas grabbed his beer and quickly poured it down before slamming it back on the table. He stamped his half-finished cigarette under his heavy boot.

"What do you actually want, Sora?" He demanded while his lips curled in distaste. "To make yourself feel better?"

Sora was silent; he finally reached over and took a delicate sip of his beer, his nose crinkling. He looked nervous and on edge.

"Maybe." He finally said honestly, a little sadly.

"Well, don't bother." Roxas bit. "This will be the last time I'm coming back to this hick town."

"How did things turn out this way?" Sora asked softly, his fingers curling around his beer. How did Roxas come to hate him so much? It was as if Roxas couldn't even look at him he was so disgusted. Sora knew he had done several mean things, but he didn't think he deserved the blatantly menacing way Roxas looked at him. Like he was the scum of the earth. It honestly frightened Sora.

"It started when you blamed me for mom dying." Roxas told him, confirming this unhappy fact when Sora looked decidedly ashamed.

Roxas stood up and was about to storm off to find his weed and his boyfriend, but Sora's voice halted him.

"Wait! Roxas- I just," Sora deflated as Roxas glanced behind him. "I just wanted to say how sorry I am."

Roxas huffed, "Well, good for you and those empty words."

"They aren't empty words! Roxas, back when you weren't talking, I thought that was the way you wanted it. If I accepted it, I thought, you would be happy because I wasn't pushing you. I know that Hayner and stuff got totally pissed about it, but the way you acted it seemed you didn't want to associate with anyone. You were the one who always acted like people were boring, or disinteresting."

"Or maybe it was just easier for you to ignore me," Roxas deftly pointed out.

Sora shook his head, "No, that's not it. And, Mom… she died the day before your birthday. And every year after that you hated your birthday, and refused to celebrate. So is it really my fault that we gave up trying after you would get so angry about it?"

Roxas sighed, and sat back down deflating, "What kind of person doesn't want affection on the day they were born? Of course my birthdays were hard, but I got over it. And after I got over it you left me high and dry."

Sora looked close to tears, "I wasn't trying to do that, Roxas. I know you were hurting, but I didn't know that you hated it here that badly."

Roxas looked directly at his brother with a strained expression. "Sora, how could you have _not_ known? How can you say you thought it was for the best? Are you sure you were ignoring my birthday for my sake, or was it because you were bitter mom wasn't around to celebrate _yours_?"

Roxas felt hot tears prick his eyes as he thought on the painful memories. Having nobody to talk to, having nobody who cared where he was or what he was doing. He lived like that for years. That emptiness was frightening, it made him feel like a nobody.

"Our senior year, I went for almost 100 days without a single person acknowledging my existence. Nobody spoke to me, nobody looked at me. I was like a ghost, or even worse- the murderer who had killed our mother with my selfishness."

Roxas quickly wiped the tear that cascaded down his cheek away, taking a heavy breath and trying to steady himself. Sora was looking at him, and Roxas loathed the pity in his eyes.

He met his brothers gaze again, "I will never be like that again." Roxas said firmly, "I will never be alone again. I have a new family now, one that will protect me and care for me _just because_. If I'm silent they will force me to talk, if I'm withdrawn they will drag me outside to make me feel better. They will play music with me and laugh with me and live with me, through the shit times and all."

Roxas gave a hardened glare; "They will never be too busy for me, wrapped up in their world. And they will never look down on me for the choices I've made, or say that I can never be genuinely happy for another person."

Roxas opened his mouth to continue, but there were heated shouts from inside the kitchen. Roxas felt his heart drop when he heard Axel's loud voice echo across the yard.

Roxas got up instantly, abandoning his beer and quickly diving back into the house. He momentarily forgot about his fight with Sora when he saw what was going on inside.

Seifer's shirt was bunched where Axel was firmly grabbing it; the redhead was staring at him with disgust. Ever inch of Axel's body was tensed, overpowering the man with his strong hold. Axel's eyes were acid, deep and dark and unforgiving.

Zexion had his arms wrapped tightly around Demyx; Dem's left cheek was bright red and starting to bruise. He looked startled, shaky. Roxas went over to his roommate, and frantically searched Zexion's face for an explanation before blurting out, "What happened?"

Demxy was sobbing when he shakily responded, "I kissed… Zexy on the cheek, a-and that kid came up to me, and punched me, and called me… a faggot."

Roxas went rigid at the jolt of anger that ran through him, _how dare he_, turning on Seifer and snarling, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

This only fueled Axel on, he slammed Seifer against the wall. His head banged loudly, the noise echoing across the kitchen. Seifer was strong, but with Axel this angry he was no match. Seifer quickly pushed Axel back, aiming to punch the redhead when Roxas quickly intercepted, feeling stars go across his vision as the violent fist collided with his eyebrow.

Roxas fell to the floor; Leon and Cloud were trying to restrain Axel from attacking Seifer. Axel was screaming at him, Roxas had never seen him this upset. Axel looked like he wanted to murder Seifer.

Cloud was soon dragging Seifer from the room, through the living room and out the front door. He slammed the door shut after a few choice words; the people around them weren't sure what had just happened.

After Seifer was dragged from the room, Axel had his arms around Roxas and was checking his forehead for damage. Axel looked close to tears. Roxas's head was throbbing, but he was glad it hadn't been Axel who had been hit. He stated that he was fine and he was okay. It was a mantra; he was trying to calm his redhead down.

Axel was apologizing for letting Roxas get hurt when Sora wandered back in to see what all the commotion was about. His eyes went wide when he saw Roxas curled on the floor, the redheads arms curled around him. With Axel's help, Roxas regained his footing. He had bit his lip, so he spit blood on the floor to rid his mouth of the acrid taste.

His head hurt like a bitch, but Roxas could see straight again. Cloud walked back in the room, quickly coming over to Roxas to examine the damage.

"I have some cold packs upstairs, I'll go grab two of them. I'm so sorry Dem, Rox. I kicked him out."

Demyx shook his head, he still had tears in his eyes but he seemed to be calming down. Zexion was glued next to his side, his expression unreadable. Roxas thought he looked miserable.

Axel was fussing, Roxas finally rolled his eyes, "Ax, I'm fine. Seriously, I'm glad it wasn't you."

Axel cussed, bending down to kiss Roxas on the forehead before remembering himself. He halted, instead hugging Roxas. Axel knew Sora was standing behind him.

"Goddamn it, Rox. Be more fucking careful, okay?"

Roxas chuckled, pulling away from Axel. He looked at Sora, rolling his eyes, "Seifer was being a dick. He punched Dem and tried to punch Ax, but instead hit me."

Sora frowned, "Do you need some painkillers for your head? Kairi has some in her purse."

Roxas shook his head, forgetting his previous anger. It felt almost nostalgic having Sora say something like that.

"Fuck that, I just need some weed." Roxas looked back up at Axel, giving him a hopeful grin. Axel chuckled, pulling out his tin from his back pocket.

"Dem, Zex, let's go upstairs. Sora, you should come too." Axel said, pointing over to the stairs.

Sora looked up at him blankly, before glancing over at his brother.

Why was Roxas's expression so…_ warm_, when he looked up at Axel?

Sora felt curious, and blindly followed this weird band up the stairs.


	9. Love does not follow logic

Liberated

Part VIII. _Love does not follow logic._

By DMX Junkie

XXX

Sora followed the intimidating redhead up a steep set of stairs that wound around the back of the mansion. Behind him the kid with the Mohawk who had been punched was following, cradling an ice pack to his face. A stoic longhaired guy with his eyes concealed under a fringe of hair brought up the rear, staring up at Mr. Mohawk (as Sora inwardly called him) apprehensively, as if to make sure he was okay.

They went through a long hall flanked with huge bay doors on either side, and into a spacious bedroom that was sparsely decorated.

Sora immediately recognized his brother's laptop on the floor from the stickers; the desk was littered with clothes and travel shampoos. Roxas flopped over on the unmade bed; he gingerly cupped his bruising cheek and groaned aloud in dismay. Axel fished out painkillers from the front pocket of his backpack, handing them to Roxas with a cold beer to chase the pills. Roxas took both and popped the cap off the bottle, downing the pills while on his back.

"God, my face hurts like I've been punched," Roxas stated dryly, his eyes clenched shut in pain. Roxas was inwardly glad Seifer hadn't punched the other side of his face; his eyebrow piercing on the other side was still fresh.

Axel snorted audibly at Roxas's statement, rolling his eyes and yet looking visibly uneasy.

Sora crossed his legs on the bed and glanced at his brother, suddenly feeling shy amongst this unfamiliar company. The Mohawk kid was getting comfortable on the floor, the aggressive pixie-girl massaged his shoulders while the longhaired kid looked distraught leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

The room held a tense silence for a half a minute as each was wrapped up in their own minds.

"I can't believe that kid punched you both!" Xion finally wailed, looking almost tearful as she hugged Mr. Mohawk. He was smiling shyly at her, Sora noticed him glance discreetly at the emo-looking kid.

Axel began glaring as he brought out the large bag of weed hidden within his Fender case. Sora stared at it with apprehension as his eyes grew widened; he had never seen an actual bag of drugs before. He wondered how the strange group had bought illegal merchandise since they got to the Island; they couldn't have possibly smuggled it in.

Axel grabbed the white pipe next, gracefully sitting on the bed next to Sora at Roxas's feet. Roxas nursed his beer slowly while his forehead swiftly darkened into a bruise. Sora watched Axel pat Roxas's leg, his green eyes narrowed with aggravation and worry. Sora had seen that expression before, millions of times on Riku- it was odd to see it mirrored on this strangers face.

"That was Seifer Almasy, he's a real piece of work," Sora told the group softly. "Not all Islanders are like that, though."

Mr. Mohawk looked up at him with a lopsided smile as he extended his hand, "Hey there, I'm Demyx. I'm Roxas's roommate."

Sora shook his hand for a moment but his eyes were glued to Dem's face, "Are you okay?"

Demyx smiled a little wider, wincing at the action, "Hah, yeah. I've gotten much worse before, believe me."

Zexion flinched behind him, looking unhappy.

Sora's eyebrows raised skeptically, "In Madison?"

Demyx laughed again, "No way, kid. Madison is the safest place for an out-of-closet homo like me. It's when you go to small towns that you gotta worry about the scary haters, which are mostly creepy Christians. But not in a liberal haven like Mad-town, people practically piss rainbows year round." 

Sora blinked, processing the important facts from the random information. So this kid was gay? Roxas swiftly sat up, putting his hand on his brother's shoulder with a withering look. Axel quickly saw this unspoken exchange out of the corner of his eye, but remained silent.

Sora bit his lip, and was about to respond when Axel shoved the white pipe past his face and towards Roxas. Roxas took the pipe, and Sora was, not for the first time of the night, absolutely stunned when his brother held it and smoked like an old-time pro. The smoke he exhaled wafted past them, it smelled strong and exotic.

"You smoke, kid?" Axel asked in a cocky tone as he smirked down at Sora. Sora looked like a deer-in-headlights, the answer obvious. Roxas was hit with the nostalgic sense of déjà-vu.

"Sora's never smoked a day in his life," Roxas answered for him, passing the pipe down to Demyx. Xion stopped massaging his shoulders and sat back, sighing loudly.

Sora bristled at the comment, "You don't know that."

Roxas gave him a disbelieving look that made the brunette blush. Sora glared down at his legs, pouting to himself about his naivity. He knew some stuff about drugs after all, and he wasn't really afraid to try them per say.

_But_- people always talked about how horrible they were, and how they ruined not only relationships but also lives… he'd been in the DARE program after all.

_Yet_- he didn't want to look like an idiot in front of Roxas's friends. He didn't want to be an ignorant hick when his brother looked… so much cooler than him.

_But-_ Riku would_ murder _him if he smoked. Or worse, tell Kairi who would never let him live it down and nag him until he wished to be deaf.

_Yet_- Sora let his gaze flicker to Xion, this tiny girl who easily partook in such activities, and who was also inhaling a deep drag.

Once couldn't kill a person, right?

And Roxas was doing it too, so this must be relatively safe. After this lengthy inner monologue, Sora allowed these facts to spur his subsequent words.

"What do I do?" Sora asked loudly as the pipe reached Roxas again. Roxas looked startled, and seemed to think on it, before finally making up his mind after a long moment.

"You take the pipe and inhale the smoke," Roxas handed him the pipe, "Put your thumb over this hole, it's called the carb."

Roxas flicked the lighter, setting the green ablaze. Sora saw the smoke collect in the chamber, and rapidly breathed in. The smoke was raw in his throat and he coughed suddenly, tears coming to his eyes as he tried to collect himself. He was glad the group wasn't laughing at him. He felt like an idiot as he let out the smoke with a shaky exhalation.

Sora's mind went hazy as he passed the pipe back to Axel. His whole body was tingling. He leaned his head back, watching as Xion reached her thin arms behind and fished him out a beer from the case propped against the nightstand. She handed it to him with a smile; obviously she didn't find him a threat anymore and wasn't trying to intimidate him. She looked a lot sweeter now, her face more childish when smiling.

Sora took the bottle, and figured it would be rude to reject this gesture. Sora rarely drank alcohol, but he knew both Riku and Kairi were drinking too so he saw nothing wrong with untwisting the cap and taking a long swig. This alcohol tasted smoother than what he remembered beer like. He glanced at the bottle, examining the strange green logo.

"Spotted Cow?" He read aloud.

Roxas laughed, his lungs full of smoke as he explained, "The best in Wisconsin beer! Seriously, those Wisconsinites know how to brew some good shit. They don't sell it outside of the state, but Cloud snuck some back with us."

Sora took another sip and nodded his affirmation, "It's good."

Roxas was thrilled that Sora understood how awesome his favorite beer was, and his face suddenly split with an honest smile, "I'm glad you like it."

Sora felt himself physically relax at Roxas's cavalier attitude. His brother had been so aggressive not even a half hour ago, but his whole demeanor changed when he was around this band. Roxas began chatting with Axel, who was still fussing with his new bruise. Xion was watching them banter, looking very amused.

Sora bit his lip in his reverie, '_Or maybe_,' he thought as he watched his brother laugh, '_it's because of this Axel guy._'

Roxas was hard to read on a good day, but Sora could tell that his brother's eyes softened and often sought out the tall redhead. There was something untouchable about the affection his brother showed for this pierced and oddly flamboyant musician. It made him curious, but he was still too nervous to say anything.

Sora took another hit off the pipe with Roxas's help, his whole body felt sluggish. He indeed liked the sensations it gave him, but it also made him feel wickedly naughty. He'd never done something so illegal before; but he found that he didn't care right now. In this room, he was safe.

A few minutes later after the green had been spent, Demyx stood up and began ushering the group to follow him back to the party. Xion and Zexion disappeared out the door after him, chatting about playing a game Sora had never heard of.

Axel stood up too, hiding the pipe and weed in his bag. Sora had never been high before, but that was what he found himself to be now. He was giddy, comfortable, and relaxed as he watched Axel wander the room. He didn't really want to move and his mouth felt oddly dry despite the beer he was nursing.

Axel turned to pet Roxas on his head (the side without the bruise) before giving him one last long look and closing the door behind him.

Sora glanced at his brother once they were alone, wondering what words he should use to break the silence.

Roxas sat up rapidly, motioning with his arm, "Let's go to the porch."

Sora followed, and they sat down together on the rim of the patio, idly watching the people running rampant below. This was the second time Sora had ever been in Cloud's house, and he had never seen so many people running around. He squinted down at the yard, wondering what was up with the huge burn hole in the center of the yard.

The bountiful orange fliers had been the talk of the entire Island. Everyone had dropped work or previous plans to attend this impromptu party. Sora knew that Cloud's family had wicked connections, and the mere idea that the cops would bust this party was unfathomable.

Sora sniffed loudly as Roxas lit a cigarette, still unamused and unused to his brothers new habit.

"So, does Dad know you're here?" Sora finally asked, drinking his beer slowly while trying to adjust to the taste.

"Fuck no, and don't tell him either." Roxas warned, taking a deep drag and toying with the soggy label on his bottle.

"I won't, not that he probably won't find out anyway." Sora responded immediately, turning to look at Roxas fully. "I mean, seriously? This is Ainu, Rox. He'll find out tomorrow with his morning paper."

Roxas snorted to himself as he gazed off, silently puffing his cigarette.

"Look," Sora continued after a long beat of silence, "I know that we are both bitter about the past."

When Roxas turned his head to give him a scathing look Sora plowed on, "We_ both_ are bitter, Roxas. You seriously can't pretend that you are blameless in this whole thing." 

He had a valid point. Roxas bowed his head, silently waiting for Sora to continue. He was surprised by how steady and talkative he was now. It was probably because of the drugs, but Axel frequently told Roxas that weed made him chattier. Must be genetics.

"I know you have changed a lot, and I guess it's not really a bad thing. I mean," Sora openly grinned, "You_ do_ look kind of badass with that gnarly bruise and all those piercings. How many do you have now?"

Roxas barked out a laugh, "Nine now. I had them done mostly with Axel. We originally got them for Halloween, but the look kind'a stuck."

Sora hummed after twining his fingers together in front of him, "Well, I just want you to know… that I don't agree with everything Dad has done. And I don't plan to do whatever he tells me. I'm an adult now, and I'm working on getting degree, too. I know things can't be like they were before… because stuff changes. But I hope that we can at least stay in contact."

Roxas felt a little surprised at his brother's honest statements. He reached over and grabbed Sora's hand off the cold concrete of the balcony, squeezing it. It was like an enormous burden had been lifted off of Roxas's shoulders. He knew that things would be tense with Sora for a while, but he could never hate his brother. Sora was an incredibly kind person, Roxas understood that best of all.

"I would love that." Roxas replied honestly.

Both stared for a long beat before breaking out into peels of laughter. Sora let his head fall back and tears roll down his eyes, Roxas was clutching his stomach while his rings were squishing the fabric of his shirt. They had no idea what they were laughing at, but it felt right. It felt like doing so would cleanse all the bad air between them, like maybe it was the first step to starting over.

Sora calmed down first, "So that Mr. Mohawk guy is gay then?"

Roxas chuckled at the nickname, "Demyx? You couldn't tell from the moment you saw him?"

Sora shook his head and jokingly added, "No, but I thought Axel might be gay, though. He kinda looks at you funny, Rox. Like he has a huge crush on you."

Sora's mindlessly innocent statement felt like lead being poured down into his stomach. Roxas's smile grew tight, but Sora didn't seem to notice. The brunette took another long drink of beer, leaning forward and smiling absently down at the lawn.

Roxas glared down at his legs, lost in thought. What would happen if he told Sora about his sexuality? He knew that Sora wouldn't outright hate him for it, but… _now_ after they had just forgiven each other was probably not the best moment to plant such heavy news.

Roxas bit his lip, eyebrows scrunched as he felt his stomach tighten. He didn't want to lie to Sora, but there were many occasions were it was better to keep silent. Was this one of them?

Sora finally glanced over at him, frowning.

"Roxas?"

Roxas exhaled deeply, closing his eyes and downing his beer. The bottle was empty when he set it down roughly, wiping his mouth with his hand.

"Axel is also gay." Roxas stated firmly, feeling his heart thrum rapidly in his chest. He knew his cheeks were bright red, probably the tips of his ears too. But he couldn't hide how flustered he was and wound up abysmally embarrassed.

Sora blinked, absorbing Roxas's demeanor and the information that accompanied it. He sat silent for a long minute, Roxas looking away from him.

"So Axel likes you, then? How do you feel about that?" Sora asked softly, delicately.

He wasn't sure what was going on, but Sora had never seen Roxas act so skittish. And it didn't take a rocket scientist to see how his brother glowed around the redhead. Sora had only been in the presence of the both of them for a mere twenty minutes, but he had noticed instantly.

Roxas, his quiet bookworm brother who had been perpetually silent during most of their lives, was on proverbial fire when around Axel. It was like a switch in his entire disposition. And what was weirder was the fact that this switch seemed to make Roxas… so content and happy, even while bruised and nervous.

"…" Roxas felt as if the words on the tip of his tongue were a weight, holding him down. 

"Sora, I was never going to tell you this. Well, with how things were when I got here, at least. But I've always trusted you. And I don't want to skirt around this stuff, because things will just get complicated."

Sora sat silently. He knew, at least partially, what Roxas was going to tell him before he even opened his mouth. What his brother actually said rendered him speechless.

Roxas squeezed his eyes shuts and clenched his hands together; "I've been dating Axel for almost ten months. I met him when I first moved to Madison, and we were really good friends. He introduced me to a lot of things that were so fun, and enjoyable." Roxas felt his eyes flutter close, "And I have never met anyone quite like him."

Roxas twiddled with his joined fingers absently, "I'm not ashamed to be dating him, Sora. You don't really know him, but he is so… awesome. He's smart and funny and crazy and wild…. and I am…" He paused, throat tight, "I'm in love with him."

Roxas pulled his knees tight to his chest, waiting for Sora to respond. It felt like the longest silence he'd ever lived through, and that was saying something what with his personal track record.

"I could tell." Sora finally stated, his voice still nonchalant.

Roxas looked aghast, "What?" 

Sora rolled his eyes, the expression strange on his face. "Don't act so shocked."

Sora smiled again, his eyes bright and cheerful and the exact same as he had always remembered them, "Roxas, I don't give a crap about who you date. If you're happy, that's all that matters. And I won't tell anyone; it's none of the Islands business. Just- don't tell dad. He wouldn't pay for your tuition anymore."

Roxas bit out a laugh, too shocked to choke out any words. He wasn't sure why, but he felt tears come unbidden to his eyes. He huffed in a quick breath, his hand wavering over his mouth for a long moment. Disbelief brought his mind to a screeching halt.

He helplessly reached over and clutched Sora against him, his throat tight as he tried to control himself. Sora's arms laced back around him, and Roxas finally let out a heart-wrenching sob into his brothers shoulder. His whole body was trembling as he sobbed, unsure if he had ever done such a thing before.

His face hurt and he was a little drunk and his brother had just told him that he didn't care if he was dating another dude. Roxas didn't know what to think.

Sora held Roxas just like he had when they were children. They had always been there, together, to comfort and protect one another. And accept one another. Roxas had never felt happier in his entire life and the feeling was inimitable.

Roxas buried his face into the material of Sora's shirt, his brother smelled like he always had. Like sun and salt water and the hemp wax they used on surfboards. Roxas sighed, his voice tight with emotion as he whispered, "Thank you."

Sora closed his eyes and felt so at peace, "Love you, Rox. Always will."

XXX

Axel sighed, absently watching the random Island girls hit on Cloud. Cloud was several shots of tequila deep, and Axel could tell Leon wasn't pleased with how friendly Cloud got when he was drunk. He was acting differently than Axel had ever seen him, more flamboyant and preppy. It was irritating to watch.

Xion was on the patio bar helping Tifa pour drinks. Leon was leaning on the wall next to him watching Aerith grind on a surfer to the heady music; he seemed amused by how much she was obviously enjoying the rando's attention. The giant house was packed; it was sticky humid and strobe lights were flashing. At least one hundred people mingled downstairs, either dancing or chatting. Several Islanders had taken over the beer pong table and they were loudly claiming dominance. Some shouted obscenities at each other, others playfully joked around. The thick haze of smoke was thick; the air was pure musk and sweat.

Axel wanted to find Roxas. The party was so boring without his boyfriend around, and even with his closest friends Axel felt like he didn't know anybody in this house.

Axel also understood that Roxas needed to work this stuff out with Sora, so he let it be and pouted.

Axel huffed another sigh, heavily leaning against the wall while nursing his beer. Sora was very different from how Axel had imagined him to be. The picture Roxas painted wasn't inaccurate… but the kid turned out to be so blatantly innocent. It was incredibly difficult to resent him.

His eyes were the exact same shade as Roxas's and it frightened Axel a little. While Roxas's eyes had once been dark and foreboding, had Sora's gaze always been pure and blameless? Axel immediately felt that Sora was intelligent and perceptive, and this had Axel unnerved.

It made Axel's thoughts go in a million different directions. How could the kid act be way? Hadn't he been through hard shit, at all? How did he retain his childlike naivety while Roxas had been…. So….

Axel glared at the floor before aggressively pushing against the wall and diving to his left. Leon called out to him but he ignored it, and weaved through the crowd to the front door to go outside. After consciously ignoring the horny couples swap spit in the shadows, he fished out his pack of Cabin Roast Blend's. The one good thing about being in the Islands is that they had Japanese tobacco for Asian tourists.

He lit himself a cigarette and took a deep drag, trying to release his aggravation. He felt so helpless in this situation, like he couldn't do anything. It reminded him of Demyx, how he had been incapable of properly protecting him. He'd done his best to try and scare those fuckers in high school away, but one had even raped his best friend. Axel could only sit back and watch Demyx break before him.

Axel hadn't forgotten what Roxas was like when they first met, even if the others had. It wasn't shyness that had brought on the blondes perpetual silence.

Axel knew that Roxas could have been just like Sora if things had happened differently. But they hadn't, and Roxas was still hurting from the consequences.

Roxas possessed deep emotional scars, many of which were still in stitches. The redhead could never wrap his head around this entire concept.

He could only seem to think about how at least Demyx had had Axel back then. Even if it hadn't been much, Axel had at least been able to help him when he could. All of the fistfights he'd ever been suspended for had been for Demyx, and the musician always repaid Axel by skipping class during those days. They had watched movies together and laughed together and complained together. At least they had each other.

But _Roxas_- Axel felt miserable when he thought about it.

For an entire year, Roxas had been practically alone on this Island. For nearly 200 days, he hadn't spoken a word. Not a single thought muttered aloud, no trivial conversations to pass the time. And for about 100 of those days, not one person, not even Sora, had said anything about it.

His beautiful, talented and heartbreakingly kind lover had been…. A ghost._ Invisible. _Not even worth the time.

Axel had never before empathized with another person like he did for Roxas. Now that he was where it all started could he begin to understand what had happened to his lover. This Island, this mentality… it had physically crippled the artist.

Before that asshole Islander had punched Roxas, and after Sora pulled him out back to talk, Axel had lingered in the living room alone. He knew better than to meddle, and Roxas looked like he had so much to say to Sora. So he closed his eyes and chilled back, quietly thinking about things.

Right before Seifer had gone to punch Demyx, Axel had been listening to the gossip around him.

This gossip wasn't mean, per say. In fact, most of the Islanders were happy about the band and their performance. If they weren't chatting about Cloud, they spoke of Xion and her song. A few pointed curious fingers in his direction but he had pointedly ignored them.

Axel bit his lip impatiently as he stood on the front porch, his fingers tightening around his cigarette while he remembered the gossip.

Axel kept repeating like a mantra what he'd heard some guy say, "_Y'know that blonde who sang last? That's Roxas Kouda. Right? I just heard about how he cursed his mother to die when he was a kid, total voodoo shit. Haha, yeah, and I didn't even know Sora had a brother." _

Just thinking about it made Axel livid. He smashed the cigarette underneath his chucks, storming back inside. People glanced up in interest when he walked in, and seemed to motion towards him. He glared, jamming his hands in his jean pockets. He was feeling as though every person at this party were all personally responsible for causing Roxas pain. It made him resent them, even if he knew he was being silly.

He strode to the bar outside where his friends were working, leaning against the makeshift counter. Tifa began swiftly grabbing him a beer and smiling until she noticed his dark expression. She moved closer to him so he could hear her over the nearby drunks.

"Woah, Ax, you okay?" Tifa was suddenly worried and quickly crossed her arms over the bar to lean forward.

Tifa understood Axel's basic character. She had worked with the redhead for a substantial chunk of time at High Noon, and they often battled through long rush-shifts during jam-packed live shows together. Tifa knew that Axel was an incredibly chill guy and not-at-all the aggressive type. He was a hard worker, and uncommonly good-natured. He had his vices of course, and she was frequently pissed at him, but none of that mattered. Axel had proven himself time and time again to be reliable and sensitive. When Tifa was having problems back in home with her brother's illness, Axel had taken all of her shitty shifts so she could visit him, even if he lost money. She had almost been attracted to him, but this was coincidentally around the time she first heard whispers of this quiet freshman named Roxas.

Tifa knew for a fact that Axel only got truly angry and aggressive when his lover or best friend were threatened. She had heard in immense detail some of the shit kids had put Demyx through, and how Axel dealt with it. Aerith told Tifa that when Demyx got beat up, sometimes it was harder for Axel to deal with it than vice versa. He felt responsible every single time Dem was covered in bruises. Tifa knew this was a hard burden to bear, watching someone suffer.

Tifa knew that Axel's mood was about Roxas and Demyx getting punched by the rando. He didn't even have to say it for her to know.

Axel shook his head in resignation, looking miserable as he let out a long sigh. "Roxas is off talking with Sora, and you guys are working. Should I help out?"

Tifa frowned at him before turning to the bartender next to her, tapping him on his elbow as he poured a beer. He glanced over at her, before realizing it was the perky foreign girl who was speaking. He immediately gave her his full attention with an absent smile, letting the beer overflow from the tap and soak his shirtsleeve.

"Hey, Tom, was it? I'm going to take a ten minute break." She smiled at him, her arm curling over her stomach so her breasts squeezed against the bar. Tom only nodded in a daze, watching her wander off.

Axel snorted as Tifa quickly poured herself a strong Screwdriver and gracefully ducking under the bar. She twined her arm with his and pulled him away from the crowd, toward a path that lead to the paopu garden.

They walked silently side by side before finding an unoccupied bench. Tifa collapsed against the expensive seat with a sigh, resting her feet. Even if it had only been two hours, bartending was no joke. She felt like she had just worked in a factory all day.

"Bartending is like dating a shitty guy," Tifa grumbled loudly, "I love my job because it pays, but sometimes it feels like I'm gonna die from the needy asshole. Exactly like a shit relationship."

Axel chuckled, visibly relaxing in her presence as he idly tapped out another cigarette from his almost empty carton. "Yeah, I know. Some of those nights at High Noon… Like when Leon started taking his shirt off at lives? Haha, and you had a crush on him for like forever too. Even while you were dating Cloud! And they were both secretly lusting about each other!"

Tifa squealed as her face flushed, she began playfully punching him in the arm, "No! Shut up, Axel! I know it was stupid! But Leon has _such_ a nice six-pack. And I didn't know that Cloud…was…"

Axel barked out another laugh, "Christ, you hang around with this incredible percentage of homos and you haven't developed a proper gaydar?"

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter if Leon is gay, cause whatever, him and Cloud are super hot." Tifa giggled back, grabbing the cigarette Axel offered her.

"Should you be saying that about your ex-boyfriend?" Axel mused aloud as he lit hers with his lighter before his own. They both smoked in silence for a moment.

"You doin' okay, Ax?" Tifa finally hedged, looking up at the stars above while absently puffing on her cigarette. You could see so many more stars here than you could in Madison, she thought. Or even from her hometown. There must be less light pollution here, she mused, waiting for Axel to speak.

He did so after a long beat of silence.

"I'm fine, Tif. I'm just pissed I let that dick hurt Rox and Dem." Axel tangled his fingers through his hair, his hand pulling against his face-chain. Tifa rolled her eyes discretely, as if _that _fact wasn't obvious, until Axel let out a chocked sob. She stared down at his hunched form, watching Axel try to reign in his emotions.

Axel looked over at Tifa, his green eyes dull as he spoke, "These people, Tifa…. From this tiny fucking Island in bumfuck. The only thing they think about him is that he killed his mother when he was twelve. And that they didn't know _Sora_ had a brother."

Tifa's gaze dropped to the ground. She reached over and blindly grabbed Axel's hand from his hair, curling her slender fingers around his callous palms.

Axel's voice was harsh as he continued, "He lived his entire life in this place... His mother was dead and he blamed himself for the accident, his father resented him, and his brother though he was a murder. The closest friends he had left him for his silence. Can you even imagine? To us this place is a paradise, to him it was a personal hell."

Axel's eyes flashed over to Tifa. She was staring intently at the ground before finally noticing Axel's gaze.

Tifa gave him a reassuring smile as she squeezed Axel's hand, "Well, they will remember him now. Axel, you of all people should understand that people inevitably get over old wounds. Even if Roxas was hurt in the past, he'll become stronger from it."

Axel nodded, but this didn't seem to comfort him. He was suddenly nodding in reverse, looking over at her with open dismay.

"Tifa, I can't do anything for them. God, first those pricks in high school doing all this horrible shit to Dem but, just…." Axel sounded ashamed. "How can I ever protect Roxas if I'm a pansy bitch like this?"

Tifa smiled absently as Axel shakily brought his free hand up to pull at his hair. Despite Axel's obvious pain and self-loathing, his words warmed her heart. Because Tifa knew that Roxas would be just fine. Axel would see to that.

Tifa squeezed his hand again, shaking her head in negation and opening her mouth to speak.

"HEY, AX!" Dem's voice echoed across the courtyard, loud and clear. A couple several meters away broke apart, giggling as they disappeared behind palm trees.

Tifa giggled, standing up cheerfully before loudly shouting, "DEM! We'll be right over!"

She glanced down at him, her brown eyes calm, "Axel. You seriously need to be telling Roxas these things, not me. And don't worry about any more accidents. Things are going exactly as we planned. After you guys sing your final song, this party will be legend on this bumfuck Island. Roxas may have been silent then, but watch him when you sing."

Axel was staring at her as she clapped him on the shoulder and smirked, "And, Ax? Shut the fuck up about being a pansy you dipshit, and what-ever-the-fuck else that you were rambling about. You are not weak, you insecure prick. I heard that you beat the shit out of some fucking hefty dudes back in the day, don't think Aerith hasn't told me all about that. She told me you weren't 'Cid's kid' for nothing, whatever that means."

Axel let out an amused sigh at the harmless insults, wrapping his slender arm around Tifa's petite figure. He gave her a quick side-squeeze, finally smiling down at her like normal. He was obviously over his panic attack, Tifa was glad she had been able to calm him back down. Axel shook his red spikes as they began walking back, listening to the sound of his chain bounce against his cheek.

"Yeah, I know I'm being stupid, thinking about all this stuff I couldn't have done anything about. It's just that… Rox's brother. Sora. Something about him unnerves the hell out of me, puts me on edge." Axel told her softly.

Tifa hummed in affirmation, "Yeah, I know right?"

Demyx was running towards them, his cheeks were flushed. Axel saw that his cheek was several shades of purple, and it had swollen. Yet he still looked perky, jumping around with his ADHD, trying to hurry them along.

Tifa smiled up at the hyper musician, mentally ignoring his injuries and pretending like they didn't exist.

"Tifa, Ax, we should play our final song!" Dem told them enthusiastically, slinging his arm around Tifa's shoulder. Axel laughed from the other side, ruffling Dem's gelled hair with his free hand.

"Where is Zex?" Axel asked.

"With Aerith, Xion, Cloud, and Leon. Setting up to play." Dem told them, pulling them back into the kitchen. Axel glanced around, wondering if Roxas was still chatting with Sora.

He blindly followed Demyx back into the living room, but had to huddle close to Dem once they got inside. The entire living room was packed with people; the stage was the only open space. Their instruments were perched in their stands. Xion had set his Mad Hatter right next to Alice. Axel glanced around over people's heads, trying to find the set of familiar blonde spikes.

As he moved to step onto the stage he felt at tug at his hand. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Roxas smiling up at him. His forehead was puffy and his eyes were red, but he was oddly confident and calm.

Axel twisted around, spooning Roxas against his body anonymously in the crowd. With so many people packed together, he quickly leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the crown of Roxas's head. He hugged Roxas close to him, rubbing down his arm with his hand, uncaring of the sticky body heat from the room.

Roxas looked up him with his cerulean eyes that were… oddly complacent. Axel stared, mesmerized by the expression. Weren't those Sora's eyes?

His reverie was broken when Demyx began pulling at his sleeve. He pulled his arm around Roxas to help him to the stage, quickly jumping up after him.

Aerith was at the microphone, announcing that the band was going to play. The crowd was much more enthusiastic this time, screaming their enjoyment so loudly the windows rattled. Demyx was telling Xion that the house probably came off the foundation.

Roxas pulled his fender's strap over his head and watched Axel copy the action. Axel stared down at Roxas, not really listening to Aerith's introduction. They had already agreed on the final song before they left Madison, it was one Axel wrote right after their first Halloween together.

Axel smiled down at Roxas, finally feeling calm. It was like going into a trance. All the people around him didn't matter; all that random noise meant nothing. This room around him was empty, just the pair alone, which was how it had been when he'd strummed the first notes for this music. Axel let his eyes close shut as he grabbed his pick and began to strum out the chords.

He knew that he couldn't look at Roxas during the show. It would inevitably give them away. She he focused on some random blur of lights shining in his eyes as he opened his mouth and began to sing.

Roxas wasn't so conservative about blatantly staring at his lover because he could thoughtlessly strum out the notes he had long since memorized. Axel's voice would always be the most comforting thing he'd ever heard.

"_Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected-_

_And I can tell I've been moving in so slow-_

_Don't let it throw you off too far-_

_Cause I'll be running right behind you-"_

Roxas felt like he wasn't himself anymore. Listening to this beautiful person sing on a stage while his hometown watched them play was inimitable. His brother was also in the crowd, probably looking for Riku- and he somehow knew everything would be fine now between them.

"_Could this be out of line? Could this be out of line?  
>To say you're the only one breaking me down like this-<em>

_You're the only one I would take a shot on-_

_Keep me hanging on so contagiously-_

_Oh, when I'm around you I'm predicable-_

_Cause I believe in loving you at first sight-_

_I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to-_

_To take a hold of you." _

Axel couldn't help himself as he sang the lyrics. He immediately looked over at Roxas, watching him play the chords of music. Demyx was laughing to himself because he thought Axel looked like a fool smiling so idiotically while he sang.

It looked totally contradictory to his outward appearance. Those face chains and tight black clothes didn't match the happy-go-lucky grin plastered across Axel's face.

"_Oh, you're everything I'm wanting-_

_Come to think of it, I'm aching-_

_On account of my transgression-_

_Would you welcome this confession?"_

Roxas began watching Axel sing, and he couldn't help it- he began to laugh. Axel was screaming beautifully into the microphone and before he knew it he was jumping up and down while they played. The pair of eyes never broke the deadlock they had on each other. Right now, they were the only two people who mattered.

"_Could this be out of line? Could this be out of line?  
>To say you're the only one breaking me down like this-<em>

_You're the only one I would take a shot on-_

_Keep me hanging on so contagiously-"_

As Axel began singing the final chorus, Roxas closed his eyes and was trying to listen, but before he knew it his mouth was opening.

His voice was strong and clear even though he didn't have a microphone. It echoed off the high ceilings and over the thick crowd.

"_Could this be out of line? Could this be out of line?  
>To say you're the only one breaking me down like this-<em>

_You're the only one I would take a shot on-_

_Keep me hanging on so contagiously…-"_

The crowd was silent as the final chords left Alice's cage. Roxas opened his eyes, glancing out past the lights. His pupils rapidly dilated, his vision blurring.

The next thing he knew the room was a billion decibels loud, the walls shaking from the roaring applause. People were screaming, throwing whistles across the room, holding their glasses aloft. The applause was louder than anything Roxas had ever heard, and it was directed at his band. His chest swelled with happiness.

Chants echoed across the packed room, incomprehensible approval. Roxas spotted Olette jumping up and down, Pence was clapping next to her.

Aerith was announcing how Leon was going to do an Ollie off the second story balcony. People were talking loudly, more rambunctious now. The room quickly emptied as people filed out into the backyard to watch. Aerith grabbed Axel out of the room, he gestured to Roxas who waved back.

Demyx became squashed up beside Roxas trying not to get overtaken by the crowd, he smiling radiantly. His cheek had morphed into a deep purple, but he didn't even seem to notice anymore.

Roxas frowned to himself. That made him remember- he hadn't even put make up on to hide his own bruises. He'd gotten caught up with Sora, even though he intended to do so.

He leaned down next to Xion, "Did I look badass singing with my face all fucked up?"

Xion threw her head back to laugh, nodding, "Oh, yeah you did. I swear, you and Axel were having sex on stage just now, and it was like epic hot punk sex." 

Sora bounced up to him, gleefully throwing his arm around Roxas's shoulder. Roxas slung his own arm over in return, smiling over at his sibling. When the other people exited the room, leaving only Demyx and Xion, Roxas smiled over at his friends.

"Sora is okay who I choose to date. Even a rambunctious redhead" He told them clearly.

Xion gasped in surprise, Demyx immediately grinning while reaching over to hug Sora. Xion's mouth finally melted into a real smile, she reached down and grabbed Sora's hand.

"I'm sorry I was bitchy to you earlier. You are really different from how I had imagined you. And besides, hating you is kind of impossible." Xion apologized with a sheepish grin.

Sora looked curious, "Why?"

Demyx chuckled explanation, "Because you have the same eyes as Roxas."

Roxas started laughing again, gesturing outside with a sweep of his arm, "Should we go watch Leon break his neck?"


	10. Adversity makes a man wise

Liberated

Part IX. _Adversity Makes a Man Wise_

By DXM Junkie

XXX

Riku was in a foul mood and he did not want to be at this party anymore. He wanted to find Sora, drag him and Kairi home, and forget that this stupid night ever happened.

When Cloud spoke to Sora, offering them a condescending invite, Riku was stunned by the expression on Cloud's normally friendly face. It was harsh and cruel, bitter and unforgiving. Sora was openly shaken by Cloud's condemnation, but Riku didn't let it show that he felt the same. Riku wondered what lies Roxas had spewed about Sora. Only lies would make Cloud hate the cheerful kid this much.

Sora was firm with his decision to attend, because Cloud said Roxas would be there. Even Kairi tried to talk him out of it, but the brunette was unrelenting so they finally bent. Both of his best mates subsequently promised to stay by his side throughout the night.

Watching Roxas play on stage only pissed him off further. It was like watching an unnerving nightmare. This kid who had been so righteously silent was now hypocritically prancing around a stage singing spiteful punk songs. He was such a little poser; Riku knew that this performance was a sham.

The way Roxas was able to smile and laugh openly while Sora was shaken and upset astounded him.

Riku never liked Roxas, even when they were kids. They were forced together more times than he could count, and Riku always resented him. Roxas was arrogant, self-serving and attention seeking. Riku knew that he caused Sora's biggest scars and didn't give a shit about any person's pain other than his own.

This new Roxas was taking that lavish decadence to the next dimension. This new Roxas had trailer trash piercings all over his face and got into a fistfight with Seifer. After Tidus told Riku about the fight, he'd been inwardly elated. It was what Roxas deserved, after all, being punched across the face. Roxas was an undeserving brat who always had no respect for himself or others. Riku wouldn't be able to live with himself if he had a history like Roxas.

Riku wasn't sure why he despised Roxas with such passion, uncaring of the consequences. But he did. Whenever Roxas smiled, Riku felt cheated.

That ass caused his best friend more pain that could ever be spoken aloud. Riku alone had been there to pick of the pieces during Sora's darkest hours, and Riku wanted to protect the brunette from anything, even his family. Roxas was a threat, and Riku didn't want him poisoning Sora's mind.

Riku had not seen Sora in nearly an hour, and this didn't sit well with him. It was obvious that Roxas and his friends were horrid influences; their outward appearance was outlandish and gay looking. It was like watching an emo-screamo commercial with how they dressed, dancing around like they thought they were clever.

Riku blanched at the skin-tight pants and the kid-sized shirts the band dawned. One of the kids had this disgusting Mohawk-mullet, while another had hair that covered his eyes. The thick makeup smeared across their faces would attract drag queens. Even if the music they played was decent _enough_, the songs were too personal, hit too close to home. When Roxas had sung at Sora, the poor guy nearly started sobbing. Riku wanted to throttle Roxas, but couldn't because of the crowd.

Kairi later dragged him to set of tables and began playing a drinking game after the bands final song. She wasn't very good at it and didn't score many points but their buddy Tidus taught her the basic rules. Riku kept his eyes peeled for Sora as they played two rounds, but he didn't see the brunette anywhere. He wasn't really getting into the game anyway because he was too apprehensive. He was unable to focus on anything, instead he felt like he was dazed.

Riku finally waved to Kairi, grabbed his drink and went off in search of his friend. Most of the other guests had gone outside to watch the drummer Ollie off the balcony. Maybe Sora had gone with.

The outside patio was packed with people; they were all laughing and jolly and way too fucking loud. Riku glared as he walked, his eyes scanning the faces with disinterest. His cheeks felt flushed from the alcohol he had been downing.

He spotted Sora in the back corner of the deck with Roxas and his band. They were laughing loudly, talking with ostentatious hand gestures. Cloud was nowhere in sight. Sora had a beer in one hand and his eyes were glazed. Riku stiffened with displeasure. This fucking band had gotten the kid drunk.

Riku stormed silently over to them, crossing his arms in front of Sora. Sora giggled up at him cheerfully, "Hey, Riku!" 

"What are you doing, Sora?" Riku asked quietly, his voice remaining steady.

The redhead slung his arm around Sora's shoulder, pulling the shorter guy against his chest with a cocky smirk and swiftly spoke with a Southern accent, "We are just talkin' and drinkin' and having a golly ol' fashioned swell time."

Riku glared at the redhead before turning his attention to his inebriated friend, "Sora, I think it's time to leave."

Sora frowned, "But I don't want to leave. I'm catching up with Roxas and meeting his friends. They are_ super_ nice, and really interesting. They are telling me all about Halloween in Madison, apparently it's the biggest Halloween party in the country!"

The Mohawk kid smiled over at him, obviously pleased by Sora's exuberance. Riku wanted to rip the giant gage right out of his dirty-hippie ear.

"So what, you guys are suddenly peachy-keen now? Even after he was such a dick to you when he was playing earlier?" Riku retorted sharply.

Roxas bristled, swiftly standing up before moving so his face was mere inches away from Riku's face. He looked taller than he actually was when he stood like that, his shoulders arched with his back rigid. His cerulean eyes, the same as Sora's, were dancing with anger. Sora reached out to grab his brother's arm but Roxas shrugged it off and took a small step forward. Riku leaned away from him.

"This is none of your fucking business, Riku. Maybe you should leave?" Roxas asked him slowly, annunciating his words with open resentment.

Riku snorted in humorless amusement, "Oh, what, you think you can scare me _Roxas_? That heavy makeup and slutty clothes don't hid what's underneath- a fucking selfish queer."

Roxas's face melted into surprise, his mouth gaping open. There was no way that Riku could know about Axel. It wasn't possible. The silver-haired devil was probably just using the term as an insult, not literally. But it scared Roxas and his stomach tightened as a wave of nausea unsteadied him.

Sora moved his arms between them, separating them, "Stop," he turned to glare at his friend, not at all amused by Riku's behavior while anxiously asking, "Seriously, what's your problem?"

Riku grabbed Sora's arm and was about to pull him away when he blinked sharply in surprise. Sora stared back up at him blankly as Riku leaned over to sniff Sora's t-shirt. Roxas remained motionless, watching them but not really seeing properly. Axel moved next to him and was holding his elbow, slender fingers curling softly around his bare skin. Roxas unconsciously backed up into the warmth of Axel's chest, his lungs deflating as the redhead's arms wrapped around his back discreetly.

Riku pulled away from Sora in disgust, frantically yelping, "You've been smoking pot, Sora? _What the fuck are you thinking_? Do you know how stupid that shit is?"

Sora blushed, edging away from his oldest friend as he tried to explain himself, "Well, it was just to try it."

Riku pointed directly at Roxas, he was near hysterics, "This is your fucking fault, you little shit. You come home for not even a day and your fucking giving Sora _drugs_?"

Axel's body pounded with adrenalin as he cautiously stared at Riku with open dislike. He was waiting for Riku to make a move; he would not allow anyone else to harm Roxas again, not now or ever.

Axel felt his fist clench in apprehension as he thought, '_Over my dead body_.'

The redhead motioned to step forward but Xion and Demyx held him back by the hem of his shirt. Roxas moved in front of them while holding his arms out to keep the band mates back. He didn't want them getting hurt, Riku was obviously freaking the hell out. Even Sora was shocked by his uncharacteristic behavior.

Roxas's friends were silent and cautious as they watched the exchange from behind him. They were ready to move at a moments notice. Zexion had slipped out anonymously to go find Cloud and Leon. Xion looked close to tears, Demyx's eyes had gone dull with sadness.

Demyx felt his arms wrap around his body as he thought about the insults that the prep directed at Roxas. Queer. He had heard that word way too many times. The tone Riku used reminded him of how the jocks had said it as they raped him.

Roxas noticed Sora deflating with shame at Riku's countenance. A spark of pure anger jolted through him as he screamed back loudly, "Oh, and what, you're his keeper now? The one who tells him what he can and cannot do? Sora's twenty-two-years-old for fucks sake. You are the one acting like a queer, following him around your whole lives like a lapdog."

His words got the intended reaction. Riku was suddenly unhinged; his cheeks flushed while his lips curled into an unbecoming snarl. The next thing anyone knew, Riku's fist was directly in front of Roxas's face, aiming right where he had been bruised earlier. Roxas would have been completely unable to block the punch.

But before the blow could be delivered, Axel animated with a shout and quickly snatched the kid's wrist to dig his fingers deep into the skin; his nails pinching tender flesh as he twisted the trapped arm around painfully.

Axel clenched his fist and swiftly punched Riku across his cheekbone as hard as he could. He released all his anger, all his frustrations about this stupid Island that Roxas was regrettably from into the punch, his fist immediately smarting as pain shot up his arm.

He felt his blood thrum in his ears as Riku toppled to the ground with a thud; a few people were moving back in surprise, yelping anxiously. Sora stared down at Riku in disbelief. Roxas quickly moved to grab Axel but the redhead protectively shoved the blond away as Riku regained his footing. Roxas tumbled into Demyx, who held him upright as Riku started walking forward.

Sora darted in front of him, pushing Riku away from his brother to stop them from fighting. Riku began cradling his cheek as his whole body trembled in frustration. Riku felt his heart freeze when he looked down at the brunette.

Sora was crying, silent tears of agony pouring down his tanned cheeks. His eyes reflected his pure shock and disgust at Riku's actions; Sora's gaze narrowed into a disdainful glare. Riku felt his blood grow cold as Sora turned his face away in resignation, his gaze directed at his brother as he spoke.

"Never go near my brother **again**, Riku." Sora said quietly, only a handful of people heard the words.

Sora was silent for a moment before repeating, "_Never go near him again_."

Roxas felt a swell of affection for his kin despite the horrid circumstances. Riku looked stunned, unable to comprehend Sora's countenance and words.

Sora's shoulders hunched over as he curled his arms around his stomach and stormed away without another glance in Riku's direction.

Xion quickly darted after him, Riku motioning to follow. Axel saw this and firmly shoved him away, nearly knocking him over again. Axel firmly stood his ground as if daring Riku to fight back, a cold chuckle escaping his lips as Riku held his arms up in defense.

Roxas thought Axel looked frightening. He had never seen his boyfriend so livid before. He'd seen him pissed, frustrated, and upset… but never so blatantly menacing. Axel wasn't meant to fight people, plain and simple. And he wasn't the type to drunk and get aggressive. If anything, drinking just made the man horny, Roxas knew this best of all.

But right now Axel was two seconds away from beating the fucking shit out of Riku.

Axel snarled louder, his voice venom as he spat in Riku's face while the smaller man tried to scurry backwards, "If you _ever _try to touch my boyfriend again,_ I will fucking kill you_."

The people on the patio were loud, pointing over at the fight with interest and gossiping indiscreetly. Axel turned his glare on the crowd, silently demanding them to mind their own business. They turned away in shame when he met questioning glances. The random people shriveled under that gaze; his green eyes were eerie with their omnipresent psychotic reassurance. Roxas noticed Pence and Olette standing a couple yards behind Sora, their faces were aghast as they were quickly pushed aside by a disheveled Cloud, who flung past them. Cloud was next to Riku in a heartbeat.

The toned surfer snatched Riku's shirt aggressively, all but dragging him off his feet and towards the side-exit of the balcony. The collar of Riku's shirt was choking him, his face pounding while his vision blurred by unbidden tears. Cloud practically shoved Riku off the deck; he barely managed to land on his feet. Cloud was a blur when Riku looked up at him in disbelief.

"Get the fuck out of here and don't come back." Cloud told him sternly, turning around and disappearing behind the crowd without another word.

A few Islanders were pointing at him as Riku spit blood out of his mouth and strode away, trying to appear confident with his hands jabbed in his pockets. But inside he felt empty and sadly pathetic.

Cloud found Roxas where he'd left him before cautiously ruffling his hair while checking for damage. He finally pouted over at Axel, visually flustered. Blond spikes were rumpled and his clothes wrinkled and messily assembled. His lips were puffy and he had a love bite on the curve of his color bone. 

"What did you do this time?" Cloud asked quietly, crossing his arms. Axel smiled absently, biting his lip to oppress a laugh. Cloud was clearly not happy, and Axel had three guesses why- none of which concerned Leon and the nearest horizontal surface available.

Roxas stepped forward after a long moment of silence to defend the redhead, "Cloud, Riku was trying to hit me. Axel stopped him."

Cloud rolled his eyes down at his fellow Islander in amused disbelief, "Seriously? You're a menace, Rox, you realize that right? Not even home for a fortnight and you're already bruised and battered."

Roxas snorted out a laugh, "That's a little much."

Cloud finally let out a deep breath while his voice remained reproachful, "Well, next time you plan on getting beat up tonight, find someone else to be the bouncer. I was like seconds away from a perfect orgasm, that you quit frankly ruined that with this buzzkill bullshit."

Roxas let out a surprised laugh, cheeks flushing with that same naïve innocence Cloud recognized from when they first met, "Oh, I… I guess I didn't…. mean to interrupt."

Axel frowned, glaring down over at his friends. Zexion had rejoined Demyx and they were chatting with the girls over by the bar. Demyx was informing Yuffie about what had happened, Aerith looked downtrodden as she stared down at the bar. Axel saw that Tifa was upset, and when she met Axel's gaze she quickly ran over.

"You okay, Ax? How's your hand?" The bartender asked, putting her hand on his arm with concern.

Roxas turned around in surprise, blindly reaching for his boyfriend's wrist to examine the aforementioned appendage. His knuckles were puffy and white-colored. Roxas thought that it looked painful and it was Roxas's turn to glare up at Axel with disapproval. Axel thought he looked adorable like that, and despite his throbbing hand Axel allowed a small smile.

"You fucking idiot." Roxas told his lover, his fingers curling around Axel's wrist as he carefully examined the damage. Axel noticed that Roxas was pale and probably needed a stiff drink. Axel glanced over at Tifa and gave her a wistful smile.

"Hey Tif? Would'ya be a right proper doll and get us all a round of strong shots?" He asked dolefully.

Tifa nodded in understanding and clapped his shoulder before standing and returning to the bar. Axel sunk into the seat he had been occupying before Riku had crapped on their lives, his hands buried into the long tresses of his thick hair as he tugged at the clumps. He finally buried his face into his hands.

Roxas crouched beside him, his soft palm resting on Axel's neck as he quietly inquired, "I need to go find Sora. Wanna come?"

Axel shook his head negative, as he groaned into his hands, "No, I'm fucking done with this night. I'm going back upstairs after this shot and passing the hell out. And you should come with me to coddle and comfort me. Today was fucking lame."

Roxas absently smiled at his boyfriend's pitiful countenance, "I can't go to bed just yet. We are leaving Ainu late tomorrow afternoon and I won't have another chance to talk with Sora in person before we go."

Axel looked up at him bleakly from between his fingertips, "Would you care to enlighten me as to how you two became cuddly again?"

Roxas released a tentative smile, and uncaringly leaned forward. He let his lips brush the smooth skin of Axel's forehead, and his fingers curled tenderly around the nape of Axel's slim neck. Roxas's eyes were calm and compassionate as he stared intently at his boyfriend, and even though he was visibly haggard Axel found him stunningly gorgeous.

"When you left us alone upstairs, I told him that I am madly in love with you. Sora was okay with it, even after all the drama. And he told me to be happy." Roxas's voice was barely above a whisper. Axel was blank for a moment before finally grinning in elation. He hugged Roxas too his chest, overwhelmed at the unexpected approval.

"I actually really like your brother." He amended into Roxas's hair, knowing he had taken back any previous negative thoughts for his boyfriend's sibling.

Tifa brought out a round of double shots; motioning for the group to join her at the table she rested the tray on. Cloud already disappeared again (probably to find Leon) so only Tifa, Aerith, Yuffie, Zexion, Demxy, Xion, Axel and Roxas toasted to their health at the end of the night. After they downed the shots with a harsh sting at the bitter liquid, the group left in pairs to clean up, drink more, or pass out.

It was already three in the morning, and when Demyx and Zexion went inside to go upstairs, Cloud started ushering people home. Leon was still nowhere in sight.

For Cloud, saying goodnight to so many people was tedious. All he wanted to do was head straight upstairs to his warm bed and his boyfriend's even warmer body and indulging in foreplay before attaining well-deserved rest. Cloud was on edge for too many hours, not really relaxed or comfortable. This hadn't been an unfounded fear on his part. Both Roxas and Demyx were walking away from this vacation with bruised faces and the derogatory slur 'faggot' echoing in the back of their minds.

Cloud was also trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he would also be associated with that word after tonight.

Earlier, Zexion pounded on his bedroom door while Leon and him were having a quickie. After telling them how Riku was getting aggressive, Cloud frantically pulled his pants back on and started to run down stairs. He'd been leaning over to kiss Leon one last time when Selphie barged around the corner and caught them mid lip lock. She squealed and ran off before he could even choke out an excuse. Cloud imaged that he would receive a call from his emulated father in a few days (maybe even a few hours), asking him about rumors and reputation.

And at this moment, Cloud felt like he would simply tell his father the truth. He would cross his arms behind his back and flatly state that he found his soul mate on the beach in Dunedin. They had grown close in Madison, and when they finally started dating he couldn't remember being so disgustingly blissful. He was **in love** with Squall Leonheart, who was most decidedly a male, and unwilling to leave his side at any cost.

How would he voice these things aloud? These simple, honest facts? That Leon made him work harder and aspire to be willful and ambitious? How would he explain that even if things sometimes got hard between them, because that happened to gay and straight couples alike, they would inevitably work around anything and everything?

Even if they broke up- it was unfathomable to forget one another. They would probably wind up back together after a stint of lonely rejection, and this oddly comforted Cloud. Because even if shit got super bad, he would explain, Leon made him a better man.

Cloud sighed to himself as he started pushing people out the front door. He mused humorlessly, '_And then, dad would shit his pants and attempt to murder me_.'

At least both of his bruised friends possessed lovers who would do anything to protect them, and he was sure after they left Ainu things would return to normal.

Outside, Roxas was reaching over to pull at Axel's hair softly as he quietly spoke, "We'll talk tomorrow, okay? You look so tired, Ax."

He added teasingly, "It muddles your girlish figure. Go get some sleep, and I'll join you soon." Roxas ruffled his boyfriends hair and lowered his voice a little, "I love you."

Axel was overwhelmingly exhausted as he stood, curling his arm around Roxas and weakly planting a kiss to the silky mop of hair. Axel made sure not to touch Roxas's forehead, but felt clumsy when he pulled away. Now that the adrenaline had worn off he was far too tired to care about PDA rules. Most of the people were leaving or already gone anyway. And most were too drunk to remember such a transgression.

Axel noted that these Islanders couldn't hold their alcohol. They downed booze like it was water despite having a low tolerance. It was pure stupidity, and it reminded Axel of his high school years. Back when him and Dem started pilfering alcohol from Cid's cabinet, and got sloppy drunk together in his bedroom.

And if anything- the word _queer_ on this Island was probably going to take new meaning after tonight. Roxas and the group would be long gone to miss all consequences, and Axel didn't give a fuck about the gossip anymore. This place wasn't worth his time. As long as Roxas was satisfied, that was all that mattered.

"I love you, babe." Axel responded discreetly as he quickly pecked the boy's forehead one last time and wandered off in the direction of their bedroom.

Roxas felt his chest warm with affection and he wanted to chase after his lover. They would strip naked and crawl under the covers and he would bury himself into that familiar embrace until every inch of his body was languidly relaxed. Then they would wake up and make love before they left, slow and affectionate. Perhaps Roxas would take him up on the bet-prize Axel owed him. Roxas felt hot at the idea of dominating his masculine boyfriend in such a manner.

'_That would be wonderful_,' Roxas mused.

But he would think about that later; Roxas needed to find Sora. He knew his brother was probably being emo in a corner, and how he loathed fighting with Riku. Even as children, they had only gotten into four or five huge fights. Roxas didn't know how things were now, but Sora had always been miserable when he wasn't talking to his best friend.

Roxas never understood why Sora cared about Riku so much; Roxas thought he'd always been a prat. Even if Sora could find the good in anyone, Roxas wondered if his brother was simply naïve.

Riku wasn't very nice to Sora either, often ordering around and pressuring him. Despite this, Sora hero-worshipped him while growing up. Sora could blab for hours when they were younger about how cool and mature Riku was. Roxas had always rolled his eyes when he thought about the narcissistic overachiever. Riku was always self-righteous; exhibiting an arrogant holier-than-thou mentality. And Sora was far too good-natured to spot the hypocrisy.

Roxas bet that Riku was going to feel like a downright jackass when he awoke with a bruised face the next morning. At least Roxas had been protecting someone when he got his injury; Riku had just been acting like a dick.

Roxas weaved back through the kitchen into the living room. The place had been trashed with crumpled wrappers and empty red cups scattered everywhere. Empty bottles of liquor littered the floor; the room retained the odd musk from when all the sweaty people had been packed together. Zexion told Roxas earlier that Leon brought their instruments back upstairs after the show (while he was getting ready to Ollie off the balcony). Roxas was grateful for his thoughtfulness; he had been too occupied to notice.

Leon was a good sport about pranks, probably immune to them after living with Cloud for so long. And Roxas felt Leon was the perfect choice do to the dive.

Roxas though that the older brunette was devastatingly erotic as he dove feet-first into the pool shirtless, his toned muscles flexed tight. Roxas had noticed Cloud's heated gaze, and it inevitably comforted him as it always did when he spotted visible signs of affection from the stoic couple.

However, he was mentally drained, probably more so than Axel. He already knew that he would need a long time to he process what had happened during that inimitable night. Playing live, coming out to his brother, Axel defending him, Seifer punching Demyx, the feeling of weightlessness at how he knew everything would be just fine tomorrow morning. Like a like a mother tells a bawling brat to soothe them into slumber.

Roxas spotted his brother spread-eagle on the couch by the bay window, talking quietly with Xion. Xion had her legs curled under her; the pink fabric of her dress was elegantly draped over the armrest. Sora's eyes were puffy and red and he was hiccupping to himself as he downed another beer. Xion appeared strained, her expression tight when he approached.

Roxas gave a crooked smile as he waved at Xion, trying to appear cheerful despite his brother's obvious inner-angst, "Hey Sora, you okay?"

Sora looked up at Roxas before wailing loudly as he hiccupped unavoidably, "I'm so sorry about… *hic* Riku. I didn't… *hic* know he would do that…. and _seriously_… I've never seen him act like such a dick."

Roxas chuckled as he sank onto the chair next to Xion, "Yeah, well. I was startled when he called me a queer. I never saw him as a perceptive kind of guy."

Sora looked guilt-stricken but forced the words out, "Axel… *hic*… called you his _boyfriend_ during the fight. I've heard people talking about it since then, by tomorrow the whole Island will probably… *hic* know… but I don't… think dad will find out for a while."

Roxas groaned, his head dropping into his hand; he'd been expecting that. He didn't fault Axel for what he said; it had been in the heat of the moment and Axel was chockfull of good intentions. And he could never fault his lover for trying to protect him.

So Roxas focused on Sora's previous words, "Why wouldn't dad find out?"

"Because I think most people…. Were cool with it, actually." Sora mumbled, trying to hold his breath and rid himself of the hiccups.

Roxas blinked in surprise, looking over at Xion for confirmation.

She nodded while imitating an Islander with a mockingly heavy surfer accent, "Yeah, they were all like, _'Dude, that Roxas kid is, like, totally fucking badass. So who cares if he's homo? I heard Selphie saw Cloud macking on that drummer dude upstairs, no lie! But Cloud's still a million times more manly than you, haha_.'"

Somehow nothing anyone told him could surprise him. Normally Xion's nonchalant words would have found him agape with disbelief. The Island's close-minded mentality suddenly forgiving? Not in this lifetime.

But if Cloud had been caught showing affection for Leon, this proverbially paved the way for Roxas's sexuality. Roxas filed this information away before focusing his attention back to Sora.

"It's not your fault about Riku, Sora, so don't worry about it. I wasn't offended, more pissed that Axel's hand got hurt on his face."

Roxas frowned retrospectively, "You know, Riku has always hated me, even when we were kids."

Sora twiddled his fingers with awkward resolution. His hiccups were finally absent when he spoke, his words oddly sober, "Yeah, I know that. When you were silent and stuff during high school he was always quick to judge."

Roxas was silent, watching Sora bit his lip with shame, "And when… I sent you that email after dad got remarried… about how nobody missed you and stuff…it was mostly Riku who wrote that. I just… sat next to him… let him type it out, and send it."

Roxas snorted, "I figured as much. You suck at writing, Sora, and that email didn't sound like you."

Sora downed more of his beer, excess spilling down his chin. His eyes were glazed and disoriented as he looked around blankly. Sora was obviously too drunk to go anywhere. Roxas glanced over at Xion who was fiddling with her camera.

"Have you been feeding him beer?" He asked her, a little amused.

Xion hummed, watching Sora stare at the lights outside, "Yeah, well. He was crying and… it's kind of devastating to watch him cry, so, I just kinda grabbed a six pack and sat back and let him ramble."

Sora was hiccupping again as Xion continued, "I figured he could just stay here anyway, since there are like a hundred rooms in this mansion."

Roxas yawned, bringing his legs up so he could rest his chin on his knee. Xion giggled, reaching over to toy with a strand of Roxas's hair.

"Did you like the party?" She asked, her fingers brushing through his hair to massage his scalp. Roxas let his eyes flutter shut as he groaned, nodding as he felt the tension leave his body.

"Yeah," he responded, "I guess I did. I didn't think this was a good idea, but-" Roxas glanced up at his brother whose head was lolling against his shoulder, "It was."

In the background they heard Cloud shouting, kicking out the last of the stragglers who were stubbornly refusing to leave. He slammed the front door shut and began combing his hands through his hair. He waved at them despondently, disappearing moments later up the stairs with mumbled words.

Roxas sat up after a long moment, Xion removing her hand. Roxas smiled down at her affectionately, "I'm going to get Sora into a spare room. G'night, Xion. Thanks for everything tonight, sweetie."

Roxas wound his arm around Sora's waist, pulling him upright. It took a while, but he was finally able to deposited Sora into a spare room with a glass of water next to his bedside. Roxas was still buzzed from the end-of-the-night double shot, so he nearly tripped when he tried to write out his phone number for Sora.

He stumbled out, having a little difficulty finding his room. When he finally found it, he tore off his clothes with wild abandon and flopped into the bed, body quickly curling into Axel's warmth.

Axel awoke for a moment, just long enough to wrap his arms around Roxas.

Roxas felt his brain shut down as Axel nuzzled into his ear. He shifted his fingers around the redhead's slender wrist, kissing the slender digits affectionately. As his eyes finally shut with Axel's strong musk lulling him, Roxas blissfully slept.

In his dreams that night Axel took Sora and himself to a picnic at Stony Park in downtown Madison. They munched on pineapples and smoked incredibly long cigarettes. Demyx appeared and forced Sora to drink brandy. They got in a car and went to a gay club; Sora was taking dance pointers from Leon. As they were dancing, Sora suddenly confessed to him that he was dispassionately in love with…

That was all Roxas could remember.

XXX

The next morning was rushed and frantic.

They were supposed to leave on Cloud's yacht by three in the afternoon, but when Tifa woke up first it was already past noon.

Tifa awoke Yuffie and Aerith in a panic, and the group of girls proceeded to pull the boys out of bed and force them to get ready. Aerith got an eyeful when she yanked the covers off Leon and Cloud, but she didn't say a word.

The group of friends was incredibly dehydrated, and had been so focused on the party that they had forgotten to prepare for the next part of the vacation. So as they downed large glasses of water, they delegated responsibilities to one another.

They still had to pack their stuff, bring it to the marine, purchase food, load the boat, prepare to sail and depart in three hours.

None of the group really spoke, most just sipped black coffee in resignation as they tried to remember specific tasks at hand.

Roxas was hungover as hell when he packed all the stuff messily into his bag. He forced his belongings to fit before throwing them carelessly into the back of the rental car.

He was sweating and irritated as he helped Leon load their instruments and other luggage, which felt much heavier in his sluggish state. He hadn't forgotten the stale humidity of the Islands, but he didn't miss it.

Around two in the afternoon the group finally left Cloud's house. Tifa and Aerith insisted that they should clean after the party, but Cloud assured them the hired help was paid well enough to manage.

The marine from where they were departing was located in a cove on the east end of the Island. The waves were gentle along the docks, but the dock was still narrow when hauling heavy suitcases.

Roxas felt miserable as the group pulled luggage aboard the vessel. His head was pounding from the bruise and he felt nauseous. His only comfort was Axel handing him icy bottles of water while patting his back softly.

Right before they were set to sail, Yuffie and Aerith managed to spend over $300 on food and drink at the grocery store for the three-day trip. Cloud rolled his eyes as the girls tried to explain themselves, but Cloud was already well aware that this trip was more expensive than he'd initially planned.

Roxas was lying on his back by the boat waiting for Leon to return from bringing the rental car back so they could finally depart. Axel had already gone inside to their small cubby to pass out.

"Hey, Rox!" A voice called out from several meters away.

Roxas glanced up, squinting as he saw his brother's slim body stride down the dock. Sora was wearing a fresh t-shirt and boxers and obviously showered. Roxas was envious; he felt gross right now. But he quickly pulled his body upright, wrapping his arms around his legs even as his stomach lurched in protest.

Even if Sora had been incredibly drunk the night before, he was still perfectly cheerful as he bounced near his brother before crouching next to him. Roxas envied him as he weakly smiled, nevertheless pleased that his brother had come to say goodbye.

Sora slung the backpack off his shoulder and handed it to him, smiling as Roxas reached to grab the preferred bag.

"That has your old sketchbooks from high school. Dad tried to throw them away after you left, but I grabbed them out of the trash because they are too beautiful."

Roxas smiled earnestly at his brother as he hugged the backpack to his chest, "Thank you."

Sora chuckled, "And I bought you a cell phone this morning. Unlike you, I apparently make money at my job. That phone has unlimited long distance minutes, so call me whenever. We need to seriously catch up."

Roxas nodded, slinging the bag around his back as he stood up. He reached over and hugged his brother, feeling at peace as his brothers arms wrapped around him.

They had been to this exact beach hundreds of times before. Either searching for seashells or bringing Kairi's tugboat out to the smaller Island just a mile beyond. Roxas had held the tiller while Sora balanced the small boat, Kairi squealing in delight even while they almost toppled over.

As Roxas pulled away from the hug he was frowning thoughtfully.

"Have you spoken with Riku?" He asked.

Sora frowned, his mood immediately turning sour, "No, not yet. I've called him but he won't answer his phone. I thing he's too ashamed right now to talk."

Roxas rolled his eyes, "Or too hungover. But Sora, seriously, I don't care about Riku right now. Forgive him, it doesn't matter."

Sora glared in astonishment, "Of course it matters, he was suck a prick last night!"

Roxas barked out a laugh before responding, "Yeah, he was. But I'm going home soon, and Riku can't touch me. You're the one who has to deal with him."

Sora huffed, leaning back and gazing up at the clear blue sky. They listened to the waves lapping against the beach for a long minute before Sora finally faced him with stern determination.

"Roxas, I want to leave the Destiny Islands."

Roxas idly shut his eyes, "Do you?"

Sora nodded, almost to himself, "Yes."

Roxas smiled back up at him, extending his hand, "Then come with us."

Sora stared blankly at him, "Now?"

"Right now."

"But- I don't have clothes or anything." Sora sounded embarrassed.

"OH!" Xion cried out, starling the siblings as she jumped onto the dock and trying to appear as if she hadn't been eavesdropping.

"Sora! You comin' with us? Do it! I have tons of extra clothes." She yelled exuberantly, obviously amused.

"Yeah, he should come." Leon stated, striding toward the boat with a backpack around his shoulder.

Sora was biting his lip as Cloud peeked his head into view.

"Oh? Sora wants to come? He's invited." Cloud said, obviously forgetting his previous anger towards the brunette.

Sora frowned, wondering what he should do. He had to work on tomorrow with Kairi, and he had class this week too.

But looking up at his brother, he admired how free and open he was. Roxas could literally sail away on a boat with his best friends, and be unrestricted.

Sora was envious as he shook his head in negation, "No, I'm sorry Rox. Not this adventure. I have to work tomorrow and it would really inconvenience Kairi if I didn't show to pick up her shift. Plus, I'm not going to skip the classes I'm paying to attend."

Roxas nodded, reaching out to hug Sora again. He hadn't really expected his brother to say yes, anyway. It was only due to various circumstances that his schedule was free in the first place.

Leon chuckled at Sora's response, leaning over to ruffle Sora's hair affectionately. Sora looked up this stranger; Leon was a good two feet taller than him. He had seen Leon the night before, but never spoken with him.

"You're welcome anytime in Madison, kid. I heard that you approve Axel and Rox being sick-in-love."

Sora blushed at the attention, nodding shyly.

Leon gave him a warm smile, an expression Roxas had never seen before on his attractive face. Roxas was happy because Leon was an excellent judge in character. Even if Roxas had felt his brother was a good person, he was probably biased because they were siblings. But Leon was glowing down at Sora, obviously pleased with the kid.

"Well, Sora Kouda, I'm called Leon. I'm Cloud's boyfriend." He held out his hand. Sora blindly shook it for a moment, still in a trance.

Sora suddenly flashed his eyes to Cloud for startled confirmation. Cloud rolled his eyes with an amused expression, "It's true."

Roxas started laughing at his brother's astonished expression. He patted Sora on the arm, "Wait here a second."

Roxas jumped onto the boat, disappearing down into the hull.

Sora shyly glanced up at Leon, "Do you think Roxas is happy?"

Leon nodded, "Yes, he is."

Cloud jumped off the ship, walking over to stand by Sora.

"I guess I should apologize for being a shithead to you a couple days ago." Cloud told him sheepishly.

Sora shook his head in negation, "No, I deserved that."

Cloud huffed, "No, way, Sora. It's just- leaving the Islands makes you jaded. You think you know people but then you realize you don't."

Sora nodded, gazing blankly at the dock. "I know I hurt Roxas, but it _was_ half his fault."

Leon curled an arm around Sora's shoulder, "And it will make you both stronger."

Sora smiled up him happily, silently agreeing. Cloud frowned absently at Leon, wondering why his lover had taken to the brunette so quickly.

Roxas was jumping off the dock, he quickly handing Sora a CD.

"This is my band's music. I know it's a little confusing from last night, but Axel is our vocalist."

Sora held the CD to his chest, smiling at his brother, "Your gonna come back here before you fly out, right?"

Roxas chuckled and pulled out the gifted phone from his pocket, "I'll call you as soon as we are within reception."

Minutes later they were departing, Sora waved at them as they sailed off.

Roxas lounged on the bow of the yacht, watching the waves roll below him. A million different emotions were engulfing him, he felt listless. He heard Tifa and Yuffie squealing about something in the background. Leon was helping Cloud navigate the boat. Aerith had gone off to sleep along with Xion, Dem and Zexion.

Roxas was soon fast asleep with his arms curled around the side of the yacht. Leon spotted him and tenderly scooped him up.

Leon knew that this trip had changed his opinion about multiple things. Even if he had liked Roxas before simply based on personality, he now respected the kid immensely. Roxas was a tough kid. Roxas's face was bright blue and purple, but Roxas was uncaring. He was too busy being happy about reconciling with his brother.

And Axel- Leon also respected Axel a lot more now. As Tifa and himself loaded luggage into the car, she had elaborated on the events from the night. Axel has practically tried to kill Riku, and Tifa told Leon that Axel would die to keep Roxas from suffering.

Leon cradled Roxas to his chest while opening the door to his bedroom door. He lay the smaller guy on the bed before he deposited a platonic kiss atop soft blond spikes. Roxas was far stronger than he had been at that age, and he was going to be just fine.

As soon as Roxas was lying down, Axel immediately rolled over to face him. The redhead was still asleep as he scooted closer to the body heat.

Even in sleep they sought after each other. Roxas's arms wrapped around his lover's lanky torso, and Leon saw Axel curl slender fingers into his lover's hair right before he shut the door.

XXX

When Roxas awoke nearly five hours later, he was cradled in the utopia of Axel's arms.

Axel's hair was a mess so Roxas let himself run his fingers through the dense tresses. Axel didn't move much when he slept, always finding one comfortable position and sticking with it. He didn't snore either, simply breathing with a comforting repetition.

Roxas reached his arms from under the covers to curl around Axel's shoulder. He lifted himself so his body loomed over the unconscious man.

Leaning down mischievously he wetly kissed his lovers parted lips.

Axel awoke, his eyes fluttering open from the contact. He automatically spooned his arm around Roxas's waist, pulling the younger man to lie atop him.

Axel spooned Roxas close, absently kissing his hair, "Hey, you."

"Hey," Roxas responded, letting his fingers play around the Axel's face. He traced the man's sharp features, idle and lazy.

Axel moved so he was resting on his hip, his arm wrapped around Roxas's stomach. Roxas grinned after a moment, sitting up and reaching past his boyfriend's body.

He fumbled with a latch for a moment before throwing open a set of windows. As soon as their eyes adjusted, the blue and endless ocean sat before their gaze. It was sunset, the sun just about to hug the horizon.

The air smelled salty and fresh, and there were hundreds of colors represented in the sky. Roxas leaned back down to cuddle with Axel, nuzzling his cheek as he watched the colors swirl out the window.

"How does your forehead feel?" Axel rumbled, eyes examining the bruise. The swelling had gone down a little, but it still looked painful.

Roxas smiled, "It's fine. I can barely feel it anymore."

Axel bit his lip, his gaze absently resting on the ocean. He was trying to recapture the feelings he'd had the night before, the desperation and inability to help Roxas.

He remembered that Tifa told him to talk with Roxas about it, and he sincerely needed to. So Axel trailed his fingers through is hair and looked back to his lover. Roxas was watching him curiously, not understanding the expressions flickering across Axel's open face.

"I freaked out a little last night." Axel told him, sounding a little embarrassed.

Roxas softly smiled, "Which part of last night?"

Axel chuckled, "All of it. I feel like I had a harder time seeing you go home than you did being there."

"What do you mean?"

Axel flopped back onto the bed, eyes closed as he tried to find the right words, "I just kept thinking about Dem back in high school."

Axel crosses his fingers over his stomach as he frowned, "How they had beaten him up and hated on him and I couldn't do anything. I felt the exact same last night. While you were off with Sora, I was trying to fathom how you survived like that for so long. It made me understand a lot more about… why you were like that when I first met you."

Roxas was pensive as he felt his fingers clench around the rough fabric of their blankets.

"I tried to imagine you… silent, alone. I couldn't imagine it." Axel opened his eyes nervously. Roxas was staring blankly up at him.

"And those stupid Islanders talk like arrogant pricks." Axel scoffed.

Roxas swallowed the lump in his throat; mind spinning with old memories, "The Islanders probably said that I killed my mom with voodoo, didn't they."

Axel nodded as Roxas spooned forward, letting his body rest flush against the older man's. Roxas kissed Axel's arm, rubbing his fingers down his ribs. Axel curled his arms back around him.

"Sorry, should I not be talking about this?" Axel asked cautiously.

Roxas shook his head, a smile instantly warming his face, "No, it's fine. I'm happy that you get offended for me."

Axel frowned again at the words, "I just feel like I can't protect you."

Roxas barked out a laugh in exasperation, "Seriously Ax?"

Axel was silent, forcing Roxas to appear stoic again. He was staring into Axel's eyes as he said earnestly, "Axel, you are one of the strongest people I've ever met. Last night Riku looked like he was gonna shit his pants after you beat him up. And you did it to defend my honor."

Roxas flushed a little as his voice lowered, "You looked… so intimidating. So, _sexy_."

Axel rolled his eyes but broke out into a smile. "Oh?"

Roxas leaned forward to press a firm kiss against his lips. He was nodded, biting at Axel's lower lip before letting their tongues tap wetly.

Roxas was staring at him with glazed eyes when he pulled back and sensually murmured, "Guess what?

Axel nearly groaned out his response, "What?"

Roxas honed in closer, his breath tingling Axel's lips, "You lost the bet."


End file.
